₦airaland Forum

Magnoliaa:
More consolation tales. We know. Na bobo.

From a male LIB reader...


Please I need your advice before I go crazy finally. My wife of two years is finally pregnant now with our baby and it spans four months as we speak. The problem I have now is my wife farts uncontrollably everywhere, anywhere, almost every time. This has caused a big quarrel between us and she keeps telling me she can not control her anus anymore. This is crazy and baffling because I am seeing her in a different light from what I knew her to be.
She farts while i drive,whilst she cooks,during meals on the dining,whilst sleeping and the worst now is while we make love she farts smelly devilish things.i am up against the wall now because i do not think i love my wife anymore!she has messed herself up with this happenings and she keeps telling me the pregnancy has taken all strenght from her and she can not control her anus opening or closing as regards farts!can you imagine the trauma this has caused in our marriage?do pregnant women fart so much?what have i gotten myself into?

http://lindaikeji..com.ng/2015/09/dear-lib-readers-do-pregnant-women-fart.html

I'm not a doctor but I suspect that is a sign of diabetes...you need to regulate her diet. She needs to eat less carbs and more of fruits and veggies. If her farting is due to excess sugar then she could be at risk. You might want to visit the doctor with her and hear what the doctor has to say concerning this...and one more thing, remember she is your wife. She had an anus before you married her and we all know what the anus is good for...be a good husband and love your wife no matter what!

Magnoliaa:
Consolation tears, sha. I feel your pain. You'll survive.

Lol! I'm happily married...and I met her unspoiled! Many leaking holes looking for where to unload their frustration...

Badlyconfused:
Hello Nairalander,
A brother is absolutely confused for the past few days now.
Please forgive my grammar because I'm not in the right frame of mind.

My Fiancée is 3 weeks pregnant and since then, she has never been herself.

We planned getting married by next year January after I'd met with her parent and they agreed to the wedding plan.

The major problem is that she is a well-known person, and getting pregnant out of wedding luck is not what it's expected of her. I'm 35 and she is 27.

We both love each so much, there is nothing I can't give to her, same goes to her. In fact, she is perfect for me.
Left to me a lone, I'd prefer she keeps the pregnancy since I'm not longer a kid and she not either. But the trauma is changing her to the opposite of herself; she is losing it.

Instead of seeing her going through the trauma, I'd rather agreed with her to terminate the pregnancy. I can't afford to continue seeing her going through this.

I've agreed with her to abort it.
Here is the issue:

None of us has done this (abortion) before, and we don't know the right hospital to go to.
Abortion is still illegal in Nigeria even though some hospitals are still doing.

As Nairalanders would say, "what do you want us to do now?"

I'd like to know which hospital to visit.
Is it all hospitals that do it? If know, how do I know which hospital will be willing to help us out?

Please help a Nairalander out.

I know some people would say that why did we have unprotected sex when we're not ready for a baby. Well, it's a stupid thing I did and I take full responsibility for it.

Shit happens and I'm experiencing one.

If you decide to bash me for my foolishness, I'll gladly take it because I deserve it.

Are you a toddler? Don't abort that child, ode! If you are a Christian, you should know that according to the laws of God marriage starts at bethrotal/engagement. The very instant two people agree to a lifelong relationship, marriage has started...pay her bride price, forget about what anyone will say, wed her and move on...when you are not a compound fool how will you contemplate abortion and risk the life of the woman who offered her body to satisfy you. Don't be unfortunate. Pay the lad's bride price, wed her and keep the child.

AmazonTopaz:
Are you a vrigin?if you are not keep shut.This advice you are giving is it firsthand experience or beer parlor talk

nothing in law, morality or commonsense says I must be a virgin to marry a virgin. It is my choice to marry a virgin and I advice men to do the same and stop tolerating loose paddocks that can be opened by any key

The way you local boys think you can control women's bodies and sexual needs is annoying.Is it only men that have the right to taste multiple pussies before marriage and still cheat because they will say their wives pussies are slacked but when women give you a taste of your own medicine you will be talking trash that they should marry virgins.You are in for a long thing if you think virgins don't cheat you are obviously a novice feeling funky on nairaland.

