₦airaland Forum

offset67:
The girl that did this will remain barren till she dies

No she won't

marvin906:
am beginning to think the devil is a woman in human form...
what happened to dropping these children in any church or orphanage..
why kill them..
infact may that girls womb never conceive again

this is terrible, but an abortion would have prevented this. Infact a responsible man with a condom would have prevented this

Ariza:
Lol... The beginning of the chapter says:
Now, Concerning the things whereof you wrote to me:It is good for a man to touch a woman?

2) Nevertheless, to avoid fornication,let every man have his own wife and let every woman have her own husband....
..
7)For I would that all man were even as I myself.But every man has his proper give of God....
I say therefore to the unmarried and widows it is good for them to remain as I am

9) BUT if they can not CONTAIN, let them MARRY. For it is better to Marry than to Burn.


Now those commands rather Words of Advice (Because Paul said he spoke out of Permission not Commands) are for every Christians not those in Ministry alone. People intend to limit Celibacy to Those in Ministry or those who took vows of Celibacy.

thanks for schooling these folks that take scripture out of context.

Klass99:
Lol, there are millions of people like Unnerve who preach at me all the time and just won't accept that I am simply not interested, I simply do not want.

In their minds, there's always a problem with me. I must have had a traumatic childhood experience or some deep seated issues unaddressed for years, or I have a medical issue and I cannot have kids, so I am pretending about not wanting them.

The list of my issues or what the problem could be, is usually plenty. People cannot accept that there are women like me who don't want kids, there must be something wrong with us - it's either spiritual or physical The thing dey tire me.

My dear, maybe you should try to relocate, to aviod stories that touch

DeeMain:
Ma, you are quoting me out of context. I explained what I meant clearly. If you are wounded in your mind by past trauma it will reflect in your behaviour as a dysfunction. The reason is that mind and body are inseparable.

That behavioural dysfunction is a mental health issue and that's what I called mental illness.


Mental illness/disorder: A wide range of conditions that affect mood, thinking and behaviour (www.mayoclinic.org).

I give up

Unnerve:
Lol, we have ended up saying the same thing.
Counselling to determine if the person is certified to make the decision (psychological), weighing the pros and cons (do they really understand their decision).

Just curious, what's the difference between what you ought to do and what you're mandated to do?

mandate is by force, ought is more of an obligation

DeeMain:
Read what I wrote again bro. If you hate kids or they irritate or anger you by there mere presence or you feel overwhelmed by having them around, you have a problem in your mind (which could be sue to a past childhood trauma or experience).

That problem or trauma in your mind due to the past is a mental illness. It is not derogatory. It simply means you have been wounded in your mind.

Trauma is not a mental illness.

Unnerve:
Are you really a doctor?

When a young woman makes a case for not wanting to have any children, doctors are usually mandated to determine her reasons, sometimes even offering psychological counseling. This is normal procedure.
I'm not one though, just curious on my part is all.

No we are not mandated, remove that bias from your mind.

What we ought to do is to counsel, make sure the person is certified fit to make the decision. Tell the patient to weigh the pros and cons and ask the patient to think about it.

But what a lot of doctors end up doing is to start projecting their beliefs to their patients which is wrong.

True

Unnerve:
Number 3 is not particular with Nigerian Doctors. It happens in much the same way even in developed countries.

See this NYTopinion
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2017/11/30/sunday-review/women-sterilization-children-doctors.amp.html

Unnerve:
So the reason you don't really want kids is because society expects you to have kids, meaning you're just being rebellious against expected standards.

No I don't think this is it really.

I don't think it is because you've done everything so far in the exact way society wants you to - you learned to cook, clean & maintain a home, you went to school, graduated and got a job, you simply just want to skip the last two steps on the societal progression and jump to death, the final step.

What exactly is the animosity towards marriage and kids? Figure that out on your own, like see someone who can make you acknowledge the real reasons. You don't have to admit the real issue here.

And NO, all that your talk about the behaviour of your neighbour's kids or about your married friends confiding in you on how bad their marriages are, those are not your real reasons. They are just what you use to justify your negative perception of marriage and kids, bad examples to make yourself feel right about your decision.

