₦airaland Forum

!amebo no1:
that is why i said i give what i want and not what the guy wants, some men are so pathetic, i mean you dont expect or wait for a woman to pay the bills, or put pressure on her, she will do it if she wants . for goodness sake no man should wait on a woman for financial help, the woman can help, but dont see it as a responsibility or she must do it

A man marries a woman to take care of her and not to share the bills with her

I think this is selfish.
Just pray your prospective husband doesn't get to know about this your world view unless your getting no husband. I tell you.

Why is everybody stressing TRUST. Is trust the issue here. No matter how your wife trusts you, you think she will be happy you going for lunch with a girl everytime. We are only able to behave ourself if we remove ourselves from things that would tempt us.

@Poster. This is not about trust, its about not putting her in a position that will make her tempted to fall for the colleague. Am sure if Samson was not spending time with Delilah he would not have given her the information he knew she wanted to use to destroy him.

Like ppl are suggesting try and get her a car and if you cannot, let her use public transport for now. am sure she won't the only one. Don't put her through unneccessary temptation.

quote author=gongo aso link=topic=347506.msg4891170#msg4891170 date=1257793568]
chief, no lying here. that analogy of comparing the distance to benin and kwara no go work
you are acting on hearsay, am telling fact. used to shuttle that axis while i was in the country last. this is as recent as august.
never spent more than 4hrs.
cept there is hold up along iwo road axis. even then there are alternative routes through the city.
haba. 7hrs ke?
bullocks.


[quote][/quote]I think there is some confusion here. Do you pass through Benin while going to Kwara? I
heard there is no road btw Ore and Benin. That there is always a loooooooooooooooong queue of vehices caused by the cars trying to negotiate through gullies on the road. Infact the way the story went it won't take you less than 9hrs to get to Onitsha. I know Onitsha is about 2hrs from Benin(that road is good), so i think am going with the guy that says 7hrs to Benin. But mind you i said not less than 9hrs to Onitsha, which means it could be more.

queenesthr:
Even if he stops giving her the ride, they are still colleagues, right? They will still spend the day together in the same office, hope you catch my drift?

They won't have as much idle/alone time as they would have while driving to work and back. Morever women like cars, feelings develop when they are in the comfort of a car

@ poster
this is tough.

I hope you have a car atleast. If you have, maybe you can be dropping her at a convenient bus stop. I don't subscribe her joining her colleague everyday. Somedays maybe, but not everyday. A lot of closeness can be developed by staying together  in "holdups" and i know women can be vulnerable to comfort. Before you know it she is developing some likeness/love for the colleague, and if the colleague is randy,

Seriously think of how you would get a car for her or be dropping her off. In the interim let her manage  public transport. Afterall she knew level before marrying you. And moreover we are Africans. Personally i would not like to be giving a married woman ride everyday.

I believe Tos has given you an answer, what are u still asking.

@ poster
I'll advice you to concentrate on keeping your job. News going round says banks are laying off. Don't waste the money you have now on playing, invest it.

Who are all these ppl talking about love. Love cannot exist if the other options are not available. Love is the manifestation of all the other factors ranging from looks, trust, communication, sexual compatibility, sense of humour e.t.c. Guys get real, you will certainly love someone you trust, can communicate with, has a sense the sense of humour you like.

By the way i don't believe in love at first sight. You could like the person's looks, but if you guys cannot communicate, you don't trust the person, the so called love will fly out of the window. Love develops as you relate with the person and find out that you guys have somethings in common,
So i think i will take, LOOKS, TRUST, COMMUNICATION, SEXUAL COMPATIBILITY(sex is important, i mean thats about the only game couples spend time playing together, so it got to be good).

We all make mistakes while doing our jobs but ATC is one job that CANNOT afford mistakes. Thank God the planes had were able to avert a disaster. I've always had that fear while flying, What if the ATC asks two planes,one to take off and the other to land at the same time. Na God sha.

rich man:
IF you are unfortunatete to boad a vehicle carrying contradbands goods it takes up 10hrs cos the police will stop the driver to 1k in check point. plus the valley on the road. pls note: (not port holes but valley) so be careful

the road is slated for construction year 2020 according the 7 point agenda.

Lol
I heard it takes 2days to get to most parts of east from Lagos now. Like someone said the airlines are making a kill from this. Was planning on driving to east with a couple of friends but with what i've heard, won't try it. Heard the state of the road is good bad enough to reck a jeep.

