₦airaland Forum

touchalex25:
1. There is one reason why I don't agree with you on this, people shouldn't wait till they have kids or about to have kids before they start making plans for them. I got inspire by a colleague of my 2 years ago, this guy who is still very much single already has savings account set up for children welfare. That is omeone that is planning ahead, granted life throws unexpected challenges at us but many of these begging kids were born by parents when they knew they had zero naira to take care of them.

marveangel:
Sorry about the PHD thesis believe me I didn't set out to write a "thesis" but what I saw was heartbreaking and depressing I just need people to see that they are already running these little kids life by bringing them into this world when they know they can't take care of them. These kids have very limited opportunity to ever become something great in the future and that's just the truth. I don't like when kids are mad the suffer for the silly mistakes/decisions of their parents

marveangel:
https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-O3UvtsxMB_0/YOA_leQgs4I/AAAAAAAAAKc/C3flPZbtq7cffnJdj0RLR-6InY1o8x12ACLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/1625309074884849-0.png

I saw this picture on Quora some days back and for some reason it just annoyed me.

See I'm not trying to be cynical or insensitive here and I know that what I have to say might not go down well with most people but just for a moment let's toss sentiments aside and try to reason this issue in a purely logical way without emotions.



To be sure, parenting is a wonderful thing (or so I'm told- still very much single here) it's a beautiful thing to bring a child into this world, children are a blessing and whatnot but these blessings are also responsibilities and especially if you are in Nigeria chances are no government health care plan for kids so the sole responsibility of providing for this "boundle of joy" is entirely up to you and your spouse.

Now I know that parenting is about making sacrifice for your kids, trying your best to give them the kind of life you never had or a life better than the one you had, and we all love our parents for all the sacrifices they made to bring us this far in life but this is 2021, and I want us to have an open mind and consider this, wouldn't life be a lot easier if parents only give birth to children when they are financially capable to fully take good care of them, by take good care I mean give them the basic things in life- good food, quality education, shelter, good clothes and their size of shoes.

All these talk about sacrife and going to bed hungry so your kids can eat would be no more, you don't have to go to bed hungry just because you have kids, you should be able to guarantee that both you and your kid(s) can have 3 square meal daily before you bring them into this world.

That is what a responsible adult should do. I think it is gross irrespobility for any adult who isn't financial capable of giving him/herself a good life to bring in another into this life. If your defense is that "God will provide or what your religion says- then shame on you, you are just a fool who is using religion or customs and traditions to cover up for your irrespobility.

Growing up I would here people say "Na God dy take care of children" as far as I'm concerned that's just nonsense. God won't "MoneyGram" money to you for buy diaper or baby food or pay school fees. If you bring in kids into this life when you are unable to financial take care of them you are not only punishing the kids, you are also indirectly inflicting huge financial burden to those family and friends you will keep running day and night to for money.

Last week on my way to work (my very underpaid job which gives me little or no time to do anything else) I encountered these almjiri( that is what they are called right?) Those Fulani kids whose only job is to beg day and night for alms-just so you know- I don't give them anything, I used to till I realize that the moment you give one of them something the rest sorround you like flies to faeces and worse of, the kids don't even get to keep the money you give them, once they collect the money from you they go running back to remit to their parents or whoever is in charge.

I briskly walk past them with my ear phones plugged in my ears listening to Rema singing about how he is from another dimension (my favorites line from that song is "bad man no threaten me, you no fit kill a man when don die before) , one particular child grab onto my wrist, this Fulani or Niger girl not more than 6-7 years old grab my wrist, I could she her lips moving obviously she was uttering some kind of prayer, I didn't give her a second look and after about 8-10 steps she got the message I wasn't going to give her a dime, so she let go of my wrist and turned back.

I continued on my journey trying to quickly get the be park so I get a bus and continue on my journey to work, but then in my mind I thought, today is a school day that little child is not in school,she looked so unkept, in her worn out and tattered clothes. I pondered on- she isn't in school, she isn't learning a skill or a trade, what does the future hold for her, what kind of life would she have- I remember myself around that age or a little older I had dreams, things I wanted to be when I grew up, I wonder if this child could even afford to dream, if indeed she even knew how to dream of a better life or any life at all other than what she had now.

Begging- that was all she knew, all she could do, all she knew how to do, holding on the strange people uttering words of prayer she probably doesn't even understand just to get anything from them.

This was her life maybe this would be all she ever amounts to, she didn't have a choice those that could have chosen a better path for her didn't, they knew, they knew that if they had her this would be her life but they didn't care they still brought her into this life.

