₦airaland Forum

It is very wrong to deny your partner romantic gestures such as the mentioned. When you do,do not blame her/him for receiving it outside.

Assuming she have had breath,he bore it till she bore him 3 kids.He have no excuse whatsoever.

We all need to note our partners deserves to be happy,married or about to.If you decline or careless,they would be tempted to get it outside and enjoy every moment of it.This is where it even becomes more dangerous.

Op obviously enjoys oral stimulation and the hubby unfortunately careless.Now she got it outside and enjoyed the moment...its natural for her as human to go for a repeat and go further.

Not everyone who cheats initially wanted to......there's "a need"... a catalyst, ...a stimulant that's missing because it appeals and stimulates her as any human would.

As for me...if the man keeps turning his back ,perhaps he's getting some outside discreetly, then he should be rest assured someone else would be handling her right sooner or later .Being a wife doesn't mean she should imprison her natural sensual feelings to a man who cared less.

She deserve to he happy just as he.

MosakuAW:
.

http://thenationonlineng.net/new/passenger-caught-stealing-on-lagos-abuja-flight/



Dennis after he was caught on Monday. Photo: Adedeji Ademigbuji

Ive no doubt hes been doing this on long distance trips. No one could actually wake up pne day, board a flight after marking a target and steal his money.Unless remotely controlled which in this case i doubt. I hope they dashed him enough slaps before handing him over to the cops while charges pressed against him.Clever thief

lalasticlala:
The woman who cut the hands of his brothers son has given reasons why she did so. if you missed the earlier story, here is the link

https://www.nairaland.com/2380913/mum-cut-hands-after-ate

Read her reasons below:



http://newtelegraphonline.com/why-i-used-blade-on-him-olayinka/

Even the woman needs medical help. I bet shes suffering from catrracts.However, we mustn confuse ABUSE with DISCIPLINE.....It just aint right. Even at Animal its still not right nor normal.

She must be punished nevertheless by the LAW.

dre11:
http://newtelegraphonline.com/my-mum-cut-my-hands-after-i-ate-at-a-party-says-10-yr-old-boy/


Pictures 1the boy hand
Picture 2 the woman(Mrs Olayinka)
http://newtelegraphonline.com/why-i-used-blade-on-him-olayinka/

Time we take Child Abuse seriously in Nigeria.Under the guise of DISCIPLINE, frustrated parents and guardians become monsters and raises monsters in return. Imagine the type of phobia the boy child would develop for the woman and most probably women as he grow up under the captivity of this she-devil?

Eferho:
Hi everyone, i'm a graduate of biochemistry UNIBEN, i'm trying to get admission in Medicine n surgery via D.E at UNN, what is the minimum grade I need to get? How competitive is D.E admission at UNN? Thanks

My brother, unless it is your passion to study medicine, and not as a result of societal rating, money or parental wish, il advise you liaise with people who work in labs and medical research centers. There you will shine as thats where you were trained. Believe me.

ChappyChase:
http://www.vanguardngr.com/2015/06/ohanaeze-youths-want-buhari-to-complete-2nd-niger-bridge-enugu-airport/

The nerve!!!. Was it not the same people who enmasse cursed any of their own who chose to vote for APC/Buhari/Osibanjo.... I thought on this forum some Easterners were claiming the bridge was about to completed by their own choice, GEJ.

The same that were begging Buhari for post. Abeg make dem go join queue..........From the back.!!!

honourhim:
In the early church, offerings were shared to every man according to their needs and no man lacked anything but in our time offerings are pastors personal property. Is that right?

Acts 4:34 Neither was there any among them that lacked: for as many as were possessors of lands or houses sold them, and brought the prices of the things that were sold, 4:35 And laid them down at the apostles' feet: and distribution was made unto every man according as he had need.

Correct!!!.

onlinebizinfo:
It's a question of sustainability, they want to start what they cannot finish. Secondly, it would be better if the plan were for poor widows, widowers and orphans. Any able bodied Nigerian who cannot find something to do is simply lazy. Why must everybody wait to be employed? There are two big problems with the unemployed 1) Laziness 2) pride. They all want executive jobs and nobody wants to start something small.

Correct!!!

wachakuta:
The Buhari Administration at the weekend declared that there are ongoing plans to implement one of its striking campaign promises that it will pay N5000 each to the poorest Nigerians across the country.

