₦airaland Forum

That's what I'd do!

@ Confilass, most men think with their d1cks that is why they do most of the shit they do.

@ OP, my darling, I feel your pain! I cannot fully understand what you and your family went through because I had an ever present Dad that never let us lack. I thank God you and ur family are doing ok but my love you need to free yourself from this hate. Free yourself because you are hurting yourself with this passion hate. I'm not saying let the man into ur life or come and live with you, but pls don't hate him so much. I'm no bible thumper but it says to honour your father and mother. It says to forgive. It takes time my dear but free yourself from anger. Take it one day @ a time, one step @ a time,and please ask God for the strenght to forgive him. Not for him, but for you, because there is no salvation without forgiveness. God loves you, and he loves your father too, despite all he has done!

Op, I understand you too well! My own obsession was white powder. Specifically Tony Montana powder. I would buy the big container and lick everything complete. I used to hide it in my wardrobe underneath all the clothes. I finally stopped when I was preg with my son cos I was worried about hurting him.

Leyelyzo: 29yrs age-difference is not really the issue. And i see no reason why she shouldn't endure and stay those years, hoping for a better marital life with her husband. No marriage is perfect without one form of hitches or the other. Or should she be moving from one man house to the other? Tell me any human that is without any vices, no one is an immaculate. Even she is not perfect herself. Abi she should because of human imperfections refuse to get married or be under the control of any man?

@OP, in as much as divorce is being detested and not advisable, when it get to a point that you think that is the surest escape route out of marital predicament, then go for it. However, mind you, you need to weigh your options very well. Are you ready to be a single mother of four children through out the rest of your life? Or you intend to re-marry in future? If you don't intend to re-marry, have you considered what effects your seperation will have on your children; socially, morally, economically and religiously? [b][/b]If you intend to re-marry, how sure are you that the next man's house you are going will be better of? What effects will that have on your children? Will you have children or not with your new husband, or you think you are too old to bear children?

Sure life can be complex atimes. At this point of your life, you need to be mindful of decisions you take, because not only you will be at the receiving end. Try to see if you can save your marriage. Involve your parents, your husband's people and the elderly ones to talk to your husband. I am sure you must have taken some steps to make sure the marriage works. Try more, you never can tell when the change will come.

However, instead of you dieing in the storm, if you that it has got to that stage, i think you better work out.

Be prayerful to God to lead and guide you aright.

I hate it when ppl talk shit like this. It really drives me crazy. I mean what the H3LL! How can you say the what guarantees the next man will be better? That is the most stewpid thing I have ever heard. For her 12 year old son to ask her to leave the man shows how bad the situation is. It is safer for her and her kids to be free of the bastard.

@ OP, madam you tried. 12 yrs! I for don poison the bastard tey tey!

I just wasted 2 mins of my life reading and replying this sh*t

I hate to be the one to break it to you op, but my dear your husband is cheating on you. He doesn't want you to get to close so you don't find out. You need to give him less room to do that lest you find urself out on you a**. First and most important, pls move back into your bedroom. The intimacy of sleeping together is key to getting the romance back. Cook for him, go out with him, go to the movies, do dinner, send your daughter to grandma's and have s** all over the house. Be spontaneaus. The best part of the marriage is yet to come.

I so respect men who respect their wives and gf.

My advice, let him know that you know what's up and ask him plainly if he wants her or you.  You cannot compromise. Then call the said ex and let her know what her actions are causing issues and let her know ur hubby is not for her. If she no tree, then do what I did. Tell everyone she knows she is a slut. Hack into her fb,  post on her wall she is a slut. Print fliers and share it in her office and just generally make her life hell. She will back off, I can assure you.

@mobinga,DAMN!

@OP, you better send her away before yawa gas!

My husband didn't tell me happy birthday ONCE, I didn't talk to him for a week and I moved out of d bedroom. Don't Ever forget a birthday because it is a big deal.

Impotent or infertile? Impotent, no, infertile yes.

@mutter I am not going to fight her, I'm going to BEAT her. Understand the difference. My kids are babies they would never know. Besides how do you expect me to keep quiet? When my driver saw them somewhere and confronted her she said and I quote "If you like go and tell his wife dem go just sack you, besides she no fit do anything". I got this info today. I'm sorry o, but i cannot leave her alone. She will know that I can do something.

