₦airaland Forum

Not really!! I like cutting everyone some slack and giving them a benefit of the doubt!!

But when you prove you don't want or deserve the fair chance i'm trying to offer, then yes i'll treat you the way is see you Cos you indirectly said that's the way you want to be treated


You can take a horse to the stream, but you cannot force it to drink!!

@ Chumakk

Great point you got there Some marriages are just on paper and in public, when they get home at the end of the day, they lack the necessities to be called a family

A paper marriage is one where the partners are not partners, but rather one party is more of a slave to the other one, there's no understanding, no oneness and they're not even in the least free with each other

Its just like saying there's a difference between "a house" and a"a home", som are yet to acknowledge that

IBDat:
LMFAO - Joka!

Where is yo own pic - u dey ask fine ladies to bid for commodity dey never see yet

My dear, never mind, we don't need to see his pic., he's already confirmed his own "wowoness". Let me let you in on something

THere's this policy (well not practised by all) that says that wowo + wowo = chei (so he definitely needs a pretty girl to avoid the "chei" outcome lol)

Else why would someone with all those qualities he listed be putting himself on sale, even a car doesn't go that cheap

WHATEVER Mr. poster!! whatever!!

Btw, i think you shoud sign in in the commercials department, you're doing a great job advertising yourself

Heaven9 _{yea right} . . LOL, well the lizard did say that when it falls down from a height and no one congratulates it on its bravery, it'll nod its head to acknowledge itself

Keep up the good work!! Good samarithan lmao

Zandra1:
Cute ass, that means that u are in Chioma Ezejideaku's set? Am I right? I left the school in December of 2002.

You're so so right

Zandra1:
Wait, cute-ass, the SP in Onyinye Osigwe's set was Ifunanya Eke and the other DSP was Ezinne Ezeamalie (don't know if the spelling is right). But I can't remember Onyinye's best friend and am guessing ure from Nnewi cause thats where she's from. My town is very very close to Nnewi and is a very rich town at that. Give me more clues

Yes, Ifunany Eke, and Ezinne. How  could my always-good-at-functioning retentive memory be playing such a fast one on me, when its my set we're talking about

You'r doing real great darling, and from your explanations, if you left in 2002, and i graduated in 2001, the you definitely know who i am

Think of the utility prefects, we were three. Ngozi (can't remember her surname, but she was Ifunanya Eke's best friend), think of the other two. And now you even get to tell me if i was a wicked one lol

No i'm not from Nnewi but you're right, Onyinye is!

Love44:
I am sick and tired of people banning actors and actresses any how. I just wish that this industry will crash.

GOD FORBID

IBDat:
@cute-ass - u really have a way with words - do u write columns for a living?

LOL . . no ooh!

Vitastraka:
Pure Nonsense!

Darling you make me laugh with that statement of yours. IF she is banned, then i'm sure its that same attitude that you're exuding right now that got her there.

Things you know you have little or nothing to say about, pay your dues like the rest She thought herself too big to?? well see where it landed her, and there's nothing you and i, or anybody can do about it
Btw there were other offence, as stated by "SUN"

those who live in glass houses do not throw stones!

Well dear lets get some facts straight I'll only tell someone to wait if they loved the party proposing!

missparker:
He is younger than you 2years apart but you are confused if you truly love him .

Right now, from where i'm standing the age is not the issue here, but the highlighted.
You're confused?? what's the use of waiting if you're heart is not totally with him??now that does not sound promising at all

I advice you do first things first, sort yourself, search your heart, do you think he's someone you can see spending the rest of your life with??

If at the end of the day, the answer is "YES" then dearie let "two years" not draw you back. What if you let him go, and you never find someone older than yourself who startles you sweetly the way he does?? For some, the chance of true love comes but once. Are you ready to risk that?? If you know you love, cherish understand and respect this guy as you would have done to someone older, then let the sky be the limit to your relationship .

As for being blacks, its of no consequence, i've seen millions do the same, some end up miserable, while some end up happy as ever. Everything in life bears a 50/50 chance!