Vice President Yemi Osinbajo who gave the hint noted that government is “currently evaluating the best ways to collapse existing cash transfer and social welfare schemes to ensure consistency and alignment.

“Once this is completed, we will implement the first phase of this program, using recognized identification platforms and transparent payment solutions”, he added.

Nice..but this is not how it should take off.Grants for unemployed should come much much later.

First, Nigeria needs a SOLID National Identification system. I mean data capture for, e.g blood type, tribe,Parents names,etc, capturing who is a citizen (by birth,by Marriage and by Naturalization,from who is not.
Then grants be focused on the Aged (senior citizens )and the physically challenged.

It makes no sense paying grant to unemployed every month!!!. Examples from countries with such (my country host) have proven such youths would become totally dependent on government grants and would see no need for self actualization nor self development in entrepreneurial skills.In fact, they would protest to have an increase in grants thereafter.

Be easy on taxing the self employed citizens and entrepreneurs. There are many avenues from which past governments of various states have been taxing in multiple folds, indigenes and residents e.g, land use charge, municipal levy, radio and television, mobile advert,e.t.c apart from income tax.
Open doors for foreign investments, while policies to safe guard employees from exploitation of foreign investors should equally be in place. ( this also means investmenst into security and modern physical structures.
There are so many areas of investment that could drop the high rate of unemployment in Nigeria. Does Nigerians know that Mining and processing of mined resources is not effectively tapped into? we have cobalt, coal, gold, etc just to mention a few...And the chinese are vastly tapping into this.
Same goes with medical research and labs. Look at the huge amount of money Indian investors are making in Lagos alone.

Grants to unemployed youth, for me is wrongly timed.Rather teach them to fish, give them the opportunity to fish,than be giving them fish.

strenghtofawoman:
Sad story I must say, and very touching too.. The woman must have gone way over her limits nd ended up pushing the man away.

There re 3 tings I ve heard of that a man doesn't joke with in marriage, in order of importance RESPECT,SEX, FOOD, love may come in later..

In this story d woman failed in all of these 3 + 1, disrespecting the man, talking down on his sexual prowess( this can emotionally nd physically kill any man and push him to check himself wit anoda woman) : I dnt think food was served wit respect nd then no love to provide emotional support. She was wrong

The man felt disrespected, humiliated,emotionally tortured and almost lost the essense of being a man, it was wrong for him to be treated that way.

He found soccour in another woman's arms, and continued cheating and eventually left the home .Was he right ( not totally, cheating isn't the best option, rather than that he would hav returned the woman to her parents or file for divorce) he wasn't totally in control of his home too, that was his undoing, A MAN shld set the limits and dictate not d other way round. When u give a woman soo much priviledge u sell urself and ur home.

By nd large, after all said nd done, my worry is for d kids, they will become products of a broken home, d man might say they don't matter to him today, but believe me , even God will hold him accountable if anything happens to them.

Marriage is not a bed of roses, cheating is not always a good option, communication is key, wen it is obvious its bcoming life threatening, u may seek divroce or annulment..

Remeber thres no perfect man/woman out there!!

No modern woman ideologist would agree to what you posted my dear Afterall if the man growl,by right she growls back ..in fact growl and bite

ABEngine:
The portion of our Lords prayer says "Lead us not into temptation but..." you don't need a taste of this to adequately furnish your curiosity, rather your lack, if you rightly read through that epistle you should have noticed the OP has seen the facets of life from another perspective. Don't be so keen with stuffs you see on movies, shits here happen real time.

She would be called clueless if she didn't realize her mistakes, I am neither of the opinion that he should have tasted the waters but damn this stuff had gone on for ten years (ie barely 10% probability of having lone time with your spouse through eternity- Olorun maje!). 80% of men I know would do same. Don't forget we equally need attention, trust me, we do.

My brother, don't be moved to appeal to their sense of reasoning.This story touched me as such compelled to share .Few people learn from "Examples", most unfortunately prefer " Experience".

babygirlfl:
There is nothing wrong with the write-up. The problem is the op who put some part of the write up in bold in an attempt to make it what it is not and blame it on the modern woman even when most of what the woman said led to the breakdown of her marriage is championed by those who want the old ways to stay.

