I don’t know why people continue wasting money on inconsequential things.

None of my parents were dedicated in church. None of them had naming ceremony.
They turned out fantastic.

None of my parent’s children were dedicated in church.
None of us had naming ceremony.
We turned out great.

You shouldn’t have spent any money on such things in the first place. Especially in these challenging times. Tell her that the more she complains, the less you will spend in the future.

Mavis3:
Thank you all for your advice and counsel.

Graxie like you said, I have more than enough advice to pick from. All the comments helped and guided me on making my plans and re strategizing.

On Aunty's Visit;( It's quite lengthy o)

She came by the house yesterday evening and it was for a meeting.
She said she wants to speak sense into me and her Nephew.

She said husband's girlfriend traced her to her home and told her husband doesn't pick her calls or reply to her messages.
That baby is sick and she sent a message to husband and husband did not reply. Husband has left all responsibility to her alone and she is suffering with baby and husband threatened to arrest her when she said she was going to meet with me and tell me her woes.

Aunty said a good wife should encourage husband to be responsible and do good by his child no matter how the child came about. That I have stopped husband to accept the child and to have anything to do with the child and that shows I am not a good wife.

I didn't utter a word. Husband told her to leave me out of all that. He said if she had told him that was her reason for coming he would have adviced her to stay at home and he will find time and see her.

Me I kept quiet and did not say a word.

She gave alot of proverbs and told me to practice the Christianity I profess and show love.
I thanked her for coming and she left.

I did not say or ask any question concerning what she said. Even when hubby saw her off and came back and started apologising for everything that is happening and for Aunty's behavior, the only thing I said was it's ok, I am not offended.

Had to send a message to husbands elder brother that lives in UK. He is very principled and Sincere. And what he says is respected in the family.
Told him what's up and about Aunty coming to.my house to insult my person.

He wasn't happy at all, said he will call Aunty. Don't know what he told them, Aunty called this evening to apologies on how she spoke to me and father in law too called to tell me Aunty acted alone, he is not part of it.

Brother in law also called to tell me he has told Aunty not to further stress me with the issue of husband girlfriend and baby.
That husband should handle his shit.

Right now, I am prepared. Will be taking a leave once the lockdown is over and I am leaving the house for a month. I will be staying with my elder brother in another state for a while.

I have decided that no Kobo of mine will go for the upkeep of the child and I stand by that. Call me wicked I don't care.

I will start processing my transfer to another state where my mother and siblings are, so I will be closer to my family.

I am going to tell him this night that the project we are working on will hold. I want to go for further studies and will need the money.

We are no longer going to have a joint account. The money we have in it we will split.

Once the work transfer pulls through, I am moving to my state.

I need some time alone to breathe.

Thank you all for your advice. If anything new comes up, I will sure let you guys know.

Your plan sounds great! I hope you follow through. I am so proud of you.
Some people will say you are being a bad wife for leaving your marital home.
I want you to know that being a bad wife to a bad husband is not a bad thing.
You are human first before you became wife, you’ve done nothing wrong and you deserve peace of mind. I wish you the very best!

Mavis3:
Hmmmmm. People have suggested all you mentioned to me but I never wanted to get myself involved in dubious or diabolic way of getting pregnant and to live with the guilt all my life knowing how the baby came about.

He asked me this morning if I have thought through what he told me yesterday. I said I am still thinking about it but I have also been thinking about having separates account once the lockdown is over. And when we do that, we will now discuss how the upkeep of his child will be.
He said but we decided on a joint account before we got married and it has been working for us. I told him just like we took a vow of for better or worse and I can see how that is working for us now.

That's what I told him this morning. I have never spoken to my husband in the manner I spoke to him this morning and surprisingly I don't feel bad at all.

The audacity at the bolded.
This man fully expects zero consequences for his actions.
I hope you proof him wrong.

Sotland:


I bet you would have preferred you and your husband adopt right?

Instead of you to accept the child as yours since the child is your husband blood. You are allowing your mind to be filled with ungodly thoughts..

Oh! It's the financial that is your concern right? Then split the account and take what's yours.. This even shows that you didn't forgive him truly but just trying to live by it..

Remember Nine Years no child.. So, is you or your husband getting any younger? You doesn't beat you, he still loves you and takes care of you. He didn't vent his anger or frustration for not having child or children, he protects you from relatives/outsiders and you don't appreciate it..

What if he decides to marry another wife today, will you divorce him?

Tell me is there a place in the Bible that condemn polygamy? Please give me the verse biko.


Many of us are hypocrites.. We claim to be christian yet we can't practice the true doctrine of the bible "Forgive & Forget"..

Imagine how everyone is condemning the Husband. And that will keep poisoning your mind and heart.

Someone even said he broke the marriage vows as if he or she understands what marriage vow is.. He's still having her under his roof, he still love and cares for her..So which vow was broken?

Becareful the kind of council you receive out here.. The deed is done. Just live in peace with your husband..

Lol, classic Nigerian Christianity.

Husband commits adultery
Nigerian christian: bible does not condemn polygamy, husband did not break any vows, he loves and cares for wife because they share the same roof.