Myself?? No i can't see myself dating somone younger than myself, but i'll not dare say "NEVER" because i have to be in the situation to know what i'd have done. I know there are a 1001 things i've said "never" to in the past which i can't boast of having kept . And for the records, i wish you well, so if the age gap was appauling (as in too much) i'd have adviced you differently.

BUT

If after giving it some thoughts, and you can't see him as your potensial husband, the dear please walk!!

_{i checked your profile, and your age is no where to be found. Will really help a great deal if we knew}

I'm at work now, but when i get home no jupiter will hold me back

Genny is my girl, infact i'm her no.1 fan , and the person behind me is many points afar lol

@ young babe; thanks in advance girl!!!

Lets be realistic peeps . .  

Now of course, we all want you to court her, who wouldn't?

But just for a jiffy, while we're being realistic lets be practical too (which is what i think anabell was trying to do)

For you to really "court" her, you'll have to travel down to naija and spend at least 3-6 months with her. Experience what day to day life is like for the both of you or invite her to the Uk and spend sometime with her there. Now our dearest poster, are you ready to do either one of those?? We can't say "court her, court her" when we know its almost practically impossible due to their living conditions??

Now before you start smiling, remember this; a girl who is bent/determined on achieveing something, be it for the good reasons or not, will put up her best behaviour whether its an act or her real self

You see what i've always believed?? anybody you falls in love with someone, while you're abroad (i mean and the person is in Nigeria, Cameroun, etc.), the chances of you knowing their true selves is 50:50 because its either they're acting or they're not!!

Anabell darl. please allow me

anabell:
u don't have to be with someone all d time to court , if u want to no other tin about her u could tell your friends or your peaple to check her out for you

Now that might be your one and only resort. I'm not saying you should hire detectives, but ask friends, relations, even your parents sef, to watch her closely.

_{I hate to do this to a fellow "eve" but hey if she's clean, i know "my girl" will pull through, i hope she does}

One thing she cannot hide is who she is behind you, esp. when she isn't farmiliar with those doing the "project".
The people you put on it should not, i mean should not know of each other, that is to assure accurate details free for manipulations or jealousy. After you've heard from two parties and their answers are not rhyming, go for another two. This is a sacrifice you have to pay to get the best .

I'll also advice you sincerely to put it into prayers too, remeber God starts working when the power of man has failed, and to those He loves, he reveals things . With God by your side, you'll get the answer you've long been waiting for.

And for that time being, do your courting on phone (i'll choose to believe that before you asked her for her number, and went ahead to call her, you saw something strikingly likeable in her, she stood out somewhat??), you've seen her, she's seen you so its not totally a blind date. When you get down to naija, spend some time with her, If the "detectives" find her unwanting, then go get your woman

Best of luck bro!!!! (i'll be cheering for you to get your "happily ever after" ending)

Seun:
It is called "aging".

Dear, there's a big difference between "aging" and "calamity", her situation's got nothing to do with the first mentioned

Didn't you notice the list of her "drug and crack routine", or you want to tell me that seeing demons is a part of "aging" too lol, you're too funny!!!

If misery, pepertual soul torture and mind wrecking experiences is the definition of "aging", please raise your hands those who want to age??

adeboo:
Sometimes there are people that arent compatible - thats what i have experienced sha.

Well i agree with you totally on the "incompartibility" theory (but to say that birth stars are to blame is what i find amusing), bcause that doesn't mean someone with the same star as that of the person you just broke up with can't be your life-time partner??

olabosun:
We africans believe all there & it works .my brother if u're told dnt Jst try marrying her because it's better not 2 be said.when u hear it.it will happen.this is africa my man.powers of our four fathers still lives.

*sighs in disbelief of what this member had to stay*

And what in the name of broad day light, do our fore fathers have to do with birth stars??


              **Nairaland, you're too much Cos thanks to you, i can boast of having met all category of people**

Now i understand what the author meant by[b] "from grace to grass" [/b]

This is one of the saddest stories ever, Whitney Houston, a known legend of her time, who could ever guess that this was what would become of her?? Sad, very sad. How art thy might fallen ; oh Isreal!!