@ Poster

You are an insecure dude. You need to know that your a unique and special person. Look for a girl that really loves and appreciates you. Am sure there is something special in you. Like you rightly mentioned,some girls are virgins are virgins because of no opportunity. In that case do you believe you will remain the only one if she gets the opportunity in future even if you were the one that disvirgined her. Just look for a girl that is respectful and appreciates you. That kind of girl will appreciate your small smthing knowing its hers and hers alone. They talk say "monkey no fine but im mama like am". Am not saying ur not fine or anything like that. Am only saying a good girl will love and cherish her husband, because he is her husband.

Nls, Anybody used Lagos-Ore-Benin expressroad recently. Whats the state of the road?

jay bee:
why not just paste a pic of u driving your aston on here?

concur

Your brother is seriously disrespecting you. Infact i feel that disrespecting my wife is far worse than disrespecting me. That he is your brother, does it give him the right to disrespect you. Why should he say you don't treat him well. Why do you tolerate such ungratefulness. Your wife is having problems with your brother simply because she is doing what your are supposed to do(let him know you would not tolerate such disrespect and ungratefulness in your house). And he will continue behaving that way because he does not understand why she is complain when you have kept mute about his behaviour, afterall your his elder brother and the head of the family. Save your wife all the wahala by handling your family matter. Your brother's behaviour am sure is not something that started over night, you have tolerated it and it has grown worse to this extent.

ObamaUS:
HiTV online payment is pure rubbish, i made payment online with my GT bank card and into their GT account directly and I was sent an email that the transaction was successful,

More than 24 hours later, I have not been connected and i did it purposely to watch MANUTD/ARSENAL game today, God help them if i miss that match today, I would just break the HiTV smart card and that would be the end of HiTV in my house.

HITV is the worst cable TV i have ever seen in my life, their customer care no is always engaged, it takes eternity to get them and when you eventually get them,their morally bankrupt staff are so clueless,

Besides the sport channels,all other channels are nonsense, u cant check the next programme they have. To me, NTA is better than the whole HITV sef, I am so angry.

I know HITV payment is good. infact its better than DSTV. I have a friend who used their online the other day and it worked perfectly for him.Try putting ur smart card on another decoder first. They call it boosting. They say some of their decoders have that problem when u don't use it for a while, so use it on another decoder first. Their payment is one thing we can commend HITV on.It was really smooth when i was still using it. Unfortunately this increment in price has mademe to forego them atleast for now.

Desperation in banks
• Now send their staffers to debtors’ companies to collect daily returns
• EFCC begins auction of debtors’ assets next week
• CBN governor risk sanction, if…
By HENRY UMAHI, VINCENT UKPONG KALU, OLAITAN ABUDIORE and VIVIAN ONYEBUKWA
Saturday, August 29, 2009

With the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission breathing down their necks over non-performing loans, banks have started desperate moves to recover loans, including those which are not even due. Also, various banks have frozen the accounts of individuals and companies they lent money.

Saturday Sun gathered that ever since the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) sacked five bank managing directors as well as published the names of debtor companies and individuals, banks have set up a task force on loan recovery. This had become even more so since the EFCC is working on the theory that most of the loans were given to proxies of bank officials.

Sources revealed that in this loan recovery drive, many of the banks are using both orthodox and unorthodox methods. In the process, it was gathered that many of the bank customers have been embarrassed.
A source at First Bank revealed that since the CBN action, the banks have been calling people who borrowed money for various projects and putting pressure on them to pay back.

It was gathered that some of those contacted, in the last couple of days, are people who bought vehicles and property through loan facilities. In such loans, the borrowers transfer their salary accounts to the bank, from which monthly deductions are made, as soon as salary is paid. However, in their desperate moves, the banks seem to have forgotten the terms of agreement and are calling their clients and declaring the loans as non-performing. And these people have been embarrassed.

One of such clients, who pleaded for anonymity, told Saturday Sun that he got a call from the headquarters of one of the banks telling him that he had defaulted in payment and should act immediately.
According to him, “I told the lady that my salary account is domiciled in her bank and that I did this simply because of the car loan. I asked her if she had called my local branch, which facilitated the loan and find out the status of the loan and the repayment. She said she had not, demanding that I did that. I lost my cool, of course, and told her she did not know her job and that if she did, she would have called the local branch first before making such embarrassing call to me.”

When the bank’s client later contacted the branch manger, the woman was full of apologies, saying that the headquarters did not call them to find out the status of the loan. She confirmed that several of their customers had similarly complained about such calls from the headquarters of the bank. Saturday Sun gathered that other banks are equally doing the same thing.

