₦airaland Forum

Crystal83:
MsNelly I did know. I was extremely fascinated and interested in the Nigerian cultures, any African culture in fact. It is just that we have both been trying to fit into each other's worlds maybe and somehow got lost in the middle. Knowing another culture and living it are two very different things. I have not been to Nigeria to see any of it myself. We have many African friends including Nigerians, who are mostly Yoruba's and they have explained things along the way, but the trouble is that what one says is so often opposite what someone else has said. It is like they all have a different view in some ways.

Reminds me of the movie 'Jungle Fever'... no diss, but if you've watched it, you'll get @ wat am saying.

Concerning your post, am not Yoruba, but I've dated outside my region-south (coincidentally,a Yoruba lady) to understand that cultural differences are a factor in such relationships
BUT, there are principles in relationships that cuts across culture, tribe, race etc.

Looking to understand 'the Yoruba man' as a means to solving your relationship issues is tantamount to grasping at straws, might help, but in the long run, u might still sink.

You might need to look honestly and critically@wat d issue truly is. Every problem has a basis. Funny, in relationships, the caramel becomes coated over so thick, we at times lose sight of wat the primary problem was.
Honest, non-judgemental communication is also very important. cannot be over emphasized.

Lastly, one thing I've learnt is , there's no right or wrong in marriage. The 'cost' of being right at times is way dear than it should be. Being together is much more easier.
Am a Christian, so you should know that marriage is a triangle with the man, woman and God @ each point. if there's a disconnect btw the man and woman, there's still a connection to the3rd party..God. make use of it.
All d best...
Divorce shouldn't always be an option...fight f wat u have.

peace.

Idrismusty97:
Waoh! one of those guys said Caesar of "Planet of the Apes" looks better.

Meanwhile...
www.nairaland.com/attachments/2418280_fbimg1431801245228_jpeg10add735bca027d694352b71dacd4541

Looooool..
..but bruv, why evils na...lol

I guess dis has laid to rest the talk about Allison Madueke being demonized cos of d PIB bill.

Someone actually used d cocoa farms n coal as examples to justify the clauses, and I ask; how did d cocoa farms n coal mining depreciate the host communities or degrade their environments
Wasn't it the coal mining that raised d status of Enugu back in d days or d cocoa that made rich d farmers of old?? Can anyone honestly point to ONE host community that the oil exploration has benefited.....and am not talking about 2 lousy luxurious buses.



I guess the agenda is already coming into play.

I blame d south tho....it's time we take our eyes away from the centre and develop our region with whatever comes our way.
Our greatest resource is not the oil but human resource and if we can utilize dis sufficiently, dis b.s won't even matter.



This is so annoying.

alberto2k:
your husband was just Smoking out some stress

Skunk alert.

@o.p..this is kinda difficult really cos I don't think this is something new but an old habit u stumbled on. U confront him and he can either go underground or become open about it. Either way not good.I think the best option might b f u to go clandestine on him. Find out where he keeps his stash. Drop subtle hints/evidences to make him suspicious that you're aware of his habit and then wen d time is right, confront/ talk about it with him.


p.s...Make sure you know where he keeps his stash and that he should never b aware of.

#God's Wisdom

There are several trying periods in the life of a married man (my observations);
*6 months, wen d euphoria of 'being married' is settling down and d 'routine' of marriage is setting in, and* 4-6 yrs, wen he starts wondering 'do I still got it?'.
Not taking anything away from your sex life, but ppl are right wen dey say men luv variety. Not necessarily variety in the sense of multiple sexual partners, but variety in something new to the mix once in a while, cos let's face it , as a friend would say, it's still the normal up & down he'll get out dre, without d emotional factor I may add, while d fact is 'sex only gets beta d longer you're with the same individual'.

@post...I kinda agree wit babyosisi on this one but one tin tho...the focus here seems to be on d 3some chat but I understand there were several more chats than that one and of similar degree of gravity. If so, he's been remorseful doesn't really count. Remorse is remorse but the motivation behind d remorse is wats more important.
U need t make him understand that u Will Not stand f such anymore. advices given on the assumption of 'all men cheat' is unfair. He disrespected u by wat he did and that's fornication by Biblical standards.
Have a sincere and open talk with him, lay your boundaries again (which seems t have gotten blurred with time) and more importantly, let the process of forgiveness (both of yourself and him) begin in your heart by God's Grace

All the best.



sorry f d epistle. sleeplessness is t blame.

I really don't see what's so special about this.
first of all, the number is so small to make any meaningful impact,
secondly, I see churches and social organizations running this sort of of programs All the time, without any acknowledgement most times.

So, pardon me if I don't feel the need to skip and dance shoki@ d news...
Will rather use d energy to continue sipping my banana flavored zobo.

peace.


lol@spongeisback..

You all niggas gats chill.

Am sure there must/will be a medical explanation for the phenomenon...................




in the not so distant future.


Truth be told tho, she kinda got his chin.