I hope its not yet too late for her, that she hasn't hit the bottom of no return, she can still make it with the right zeal Cos a wise man once said:

Its not the falling of a man thta determines his downfall, but if he rises back to his feet or not. I hope she rises

Zandra1:
Cute ass that means that u are in Nkiru's(the SP and forgot her last name; and also Chika Obichukwu's)set. I know those from that set but I can't remember the utility prefects.

Actually dear on the contrary, i was in the set right behind them But its funny though Cos Chika Obichukwu was my closest friend in the set apart from the Chinenye i was serving at the time . .lol, those were the days when "fork and knife" were one of the "must haves" and a "berrette" was so so necessary for tuesdays and fridays lol

I don't even know where my memory has gone to, because i can't remember the senior prefect of my year and come to think that the deputy senior prefect (Onyinye Osigwe) whom she shared the senior prefects' room with was my best friend I have to ask Onyinye about that the next time we talk But there, you got your clue!!

Zandra1:
and I really hope ure not among those us the junior ones then termed as being wicked . I will keep my fingers crossed.

Well i'm not sure you got the chance to know if i was among the wicked ones or not, if you left when you said you did. But when you've passed this little "guess who i am" game of ours, i'm sure you'll be able to tell if i had the potencial of being one of them

I love this game, and looking forward to knowing who you are too. Btw i was in House1(in house 4 at the beginning, but then houses where changed), and the house prefect of my set who also happened to be my house neighbour was Ifeoma Ifeandu

gaylord:
y are all this girls kind of feeling guilty

Its not a matter of feeling guilty, a clear concience fears no accusation but a matter of feeling belittled and insulted

But you know what?? its cool, can see you guys are bent on making it a "men's world", so i'll find the exit and leave you guys at it. Have fun!!!

I'll ask him if his name is Roy?

that was a cute one . . the kind i know that God in his infinite mercy will grant me . AMEN ooh !!

IBDat:
Not that i'm advocating such behaviours, but it is something that you'll easily pick-up in a bar at any-point. Whats to say that although the relationship started off as a lie it won't blossom into a longterm honest one? It's just a key to get through the grilled door.

Well dear, if you say so. Isn't it the master talking??

And don't get our words wrong or twisted either, God forbid me say that some girls are not the type you mentioned, but why measure all with the same rope. I talk for no other person than myself, i know who i am and what i'm good for, and i know most of my sisters feel the same

Now its sad and unfair if we should all be tagged with the same label , don't you think??

Afterall you sid something about settling, now tell me if itisn't among the good fishes you'll be making your pick?? then do then them the right of giving honour to whom honour is due!!

At least you could have provided two lists, one for each category

@ beelki

darling you did the right thing in the wrong way
You should definitely have consulted nairaland or some good friends before making such a quick step point of correction, you don't ask a guy if he'll marry you, it makes you seem desperate, you tell the guy that you don't know if you can continue with the relationship. Obviously he'll want to know why, then you go "well, age waits for no man, so sooner or later i'll have to find someone that i'll settle down with and create a family" My dear, with that believe me, you'll get an answer, if not orally, his expression will be doing some

If the guy was interested in you, he'll fight to keep you, but when you ask it the way you did, it'll seem he was your "last busstop" and even if he had intended to, he might start playing the good old "come and get me" game

Well dear, looking at your profile you're 28, which makes me guess you were 22 when you started dating,

Some mentioned maybe he's not ready for marriage yet, well honey that's not good enough, a guy that has known you for 6yrs and hasn't made up his mind whether you're his dream-girl package or not is wasting your time. When will he finally be ready?? when you're all old and grey?? A BIG LIE!!
Depending on the age of the partners, at the age of 22, when you've dated a guy for 2-3 years and he's not doing some visit to a gold-smith for an assurance of committment, then you should be out of the door

If you love him that much, then lets give him a benefit of the doubt, You walk to his house, when you get in, without any about-bush beating, ask him outrightly; "dearie, what's it going to be", if there's something holding him back, thenlet him open upto you. You need some rock to support yourself on. Any hesitation fromhis side should be your $2 million dollar answerWalk out the door and never regret a moment, its not like you could have dragged him to the alter at gun-point?? All you did, you did in the name of love . .