@op,



Ignore him and face your children sounds to me like putting the children first.

When you marry him, you marry his family and they can come and visit when they want does not sound to me like a home where parents/Inlaw have boundaries. I can even add that slapping your partner in his/her house as not having boundaries.

Don't talk back at him. Learn to keep shut sounds like that's what the op does.

Honestly ask yourself if it's the modern woman that gives these kind of advice because every time I have heard it , it's been from those women and men who champion how women in the olden days lived.


In your fast attempt to teach the modern woman a lesson, you have ended up telling us that we are right and if anybody is to change, it's those who love the way women of old lived.

Her point about emasculating him proves that any woman can be rude and bad whether modern or not.

Hehehrhe for real ..... Sisi did you read all you typed at all? I swear down there are too many embittered women on this forum ...

*The bolded were not made up,she realised those were her errors,bolded by me for women such as yourself to take note
* she should ignore him.....she'd been doing that till he sampled a deserving woman
*Slapping your partner according to you is no boundary. ...let's have a free-for-all to see the first to shout ABUSE.
*No where in the story were you taught by her regrets,she was right it wouldn't be "Huge Mistakes" then would it?

Of all the yeye responses na you make me laugh pass..haba....did you read the story from right to left ni?

bukatyne:
And How Does these vices point to modern wife?

@Longsuffering: read the OP again.

The wife saw herself as long suffering and selfless till her faults were pointed out.

How Does such a wife who thought she was the picture of a humble and selfless wife be thinking of your version of 'woman empowerment'?

I laugh at your cunning word puzzle ....let me lay it bare for you. ..

Women empowerment as you preferred to point out in relation to "modern woman" are clearly two instances, related but yet clearly defined.

A modern woman defined by urban dictionary ..has a job, not entry level, has done very well for herself and maintains or does not maintain a family. In the 1950's when the term first came to use, it was also a sexual saying. A modern woman can have as many romantic interests as she sees fit. The modern woman pursues affairs and is equal to the man when it comes to sexual partners. Marking the end of the 'nice girl era' in which women were only suppose to have one sexual partner as opposed to men, who could pursue interests of a sexual nature.
'You're a modern woman, you can have as many partners as you please"....

Empowered women is a economically independent woman.
See how the two interrelate but clearly defined?

bukatyne:
And How Does these vices point to modern wife?

Show me women of old,with living examples who exhibits such traits you out of goodwill term "vices" in comparison to " modern women" and we can take it up from there.
Or would you say those "vices" are generally common to WOMEN??

Shollypopzz:
I have no problem with the article.

The woman never said his cheating was justified, she only said her ex-husband was a cheater but she was also a dismissive and rude wife.

As far as I'm concerned, the psychologist opened her eyes and made her come to terms with her own flaws. How is that a bad thing?? If you played a part in the downfall of your marriage, what is wrong with owning up to it??

You got it hun.Yup!!!...watch drama as they twist and suggests terms and "probable" excuses to tag the man as the baddoh. ....

bukatyne:
What is modern about the posts? Are the vices new?- depends on how you see it ...and which women of old exudes the traits you highlighted as vices below:



I thought her vices were:
1. Putting the kids first: very ancient vice
2. Not setting boundaries with her family
3. She emasculated him: over talking to her friends-(clever but good enough ...she talk DOWN her husband even in presence of friends)
4. Keeping mute at issues till she is So bitter and over reacts.

Include:
5. Exhibiting unwarranted SUPERIORITY over her ex-husband and DAILY showing it to him
6.Finding fault over everything he does as long as its not done her way.
7.Uncaring towards his feelings and emotional need.

I am honestly trying to understand the relationship between women empowerment and the listed vices.

The woman's predicament is testimony to modern women abuse of priviledges embedded in women mpowernent rights and privileged

And independence is a state of self sufficiency;

...and yours truly she's self suffient as evident in her lamentation

I think the word you need is lonely.

your preference not mine.

The wife saw herself as a dutiful longsuffering wife.

I doubt 'women empowerment' or 'Mrs. Independent' was onher mind.

Really? Didn't know "longsuffering" wives possess those "vices" you listed above. . .Wow!!!

[quote author=Rocktation post=34600838]Yeah and where this right thinking cheating butt wipe has landed himself, is rather blinding. Seemingly Elevated and Irreplaceable!