You could try to spin your next reply and type the usual everyone is just not cut out for marriage and children yada yada yada, but never bother.
You're Nigerian who has lived all her life in Nigeria, if you were someone with purely western foundation and upbringing, it would be understandably fashionable to be an unmarried woman with no kids because of a distinctive choice you made rather than it being an actual sign of something off going on much deeper.

please stop preaching, she doesn't want na. Pls lets respect ourselves and the wishes of others

Klass99:
Oh yes, I have. I haven't acted on the thought though for

1. Fear of going in for a simple procedure and coming out with more than I bargained for, in terms of complications.

2. Abstinence and celibacy has served me well so far, so.......

3. Nigerian Doctors turn into preachers when a woman wants something like this. I can very well do without the sermon.

Number 2, is still my preferred mode of family planning . It saves me a lot of stress and baggage too.

i understand no 3 very well.

Many doctors cannot wrap the fact that a woman wants to remove her apparatus.

It is well. Just get a good contraception. It's all good.

Juliusmomoh:
Penis no de pain her husband na.... Na back de pain am..... So she can use another sex style to get what she want........

the plumbing is deqd

Klass99:
Lookatchu you go follow me train the child, pay school fees and all?

Kids are beautiful, I will rather admire yours than have one of my own. Oya go and start laying

If you were with me the day, that child was displaying you go first slap her before me sef. Tolerance get levels o! As I no beat her that day, I know sey I get self control

have you considered getting sterilised?

light099:
You're one of the freaks suffering from a mental disorder known as 'Misopedia', which is a sadistic disorder.
Like I use to say, life is a compound mixture. It's a weird wild world.
The only thing each person can wish for is not to be on the wrong side of nature.
Now that you found yourself on a wrong side, the next thing is to find a way out.

The first step is to stay away from kids, because from your narrative, it shows you enjoy tormenting kids with no regrets. Further asking if you needed help in itself is freaky. Do you still have to doubt your psychological instability at this stage?
Get help and stay away from kids, so you wouldn't end up as the next Beverley Allitt. If I ever come across your freaky ass anywhere, tormenting kids, I might be the first person to pull the trigger.


Alright, you're very right. Since kids are not lovable to you, I think your greatest effort in life should be, how to find a way to go back in time to your childhood, so you could pull the trigger on the numb skull of the kid you were.

who is this?

TakeThem:
Kids are lovely people. Why hate them?

they're not

Sleepaway:
The young lady wrote on her page on Facebook:


As a girl it's norm to always love and want kids but in my case it's different. I always thought I liked kids until I turned 15 and then I started living with my aunt and her triplets, I know you'd probably be thinking it's cause triplets are normally snakes and pests and they often unite to cause havoc in general but no, funny but they don't even like each other, they always fight themselves and whenever you try to be friendly they immediately start being friendly then they start doing abnormal things just to get you into trouble or just to have something to say to their mum and dad. Aunt did this and that. Not that their parents pay any attention to them or their reports it was just frustrating at that time and it got me thinking. At some point I slapped the shit out of one of them and I felt no atom of pain or pity I felt that murderous hatred I almost torn him into pieces I just walked into my room and shut the door cause I was ready to kill, flashback to presently my crelatives have been talking to me about kids and I don't know how to tell them that I do not want to have kids, I fear I might be a terrible mother and well I don't know I just don't want them. When I think about all the things I've done to children without any pity it just bugs me and I know for a fact kids and me don't equal wellness it equals pure unpitied self-centered disastrous HATE.
Now is it normal for me to feel thatway, are there others like me or am i just a freak that needs help??

Hmmm nairalanders

You are actually not alone although You are the only one I've seen who is honest and upfront about their feelings and they're valid feelings.

Children can be cruel, manipulative beings, i wanted to say they dont know better, but that's a lie especially when not brought up properly by their parents.

If you have decided that you don't want children, you have to consider other questions as well. Do you also want marriage or not? If the answer is yes, then look for an infertile man to marry and spend the rest of your life in bliss.(make sure he make the mula tho and has good character )

If your answer is no, pls find a way to relocate abroad, so that the bullying from a backwards and largely ignorant nigerian society is less. Also try to focus on other things like a career or volunteering to society

Do you want children but you don't want to give birth to them? If your answer is yes, opt for adoption, or marrying a widower (not a divorcee or baby daddy/l because they have plenty of baggage and drama that isn't worth it)

If you don't want kids at all and would like your peace and privacy, stay alone.

No matter what you do, try not to be violent to other children, things can get ugly for you.