I did not in any way allude to men having the sole right to stupidly go on a banging spree...women too have the right to be stupid as well but that does not in any way force me into a marriage with a fool that has shared her private part with all and sundry until her private part becomes a public utility

How do you men expect to marry virgins when you go about sleeping with everything on skirt who wan marry the women wey una dey fcck before marriage?Your kind of person will never date a virgin without fccking her but will come on nairaland to spill trash and give advice you cannot take.Instead of you to urge men to stop cheating because women don't fcck themselves you are here giving stupid rants about virgins who still cheat and get cheated on if they end up marrying dogs in form of men.

Well I speak for myself and other enlightened men who have risen above puerile teenage tendencies. I believe it is wrong for men and women to sleep around and I also believe it is dumb to subject yourself to the torture of marrying a public toilet. And if you purposely marry a public toilet please don't come on a public forum whining like a fool. You can't eat left over food with mould and not expect to have runny stomach. So when you decide to marry a sexually experienced leaking hole deal with the consequences

You are taking like as if you are a woman with first hand knowledge of how women reason but you are not you are just blabbing rubbish.As a woman I will give you the right information a woman who will cheat virgin or not will cheat it is not by the amount of dicks that will make her cheat but by the environment,personality and who knows the kind of man she marries can play a factor into it too.Stop making silly assumptions the OP's cousin may have even married his wife a virgin so thinking that marrying a virgin who is naive will not cheat only shows how novice you are when it comes to women.
Virgin's cheat? How can you know who a virgin is? I suspect you are not one yourself and that is why you are quite sensitive. A virgin is a sexual blank slate not a refurbished slut and contrary to popular expectation virgins exist. A slut is a slut and a virgin is a virgin and no matter how you try to conflate the two you will always arrive at a contradiction.

In a nut shell, it is foolishness marrying a slut and complaining that she is a slut...there are many men that know deep within them that the instant they step out of their house their wife becomes a restroom for randy neighbors, EXs, friends and even sometime family...an avenue for the public to relieve stress! Why must any man subject himself to such a life of emasculation...I say it again, if you must play safe as a man, marry a virgin. Let the sluts whine all they want but still go ahead and marry a virgin. When generations of ladies see that only virgins are getting married ladies will learn to close their legs until they are married!

Oh yes ohh!

zedegit:
Some of my observations on some married women have made me realize that no matter how religious or innocent your wife looks, never ever, I repeat never ever vouch for her faithfulness or loyalty to you.

My cousin's wife is cheating on him. I eavesdropped and somehow managed to get her phone calls to a man and how she was dying like a teenager on heat.

That is what happens when one insists on marrying a sexually experienced hoe instead of a virgin. Marry a virgin and you won't have any of these issues...a virgin is a blank slate. A virgin will easily adapt to the boundaries of pleasure, pain, wealth, lack etc set for her...but a hoe, is a public toilet, that has been with several men before she got married. She has had her boundaries set by multiple men and she may struggle with adapting to the boundaries set by her husband. Imagine a virgin that has not known any man. A 4-inch d**k will drive her nuts easily but an 6-inch husband will struggle to satisfy a hoe that can comfortably masturbate with the base of an empty bottle of Heineken. So if you want to play safe, marry a virgin and groom her to your taste but if you want to be unfortunate in life marry a hoe and you will share her with your classmates, bosses, neighbors, fake pastors, babalawo, alfas and ofcourse your close friends.

He gave me direction at a turbulent point in my life...I saw him in my dream and he gave me specific instructions that has led me till this very day and charts a course to my future! His words have been a source of inspiration. I learned what love really means from TB Joshua and I also had a more mature meaning of faith from him...his ministry deepened my knowledge and experience of the supernatural and its cryptic ways. TB Joshua was, is and will always be a blessing to me. Though many mourn, I thank the LORD for granting him peace from all his struggles on earth and I pray I am granted the grace to meet him again in the presence of the Lord GOD.

