₦airaland Forum

bellong:
TV01,

Thanks for the summary. So house chores is the reason for all the epistles and big grammar..

This is 21st century, if any can't afford machines, be sure to marry someone who is not opposed to helping with it. Its that simple.

NashvilleTN, welcome back from Sorbibor.. How was detention camp?

#WhileYouWereGone, Bukatyne lamented of your disappearance. Many people disappeared with you and too many frauds bedevilled the auto section..

@Damiso, you need blood?

It is why I warned you not to evade the monthly sacrifice. I hope the gods are not sucking it in lieu of the sacrifice...

Awon aye..they are jealousing me

God pass them

@grammar real big one.

My fitness people I just dey taya o so weak and my doctor says I should chill on running for a bit did not go to work cos am sooo weak and doctor says am severely anaemic. Also told me to start eating red meat again.

Not a happy bunny. I have a target this month but I guess health is wealth

Kimoni and Edwife una no dey hear word

Nashville welcome back.

Coach TV01 been severely anaemic (even with me taking iron tablets and eating loads of greens ) my Gp has called for some more blood work yesterday. He however is insistig that I start eating red meat again (completely cut of my diet and eat chicken/turkey/fish)

What are the lean cuts?

ayolight:
gudevening everyone. Light is doing fyn tday. she eat little nd smiles tday. I'm so happy. tnk u so much everyone.

Thank God. Hope you are ok too I am sure that smile lit up your day

It is well with her and your family by His Grace

Sagamite:
As for with your kids, my philosophy is:

- Give your child everything they need but a little of of what they want. Most of what they want, they have to earn somehow.

- Let your kids know that despite the fact that you are friendly and can joke with them, you are their boss (if not even their God as long as they are young). I don't do all that Best Friend with your kids shyt. That said, give them the freedom to explore things that interest them that you might not particularly agree with (only if they show some level of proficiency in this thing). I can joke and laugh with my kids all day, but when I decide to be stern and serious, they have to know who the Boss is.

- Never rule out smacking and corporal punishment. It must be part of the repertoire of tools available if you need it. That said, it should be last or the most deserved resort. You might actually even have kids you never need to smack. Smacking kids most of the time is madness, saying you will never smack your kids is madness.

A lot of the modern, "progressive" child-rearing is pathetic.

I really agree with children recognising the difference between being friendly and being their friend.

I dont want to be my children's 'friend' in the true sense of the word 'friend'. I want to be a friendly parent that they can feel comfortable sharing their issues with ,talking to but there has to be that 'parent' boundary that can never be crossed.

babygirlfl:
Ladies is a new school year now for kids. What would you/ do you /did you do for your kids and why.

Packed lunch or school lunch.


Freecocoa, Naijababe; damiso; cococandy; tearoses; Ewuro4; bukatyne; EfemenaXY; Idowuogbo; salsera; chillisauce ; sheybebaby any and other person.

At the moment we do school dinners. The school dinners in my borough is really good as well and my daughter's school is signed up to a healthy school programmes. No other drinks but water and milk and the only snacks are fruit and veg. You can inform them if your child has allergies.

Packed lunches get monotonous sometimes especially with having to store or keep at the right temperature etc so one is sometimes limited to sandwiches and even that sef you can't use certain fillings.

I know someone who used to prepare her children's lunch to drop at the school at 11.50 so their own food too can be hot like the others.Obviously I don't have the luxury of that as I work full time and even if I did I know myself I would get fed up.

Ewuro4:
Talking during mealtimes (Tell me about it)

Interrupted sleep times (Lord have mercy)

Spicy meals to Mild

Vehicle of choice (finally compromised)

Choice of music (has to be solo & in our bedroom, the central stereo is blasting Casting Crown now)

But at the end of the day, I think they're worth the sacrifice. After all Family are all we have and live for.

So it's not only in my house that I have pepper less I now make my own roast chicken seperately

bukatyne:
Hmmmmm

It is clearly to me now

The responsibilities are the basics. The jara are the expectations.

I like babygirlfl's line that we need to be happy to appreciate our spouse's efforts to make us happy.

Appreciation is also extremely important. I always thanked my parents when they paid my fees etc. Ditto hubby for every little thing he does.

I also agree with damiso's managing expectations.

