ogawisdom:


Hmmm I am not sure u are sane I give up on ur mentality

He/she is not sane.

SageMK:
WTF? — It's all your fault.
You should have set strict boundaries.

I somewhat agree.
He did not mention anywhere that he cautioned his cousin. Instead of addressing his cousin's excesses when it caught his attention, he allowed the matter to deteriorate until the fiance had to stand her ground. Now, this cousin will most likely go around telling everyone that said fiance "does not like husband's people".

sinola:
Azheimer could be what is suffering from

Alzheimer’s? A 9 year old?
Nothing Musa no go see for gate.

babylonjah:
..... Hmmm some mothers do have them...

My mom says this a lot, this is the first time I have seen someone else say it..

Do they have military boarding schools where you live? Those schools are good for teaching discipline. If you do send him to Nigeria, consider a military school. There are pros and cons to boarding schools so think about it.
What about his father? Is he active in training the boy? I suggest that his father takes over his training for a while. Dad might have an approach that resonates with the kid.
I personally will not 'chill', there is no better time to try to figure out what is going on and fix it the best you can.

sweetmelanin:


I don't know if ur based in the UK but £60 is next to nothing.

You don’t mean it. Y’all must be rich, JK

I practice FIRE (Financial Independence Retire Early), and have gotten into the habit of scrutinizing recurrent expenses.

Anyway, since it is nothing to you, you only have to make your husband see the benefits of the cleaning service

If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Given the reasons you gave in the OP, I don't think this is an issue at all.
Your husband has no problem cleaning after himself and taking care of his family. Why are you insisting on getting help? Unless, YOU don't want to spend time cleaning, and that is okay. Just don't make it seem like you are doing it for him...

Spending £60 a month on a service you can do without, is not cheap IMO.
£60 * 12 months = £720 a year. Can you think of something more productive to do with £720? I can.

LMAO
Can you imagine? These men with no home training. He should have at least volunteered to wash the dirty cars he saw in the compound.

He removed his slippers before climbing the ceiling LMAO.

Cutebabiesmum:

I wish you understand ma'am. We are Igbo and you know what it means to have only one son in the family. God forbid anything happen, our wicked uncle and their children will take over all my father's property and land. They will take over everything my dad has worked for. Now I think you can see the reason why we are on his neck to get marry so that my daddy's name will continue

Even Ojukwu, the 'igboest' igbo that ever liveth, left property to his daughter (as well as his wife) in his will. Your father should consider writing a will if this is the main reason you guys are 'putting eye' on your brother.

Why are you spending so much energy on what I would consider trivial. Life is not hard just call and break the ice, then invite them to visit baby.

When you were pregnant you hid it from them, the lady straight up asked you and you lied to her face about it, now you are feigning surprise at their attitude and expecting them to identify with you.
“You don’t see how your decision of not disclosing your pregnancy affected their lives” but somehow their decision to keep their distance is affecting yours?

A lot of atheists in Nigeria never identify as one just to keep the peace in the family. Our society has become one that believes you have to identify with one of the 2 major religions.

I am agnostic myself but I have never told any family member. The trouble is not worth it. I go to church regularly but it is more of a social gathering for me than anything else. It is where you can easily network and get to know people of interest to you.
My brother made the mistake of openly questioning the validity of Jesus and Mohammed to his wife, it has been several years and my family is still using it to judge him.

You can keep going with them to church, see it as time set aside to spend with your family and friends.

People wicked for this life oh
I hope you get a good lawyer and have your kid returned to you.
Mehn, that is why marriage is serious business. Because not only do you have to make sure you marry a good person, you also have to make sure their family members are at least decent human beings.

Chai this story get as e be. Mr. A, Mr. B, Younger brother, elder brother, India, Kenya, Malaysia, SA. Mehn, it’s so hard to keep up.

You never finish the story but this is my advice - always set your expectation very low when dealing with ‘friends’ and human beings in general, to avoid disappointment.

I agree! Most of the threads occupying the home page are advertisements. It is annoying, but I can’t think of a way to get rid of them. When they are deleted, the owners just post them again.

Renting an apartment is not investment.
Your parents are renting and you also want to rent. That means your family will be paying rent for 2 places in the same city.
Since you and your folks get along fine, keep living there. Moving out does not make financial sense.

Abeg, everybody should find their own level. Marry someone with shared values.
If you want a wife that does all the house chores, marry someone who has no problem with that arrangement.
If you want a domesticated man, look for a man that has no problem contributing to house chores.
If a girl told you she wants a man that knows how to cook, leave her and find another girl that does not care if her man cooks or not.
No need to drink Panadol for nonexistent headache.

ThothHermes:
Please shut the hell up!!!

Please, go fvck yourself!!!

kowema:



Do you know the circumstances behind over staying their rent?.
What if they had hopes to pay, what if the Landlord understood. You people saying move to the village blah blah. Really?.

That someone is down doesn't mean they won't rise or that dey had been wretched all along. Help if you can or walk away.