Jesuschristus:
Is that the problem of Nigeria.Most women lose virginity from age 13 or even lower,its okay for them to have sex with numerous abortions, but forbidden to get married,hypocrisy.To the guy below me,if u respect your own mother u won't come online to insult other peoples mothers ,especially when they did absolutely nothing wrong

Sex with an underage persons should be criminalised. I think both Muslims and Christians should be able to agree with that!

Everfrank:
They should seek for a ban on under age sex and pregnancy instead.

Correct. That is a more sensible policy.

...hmm

tensazangetsu20:
So give or take 3 years. Almost 11 years to earn 500K. Well its better than earning pennies down south sha if one can manage boko haram and bandits.

When the will to act is absent, excuses become king...many civilians are moving into Maiduguri to take up high paying jobs not to talk of other less insecure states in the north...and since you are too big to earn 500k+ then you have to find your way abroad ohhh...e be like sey you be boss already wey dey complain about naija. Abeg carry your kaya begin go Canada or US, leave naija for less privilege folks wey still dey struggle...see as you come dey talk like sey you dey suffer!

tensazangetsu20:
.
So someone will do MBBS 6 to 8 years due to strike issues then go and do another course 4 years to go work In the most insecure region in Nigeria. Make it make sense please.

With your MBBS, you can do a 1 year PGD in Economics and 2 year MSc Health Economics...so you don't have to do 4 years and dude you can stay in the south and whine all you want when your mates are in the north cashing out on the problems in the north that are being tackled by grant funded research...there are folks who don't know half of what you currently know yet they are doing jobs where they are paid 500k+...so you can stay in the south and whine and complain or you get out of the country and find your way to Canada or US or you man up quit making excuses, take the bull by the horn study some more and find your way to the insecure region where there are tons of lily livered folks cashing out like craze!

Na who go give you target for grant funded research? Na who go sey make you go bring client or canvass for customers? Millions of dollars are pouring into the north yearly and less educated folks are cashing out. Even if you no wan do PGD + MSc, you can basically just do any professional programme in M&E that will take you less than a year...instead of bingeing on excuses, take action!

if you combine your MBBS with a degree in health economics you instantly become a hot cake in the north where they need researchers, M&E professionals etc to handle grant funded research...in the end your MBBS is not entirely useless in Nigeria unless you bought the degree!

Yusufisraelj:
Offkos for me too, community pussy is a big NO NO.

However what I'm driving at is that, if you want a faithful lady, stay true to yourself and learn to spot and deal only at that level. Not to want faithfulness and behaving like a swinging pendulum.

Seconded!

Yusufisraelj:
@TRUTHISLIFEE

You are a reckless brother. I'm not economical with words bkos, you definitely lack direction as to how to handle relational issues.

How will you make out with someone's lady?

You asked her out and she refused, let her be then if you truly want to do what's right.

That's how one lady wanted me to double date, after she has someone she's taken to her parent, the very next day she got from my response that it's a NO NO for me.

What sort of flippant story and concern are you posting here.

Guy have values and what you stand for, I've come to realize that when you are false or sincere and have not worked on yourself to spot bad people and keep away from them, you will experience plenty pain and delay down the line.

I can't tell you how to live, but there's peace in being straight. Imagine during those randy time you would have found one decent girl and settle with and build meaning together, you want community pussy. Continue.....

Did you read his post? He didn't force the lady. The lady handed him conditions, why did she do that? Why didn't she stay true to her man? She is a public toilet, the OP was pressed and needed to relieve himself badly and she made her toilet life available to be used...and the OP observed another guy using her toilet as well...so you would expect OP to wed a public toilet...no way! Public toilets are to be used and dumped...

Bhus21:
The challenge with infidelity is that it makes you question everything. For example, someone asked what our sex life was like. I would have said good before now but after her stepping out it's hard to know. By her own admission, she didn't have issues with our sex life, if anything I wasn't getting as much as I would have liked but was ok with it. Whether she's satisfied by them, it's only her that can answer that truly. It wouldn't be uncommon however for us to make love for over an hour.