Really wanted to clear it because of NL's mantra to wives of cheating husbands... Make yourself happy; ignore him; don't your happiness on him bla bla

Cc cococandy, damiso.

I get what you were trying to understand now babygirlfl has even even explained it better than I tried to.

Me I cried o not just cried sef wept

I guess cos I was relocating and would get see my family less.

ayolight:
tnks u everyone. Light is responding to treatmet though the cough is still dia nd she is just trying ti eat little food. but she is not as weak as before. tnk u so much everyone that has contributed o her recovery.

Praise God I am so happy to hear that. It is well with you dear you too try catch a little rest when she is resting cos I know how emotionally and physically draining it is to care for sick child.if she sleeps a bit during the day you too lay down for a bit

God bless your mutter. May the almighty reward your labour of love. I am praying that something good will come out of all your hard work.

bukatyne:
How will you balance responsibility and expectations?

E.g.: A parent should sponsor his/her ward into school etc.

Cc: cococandy, sagamite, babygirlfl

When I say expectations, I mean things that are extra . I don't even know how to explain it so it does not look like its saying the other person has no responsibilities.

Of course a parent should sponsor his or her ward in school but managing expectations in that sense means that i would be fine with an Acer laptop for my coursework even though all my friends have a MacBook.If I get a MacBook I would be very happy and appreciate it but I won't view it as something that I am entitled to.

Like cococandy said its not saying the other person is free to act anyhow. Maybe I should use word 'managing expectations ' rather than not 'having any expectations'.

Idowuogbo:
Ehen? Omo queen....posh lomo!

No be posh o . I think Na all this UK sardines or maybe Na the John West I dey buy.

Dat Na my standard food for University. Or agege bread and agoyin beans choi oo lala hot from bakery like Kimoni said

Emi posh ke? I just fit blend for all settings. Put pako settings I blend put posh setting I go try blend.as my sister Will say we were raised ajekpabut

Ewuro4:
Lol.. I swap most Kate spade and pumps with clutch too (but won't even fit my phone, spray money & wallet so what's the point?) .. I'm just more of original owanbe type. The whole nine yards

But I'm starting to loosen up and open to try your styles.

Yaaay

But you are right sha those clutch no fit take past phone and key I have this little brown bag that what i put my miniature lipstick case/tissues/money/cards in .if you abuse me I no send you i need my essentials.

Sagamite:
Now this is the attitude that will make me happy as a man and spur me to want to be giving more and doing more for her.

Not some ediot that would look at me and be fuming that I should live my life trying to make her happy and it is her birthright.

What I would not like though, just like your husband, is the repeated "thank yous". I don't even need or look for one from girls. Just the body-language and smile of appreciation is enough. Thank yous are just a bit too embarassing especially after it is said more than once, you become speechless and don't know how to respond anymore.

I know that now. I have found more 'interesting ' ways to say thank you

Ewuro4:
Already worn and on the shelve

I have a an idea of your styles ...

Nice bag but e no enter owambe o. Let me go and look for owambe style.

This is more owambe

Idowuogbo:
I'm stalking you....i saw buredi agege

Ok bye!!

Kimoni what idowu saw

No mind me jare it's allowed.

For some odd reason I can't stomach sardines again. I feel like throwing up even with just the smell :- and I used to eat it in naija .

I

tearoses:
Ewuro the problem with these shoes is that the set sells for N5000 in Gbagi market in Ibadan (althogh the heel will fall off the first step you take to walk to the high table)

That red one I have seen many variations of . . Aunty come and buy, Aunty come and buy original shoe naw . . . E wa na, Ewa wo . . aunty . .aunty . .mummmy e waaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Awon chinese have ruined the italian shoe market. There is one shop in Shoredich that sells that red one for £35 shoe and bag.

Something else

They are actually from Thailand (I know cos my mum is an importer )

The Chinese just joined the market

Kimoni:
Opellllaaaaa, are you a winsh ni?

Pls bring your eyes lemme show you sontin

Agege bread and sardine(pls don't show anybody esp Chilli biko)

No energy to cook nada this morning. Walahi agege bread is the best :

I catch you

Sagamite:
They are being painted and taught a perfect world.

A world where they are the kings and queens and everything should revolve around them.

A world where they are the most beautiful thing ever.