Wife refuses to fund child
Nigerian christian: bible preaches forgive and forget, to separate finances is a sign of unforgiveness, such a grave sin.

It is time to separate finances.

Hell will freeze over the day I take responsibility for my husband’s love child.

Did you discuss with your wife at all before making the move? In blended families, it is very important to communicate and carry everyone along.

It is you that is making your boss’ life hell.

You, are you supporting them?
You did not mention how often you call your siblings. The sister you have not spoken to in 3 months, why did you wait 3 months before calling her?

I think most unmarried Nigerian women do not receive any education on the different types of contraceptives available to them. Some educated women may take the initiative to visit their OBGYN for options but for the most part, family planning education is mostly only offered to women after child birth as part of post natal treatment. Condoms sef only became mainstream because of HIV prevention.

How can you be fighting for someone that died 100 thousand years ago? How is he supposed to Rest In Peace now?

Send the mother away and encourage the wife to follow her mama.
If he wants swift action, I’ll recommend that he should be the first to call police! All the wive’s people can relax in police custody for a while.

chatinent:
"At that moment, you mean if I later know that.. I mean, if I notices that I am not the one that born.. I mean, my wife born but born later notices that I am not my father?
It'll be hard for me to handle the situation."

Lol! I remember that guy on the video. The question confuse am no be small

Seun and mods,
I understand you want to generate traffic but at least come up with more reasonable stories na.

Mother-daughter relationships can be intense.
I and my mother are not close but now have a relationship of mutual respect.

My mother did most of the punishments except you really bleeped up, then my dad will step in and fvck up your whole life with intense flogging.

Omoluabi9:
Generating traffic by concocting FAKE STORIES and lying is very wrong. Stop supporting evil.

Where do you see me supporting it?

Socializing
Anything on sale/clearance

Mizwisdom:
Hmmm another manufactured story. Which sane human being will agree that he didn't buy the land nor build the house but he wants to drive the owner? why all these manufactured stories to generate traffic? I will no longer respond to stories from new monikers

Traffic has to be generated in some way. Especially in the family/romance section. Since established monikers are unlikely to post personal stories/problems.

Are you mad?

LOL!

You better leave her alone before you go and die.
Go and marry a woman that will let you beat her to death.

Tell him to leave, in English or Yoruba, or whichever language you guys speak.
You cannot live life without offending some people and if he wants to get offended, let him.
You guys are not even close, and since you don’t want to be close sef, better to keep him at arms lengths now rather than later.

Their lecturers should be ashamed. How can the entire class fail to understand your teaching?

Some women be taking marriage too damn serious.
Just walk away!
Nobody’s life is worth taking just because you exchanged some vows with them.

silibaba:


you must be from a broken home or raised by a single mother or father

LOL.
On the contrary, I was raised by my married mummy and daddy.

But if my mother ever left my dad, there was no way my father would have let her take us with her. Hell no. He would have kept us and raised us because we are his kids bearing his name.
Unlike majority of the men on this thread that are so used to women doing the heavy lifting. They are so used to the deadbeatness around them that they have no grasp of what it means to actually head your family.
That is why even the mere thought of raising their kids has them frothing at the mouth.

Kennedyiheme02:
kill yourself, you are our slaves

Finally, a man wey sabi .

seunak2016:
so because children bear father names means what?apart from bearing father name ,let me tell you because you are kid, woman enjoy children more than father. the truth is before they give their father anything, they must have given their mother a lot. do your research on that and confirm. May God help all those father too.

Why are you men running away from this enjoyment you speak of?
Raise your kids and enjoy too like women. Abi, are you people allergic to enjoyment?

DesChyko:


Just some quick question.. How many cocks have you seen raising chicks? Or billy goats have you seen rearing kids? Or Lions have you seen weaning cubs?

Man is very intelligent, so intelligent that he begins to turn things upside down just for the sake of doing that.

But you know how they say in Igbo land, 'Aruruala gbaa afo, o buru zie omenala'. Be fashionable all you want, use the best gadgets as you like, you, like all others like you, remain animals subject to nature.

That is why I have told you people mentioning Apes, Chickens, Goats and Lions to find one and marry. Since they make such great wives and mothers for African men.

They are too cute!
Allah ya raya.

Experience has taught me never to trust family with money I am not ready to forfeit.
A lot of people take family for granted, they will do anyhow with your money believing that you will forgive them. After all they are family.

cococandy:
You noticed?

They get so fvcking heated.

Luckysbab:


When you have your own children, abandon them to their father and stop ranting about like someone deranged.

It's every issue that's men vs women to you these little girls with low IQ.

I already said so myself. What else is new?
Why TF does the thought of raising your own kids trigger you people so much?

greenmonk:


These are the type of females in our society now and when no man wants to marry her she'll resort to diabolical means to hook a man.

You men must think juju was created for you alone.

Man dies - wife must have killed him with juju.
Man marries - wife must have hooked him with juju.
Man love wife - wife must have put him in bottle.

You people don’t realize how ridiculous you sound?