Also to recover loans, banks now send their staffers to companies owing them, to physically collect daily returns.
It was gathered that officials of Zenith Bank now report at a fuel tank depot located in the Trinity area, on Oshodi-Apapa expressway, with armed policemen to ensure that payments are made into the account and that no cash is taken away.
Saturday Sun reporter gathered that the bank officials are now stationed at Zenon loading depot, at Ibru Jetty Apapa to recover their money. Payments are, therefore, made directly into Zenon bank account, domiciled in Zenith, by customers who come to buy products.

Sources said that a lot of customers, who made payments, could not, however, load their trucks for some days now. One of the customers, who paid N7 million, said she has not been able to load her truck for more than a week now. Effort to ascertain why Zenon stopped giving products to its customers at Ibru Jetty proved abortive. However, sources said that Zenith Bank seems to be in control of the products in order to recover its money.

Another customer, who pleaded anonymity, said the way things are, the bank now decides when products should be given to customers.
Sources at the bank said that they resorted to this tactics in order to forestall CBN hammer, especially since the apex bank is still auditing their bank. They also said that there was the need to recover whatever loan they could before the searchlight would be on the bank.

Meanwhile, banks are now freezing the accounts of companies they extended loan facility. Some of these companies, whose accounts are domiciled in the banks that gave them loan are finding it difficult to operate, in the face of non-access to their accounts.
Saturday Sun gathered that the new management in Oceanic Bank has stopped withdrawals from accounts of companies who have loan facilities. Such companies are not allowed to make withdrawals from the account, but deposits are accepted.

Sources said that the companies were not given prior notice of the action, which ensured that they were caught unawares. It was gathered that some of the companies were still making deposits into their accounts last week, not knowing that they would not make withdrawals.
One of the affected companies told Saturday Sun that such action would jeopardize the repayment of loan, as the operations of the companies are hampered. He said: “My affected account is the major one for the company. I cannot have access to money in the account to run my business. I don’t know how the bank expects me to service the loan when my business has been paralyzed. The goods I imported are at the wharf. I do not have money to clear them because I can’t make withdrawals.”

In a related development, the EFCC is intensifying its drive to recover non-performing loans owed banks. Sources revealed that the anti-graft agency has so far recovered more than N15 billion between when it gave a seven-day ultimatum and this week. The commission had given an ultimatum to bank debtors to pay up on or before last Tuesday or risk arrest and prosecution. Owing to the fact that some of the debtors made payments and were still making desperate efforts to make payments, the EFCC had stayed action on arresting them.

As at press time on Thursday, 68 loan defaulters were arrested by EFCC while a sum of N40 billion was recovered.It is expected that more arrests will be made by the anti-graft agency next week. Anybody arrested, it was revealed, would be made to surrender some assets or estate in lieu of the debt.

A source at the EFCC said: “Well, by next week it would be two weeks since the notice was given. That is enough time for those who want to pay in something to do so. By next week, we will go back to the original plan and that is to arrest these debtors and make them pay. Anybody we pick should be ready to give us the documents of his assets because our mandate is to recover the loan.”

The source revealed that such practice was not new in the EFCC, as all options that would lead to the recovery of money are used. He cited the case of Chief Emma Nwude, whose assets were confiscated and auctioned to recover the money he collected from people through false pretences.

While the EFCC is battling with loan defaulters and the arrested four bank chief executives, the CBN may be in the eye of the storm when the House of Representatives resumes plenary. Members of the House have revealed that the apex bank would be summoned to brief federal lawmakers on the action it took against the banks, especially on the source of N420 billion bailout given to Oceanic Bank Plc, Intercontinental Bank Plc, Union Bank of Nigeria, FinBank and Afribank, whose managing directors and executive directors were sacked two weeks ago.

Revealing this, the Chairman, House Committee on Appropriation, Hon. Ayo Adeseun, said that federal lawmakers had kept quiet on the development in the banking sector because of the recess. He revealed that as soon as the lawmakers resume sitting, the CBN Governor, Mallam Lamido Sanusi, would appear before the House to explain where he got money to bail out the banks.

Adeseun told The Sun editors that the lawmakers could not have stopped Sanusi abruptly. Doing so, according to him, could have amounted to causing more damages than the one he was trying to correct.
He gave assurance that the CBN governor still has some questions to answer later on the matter.
His words: “You would know that this episode occurred while the House was on break.

