₦airaland Forum

Klass99:
Your comments remind me of the hot radio talk show Sharing Life Issues with Chaz B, which the late Chaz B used to host.

One time he had a female guest on the show who narrated her sojourn for a baby/child as a married woman. I didn't catch her story from the beginning but she said she wasn't proud of herself for the things she had done and places she had been to, in her quest for a child as a believer/Christian.

I recall listening to her and silently praying that may I never be in a situation where I seek help from the devil for anything, not for a child, not for money etc. She felt so ashamed and embarrassed, she said she won't reveal all the details of what she'd done or where she'd been, on air.

That part of her story I remember clearly but my memory is a bit foggy though, as to whether she got the child or not. The studio phone lines were ringing off the hook that day and when they breaked for a commercial I tuned out and didn't keep up with the rest of her story.

I didn't know that was what killed Jennifer Okere Ossai ooo, but a quick Google search confirmed what

you said. Na wao.....

Imagine what she have to go through, she can't even say it on air, to tell you the level she had gone or what she had done. Naaaa! And some people still make this mistake, a lot of people really not just some, are still following that path. These days if a couple wants children desperately and can't wait, they are better ways to go about it but some won't even if they can afford it. God bless my bro with a child after 13years through IVF (second attempt though, first one failed), which to me is better than running from one place to another.
I pray people will be more enlightened and stop all these unnecessary pressures they are putting themselves through

Klass99:
Believe me when I say some of us have learnt and are still learning. Someone once told me experience is not the best teacher, because experience is painful and if you don't learn the lesson the first time, life will take you through it over and over again until you learn.

He advised it is best to learn from other people's experience and stories, I took his advise to heart and it hasn't failed me yet. It was from him and some single mothers I learnt to disregard men who tell you to get pregnant first, then we'll proceed to the altar or the ones who tell you the surest way to marry is to get pregnant for your guy and once belle enter marriage go follow.They think all of us live and breathe for these two things only.

ahh, awesome! Learning from others mistakes saves one from painful experiences. I wish everyone will follow this path but then a lot are not. I know people that their marriage is not up to 3 years and the lady is running from one place to another, injections after another, player house to another and the funny part is the husband is not disturbing her, neither their parents. she won't listen to anything you tell her.

Honestly I don't believe that a guy that genuinely love a lady will ask her to get pregnant before marriage, that means the pregnancy is the only reason for the marriage (that is if at all the marriage proposal is true) so what happens after they stopped giving birth - end of marriage certainly. Most time those guys are not sincere, even after getting pregnant it will still not work. its unfortunate some people believe that marriage is just to produce children.
I have a neighbour that told me that after getting pregnant during dating, they quickly did traditional and the husband promise her white wedding after child birth. That baby is about 4 years now but no more wedding. Her dream of wearing a wedding gown is becoming like a mirage. insincere people everywhere

Richy4:
That was what led to the demise of my favourite actress in Nigeria.. Jenifer Okere Ossai..
The white garment churches used her as an experiment...

imagine that. very unfortunate. A lot of ladies are not learning from all these and are still falling victims out of desperation.

Blessedmercy8:
He's earning a 100k and wants to settle down. Can you as a lady earning a little above him agree to marry him?

Is it advisable to enter into marriage with such income considering the situation of the economy?

all I will say is that you're not ready for marriage yet. Please No need wasting your time and that of the young man.

this is why courtship is very important. before marriage. I told my wife that companionship is the first thing for me, that children will be additional blessing and shouldn't be the only thing in case of delay as I don't like women running from one prayer house to another because of baby. she became suspicious thinking maybe I have issue, she confess after getting pregnant.
Some of these things are suppose to be sorted before marriage but some people will just ignore it until it happens.

welcome to old Trafford case, you're what we have being lacking in years. #UpManUnited

forget it, half of the boys in nasarawa are kwankwaso boys, this is child's play self. his popularity in nasarawa is like kano.

unfortunately...

love is a beautiful thing. I pray they don't betray themselves.

Emotion that made me her fan. Those tears won her a new supporter.

first time united management gave us player we need after so many years, I wish he is younger.

#UpUnited.

that Peru remix featuring ED is something else. He is good, let me go listen to the album first.

marriage is a beautiful thing especially when you have an understanding partner

where do I start from, mine are too many

This is God in action. Congratulations

deavicky:
I was minding my business in my office trying to get out of tedious drawing I was doing, suddenly my phone rang. I checked, it was an unknown number so I ignored the call and continued with my work. The phone rang again I still did not pick. About 15 minutes later a text came from the same number that she is Mr X (my friend) wife that if I'm free I should call her back.

Immediately I had to call back.
She picked and start by apologising for calling but she couldn't just help it. That they are very broke at the moment even their little baby food is finished and no money to buy it that she had asked her husband to call me but he said he doesn't want bother me. She just had to take my number from his phone to secretly call me. She said I should send them any amount I can and I should please not let her husband know she called me that I can also send the money to his account.