Ok lets get this clear, I am not staying for my children, I am staying for myself. I know that there are ups and downs and that I have had a lot of downs but I believe in giving another chance because frankly the man has begged me tire for the last four weeks. I dont now how much longer I am going to be angry for. My husbands and I are good friends and honestly things were good before I found out who she was (because I dont let things die). I know a lot of shit has gone down and we have both been unhappy but I'm looking to the future to be better. Most older ppl I asked say the first few years of marriage is the hardest. However, I am taking a few precautions. First I am putting my accounts in order so I can cut out if this happens again. I have my kids passports because when I ja, its out of the country. Third, I wont be so trusting as I have been in the past so I dont get so hurt anymore but, I believe this too will pass.
I know there are a lot of advocates for divorce but, divorce is also a very difficult and painful process that should not be taken lightly. I know he has seen all the pain he caused because he has begged me to forgive and we decided to hold each other accountable. I even thot of revenge sex but, I refuse to sin against my body just for revenge. However, I have decided to whoop that bitches ass and report her to her hubby. I have concluded plans, I know where she works now and where she lives(i do very good research even payin ppl to find things out. I am going with my passe to beat her down because no one insults me.
Thank you for all you advice, I appreciate and pls stop cussing each other out. The problem with women is self hate, we ae always fighting and sleeping with each others man. Guys dont do that, only ladies. Pls lets be more loving and build each other up rather than hurt and tear down.

@ mutter, first of all, an emotional relationship doesnt not mean they were in love. There were phone calls and text messages, you know the initial toasting stage. Second took four months off to have a baby, I'm sorry but try as hard as we did, the baby just had to come out and at that point, I honestly believed that things were fine because we werent having any issues about her. Third, we had serious emotion as I said I was pregnant so it meant we were doing it, you get me. No one is ever under any obligation to stay with anyone for any reason. I asked if he wanted me to leave when it started and he begged me not to go so I'm guessing he wanted to eat his cake and have it. I have always loved and NEVER tried to control anyone, like I said and he said, it was a difficult time and he let things get out of hand (like he said). Note that the relationship has been over for almost a year but I just found out WHO it was at the shock of it being someone that had caused a tiff btw us already was really the shock. So I'm working things out and reading what everyone has to say

@ ronkebp, I'm seriously waiting to hear of when I hear her hubby slept with the maid or her sister, as I hear, Karma's a biatch!

@ chaircover, that was the one that really got to me you know, that she insulted me. He claims he had a long talk with her about it saying that no matter what it was going on btw them she had no right to insult me. But I say, how can you tell her not to insult me when you are doing the same? For me it is not about sorry because you can say sorry tire. Right now we are on probation and he knows it. Its not about creative ways to hide because I am very very good at finding stuff out, if I put my mind to it. And I never let anyone crawl over me , far from it. He just never thot I would find out because he thot he covered his tracks so well. Right now, I'm playing a wait and see game, he claims he has told me everything but I'm waiting to see. And as for the girl, she thinks she has gotten away with it, but she doesnt know who I am. If you like, move to Kafanchan, I will get you.

Why do you men behave like goats like this ehn ? How do you expect her to respect you?

As much as I want to forgive, it is really hard. We had a very long conversation about it all and he discussed from the root to the tip of the matter. The truth is, I dont know what to believe anymore. I dont even believe he is no longer in contact with her. And yes andromida you are right, I feel he took her side over mine although he claims he just didnt want any confrontation btw us that she had already told him she was leaving so he just wanted her to leave without thinking I would ever find out. Unfortunately I found out about a day too late to attack her. I asked him to leave my house and he did for a few days,but we have 2 children, and they love their father. I know I owe it to them to give it another shot but I've told him, this is the last time. We have been on this issue for almost 3 weeks and I cannot go through this kind of drama anymore. I have told his mum and brothers, everyone is disappointed because they know the said female, told my family so they wont be surprised if I leave him. If anyone one knows any creative ways to get back at d heifer for insulting me, please let me know.

My husband cheated on me with this lady that works for him. I first noticed in 2009 that he was making , receiving calls that he was clearly hiding from me. I confronted him and after much denials, he admitted that he was in an emotional relationship with some girl he met somewhere. I later found out that it was this girl in the office. I confronted both of them and they both apologized and begged for forgiveness.I decided to take the high road and forgive. Later in 2010, I noticed that the lady in question was giving me attitude when I tried to talk to her and I told him about it. I suspected something was going on but because I had no proof, I kept quiet. I was out of the country for 4 months in 2011 and when I got back, I was scrolling through his old phone and I came across some sexual text messages sent from someone clearly indicating they had been intimate. I confronted him this time really mad and he apologized and gave me some story about it being some girl he met somewhere. I was really really mad but after a while I decided to put it behind me and move on after all Christ forgives. A few months later, I find more messages on his phone to the same number (I'm really good with numbers) about meeting and all that. He kept denying and denying until I did some digging and found out he was sleeping with this same girl from his office! I have been so angry with both of them especially him for doing nothing when I asked him to fire her. I told him she insulted me and he did nothing. They both kept lying and lying and lying to me. He couldn't even break it off when I asked him to. Now he says he has come clean and is asking me to forgive again. How can I believe what? How can I believe that he isn't lying to me again? The worst part, the lady in question quit, and got married. She was engaged all the while and he just let her go without even firing her or letting me get really mad. I am really really mad and I hope I dont do anything I will regret. Everyone is saying forgive and move on but how can I move on with someone I don't trust? He says he would do whatever it takes but I dont even know what it takes. I am so mad at him and her for lying and fooling me for years.

6 weeks. I waited 2 months though.