There was no way we could come back to start to address the issue. The other problem we have with the development is the fact that, given the sensitivity of the banking sector to the economy, if the process was underway and we got wind of it and we stopped it, the impact of that might have been even worse to the economy.

“But now that the deed has been done, we now have a responsibility, through the oversight function, to ask Sanusi to come forward and tell us what he did. Where did the CBN get N420 billion it gave out to whosoever it so pleases? Who appropriated the money?

“Those are the kind of things we will look at. If any one is found to have flouted the laws, he or she will be punished appropriately. We also hope this will also serve as a way of discouraging some activities in the future and serve as deterrent to others.
“Given what happened, and the speed with which it was done, without consultation, there was not much the parliament could do, except react afterwards.”

http://www.sunnewsonline.com/webpages/news/national/2009/aug/29/national-29-08-2009-01.htm

A lady once told me that she knows how to handle men. She said men have a lot of pride and ego, so to get the best out of them, oil that ego, make him feel like the man. Its not everytime u feel like challenging ur husband that you should. As a woman try to understand your husband. When you feel his mood changing for bad be carefull what you say to him. Pretend to be submissive most times and he will feel like protecting you. If you do these things and he still treats you badly, then am afraid you have to take off. He doesn't love you.

impish:
Must sum1 on here pass the test? Nawa for una oh! Since when did NL become a yardstick for the credibility of an assessment? ehn? I understand your frustration but ppl passed the test. Sum just dont want to come forward and say so. On there is a similar topic with ppl who were invited for the srd intvws. Dont let this one thing get u down. There's better ahead for u!!!

cheers

Yes sum1 must pass here. On nairaland you will hear of people that pass test of other companies so why not mobil if they are real. Your comparing with SRD, those ones are clear what they do. You hear of people going for interviews, ppl passing and going on to SRD, but for Mobil,na dem sabi. You only hear when they conduct tests and thats the end. I am saying this because i wrote mobil test twice when i was applying for job. Mobil was the only company where none of my friends was called for interview and these guys are real hot heads.

@ cooljade
I think you got me wrong. How do you know the husband to be has the money. Some wives don't really know how much the husband has talkless of a friend to a wife to be. I think you are assuming you know too much.  People especially  women have a way of overrating men. May because men always try to provide. You see a man when he is spending mode or drives a good car. Then later you feel he has money to satisfy all your childish wishes. Thats why men will always decieve women and get wat they want from them by a little show of wealth.

cooljade:
@Chaircover,, don't get me wrong, my friend isn't adamat in collecting it neither is it a power struggle btw her mother- in- law and herself. It's something she wants when asked what her dowry would be. SSome brides ask for cars, some for cash and it depends on the grooms capital strenght, [font=Lucida Sans Unicode]WHICH HE HAS. [/font]

Others,
It's not like my friend keeps on asking him, give me gold , give me gold as most pple think here. she told him once when he asked her and he said he'd prefer paying 5000 naira which is so so wrong. It's not the man to fix or determine or negotiate such. He didn't mention financial instability as his reason for not giving her the gold, My friend has been upset and worried at his nonchalance in doing what he could do.

My reason for stating that poverty is a state of mind   is in reply to those who say cos the man worked so hard to get to where he is today therefore it would be a waste to buy gold for his wives family.

My friend doesn't need his gold to enrich herself, she's got a few for herself as most ladies do in jewelry. Her salary in a month is almost half of the gold's worth. so pls don't call her a gold digger. I can see that most negative responses are from men , that shows the reasn why Nigerian women are unhappy mostly in marriages . man prefer to spend a whole lot on friends, extended family and even girlfriends , and end upleaving their wives and kids to simple monthly or no allowance.


YOU MEN SHOULD HAVE A SERIOUS RETHINK FROM YOUR STINGY WAYS AND LEARN TO PRIORITIZE, SPENDING MONEY ON YOUR WIFE / MOTHER OF YOUR FUTURE KIDS , ESP. ON TANGIBLE PROPERTIES IS NEVER NEVER A WASTE. HOLY HEAVENS!!!!

@ffhemmmmy, a wise woman would chose a dowry of substance that which even her husband can use in time of trouble, I CAN SEE YOUR SENSE OF REASONING, VERY PATHETIC AND PITIABLE

I gues your his accountant.

Oluschenco:
It is too expensive when you go for an Igbo girl.