Pangea:
If the above was true,
Why was he not prosecuted?
Another indictment on the government of GEJ!
The people rose in anger against the perceived rigging of the election by PDP and you are here blaming the man that was slighted.
All the propaganda of the PDP against Buhari has the architect of the riots could not even result in criminal prosecution.
As the man has said, it's no longer business as usual.
If you are indicted, get ready to pay for your crimes.

Funny post.
Seems peeps are yet to know wat time it is.
A hundred tribunals, a hundred by-elections, APC will bGG never win in the state.

That IS the reality on ground.



...and Yes, this IS hypocritical on the part of Buhari.
The more he faces the south wit such rhetoric, the more antagonistic the south will be against him.

peace.

Let's not deceive ourselves, there are only 4 geopolitical zones in the country; the ss, the se, the sw and the north.

Am I surprised by the gloatings from a statesman of his status about the North dictating the polity, ... No.

The north had been sidelined f 6+years from their 'birth right', now that they ganged up under the pretext of change to put in one of their own, they definitely will coalesce around him to prevent a repeat of wat befell GEJ.
Buhari doesn't need to influence the elections into the offices in the National assembly cos the other northerners will by default ensure his political protection.

I laugh when peeps claim they'll vote out Buhari if he doesn't perform, like it'll b that easy.

we voted, whether right or wrong, time will tell.

The South (s&e), will simply sit and observe.
our eyes are fully opened now, no more dulling.

God...
really miss the days of the classy, intelligent yet cute NLand girls.
The days of Ogugua, brownsugar, that jamo chic and sexkills chic..??88 etc.

Not these days of fixation with assets we had no hand in, derailed modesty and distasteful booty pics ( smh@ d girl that actually took a pic of her ass f empirical evidence).

I appreciate a good thing, as well as confidence in a woman, but the sexiest tin abt a woman will always be her Brains...


Which seems to be seriously lacking on NLand.

osemeka:

Bullshit...
Big boot camry wasn't given the monicker 'Big for nothing' for nothing. reason Toyota had to 'downsize'.
moderate and cute rocks over 'big' most times.
Grow up son and Stop generalizing.

femicyrus:
I have seen governors walking on the street in ogun state, eating at canteen in ekiti state and even platting hair for a lady in an area in rivers state. They were not killed as a result.

Those carefully crafted public displays to score political points is not the same as this. Comparing this with that of the British p.m is plain silly as well.
Are we @ the same level as these countries wen it comes to (electronic) surveillance? ??

The decision is commendable but very very risk.
I personally am against.

IdiAmin1:
Even though I'm not his fan, Rochas has always been a millionaire. So his theft in govt is like emptying a drum of water in an already acquired geepee tank.

We should focus on people like TA Orji whose theft is like stealing the geepee tank full of water itself

Stealing is stealing and a criminal is a criminal.

Presently wondering how a state that had very few incidents of card reader failure decided to resort to the use of manual accreditation (which is much more stressful and cumbersome) for 3/4of its citizens

Must be something am missing or is this selective anosmia once again



P.s@o.p....pls, source if we're t believe this news.

dahdah:
You do all those things yet u have no food to eat, you trek to school , I swear d person gonna fail

One of the best students in my sec.school was from a family that wasn't well to do.
Coincidentally (or not), he and his 2 younger brothers were academically brilliant.
He's presently a full time staff @ naoc @Abuja, while the younger bro works @ Chevron.
Keep waiting f pocket money

tonytony208:
Last time I checked, the king in the north was actually arrowed to death (just joking).

?.......by his supposed allies if I remember correctly.


Character is individualistic.

Zoharariel:
They think GMB is Ebele Wereype or Orji Uzo Kalu.

Baba tell them; 1 Fulani General is equivalent to 9 Yoruba Generals + 360 Igbo Generals + 720 Ijaw Generals

Nigerians like wahala sha..

Don't know whether to vex or laff.



@o.p......nice from the general.
Lets hope the motives right.

nautybride:
Dear OP; What i m about to write might not be liked and could be strange, please do not ignore.
Wake up in the middle of the night and start praying for your family. it works wonders.
Please, wake up before him to say morning prayers and make sure the instant he wakes up, Go on your knees and greet him, then say some words of prayer about his day.
If you have been sad, change your attitude, your happiness can change the atmosphere of the home.
Be kinder and sweet the more without pissing him.
When he gets home after work, give him a hug and peck his cheek ( surprise him)
Dont relax or be discouraged if it doesnt yield results fast, he ll come around.
Sit with him while eating, you dont have to chat him up.
If he is reading; pick up yours around him and read.
If its looking like you are disturbing his space- you can let him be.
If you can try these; if there are secrets you will discover them sooner than you think.
If there are none, you will discover more ways to make your home stand. A WOMAN IS THE KEEPER OF HER HOME.

The death of relationships begins with the dearth of communications.
Problem most times is, the breakdown creeps in ever so slowly, and by the time ppl starts seeing the symptoms, it's already a raging problem, both parties have taken their moral high grounds and efforts to reach out to the other from that position, usually is to justify their position...and the cycle continues.

One tin peeps need to realize, Every Action in a Relationship IS a Communication of some sort... yes, the communication is not bin done d right way, but there's a communication, a reaching out.