Get good contraception, so that you don't have to get pregnant.

The crime section is full of people like you but instead chose to deceive themselves and Mistreat an innocent child.

Ignore those mumus telling you to go for deliverwnce or calling you evil, you are not. Peace.

You are creepy

manlawal:
as a matter of fact veet is not for ladies , I use it in pubic region so fvcking clean.

it is for ladies, but men use it too.

1. It's pink
2. Its marketed towards ladies.
3. It's like an upgraded hair relaxer.
4. I hope you moisturise after use.
5. It really does work for those areas where the sun doesn't shine

Kaykay999:
Veet

so you use girl products

Veet

Or


Brazilian wax

It's well

this is wrong. Very wrong.
She married an irresponsible man.

Don't say that it is the devil.

I also want to hear his story too.
But he should be jailed for beating his wife

DEEBOZZ:
Try tea tree oil
Tea tree oil is a popular folk remedy for pimples. It may “reduce the number of inflamed and non-inflamed lesion's.”

To use tea tree oil for pimples, apply a couple drops to the inflamed area. You can also add a few drops to your daily cleanser or moisturizer.

Prior to using undiluted tea tree oil on your face, do a patch test to see if it irritates your skin. Apply a few drops behind your ear or to your forearm, and wait several hours. If irritation occurs, dilute the oil using a 50-50 ratio before using.

Around the eyes?

SaAyomikun:
Hi Nairaladers,

I've noticed these acen-like spots on my face since around 5 years ago. Then, I didn't pay much attention cause I was erroneously convinced into believing it was caused by eating too much oil. Well, I cut down my oil consumption totally and those spots remain there.

The shocking part is they exist only around my eyes. The remaining of my face is smooth except around my eyes.

I have used several ointments including Ytacan and Funbact- A, still no difference.

Recently, somebody prescribed an ointment called "RETIN-A" for me but before using it, I wish to seek advice from the good people of this forum.

Please, do I go ahead to buy the RETIN-A or there's a better option?
I need advice, please.

is that milia ?

Rubbing RETIN-A round your eyes is not advisable, it can cause skin sensitivity if you don't apply it well. I doubt it will work, pls go and see a doctor.

DrLiveLogic:
Before anyone believes and begins advising @OP. Read carefully the signature of this moniker. In case she changes it later, it says "I create sparks and controversies for fun". That somehow makes this OP seem intended for mere weekend fun @ our expense. I'm only alleging but there is every possibility @OP is bored and desperately in need of some attention hence this "spark" created.
So let all tread cautiously.

Meanwhile @OP if you're serious, I'd suggest you should man up and rather than run from them, ask these snakes in your dreams what they really want and why they're after you. They're in the best position to give you answers.

Would like to be updated too.

And the snakes willanswer truthfully? They're snakes afterall

Palema007:
I do not agree with this, it is one thing to cheat, another to stupidly get pregnant and completely different to pin that pregnancy on another man. The latter is plainly evil and not justifiable.

Enabler

mrblessed:
Why the contrived outrage and unwarranted but lame attacks about a sister's decision to wash the boxers of her brother? Some "analysts," using their warped minds as a yardstick, have already imputed meaningless tropes in what is obviously a demonstration of sibling's love. We know that many siblings can't comprehend what family affection is, they shouldn't use their experiences as a moral compass to judge what is right or wrong.

What is more, the lady sees nothing wrong in washing her brother's boxers, hence, didn't have to comply. I believe if she thinks it is inappropriate, she would have refused to wash it and nothing will happen.

can you wash your sister's panties if she is too busy to do so?

Oga blogger, past tense of weep is wept, not weeped

vivsravine:
God help this generation,the pretence and deceits is much, check and test all spirit he says.

If want to stay safe in this generation...don't expect too much from people and always be ready for the unexpected.

This was the conversation I had with a friend, who was sharing with me the pains he has to undergo and the lessons he learnt from a horrible relationship.

His story.....

I met Anita at a function, where we sat at the same table at the party, we shared the same views and somehow we exchanged numbers, later we became friends and that was how we decided to take the friendship to the next level for 3 years.

She was jobless as at the time of our relationship, I made sure I established her in a business and set her up, so that when I get married to her she won't start afresh, but I noticed that she was free with me only when money is involved and other times, she was very hostile, i just felt she will change when she becomes mine fully.