Some mentioned love being one thing and marriage being another, well if after all this while he hasn't seen the damsel in you, then he should hit the toilet . And don't feel sorry for yourself, or think of him as a loss, darling if after 6yrs he couldn't acknowledge you, then he won't in ages,

Make yourself ready for that one that will value your being, i don't mean you should jump into a new relationship immediately, because we wouldn't want a rebound teatment, would we?? But just have an open mind and know that "your own" can be right behind the corner. Good luck hun!!!

chiegemba:
@IBDat; hmmm . . . . . . glad 2 know u've turned a new leaf though. But am still not certain that every/all black girls fall 4 that!

Thats just the sad thing dear, nothing pisses me off like generalization, and if you know a strategy is not a direction to a good world, why give it out at all

chiegemba:
@cute-ass; am fine thanks! girl every min. hilarious and unbelievable topic springs up!

thats nairaland for you, like i tell people just get your belts tighthened, Cos the ride is a long and unpredictable one

I'm happy to hear you're fine

spoilt:
one man, one wife (with or without kids) and no nosey interlopers called in-laws.

Of course not!! those can take their own seats in the definition of extended famiy

gaylord:
cute ass, you should be slleeping by now in norway, guys are trying to say realities,so if you re not game please go and sleep
howz weather in oslo anyway??

realities?? well if you say so afterall I'm not a guy, so how can "little me" know of the essential realities right?? I thought so too (i just hate it when girls are mistaken for commodities, that you just pay for and pick one, not fair )

Well Norway is just fine, i live in Hammerfest, and sadly as it might sound, its still freezing cold can't wait to move in summer!!

And yes, i'll be in bed in a jiffy

Btw good luck in your realization of realities!!

OOh darling, sorry i didn't run into your thread yeasterday to give you all my welcome in love, but not to worry, i'm here now. Better late than never

Please you're so so welcome to nairaland eeh . . have as much fun as you self please, there's more than enough to go around

Believe me this is a ride you'll not forget in a long while, [b]but [/b]beware of joy-ruiners

eeeeeeennnnnnnjjjjjjjjoooooooyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!

chiegemba:
@IBDat; nice 1. How many have u gotten through that strategy?

I'm sure he's gotten loads . . But true love?? I doubt it big time

chiegemba:
@cute-ass; hi, how r u doin?

Sweetheart i'm lovely, thanks for asking . You??

IBDat:
Black girls is eazy - dress fly, cash in yo pocket n LIES, LIES, LIES.

@ topic

while some are busy planning their lives and future prospects, some unfortunate brain-washed ones are wasting their time on irrelevant stuff

how to toast black girls?? are we some sort of dish that each can get a recipe copy or something??

whatever happened to going with the flow, afterall every girl is different in her own little but unique way

Well my social studies text book and teacher in primary school defined nuclear family and i quote the text book as vividly as i remember it though

A nuclear family can be defined as a family made up of one man, one wife and their children (no jara wives and kids )

How nice and lovely

You mind telling us who they are? lol, my curiousity is taking the better part of me

Makamiyaki:
@cute-ass
thanks ma sista 4 da encouragin words. looks like u're the only one who's shown concern so far, I appreciate

@ Dupebaby!!

I feel so sorry for you being caught up in the middle, i did say in my post earlier, that in as much as secrets should not be kept in a relationship, somethings are better left unsaid

But there's no point in saying i told you so, Cos the deed is already done, its all going to be your word against his which is a difficult place to be without proof, just live and hope that the truth will come out, it always has a way of doing so you know.

I just hope your relationship with your boyfriend hasn't been washed down the drain before it happens, even if it has, do not blame yourself Cos you did what you felt was right to save your ass, and if your boyfriend chose to take his friend's side over yours, then that might be some food for thought for you
why on earth would he think you just made the story up? if he doesn't give you more credit than that,hmmmm