Like the poster above has suggested, there are lil tins that may not look to matter but are VERY important, and one is not allowing that chasm btwn u 2 be created.There's a saying'the family that prays together, stays together' and this is so true. Nautybrides suggestions are so true
Volvo6 also made some good points also.


Finally, I've a feeling one of the main issues here is the childlessness. Whatever it is tho, u need to face it honestly, prayerfully and in the right way. Children or not, if you aren't happy, you still won't be happy.





P.s; dissing your husband's sexual inadequacies on a forum, whether anonymous or not isn't wise and is quite disturbing thinking about it. Resentment manifests subtly but can't be hid.
All the best@fablady

Good news for the baby daddies rocking them twins.



Not a bad time to go into the paternity testing biz..

Hello house...need opinions.
Got a good deal on a clean tho fairly used c-class 2005-7 model (double round lights), to get d missus off my baby , but I've bin getting a lot of discouragements from peeps and mechanics alike concerning fuel consumption and other issues.
Is there something I should know, or someone with same model who can tell me wat d experience has bin like?
Tnx...

onila:
some pple take me seriously

I do take u seriously...............


With a large portion of salt tho

ronald4lif:
Some people just have to start talking less. Who goes out on a date with an ex and tell the fiance. Some things are better left unsaid.

Somethings are better left undone.




@o.p..she informed you, good. let it rest. Really nothing you can do f now...react, and she gets defensive and secretive, don't and it means u aren't bin honest t yourself and her.
If you are displeased, let her know, but don't make an issue outta it and afterwards, Let It Rest.

Totally agree. Definitely needed.

Rexphobia:
The game of Thrones.... Power belongs to the king of the North... He can do whatever he likes with it.






In other news, I think we should organise a census, we really need to know the number of people in the North and by extension, in Nigeria. Why? They may just continue to decide for the majority of Nigerian with this bloc voting tendency...



I dare say, weighted average of votes may be considered

I absolutely concur.
The next census needs to be under strict rules and the results adjudged as accurate as possible.
This is the time to know know

I personally think the age factor has affected them both fairly equally...but d Pac man seems to be going into this with more 'heart' ,and that may as well be wat it'll get down to.

wat time will the fight be showing





off topic..I really can't seem to find a proper boxing gym here in PH, anyone know of any

nwosupato:
. If I were the admin of nairaland I will simply block u for calling him names..without going true his write up. U need to b brain washed.

....with Hypo.

dude just registered himself amongst the top 5 infamous lineup of dumbasses on NL.

I think we may need to have a collective prayer and fasting session for common sense f him... ..

Omens (good/bad) are unreliable and subject to interpretation..but Not to be taken lightly.
Most times it's the feelings such happenings elicit that determines whether to overlook or attend to with alacrity.

In this case @op, discuss your fears with your parents and let it be followed at that level...


my 10 cents

innervoice:
Has anyone here said that the man, the father of the kids, will NOT take care of the kids?

like I said before....

Comprehension IS a major issue here on NL.



I don't bother anymore.

Moana:
quick question have u ever babysitted any toddlers all day alone? And did you even have time for yourself while you were at it?

I thought a matured man would realise that his kids need more attention and care and as a result of it he would help his wife around more so she will be able to make time for them together as a couple...

If you keep treating your marriage as if you are the most important figure in the equation instead of a union of 2 people becoming one and making each other's lives easier and happier, you will also as a man be responsible for the breakdown of the marriage.

Once you are over 18 you have to act like an adult, take responsibility. Marriage takes the efforts of 2 people and not the wife alone.

Comprehension seems to be a major problem o NL. Normally I wouldn't bother, but...


*a MARRIAGE is a union of TWO people, Primarily.
A woman that puts her children before the husband, or husband putting the needs of his children b4 his wife (to b politically correct), isn't being serious.

The 2 (TWO) people in the Primary union COME FIRST.


Anyhow you want to understand it , is your bizness.
Eventually, your home is how you make it.

am out..

rokiatu:
Lol at number ten. The kids will and should always be more important. Am not saying the husband shouldn't be important, but both the wife and hubby should put their head on a chopping board for the kids. The kids should always be number one till they are 18 and ready to go.

Husband and wife married themselves...The kids are just spice to that union.
The focus is and should always be on the primary union, as long as that is strong, Every other thing, kids inclusive, will fall into place.


Basic marriage101

crackhaus:
True that!
Which is why I avoid hanging out in certain places...and to be honest, I'm seriously racking my brain right now trying to recall if I've ever been in such a situation like the OP, which is why I couldn't relate with it at first.

The most I've experienced is having to endure strange guys staring at my date and almost undressing her with their eyes, and that to me is kinda expected/normal.

Dude, it happens Everywhere..
2-3yrs back, was with my wife (g.f then) @ d basement garage@silver bird and a well dressed guy there was staring@her and later started making gestures@ her when I wasn't looking.
When she told me, I got really mad, but was it worth a confrontation? No... I was with the cute girl , he was going home to his Vaseline.