The same year I asked her to marry me, she told me to complete my house in the village before she will accept to marry me, because she wasn't ready to share a space with any one there, I doubled my hustle to meet up with her demands, since its my own house too.

That same year she asked me for money, saying she needs to go see her parents and as usual I gave her more than and even gifts for her parents.

She travelled for 3 days and all through her phone was ringing and she wasn't picking ny calls, I left several messages and she never replied, I was scared and tried to reach to all who knows her but I realised she never wanted me to know anyone form her side, so I hoped and prayed she will call me.

One afternoon, a client called me to come inspect a project, I was just arriving at the venue when I saw a waspp message from her, it was a traditional wedding pictures of her and a guy who lives abroad.

I lost my sense of balance and I started to weep in the car, I turned my engine and drove back home, I went to my room and realised that she picked every single things that belonged to her in my house, while I was wailing, she called me and all she said was, Stan you are not my spec, am sorry, you will meet yours, and she hung the phone.

These are just a little bit to the stories we hear, the tales are so endless and the pains keeps growing, many have various versions of what they have been through, not only in dating relationships, business relationships and even amongst families, the deceit is much and you keep wondering why do we become so close but in the end become perpetual enemies, the answers is not far fetched, its within.

Deceit and pretence is living worm in our stomach, the more we feed it, the more it wants more, but when we starve it, the better we become, but no one wants to go starving, we soil relationship because of selfish gains and then regert it in no time.

Stop expecting much from people no matter who they are to you, create a room called the unexpected, so that when people truly show you who and what they are to you, rather than hurting yourself, you become better like you already installed a shock absorber in you without fear, you gain your balance immediately.

Don't create what you don't intend to end well with...

Ahudiya speaks ©

Visit my blog for more

https://vivoparah..com/?m=1

ChybuzzDD:
I like the statistics you gave above.
Meanwhile, almost half of those 72,000 registered doctors are no longer in Nigeria or practising(even Saraki and Ngige are part of the number), as people travel out almost every day.
Truly, the government has failed woefully to invest in and revive the health sector.
But there's need for individuals, groups, associations, etc, to get involved and invest massively in that sectors.
Where are our millionaires and billionaires?
Most of the well equipped hospitals abroad are privately owned.
And the owners are not necessarily doctors or other healthcare professionals.
The government can then play the role of subsidising it or providing insurance services.
For instance, government owned hospitals in India are almost as poorly equipped as our own in Nigeria, but there's massive investment in their private health sector.
Gigantic privately owned Indian hospitals are scattered all over the middle east.
The hospitals Nigerians patronize over there are privately owned, and that's why they pay hugely in terms of bills.
Our own problem is unique in that both the government and the citizens have failed to invest in the sector and there's no hope anywhere.
Modern medicine is capital intensive and technology driven, and what you put in is what you get.
That's what we're seeing in Nigeria today.

Exactly, we reap what we sow

thankless:
Although I am not a stranger to the fact that Nigeria is in bad shape, I got the rudest confirmation yet of this truth today, after experiencing first hand what it meant to have a patient in one's hands, in an emergency situation, and yet be made to wait in the merciless environment we call hospitals in Nigeria today, endlessly in a queue for hours, just to have a doctor attend to one...

It was like a scene from a war movie inwhich wounded soldiers were being evacuated to make shift hospital tents, patients were not allowed into the hospital (Lasuth, Ikeja), cars and ambulances lined the entrance to the emergency section, and we were sorrounded by poorly trained hospital personnel (one of which even got into a quarrel with the family member of a patient when, in response to the frustration of the man who had a dying patient, he asked the man to Bleep off) who didn't seem to care how critical the illness of most patients might be, so much so that a patient, a woman who only moments before was talking with her children, even died suddenly before our eyes.

In summary, I came to terms with how urgently who ever it is that is in control of Nigeria today, needed to declare a state of emergency on the health sector. Nigerian leaders should see this as an act of service, not just for Nigerians, but for themselves as well.

The day before had been hectic, from huge traffic to a car (though brand new) that suddenly developed a fault. And the patient was in pain and was having laboured breathing...After running all kinds of test costing almost 200k, after visiting about five hospitals, from Saint Ives in Ikeja through Eko Hospital to LASUTH, all of them in Nigeria's commercial capital, we were given all manner of reasons to turn us back, from "we only offer skeletal services" to "we have no bed spaces" and then to confirm that, we were shown some sick patients who were made to sleep on the bare floor...how can anyone, not to talk of doctors for that matter, turn away a sick patients who had difficulty breathing (please take note that it is not Covid 19, from the tests conducted we knew what the issue is) and was in pain? What sort of hospital does that?