A world where they have all the rights but no responsibilities.

A world where parents must shower them with presents and toys at Xmas, birthday and other parts of the year.

A world where they can be instant celebrities tomorrow and be seen as fabulous.

Why?

Because they are special just by the virtue of them being who they are and existing as kids.

And when all these does not come through, and is unlikely to, as they grow up, they are not attaining their aspirations and expectations.

In Nigeria, kids know they are lucky to be alive, lucky to have something to eat tonight, lucky to go to school, lucky to get a job, lucky to etc.

This is often emphasised with the repeated social pressures to go and thank some imaginary Superfly, All-powerful God for these luck.

So Nigerian kids have little expectations and see most things as a bonus to breathing.

What most people don't realise and I have observed from my studying life is that virtually EVERYTHING that upsets you is hinged on "expectations not being met".

If you are expecting something to happen, you are less likely to be upset when it happens. The more certainty you attribute to it happening, the less it will pain you.

Being aware of that has made me a very happy man.

You are very right .

One of the key things that leads to unhappiness is expectations. I try to manage my expectations and not put people into a box so to speak on what I feel they 'should' do for me. It's a trait I inherited from my father and my mum really reminds me of it 'you are definitely your fathers daughter'. I know no one is truly ever self reliant but I really view most things that anyone gives me as gift and not something I should take for granted.

I will give an example. I was unemployed for a while and my husband was taking care of ALL(ok most) the big ticket bills. I wanted to do a course and I was saving towards it.One day my husband told me that he had put some money into my account and I should go ahead to pay for it. I was soooo happy and i kept saying thank you in short I told everyone to thank him for me. He said I was embarassing me with the thank yous and that if he did not as my husband who should? I got his point but in my head I was already feeling I am the one who wants to do a course, as it is he is more or less footing my bills(ok he lives in the house as well but if was not married won't I support myself) so I really did not in my head think he HAD to do it . I honestly would not have resented him not paying those fees.

I know people who will say its his responsibility as doing the course could increase my earning potential and husbands are meant to help their wives grow. That is true also but sincerely and I am not being insincere here I did not feel entitled to those fees just cos he is my husband. I was happy that he helped out but I also would not have been unhappy if he did not.

cococandy:
Hahaha. There may be some truth to that.

How else would you describe the willingness to party and owambe and have fun in the face of collapsing infrastructure and low standard of living?

Maybe as a way of escaping reality and just living in the moment ? Perhaps? am just aloud here. Because on the flip side some countries/people with high standard of living and standard infrastructure are said to be miserable. I read a survey that said UK children are one of the unhappiest children in the world (one can't even keep up with all these research). Factors like bullying,peer pressure were taken into consideration and this might not be an issue for a child facing other challenges like food,access to education etc.

That's why I said Happiness is such s subjective term and a happy marriage meab different things to different people. Some people can NEVER be happy in a marriage with financial challenges while some couples tend to even come out stronger and closer in those same challenges.

I still had that argument with my mum this morning and she said I am beggining to think like a Brit.quit expecting too much from people if they pull through pleasant surprise. This does not mean that I don't expect my husband to treat me well but he is not the sole source of my happiness. Even my children are not.

tearoses:
Oga Bellong We are reasonable people . . so only things that you can afford
BTW what do I owe
If anything you are all owing me
No one has paid their dues this year


Damiso thank you . . .

You are welcome.

We owe Chaircover and since she is nowhere to be found I guess we have to appoint another registrar abi is it treasurer.

Kimoni:
I know right, dem own no pass ikebe and bweast

No mind dem

cococandy:
I think it's relative.

Depends on you as a person, where you're coming from and what your expectations were. If you find your life after marriage to be better because of the kind of person you married and how well they fit your ideas of a good spouse. You will be happy with your marriage.

Maybe because I don't expect too much from people. Always have been like that since I was a kid, I find I'm very easy to please. So I cross from contentment to happiness relatively easy.

I think that's why they say happiness is a choice. As I don't expect too much from a partner just that he respects and is faithful to me, and of course be a responsible partner. I think I've made the decision to be happy without realizing it.

I don't think any other garnish would make it better than the basics being right.

People who end up disappointed after marriage are usually so because their expectations haven't been met and in some cases it's because they expect too much.