I was not having much at that time so I sent 20k to his account only for my friend to call me later to thank me and also indirectly warn me not ever listen to such call from his wife.

My concern here is, why is that the same person that asked me not to tell her husband be the same person to tell her husband or is she trying to cause problem between us?

after your friend defused to call you, the wife went behind him to call you so immediately he saw the alert, he know the wife have told you against his wish.

you're a good friend, God bless you more

LoveUdie:
"I got married in 2021. Ever since day one, my hubby and I have sex twice a month. I have tried talking to him but he'll say he isn't feeling fine. If I try to seduce him he'll remove my hand. I'll have to wait till he feels like having sex which is twice a month.

We don't have kids yet and we both work. I'm tired because I'm missing out on the fun of marriage. What can I do?"


What can she do house? How can she make her husband show more interest in sex?

he needs counseling. It shows you guys didn't do marriage class.

its super wrong for him to do that, I don't want to start putting negative thought in your head but try and pray.

Mokason288:
With the tremendous inflation rate

Savings in Nigeria is useless

No join ulcer to your many problems

Chop your money

That's what they will tell you but he is better than those that didn't save! He have capital to start up something or learn a skill now. Savings is good and should be encouraged

Mindlog:
You mean, being beaten up as a child made the older generation "stronger" in life?

not just beaten but discipline. I don't understand it then but now I'm grateful to everyone that disciplined me back then.
This generation can not face challenges those older folks faced, look at the number of suicide cases today.

Mindlog:
With all those beatings many received as children, how did Nigeria turn out today?

they are actually stronger than this generation.

Samantha123:
Thank you.

you're welcome

bros, don't allow the condition you see yourself now to take away your confidence and self esteem, their are better days ahead. please stop this self pity and stuffs you're doing to yourself, some people might have borrowed what they wore there, be yourself guy, things will change soon by God's grace

interesting.... waiting to read about how you got your first girlfriend

Samantha123:
Hello nairalanders, I'm new here from South Africa, though I've been a guest for almost 4 years now. Since I didn't know much about Nigeria or Nigerians in general, I was a bit skeptical about being a member here, but my Nigerian friend whom I met 2 years ago made me realize that Nigerians can be good people to be around.

So I'm looking forward to being part of this nairaland family.

Welcome and know that the forum is not a true reflection of what or who Nigerians are as this place can be toxic most time but in reality, Nigerians are friendly are accommodating.

Deltakorrect:
Thank you here in Ibusa we still acknowledge gender equality

that's great.

onegig:
She didn't tell you the truth.

Probably she was divorced and didn't get the consent form from the other parent to travel with the kids. I am 110% sure she wasn't denied because of difference in the Surname.

Is her name not on their birth certificate?

Heck it's even a lot stressful for ladies who changed names. All your previous history, you have to go explain. Present marriage certificate, newspaper prints and whatnot just to authenticate your identity. I can not wrap my head why a lady would change her name. The hassle alone is enough turn off. But whatever works for people. Imagine you had to remarry? Lol. Affidavit for affidavit for affidavit of change of name? Why give yourself such headache ?

I am a guy and she definitely kept her surname. In some religion like Islam a Lady keeps her father's name. That is why you always have people referred to as "ibn"-son/daughter of. This taking husband name is western, I don't see references to such in most African culture that i am familiar with and honestly it is a lot inconvenient both from an identity perspective and a paperwork point of view. Maiden name... Like wtf...?

Her husband does not own her. She's a human not half human.


Edited..

that's what she told me and she is not divorce, the visa application then was for her and the kids to go meet the guy outside

I love this.... Nice!
pretty and powerful Lady. love to see ladies in Royal positions

Mindlog:
Which embassy?

I didn't asked her which embassy or probably forgotten, she told me when I saw her with newspaper publication trying to change her account information too in a hurry. According to her, they wanted traveling to meet Oga, but her request was rejected as they said she don't have evidence to show that the kids are her children because her name and info and that of the kids are different

etrouble:
With the 9 people in those pictures! I think you need psychiatric evaluation

9 people you said? I know people that travel from far places for PO program. by the grace of God i am sound and I don't need any evaluation

forMom:
Forgive me but I have a strong attachment to my father's name.

Not because I detest my fiance's name or anything like that. No, not at all. But because I feel like my father's name is my identity.
To think I'll let go of my identity just like that after marriage is distressing .

Besides, my surname sounds so lovely whenever it's mentioned. In fact, because of that, I love being called by my full name.

I've mentioned this to my fiance a few times but he doesn't understand lol .
Honestly, if I had a choice, I would not change my surname after marriage .

So ladies if it wasn't a thing, would you take your husband's name after marriage?

some men don't care I know lots of people that are married for years without changing name. the problem is when you want to travel out with your kid(s) I know someone that her visa application was turndown because her name and that of the kids are different.

she is supportive, that's good, God bless her. You guys can be friends, I read something back then that people shouldn't marry out of pity.

Medianna:
Make we do gather plenty money so that our husband will not be looking for second wife because of money.
God Abeg oo

very funny....you no well oooo