Anyone would expect some male who's not less of a man to be outright and honest with a person who's in a committed relationship as he, about his desire to sleep around, rather than being a dick and taking the pu.s.sy way out.

[\quote]




Theres a-b-s-o-l-u-t-e-l-y nothing "blinding" in "seeking happiness" from a more DESERVING partner, who appreciates and complements the mans personality,supporting his God-given-enquivocal qualities and responsibilities.

Any reasonable person would equally agree it's by far better to take the pus.ssy way out (as if remaining in the loveless union would make him a better dick) and move on,rather continue with an "irredeemable" controlling unappreciative and egoistic so-called modern woman.Than turn around to become a wife killer.

He's a man who knew his worth and the necessity of retaining his sanity before he ended being slapped with decades of solitude behind bars.

As we write,he's not the one wailing with regrets.......we all know who ........Da modern bi.t.ch.

Rocktation:
After all is said and done, nothing in this life can justify cheating. If you think this is yet another I'm-a-modern-woman talking, then switch these people's shoes in that head of yours, however egotistical and uncompromising it may be, then come back and talk to me.

No need to waste precious time thinking on assumptions of "I'm a modern woman egotistical and uncompromising blabbing...." Its evident how they end up. ..REPLACED and DEMOTED!!!

No right thinking man,with his head rightly screwed on his shoulders should continually bare the excesses of a BI.T.CH. She's not his God,but his wife (ex).

kamez:
Skinny punk

Could be innocent of the bombing allegation though.

Maybe guilty of other crimes..

I no trust naija uniform men

They re ready to call an Igbo man shekau

Precisely NY thought.This Olukolade wot wot....I don't trust him at all.

Brugo:
Ladies really need to learn to talk/complain without spite.

Yours truly,I pray they learn,especially the "I'm a modern woman crew".

4. I didn't bother to learn to fight the right way.
I know it sounds odd to suggest there is a right way to fight. But there is. I tended to keep the peace in our house by keeping my mouth shut when things were really bothering me. As you can imagine, all the small things that drove me crazy grew into a giant suppressed ball of anger that would erupt occasionally in a huge, really frightening fit of Hulk-like rage. And by rage, I mean rage in the clinical, mental-health definition kind of way. After the fact, I'd justify my anger by saying that a woman can only take so much. Looking back, I was one scary b*tch during those episodes.
More from YourTango: 8 Rules You MUST Follow When Fighting With Your Husband
I write this mea culpa not with the hopes of winning my ex back, or even wanting his forgiveness. I write this because I can't believe how long I kept my head buried in the sand. I hope other women out there will yank theirs out and take a good look around. And while I'm still hurt that my husband chose to solve our problems in another woman's bed when some conversation and counseling might have helped, I absolutely know that my behavior was part of what pushed him there.


Courtesy.http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/6355374

2. I didn't set (or enforce) boundaries with my parents.
They were at our house frequently, sometimes arriving unannounced and walking right in. They'd "help out" around the house doing things we never asked them to, like folding our laundry (incorrectly, of course). We'd vacation with them. They'd correct our children in front of us. My own fears of upsetting my parents kept me from drawing a line in the sand and asking them not to cross it. The few times I did stand up for my family's autonomy, I didn't hold my parents to the same standards in future. My husband, quite literally, married my entire family.


3. I emasculated him.
I thought love was about honesty, but we all know that the truth hurts. As we grew more comfortable (read: lazy) in our relationship, I stopped trying to take the sting out it. I talked smack to my girlfriends, my mom, my co-workers. All. The. Time. "Can you believe he didn't do this?" and "Why in God's name did he do that?
instead of building up his ego, I trampled all over it. I belittled him often, saying his job was unimportant and dismissing his friends as "hangers-on." I berated him for doing things wrong when, in all honesty, he just wasn't doing them my way. At times I spoke to him like a child. I controlled the family finances and grilled him over every single penny he spent. And in the bedroom -- yup, you guessed it -- he was doing that all wrong too, and I wasn't shy about telling him so. As our marriage crumbled, I found myself constantly looking for faults and mistakes so that I could justify my superiority. By the end, I had zero respect for him and I made sure he knew it and felt it every day.