Her parents had brought her into this life knowing fully well that they were not able to provide the very basic things in life for here (food, clothes, shelter, basic education). They knew that these things were not on the offering yet they chose to bring this innocent child into this already cruel world. Why?

I turned around, I wanted to go grab her and and order her to lead me to her parents I was going to give them a piece of my mind, but when I cast my eyes in the direction from where she appeared earlier I counted not less than 11 children of similar age doing exactly the same thing she was doing. My heart sank, my anger evaporated and in its place was pure pity, I felt sorry for these kids, no child deserves such a life and as much as it pained me there was nothing only I could do to end this. So I bought a chilled bottle of Pepsi, beckoned to the little girl earlier and handed the soft drink to her and continued on my journey.

I think it is sheer wickedness in this present day and age for anyone to bring a child into this world when you aren't financial stable enough to carter for one.

I'm not saying you have to have millions in your account, but you should at least have a sustainable source of livelihood before you think about bringing a child to this world.

I'm tired of tales of parents going to bed hungry so kids can eat, tired of parents begging so their kids can eat. Tired of kids begging so their parents can eat, These things can be avoided, you don't have to bring a child into this world if you can't provide the basic things for them, no one is holding a gun to your head, be reasonable, be logical and be practical- with everything happening in the society today I personally consider it as an act of wickedness for anyone to subject an innocent child to a life of uncertainty just because....


FINAL NOTE
...there is no final note, I'm too pissed to right now plus I hate that I'm so powerless to help the situation. Please be wise and only give birth to kids you can take care of and if you have more than enough adopt and help these kids get a better life. Yours truly "Broke Yahoo Boy'.

Hello nairalanders,

I won't say it's my friend sister or whatever,it's me. It's my question

For 5years of marriage, it's been conflicting about this church matter.

Where in the Bible did they say it's compulsory for the wife to go to the husband's church? I attended dominion city, and he attends redeem (RCCG), I tried for the first two years to follow him to redeem, but I couldn't feel it, every Sunday it's like going and coming from a wedding not a church, that feeling of feeling the Holy Spirit and being blessed is not there, I don't know who understands this feeling.

I talked to him in d third year he allowed me go back to my dominion city, and in d fourth year he stopped me again, I'm a worker there o, now till the fifth year I'm still forced to attend redeem, I have tried my best to open my heart to the church but no way...

Their ways just tire me at redeem, I miss the love, togetherness, prayers, worship and preaching at dominion city. Please I'm sorry I mentioned the name of churches i know some people love redeem, so I'm sorry.

Now for a month now, I have not gone to any church, and I'm tired of the whole thing, please matured advice needed.


Thanks

illicit:
I don't understand

Can't they pass Ibadan to Ondo and then to Benin?

BrazilaAirporta:
I don't know where to start talking from. I am in debt, I live an apprehensive life.
I barely have a home to lay my head. I don't know what I am doing and I am lost.
Nothing is working for me.
Sometimes it feels like I have done something wrong in my past life or maybe Some forces beyond me are in control. I have prayed and fasted, knelt in the midst of prophets, burnt alot of candles. Instead of things to get better, it keeps getting worse.
I am unhappy and depressed

derindel:
I am 21 years old, I am rounding off my ND program by the grace of God in September. I have found someone that love me truly and He wants to get married to me. He has proposed and I have accepted, but my father and my siblings are against the marriage holding on the ground that they feels that I am too young to get married and they want me to further and get my HND. My father has refused to meet him in person or any of his envoys.

It is necessary for me to mention that my family has not being financially stable for a long time which has made it difficult for them to fully support my educational pursuit, leaving me to depend on my efforts and others. This has made me do some unprintable things that I am not proud of which my family did not even know about.

Since I met this guy, my life and his has been growing well. He accepted me the way I am. He love me genuinely and cherishes me. His dying business also resurrected and we are getting more closer to God than we were. He is the type that loves education. He has promised to further my education to whatever level I desire but my family will not want to hear of this or even see him. All they are after is that I should wait for more years.

The problem is that he is 34 and he said he cannot wait anymore and that he he has done his part. It is left for me to choose between him and my father's desire for me.

I love my family but I have found the man I want to build my future with and I don't want to become a runs girl in order to further my education. Please somebody should advice me before I do something stupid. I need advice desperately.

Salvado1:
Another guy had sex with her, what should I do pls?