The sex with the other guy was of course a pleasurable experience for her as it's forbidden fruit and will always be impossible to compete with. Challenge now is that she has a new reference point that wasn't there before. This will make sex between us more complex as it may not ever compare to the highs of the forbidden new guy who wanted to do his best to please her. And by her account he did. So yeah, a difficult situation to be in.

The other guy is also relentless in his pursuit and actively lured and chased her knowing fully well of my existence. I also warned her of the danger of the guy so she didn't heed my warnings, so, yea, there are a lot of things to unpack. She's doing therapy now and we will soon go to counselling together to find a way to get past this hurt and chart what the new relationship will look like. Whether it will be together or apart, only time will tell.

...therapy? Lol

Janosky:
Bros, was she a virgin when you married her?
Whether yes or no,it's of little relevance now.
You got her pregnant 3 times but maybe you have failed to hit her center of gravity even once.
Women rarely leave a man who shag their brains out.


Now she's finally found a freak to do collabo in the other room, she's not gonna come back to your loving arms.
(Abeg you must do Paternity Test, I no trust wetin my mind dey tell me about that woman).


Learn from the experience and live without a bitter heart towards women.

Likely she wasn't meant for you but you failed to read the writing on the wall.

Just let her go & pick up the pieces and move on.

yea...because some men have the monopoly of shagging women's brains out...and besides sex is not the only reason for infidelity among women!

Bhus21:
A few posters think this is a made-up scenario. Even me in the situation the thing be me like film. I keep thinking I will pinch myself one day and wake up from this nightmare.

What's worse is is that you don't even know near half of the story. For example, the fact that I warned her about the guy before. Cried and begged her to stay away from him. She didn't listen and went ahead to sleep with him. So the betrayal is a very deep one.

One poster said I am a weak man. I can tell you for a fact that the easiest thing to do is to walk away and not look back. I am young, successful, and attractive so a new relationship is the least of my worries. My biggest concern, and why I'm trying to act rationally is because of our 3 young kids. They are innocent and didn't ask for any of this so I'm trying to ensure their well-being. If we divorce, we are going to rip their world apart so suddenly and cruelly. No kid deserves that at all.

Dude I can relate...but I will advice you to let her go. You could be risking your life by trying to hold on to her. She has been beguiled and she obviously thinks she knows what she is doing but I assure you that soon enough she will reach her wits end like the prodigal son who abandoned the life of a prince just so he can live outside of the confines of a kingdom and enjoy all kinds of proclivities. We all know how the story of the prodigal son ended. My case was like that. I was in and out of relationships because despite my attempts to be good and caring, I was not attractive enough financially...and this broke me badly! Nevertheless after those ladies tasted the hard life they returned to me one after the other but unfortunately for them I had moved on...I will suggest that you let this lady go. Try to disconnect from her (texts, pictures etc). This decision will break you but it is the only option before you. Please do not rush into another relationship with a broken heart because you will likely get into another shitty relationship. Take your time to heal. Support your children. Be around godly friends and acquaintances. Worship GOD more if you are a person of faith. Engage in acts of charity. Have hobbies. Learn a new art for the fun of it...these actions will help you heal...you wife will soon learn of her stupidity!

Winneygirl:
Take some time.
Have a heart to heart talk with her. So you ask the questions that are burning in your heart.
So you can know if your marriage is salvageable...
That is the first step.

...there is nothing salvageable in the marriage...if the lady could sleep with someone, boldly declare that she did it and ask for a divorce, then they have had all the communication necessary and the marriage is already terminated...the man needs to let her go, dedicate sufficient time to healing, join functional social groups that would be a good buffer for him and move on!

Jeon:
I'm in a relationship which I proposed with a ring already with this knelling down of a thing though I did it while in school ( same class).

Even though I have always been in charge of the relationship, I found out that she was raised by only her mother and so have no father like experience while growing up, she will always provide anything I need with a very innocent mind.