Did you go for one? Give us your experience.

cooljade:
To all those who flow and understand me, good for you . I now fully understand the statement , " POVERTY IS A STATE OF MIND" Thats why some people never succeed and even know what to do when they prosper. I realised why Nigerians have a very high level of heart failure/ high blood pressure. Majority of us don't know how to enjoy and invest in life the right way. Those who think buying gold bars / coins is a waste of money, shame on you. You should concentrate more on the economics of investement. 24 k Gold never falls short of its value, in fact , it gets more expensive as it gets older with you (particularly if its bought from a reputable manufacturer) it becomes an antique over time. Ever wonder how some people become extremely rich over night after the sale of a painting or portrait or even on things as odd as a bottle of wine. some things appreciate so well over the years and add a great deal to ones wealth.

How many of you out there have lost money to the crumble of the stock excange, or don't you know that a brand new car starts depreciating the moment it is bought? For those who wonder my questioning his choice of a car gift to his sister. well i can tell you for sure that the sister contributed nothing to his life as she got married at the age of 20 while he (my friend's fiance) is 40 years old. so tell me what good she could have contributed to his struggle to the top.And mind you. The sister's wedding was in May this year and i'm VERY SURE the economy has hit rock bottom by then, yet he had such money to spend . Girls out there, may you never meet a man who is controlled by his mother, everyone around knows the mother adviced him to but the sistyer a car since she had none. so who's the real gold digger here

As for those who say i know too much of my friends relationship, that's cos we are like sisters, we confide in each other all thru life. some girlfriends feel more comfortable having personal discussions with their female best friends rather than partents. And mind you, her paretnts had not influenced her choice of dowry. They are responsible citizens and parents. Don't blame her for her dream, pls dream your dream and start enjoying life ,

Chei may God deliver men from girls like you.  You did not even appreciate the fact that he bought a car for the bride's sister. As far as your concerned thats waste of money.  And that as far as your concerned is the reason why he should be her the gold. So the man did a bad thing for buying the sister a car. Somehow you don't feel he bought the sister a car to please the bride.  I believe he loves his wife-to-be and would buy her anything she wants and he can AFFORD. But let her know how to ask. THe reason most women call men stingy is because they don't ask well. Let her not make it look like because he has money or because he bought car for my sister he must buy me gold. And how does she know he can afford it. Thats another big mistake women make about men( they always have money). THAT HE BOUGHT A CAR FOR THE SISTER SOMETIME AGO DOESN'T MEAN HE HAS MONEY TO BUY GOLD NOW!)I pity the man that will be with you. Your kind of person won't even appreciate the effort he is making to please you. Your kind of person, i make sure i only communicate with them only on  the internet.

:-x

peeps, need opinion  from your learned selfs. There is a girl am interested in, and intend proposing and meeting her people soon. So question is am i expected to give a ring as am proposing?

Romeo4real:
What exactly is meaningless about "Never be with a woman u are not prepared to lose"? If u don't understand elementary relationship psychology, just say so.

Why waste your time being with a woman if u are prepared to loose her?

Don't know about lekki area but i know they stand on the road on Adeola Hopewell and Akin Adesola streets in VI.

Interesting(annoying answers).Is a girlfriend not supposed to end as a wife(_{whether it ends is another issue}) Will u go out with a friend and his wife sits at the back while ur in the front. For me as a guy.i will go straight to the back. I don't have to be told. It makes sense, they are couples. If ur best friend is truly a best friend, he will understand. Let me ask u guys, if ur bestfriend and ur girlfriend crash in your place, will u leave ur girlfriend alone in the parlour and sleep with ur bestfriend in the room.

i pity our girlfriend. From her answer u'll see she is weak and infact knows she is loosing you. Am sure she is shopping for another boyfriend right now.
UR EX STAY WITH U!!!.That is unheard of. Am sure u'll sleep with her the very first night.
Imagine ur girlfriend telling u she wants to spend the night with her ex.
Evidently ur still interested in ur ex and u're seeing this as an opportunity to have her back. Good for u but please don't try deceiving the poor girl u call ur girlfriend.

hyundai elantra tank capacity - 53litres

car make-Hyundai elantra
year- 2009
km per full tank - 350

I hope the way you talk online is not the way you talk at home. Imagine the loads of rubbish that is coming from you. With this sort of attitude you will most likely raise a child that you will be forced to turn in. All this insult just because i was only trying to make it clear to you that it is practically impossible for you to turn in your child. Kai, i pity your husband (thats if you have one).