Like the marriage was supposed to solve all the problems in the other spheres of their life.

Totally totally agree with this. Describes my outlook to life and marriage in general.

I think placing the burden of your 'happiness' on another person's shoulders is such an enormous ask for anyone. To me sef that term 'I am happy' is so subjective.

I heard there is a institute that researches happiness in the UK Sebi there was even a research that said Nigerians are one of the 'happiest' people in the world.

I

tearoses:
No owambe today nl?

I have a party. Colour code is gold and chocolate brown

I need serious advise cos these 2 colours dont really compliment each other.

I have a brown lace dress. Should I still tie the gold gele? . . or should I just tie a colour that I feel compliments the brown such as orange. I am also dark so bright colours fit me better.

What d'all think?

Sambarry bo si bi o!
Damiso iwo da?

Gold and chocolate is too dull go for the Orange

That was my wedding colour burnt orange and brown with some gold.

Like this that's my mama and her friends at my wedding

Kimoni:
Opella, just thought of you now, you've been kinda scarce. Trust you are much better now. Kisses to you LO.

Efemenaxy - the masquerade that comes out only on weekends pls rest well o

Damiso - you have become the fitness winsh...consistent and determined. Kudos

As for moi, I took things really slow when everyone that saw me was asking if I was just recovering recovering from what kwa??

but I will maintain my flat tummy with whatever it takes. It took me so long to achieve it and everyone is asking for my secret on that levels

I remember the days I used to disturb the house on how to burn the lower belly fat **wheww**

Opella's "then and now" pics really motivated me

Me ke fitness winch I dey follow behind o . You did not see gaps on the graph ni. That's why I am taking on challenges and maybe looking to train towards a marathon or something so I can stay motivated.

Me sef am getting all those talks o . I have people actually begging me to stop that it's ok now but I have a target.' I have had its enough now ''you will look sick ''you will look funny ''you won't be pretty again' but I am doing this for me. And it's a lifestyle change so they will all get used to seeing a slimmer version of me.my husband own in all of it is 'abeg that ikebe must not become flat '

EfemenaXY:
Lol!

You're really getting into this, aren't you? Well done!

Today's Saturday, household's still asleep. Lemme hit the mat for my sit-ups / lower abs workout, then go for an hour's run. Then hopefully, make it on time for my 9:00 a.m swim class.

Good morning my fellow fitness sisters! (and brothers)

Good morning to you too

I am o I think the running bug has caught me simply because I see that's the fastest way to burn calories all those other work outs gosh it takes long man and there is no other added therapeutic effect of being outdoors with you and your thoughts.running is not just helping me physically, it's also helping me mentally and God knows how many things I have been able to check or think through while out running.


I need challenges to keep me motivated cos I know myself if I have nothing to look forward to I will not remain motivated.

ayolight:
madam damiso ve called d doc at ife, he said we shud take her to d nearest hospital wia Dey can stabilize her like u said. so I called dat our doc that operates a private hospital he said he ll see her by 4pm tday. so I ll take her dia den. tnk u so much ma.
madam tearoses God bless u, my MIL was here on Sunday, cos my mum calld her, she saw d situation of things and she left dat Sunday, not until Wednesday dat she called. though I dnt pik d call sha. my parents are trying, my mum is just recovering frm hysteretomy or whatever Dey calld it wen we got d news of my baby condition. so she is very rich for nw, but yet still trying her best.
some also transfer to my acc yesternit, God bless u too.

That's great It is well. Hugs and kisses

Just received confirmation it's been done.

So please try to get her medical attention ASAP.

Ayolight please take her to the hospital ASAP I have made a transfer into your account. As soon as my money transfer people confirm I will let you know when to withdraw.meanwhile like tearoses said don't feel bad about asking your parents she is their grandchild. Please just see a medical professional to at least stabilise her for now pending the India or surgery

It is well with you and Light. I pray that Lord rests His healing touch on her

Please be strong for her she needs you so much now.

I am really getting better at this running thing.see my stats for August. Lost 3kg in August.

Thinking of signing up for race for life next year lets see how it goes.

*sighs* don't know how I will fit in my early morning runs this dark winter nights.

Nice pictures jamesdman

Chilli that looks super Delish the seafood yummy