The challenge now is that I found out I really have made up my mind to marry her earlier but reality hitting me now is that she's not satisfying me sexually at all because I could not penetrate through her Virginia only robbing my thing on the surface, sincerely I've done all my possible best.

Is as if she's not fully developed down there and I'm not finding it funny at all.

The pain she complained of during my trying to penetrate her during sex is unbearable and very unlike of virgin related thing

Her mom and my parents and most of my friend and hers already knows about the proposer thing because one of one of her loose friend publicized it.

She was a virgin when I met her and I've went/ going through hell in making love with her since I made her realised I can't play mumu of no sex till marriage and she agreed.

She's very caring, but I discover I don't enjoy or will ever enjoy sex life with her.

Now after thinking of what possible exit way to end the relationship, I told her my genotype is AS knowing fully while that hers also is AS.

I told her I won't want to suffer my kids if I will have one and so we will have to end the relationship.

She has been crying and trying to convinced my that one miracle would happen and that we should go and do another test in different hospitals to further confirm is the earlier result is correct.

I told her we should be ready to end the relationship by month end.

Can I get further insight or contribution ?

You are a boy trying to enter the domain of adults...is this how you will address every problem in your marriage by running away? I will advice you to never get married and just continue with your boyfriend-girlfriend trash or better still consider patronizing prostitutes. These are better options for you which are much better than you getting married to an unfortunate lady, getting her pregnant and abandoning her and the children at the first sight of a challenge! You claim the lady you are about to dump does not have a father-figure, I doubt you had either a father-figure or mother-figure...because if you had any courtesy and any conscience you would have considered discussing the problem with the lady, seeking medical counsel and advice from elderly relatives and arriving at a solution instead of lying and running away! The lady you will meet next will be a refurbished olosho, she will give you good sex and because of that you will plunge into a marriage and 3 years down the line you will realize that your first born is not yours...just don't come here then telling us you are attempting suicide because me I will order sniper for you from jumia!

sokkatua:
Hi fellow Nairalanders, I want to share my story with you. I have been living in Canada for over 20 years, unfortunately, a Nigerian girl whom I love very much broke my heart in 2005, I was disillusioned and almost died from the depression. In 2007, my father, God rest his soul decided to introduce me to his doctor, a fresh graduate of the nation's premier university. I instantly fell in love with her, we would talk for hours, my phone bill was astronomical, unfortunately, in 2008 I was arrested in a caribean country for attempted smuggling. My wife patiently waited for me till I got out in 2012. We got married and had a daughter, but because of my criminal past, I could not sponsor my wife and daughter till 2019, so I had to travel to Nigeria every year to visit them.
To cut the long story short, i spent almost 15K dollars altogether, everything was great in the beginning but then I lost my 60k a year job in 2020 and that was the beginning of the end of my marriage. My wife would leave home for two days claiming she's working overtime, she would cook for my daughter but not for me , we longer communicate in the house, she refuses to contribute anything towards mortgage or bills because according to her, it's man's job to pay for everything even though I m only making minimum wage working as a concierge. A particular guy drops her off every time she goes to work and when i asked her who he is , she went into a tirade questioning my rights to question her.I tolerated her effrontery till three weeks ago when she was boldly telling a guy she loves him right in front of me . I lost my cool and I ended up in jail for 3 days . Right now I m not allowed to go back to the house or contact my daughter whom she now claims is not mine .I have decided to return to Nigeria with the 25k left in my account,i cant go back to prison again because prisoners often targets anyone accused of harming a woman or a child. I'm appealing to anyone to please hook me up with a job or any hustle in Nigeria.

Your problem is you plunged into a marriage without repairing yourself first. Do you seriously think a life of crime will not attract all kinds of crazy stuff to you? You need to take time to reflect on your past, repent of your wrongs, make a conscious decision never to do crime, ponder on a cause worth living and dying for, put your finances in shape and get ready to restart your life. If you put yourself on a such a course you will find a partner who can help you. Do well to confess your past to your new spouse when you meet her. Never woo a lady with your finances or wealth. That's a dumb practice. Never hide your struggles from your would be partner. Yet never hide your strengths. The lady who is willing to help you mend your life after knowing your past and seeing your present struggles and stengths will highly likely be your wife...