AmancalledGod:
Nothing will make me fvck raw again for this life, i have spent like 85k treating infection, yet is still there e never still go?
I'm tired, girls are really evil

Nacoss25:
Good day my people. Ignore my wrong sentences please.
It all started like this.
On Sunday my wife wore a dress am uncomfortable with and which is unexpected of a married woman(I mean the gown was too short), when we came back from church I told her never to where such dress again to church she then picked offence that I always complain about her dress being too short, (My wife love skimpy dresses alot which I don't like) I was still talking she walked out on me went and stayed outside like someone who was chased out of the house, she stayed outside for about an hour and later came in and started dressing up to go for an evening program in church, I then told her not to go to anywhere in need us to talk, why I told her not to go is so we can settle the issues. She insisted that she must go that I can't stop her, I repeated my statement telling her not to go that I want us to talk she insisted on going. While she was about to leave I forcefully siezed the house keys from her and let her go, this happened around 5.30pm.
I love seeing my woman in short dresses but not wearing them to church.
On reaching the time she is expected to come back home around 7.30pm I left the house without dropping the house keys anywhere to a hotel and lodged there, she waited outside still around 10pm and sent me a text that do I want to sleep outside I did not reply her, she now called Me i picked and told her to go and sleep where she went to since she has the guts to disrespect mess her husband that am in a hotel at the moment to pass the night there and ended the call she called till 11pm and also sent text messages begging for forgiveness, she then called my younger brother who then called me too begging me to go back home I never picked her call and I switched off my phone.
I came back home around 5am only to discover that she slept on a bench in the veranda.
My people I want ask a question.
Don't I as a husband have the right to tell my wife not to dress certain way or don't I have the right to tell her not to go out, mind you am not the authoritative kind of husband but on this one I need to stamp my authority as the head of my family.
My wife is a good woman and I love so so much, I just needed to discipline her.
Our marriage is two months old.

Kobojunkie:
Dude, I suggest you are saying some seriously blasphemous stuff here without even realizing it.

The one you call the Holy Ghost is God Almighty Himself and No man can lay claims on Him or control Almighty God in anyway or delusion.

Kobojunkie:
Why wait for a denomination organizes mass water baptism ceremony of sorts when you can help yourself right their in your own bathtub or anywhere else you feel comfortable, and with someone who you believe is competent enough?

ozome15:
So are trying to say that tithing is not as effitve as giving arms, to the need

advanceDNA:
The baptism of the holy ghost isn’t the flesh and blood of Jesus we eat at will...

I believe the outpouring of the spirit is something God does at his own will to those yearning to do God’s will....not at the control of any one...it can happen during any service as long as the person has been craving, waiting for it....:

Yes..a pastor can say those that want to experience the baptism should come for a special service...but u and I know those that are not even craving, or waiting in anyway will show up and later claim nothing happened......they are the ones that will later become atheists claiming all na fake..

AntiChristian:
Going for my first jab this morning in shaa Allah!

Fiscus105:
Neither I'm here to argue with you, I know you are talking base of ur age, ur gragra strength will fade away one day and it fades?

If ffk and dino keep trying to get woman after successful failure in marriage, how much less you.

rosalieene:
And in another news,
A man just beat his wife to death in Benin this night.

onadana:
I walked away. Am the better for it.After circumnavigation and touring..guess what? I knew she would be back.There are boys,but real men...husband's are scarce.Am one of those rare species.I said..NO...I enjoy so much peace and quiet now.No dramas,no controversies.

Haywhymido:
Godly wife for this generation? Na u go tire

SegFault:
What a stupid story, instead of sending professional assassins she turned to a common girl who could have just told the husband or gone to the police, if she told the husband self and had laid down good proof the husband would have elevated her from side chick to mistress. Rubbish

Nwodosis:
Babe or a wife? Nobody owns any babe o, they all belog to the public.

Temmylee01:
How do you tell your newly girlfriend her pu¢$y is smelling without offending her so that she can treat herself?




Lalasticlala
Xenry
Infolenka
Truvelisback
Slimkahlifa


Make it rain.

FreeSpirited:
no sex before marriage because I'm a virgin..until marriage night, to find out he's drowning in Atlantic deep ocean

Rozcol:
I don't know where you all originate from but in my family we marry as virgins and it has been a tradition for us from our great great great grandmother. Forget how we may appear or how you view us but the females in my family are intact and only our fathers has the key to our iron pants,if you so wish to unlock it and have access go meet our dad's and demand the key from them.It has been our long kept family secret and by the grace of God we will continued to transfer this legacy to our female children, we marry very early too.So stop the general condemnation

shesawesome:
Do we still have men like this?

Masturbator2020:
Nan,I didn't at all..I was not sure if I will marry her,so to disvirgin her when I was not sure of marrying her was not pleasant to me.

SocialJustice:
Virgins are mostly useless.