Frustrated, I had to engage one of the doctors and some of the things I learnt shocked me.

Do you know that for a country of over 200 million people like Nigeria there are only 72,000 registered doctors in the country today? All the others have emigrated and continue to make plans to emigrate abraod in search of better opportunities because of poor working conditions here...and do you know that the rot in our health sector is due, mainly to massive corruption and sadly too, that it is still business as usual for those in charge of Nigeria today?

Our hospitals remain grossly inadequate, poorly equipped and underfunded. Today, for every 6,000 Nigerian patients, it is one doctor who attends to them in hospitals that are mere glorified First Aid centres. Yet, the World Health Organisation recommends a doctor to, at most 600 patients for every country, and there are even countries with 1 to, say, 20 or 30 patients.

Our primary health care system has collapsed. Even doctors who are patriotic enough to stay are not motivated, just name it, the problems are endless.

Despite a gross lack of basic amenities like potable water and electricity, medical supplies and equipments, we continue to see budgetary allocation by the Federal Government running into billions, where have all the funds gone?

Today, Nigerians who can afford to, escape overseas for medical tourism, including President Muhammadu Buhari, who is the biggest medical tourist from Nigeria until Covid 19 thought him how to stay glued to Aso Rock from where he now precides over the affairs of Nigeria.

As president, his vantage position saddles him with the task of providing a radical solution to this problem, yet, in the last 6 years, he has shown he prefers foreign hospitals and looking the other way as corruption ravages our health sector.

We don't need to go far memory lane too, to remember how, bringing late President Umaru Yar’Adua home nearly dead from a Saudi Arabia hospital in 2010, exposed the sordid and depressing state of our health sector. Covid 19 too has also confirmed what we already know about our health sector, yet our leaders seem helpless or choose inaction.

Nigerian universities have been training doctors for years, where have all the doctors gone? 72,000 doctors for a population of over 200 million people!

And because of this extreme shortage of doctors, nurses and quacks today set up thier own hospitals and yet continue to get massive patronage...it is on record that in this same country, a Chief of Staff to the president and a former governor both died because they could not be flown abraod for treatment. The list of public officials who run off abraod for treatment daily is endless.

And everyday, countless ordninary Nigerians die from avoidable causes, the government set up NHIS, corrupt politicans hijacked the program, and today, do not cease to embezzle monies deducted from Nigerian workers for NHIS, yet, we all carry on as if all is well...instead of declaring a state of emergency on the health sector, our senators are fighting NDDC, and Keyamo over issues that bothers on self interest and money...even the supposed head of our anti corruption agency, EFCC is in the dock for corruption himself...

When will Nigerians wake up and demand a nation that we all can be proud of? Is it when we are all dead?

GOD help US...

72000 is on the register, like 30000 have left nigeria, that leaves like 52000 who are also planning to leave as in seen in the frontpage.

So the reality is that the numbers are grimmer than that. This shortage has created an opening for quacks who step in to fufill a need for healthcare and earn cash on the side.

In the north, it's worse, in some states, they don't have up to 300 doctors, so what happens in remote areas?.

No doctor will want to go to a backwater village to earn peanuts and suffer. But some areas are now using NYSC as a way to exploit doctors who are unfortunate to be posted to remote areas.

It will come to a time where young doctors will choose not to go for service, especially those who plan to relocate abroad.

donromanus:
MY WIFE IS NURSING MY FIRST BABY.MISTAKENLY, SHE CONCEIVED AGAIN WHILE THE BABY IS NOW 8MONTHS OLD. SOME PEOPLE ARE ADVISING HER TO STOP BREASTFEEDING THE BABY.I AM ALSO CONFUSED. IS WEANING THE BEST OPTION HERE, OR IS THERE ANY MEDICATION OR DIET THAT CAN CONTROL THIS. HOW CAN MY WIFE AND MY BABY BE AFFECTED IF SHE CONTINUES TO BREASTFEED THE BABY.

THANK YOU ALL

she should keep breastfeeding until the new baby is born

I don't think there's any consequences, as long as she is not malnourished