"it is never too late to be what you might have been"
George Eliot

Smile4mee01:
In Addition to what many other Nairalanders have said.

I think Life in general is getting harder for Men and relationships are getting tougher on women. With world population growing and resources thinning, this will get worse.

Also, women have evolved. Women have become more educated, financially ok, female rights. And men have not adapted to this. Women expectation have also gone up. Social media has not helped kinda.

Sometimes, we complicate relationships and marriage. Some men have no energy and resources for trad wedding, white wedding, court wedding, introduction, registry and still have no guarantee that they will find happiness there.

The matter deep

Which growing world population? In China, Canada, Japan, US and many other countries they are complaining of ageing population...as Elon Musk claims that one of the existential threats facing the human race is population collapse! The main problem with relationships and marriage is the evil nature of humans. A couple would profess undying love before they get married when they are both still deceiving themselves but 6 months into the marriage both partners no longer feel the need to pretend so they unleash the darkness in them until the divorce happens! Hear from Elon on population collapse:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44Klhl81K7g

@roteblomen decent people remain single because indecent people are abundant...there are more men who won't mind sleeping with their wives' sisters if the act can be concealed and there are more women who can get pregnant for a random stranger and dump the child on the unsuspecting husband...if before the 21st century, for good men and good women, getting a good spouse was like finding a pin in a haystack, well in the 21st century getting a good spouse is like finding a pin in a stack of pins...

but ofcourse this will likely be buried as usual!

A group of so called eminent virologists came together to publish a letter, not a research paper, how idiotic, saying that the COVID-19 virus did not emanate from the Wuhan Virology Lab which was at the time working on a "gain-of-function" research on coronaviruses funded by the NIH, USA which was a potentially deadly research. Now these league of well educated virologists foolsophers are beginning to get exposed as it has become clear that some of them have conflicts of interests which they failed to disclose. Could it be true that NIH funded the research into coronaviruses in Wuhan that has killed hundreds of thousands of people all around the world, plunged many into economic hardships and made many economies struggle to recover? If it is then those involved need to be brought to justice. We need to start hearing of the people culpable in this mass slaughter, sentenced to death by coronavirus infection.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OlO8sKRynBY

What would you call a man who in a bid to attend his own traditional wedding, was to travel from Kano to Delta by road. He left from Kano 7am to Abuja 1pm. Due to scarcity of vehicles going to Delta straight he boarded a vehicle from Abuja 3pm to Edo state and reached Auchi by 9am. He did not find a vehicle to board until it was 11pm he joined the last bus heading to Ikpoba Hill, Edo state. On his way the vehicle he boarded ran into a trap set by armed robbers/kidnappers but the driver of his vehicle was able to manoeuvre his way past the blockade and escaped. He arrived Ikpoba Hill by 2am and by 2:30am he joined a vehicle heading to Delta. He arrived Delta around 4am. Now his parents had arrived Delta early and they were already asleep. The Bride to be was asleep. The in laws to be were all asleep...but this guy managed to locate and check into the hotel he had booked earlier. In a state he had only visited once.

Now this is my simple question, which of the following options best qualifies this guy:

A). A guy consumed by the love of his would be wife that he willing to risk his life to attend a trad. wedding. Every man should be like this.

B). A compound fool who could have lost his life and the bride to be would have wedded someone else. No man should be like this.

C). None of the above.

Oya ohhh....I'm polling! Please post your response.

Speechless...

In Nigeria? More than one BSc.? Am I a masochist?

In my own opinion anyone in Nigeria brandishing a rifle is a threat to life and property...whether uniformed or not, say your prayers the moment when you encounter a Nigerian with a rifle because that moment may easily be your last...

Jesuschristus:
Baba ijesha is a christian pedophile and childmolester,nobody will drag his religion bcs he is a Christian. Even when no Muslim is involved they will still bring Muslim into it ,like the poster below me.

But Muhammad married a six year old na...and his people are following in his footsteps!