You guys wait till you need help nd the whole world goes logical on you.

People are committing suicide daily and the world keeps saying dey didn't voice out.

Someone voices out now, you people drag them to further gutters

She already said the circumstance behind overstaying their rent, if the landlord was okay with them overstaying the rent he/she wouldn't have gone to court. Because you are down does not mean you should cause another man pain, what if the house rent was the landlord's source of income too?
What is wrong with living in the village?
Every one has/will experience hardship and so everyone should be ready cut their coat according to their cloth when they need to.
Me, I was not born with silver-spoon in my mouth either and my advice from experience. When things were hard my father bundled us to the village, he remained and hustled in Lagos while squatting with other hustlers. We eventually returned to Lagos when things got better and we did not die.
You should have taken your own advice and "helped or walked away" instead of quoting ifyalways and saying she is insensitive for giving practical advice.

mezarddinny:
why do Nigerian tenants like frustrating owners like this? I am experiencing the same, when they come to rent the house, it is hitch free but when you tell them to move out after they have owed you for long, they start forming strong head. you and your husband don't have a job yet you stayed put in another mans house without no hope of payment, if na Una employer no give Una salary for 3 months, wahala go don burst.


my advice for you is to move to your village and start farming at least you will get a cheaper room and free land or cheap lease, no be by force to stay for lag abeg

I was about to post that exact same thing. I would have moved to village since! There is lots of land to grow your veggies and raise your chickens around your house. Rent is next to nothing! Then start rebuilding your life small small

kowema:



Did she say her husband was sick?.
He went tru and operation is what she said.

Some of you react insensitively to issues.
For someone to come at the[b] last minute[/b] to ask for help should paint a picture that she has exhausted all options.
The probably had things going on smoothly before it became rough.


Let's be sensitive please.
@OP, may God see you tru. I'd send my own might cus I've been there before.

The insensitive person her is the OP that comfortably balanced in someone’s house for 8 months without paying. Last minute was before their rent ended, then they waited 8 months so tay the owner had to go to court for his/her own property. If that is not heartlessness I don’t know what is.
OP, if I was in your shoes I will move out of Lagos ASAP. You build yourself a pretty decent life in other less expensive states.

ThothHermes:
Why are you trying to destroy a failing marriage instead of try to fix it. Is that how throw away every faulty appliance in your house
The day would not be complete if you don't turn it to a gender battle.
Reality baby. Reality.
Do you know of any couple where the wife cheats brazenly and the man just swallows it? I bet you don't.
Don't know what you are on about.
Oya OP make una divorce. That's empathy right there.

This is my first time replying to this thread so please show me where I mentioned divorce? I was responding to your post where you said men cannot accept the same behavior you are asking the lady to accept and I am trying to figure out why you have such a thought process. It really was an honest question, I’m not trying to have a gender war.
The bolded, you said the issue is fixable and the woman should fix it. In the same breath you are saying men should not fix their marriage if the issue is from the woman.

ThothHermes:
By our respective natures, a man would not tolerate a woman that is cheating brazenly if he is faithful and dutiful.

I have tried to imagine it and it's not just possible in my head. It will take the most enraged feminist to dream up something so implausible.

It's not society. It's nature. You want to advice divorce? Go ahead.
Wetin concern me? As if divorce is one El Dorado like that.
This is a fixable problem. If you don't want to try to fix it., wahala tiyin niyen

Why are you asking someone else to accept behavior that you are unwilling to accept?
Is it because she has a vagina that you are asking her to live with the same hurt that you have rejected for yourself?
If you cannot imagine it for yourself why are you able to imagine it for a woman?
If it is a fixable problem why won’t you be fixing your own marriage if the problem is coming from the woman?
I really want to know empathy (putting yourself in someone else’s shoes) is not applied if the person hurting in a marriage is a woman.

Bishop:


The first maid I had was an HIV infected person and I kept her in charge of my 2 kiss at that time,I was only saved by divine intervention. My first question is if you have done medical checks on this maid if not that is the first step.

I am not ever going to do a maid thing again because my second attempt was alooking a horrible one, still a health issue .you can draw your cinclusion from this

Did you dismiss your maid only because of her HIV status? What was she doing that made her a threat to your kids?

genq:


Look at this f00l.
Civilisation that was created and developed my MEN.

Lol, E pain am.
In 2019, somebody is 'prouding' about surviving in deserted island. Are you in Adam and Eve period? You are going to need a different set of skills to survive in this age SIR!
If it is paining you that you have to share civilization (that YOUR men built) with women, go and live in the deserted island on your own. Nobody is holding you.

Congratulations!!

Good. You and the men you just described should pack your load and drop yourselves in a deserted island. Why the f-ck are you wasting your talent struggling for limited resources (with women) in civilization when you are built to survive in deserted island.

Seen

ifyalways:
When did you go for interview cos i remember you were yet to book appointment as at may ending?

Which kind of School or Scholarship requires health insurance kwa

All schools in the US require health insurance for international students.