By Sloane Bradshaw

At first it was easy for me to point every single finger and toe at my husband for obliterating our 10-year marriage. He's the one who cheated and walked out without looking back. And long before that, he repeatedly shut me out, choosing to bury himself in his work to avoid what was happening to us at home.
Blame was my coping mechanism to get through the first difficult months of our separation, and "how dare he (gasp!)" was my mantra. I rallied an entire army of supporters who, like me, were totally, utterly and completely aghast at the nerve -- the gall -- of this man.
Because obviously being a lying, cheating, family abandon-er trumps anything I did to our marriage in the past decade. Right?
Wrong.!!!

I deflected any and all culpability in the failure of my marriage for months, holding on to the picture I painted of myself as the gentle, selfless and long-suffering wife. It wasn't until I found a therapist who called me out on my bullsh*t that I was forced to take a long, hard look at my shortcomings.
It wasn't pretty.
Here's what I now know actually screwed up my marriage. May it serve as a warning to you. Before it's too late.


1. I put my children first.
It's easy to love your own children. It takes very little effort, and they adore you no matter what. Marriage is the polar opposite: it's work. And whenever my marriage started to feel like work, I would check out and head to Build-A-Bear Workshop or the science museum with the kids in tow. I'd often plan these adventures when I knew my husband couldn't go (and spoil my good time). I told myself it was OK because he preferred to work anyway and always seemed grouchy on family outings. I chose most nights to cuddle with them in our bed, blaming his late-night bedtimes and snoring for the sleeping arrangement. As a result, we were hardly alone together and never had kid-free date nights. Well, maybe once a year on our anniversary.

****** to be continued********

short and simple...he died from heart seizure....he no know im level.

Fvck this pessimist 7 times over!!! What his 'idols' have destroyed and could not put in place in over 16 years of party rule he wants done in less than a month.

Haters could keep gawking and squalling, Buhari is on the seat and directing our country's affairs, one step at a time with recovery from stolen loots and sourcing for financial backup to run the country

And as long as any corrupt officials are found guilty, show em no mercy.

Yemi Adebowale, you are a Useless Punk!!!

lezz:
very tragic. I sympathize with the people, government and Ghanaians on NL.

May God strengthen and give you grace at this trying time.

Amen bro

There is difference between discipline/chastisement and abuse. This is abuse damn it!!!.

the one with the baby and mother touched me reaaaaaally baad. West african nations must wake from past glory,sit tight and put our countries right. Enough of tribal sentiments.

My heart goes out to the Ghanaians.This is sad really.

midolian:
With security at the top of his agenda, President Muhammadu Buhari may have decided to make the announcement of his security team the first in the series of appointments he is expected to make at the start of his administration, THISDAY has learnt. The team is likely to be headed by former Chief of Army Staff, Lieutenant-general Abdulrahman Dambazau, who looks set to become the new National Security Adviser.
It is also gathered from a reliable source that the next on the list of appointments would be those of Secretary to the Government of the Federation and Chief of Staff to the President.

This is as Buhari’s silence on executive appointments seen as key to the full take-off of his administration has upset many chieftains of his party, All Progressives Congress. It has also provoked considerable anxiety about the roadmap he is reading after his swearing in as president on May 29.

Many Nigerians had thought from past experience that Buhari would announce major appointments, such as Chief of Staff, media spokesperson NSA, and SGF, at least within 48 hours of his inauguration. Former President Olusegun Obasanjo had sacked all the service chiefs, the director-general of State Security Services, and the NSA on his assumption of office.

Buhari’s refusal to say anything on the appointments has fuelled speculation that he and key stakeholders of APC may not be on the same page with regard to the choice of persons for the positions.

Nonetheless, Buhari and the vice president, Professor Yemi Osinbajo, have declared their assets in line with the constitution. This was disclosed in a statement by the head of Buhari’s media team, Garba Shehu.

But the non-publication of the details of the assets declaration, in keeping with popular expectation and the president’s own past pledge, has rankled with many Nigerians. 

The Code of Conduct Bureau on Friday acknowledged the submission of the asset declaration forms of Buhari and Osinbajo, which were submitted separately on May 28, and endorsed by the organisation's chairman, Sam Saba. Buhari's declarant identity was given as “President: 000001/2015.”

Nigerians expected the president to make his asset declaration public. But Shehu defended Buhari’s decision to limit the declaration to the Code of Conduct Bureau, thus, “President Muhammadu Buhari has declared his assets to the Code of Conduct Bureau as required by the Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria. If anyone is interested in knowing details of his asset worth, such a person can avail himself or herself of the use of Freedom of Information Act to seek the information from the bureau.”

In a related development, the president has denied placing a travel ban on any Nigerian, including officials of the past administration.

A statement on Saturday by Shehu said, “We have not banned anyone from travelling.” It stressed that all ex-government officials were entitled to their freedom of movement and other rights and privileges under the constitution and must not be subjected to harassment and intimidation at the airports or other points of entry and exit.

The statement was in reaction to reports about “V.I.P. stoppages” yesterday at the airports.

“Unless otherwise directed by the courts, no law-abiding citizens should be barred from travelling abroad. We must treat fellow citizens with courtesy and respect.

"Officials at the borders and other points of entry and exit should conduct their affairs in strict compliance with due process. No one has my permission to bar anyone from travelling abroad,” Shehu quoted Buhari as saying.

Meanwhile, THISDAY learnt that APC leaders insisted they must be carried along by the president in the making of strategic appointments in line with the principle of party supremacy. He had in his inaugural speech on Friday announced the relocation of the Defence Headquarters to Maiduguri, the capital of Borno State, the hotbed of the nearly six-year-old Boko Haram insurgency. This was in apparent demonstration of his determination to tackle the terrorist threat head-on. Against this backdrop, Buhari is believed to have prioritised the appointment of his security team.

The president was said to have initially decided to make Dambazau the Minister of Defence, but other APC leaders who got wind of it objected to the appointment of northerners into the two strategic positions of NSA and defence minister.

The president of Nigerian Guild of Editors and managing director of Sun Newspapers, Femi Adesina, is said to be pencilled in as Buhari’s senior special adviser on media and publicity, and former military administrator of Kaduna State, Col. Abdul Hamid Ali, is being considered for Chief of Staff. Ali had served as Buhari’s Chief of Staff before.

Those eyeing the post of SGF include immediate past governor of Rivers State, Chibuike Amaechi; former governor of Abia State, Chief Ogbonnaya Onu; and the latest entrant, Alhaji Babagana Kingibe.

Sources in APC said Buhari may have settled for Amaechi with the backing of prominent southerners in the party, who are keen on having someone from the region in the position.

Leaders of the party from the south were said to have confronted Buhari over Kingibe's alleged aspiration, insisting he didn't work for the party. But Buhari was said to have informed them that they might  not have been aware that the former SGF actually  worked for his victory behind the scene.

However, Kingibe has become visible since Buhari's victory, prompting leaders of the party from the south to unite behind Amaechi so that the region does not miss the opportunity of producing the SGF.

THISDAY gathered that the delay in the announcement of key appointments by the new government was caused by the president’s decision to refrain from any pronouncement in that regard until major political interests in his party had been catered for.

http://www.thisdaylive.com/articles/key-appointments-buhari-s-silence-unsettles-apc-leaders/210759/

All these PDP converts in APC should better be patient rather than been anxious and let Buharis govt. run the show.
Its no longer business as usual.No more square pegs in a round hole.

zik4ever:
Before we misinform Nigerians and start insulting ourselves, the amnesty programme even before Buhari took over, was scheduled to end this year 2015 just that some have been hoping and pushing for an extension. Go to their website or check google. What seems obvious now is that Buhari won’t extend it. So it’s not as if he has fixed a new end date. He has only affirmed it. I am sure his government will engage stakeholders and come up with strategies to develop the Niger Delta. Having said that, I think we should begin to look beyond the amnesty and begin to demand accountability from all the Niger Delta State Governors for the huge money they get as 13% derivation. We need to also ask the Ministry of Niger Delta to account for the huge votes it gets to develop the region. And then there is NDDC which gets more money that some States! It can’t be business as usual.

True son of he soil have spoken.Enough of militias enriching themselves and running to Benin republic to invest their loot.

It should end nothing go shele.

If this is true, I Odion endorse it.Take away the amnesty grant that is massively siphoned for no gainful use but wasteful expenditures and turn it to ND indigenes benefit scheme.Exclusively for Indigenes with or without oil wells.Let the money be for all, young, old and new at birth and not few militias.