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Family / Re: Marry Within Your Class. by elektra(f): 5:36pm On Jun 22, 2019 |
funmisticqueen: It is mindsets like this that makes the feminist movement look like a joke in Nigeria. Men are not your personal poverty alleviation scheme and should not be seen as your ticket to switching social class. Having said that, men often marry below their class so they can exert full control over their wives. If a woman does not have a problem with that kind of arrangement then follow the above advice. 19 Likes 3 Shares |
Family / Re: I Need A Certified, Professional Marriage Counsellor For My Parent by elektra(f): 5:45am On Jun 22, 2019 |
Metooreal: Why don’t you get a car and driver for your parents? You are likely to pass up a good counselor due to your highly specific conditions 1 Like |
Family / Re: UPDATED: Please Nairalanders, I humbly solicit for your help ! by elektra(f): 2:32pm On Jun 21, 2019 |
You are going to need to post more than just words. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Family / Re: Court Orders Man To Pay Ex-wife N62 Million For 27 Years Of House Chores by elektra(f): 12:57am On Jun 21, 2019 |
Good call. It’s a pity women in Nigeria do not have the courts to count on in instances such as this. That is why being a stay at home mom is risky AF. Sometimes it costs more to send kids to crèche/kindergarten while mom works but I will still pick that over having no career. 3 Likes |
Family / Re: Women Should Be Careful With Cheating Husbands. by elektra(f): 9:23pm On Jun 19, 2019 |
Acidosis: LMAO. You people are funny oh. |
Family / Re: Please Advice! by elektra(f): 3:30pm On Jun 19, 2019 |
eni4real: LMAO. This is the funniest definition of a feminist I have ever seen. You people are just making sh.t up at the point. 1 Like |
Family / Re: Demon Husband Et Al by elektra(f): 9:06pm On Jun 18, 2019 |
Theyoungmatron: Chai! I haven't heard that name in a long time. I think say una don bully am out of nairaland |
Family / Re: Please Advice! by elektra(f): 5:41pm On Jun 18, 2019 |
nwanneni: Will you have the same ideas if the woman was the one bringing in the money? I ask because you lot are quick to change it up and ask her to 'submit' her money to her husband, since he is the 'head' he gets to decide how the money is spent. 4 Likes |
Family / Re: Please Advice! by elektra(f): 5:11pm On Jun 18, 2019 |
Excesslove222: It hurts to plan with someone and have them break your trust repeatedly. Like someone said, it is his money and so don't have much say on how he spends it. When you depend on someone for something, you don't really have a choice on what they give you, you take whatever you get. To gain the kind of financial freedom that you want, you need to pull your weight as far as bringing income to the home is concerned. This may not be the way marriage is supposed to work, but unfortunately this is the reality of your situation. 3 Likes |
Family / Re: After Divorce Wat Next. by elektra(f): 11:31pm On Jun 15, 2019 |
Guy, you go kill yourself on top nairaland woman matter. If you channel all this energy into investing in yourself you will be better off. There are so many free courses on the internet, try doing some and before you know it, you can differentiate between a thread and a blog. 10 Likes |
Family / Re: What Calms You Down When You Are Angry? by elektra(f): 11:21pm On Jun 14, 2019 |
Time I just need time to cool off 6 Likes 1 Share |
Family / Re: Burial Photos Of A Fallen Hero, Kennedy Ovabore (Hungerbad) by elektra(f): 4:28am On Jun 10, 2019 |
My his family find strength in whatever they hold dear. 1 Like |
Family / Re: Close Your Legs Women!! by elektra(f): 10:43pm On Jun 07, 2019 |
BRETHA: Nobody give a sh*t about what you need. If you were so focused on all the advise you are dishing here you will not have time "need" anything from other women. My own is, when are men going to start giving women their virginity for christ’s f*cking sake? I need virginity to cherish the person I am going to spend the rest of my life with. 16 Likes 1 Share |
Family / Re: Any Reason Why My Thread On Marital Rape Was Deleted? by elektra(f): 10:25pm On Jun 07, 2019 |
bukatyne: Like I said the concept of marriage vows as consent for all sexual activities at all times in the marriage is open to interpretation. I just pointed out a handful of scenarios as an example of legitimate reasons for avoiding sex in a marriage, I wasn't really asking for a response to those, just trying to show that you are using one blanket judgement for a subject with many nuances. But based on your proffered solutions to the stated scenarios, I think you are intentionally refusing to consider that this subject has too many grey areas and should not be treated as black and white as you have done, and it is clouding your judgement. For instance, solution for A - "join in the race for achievement"? LMAO. So if your spouse to too stressed to think about sex, get yourself stressed too so both of you are too stressed to consider sex? Do you really think this is what a "sane" spouse would do? A sane spouse will wait! Ph.D dissertation writing take ~6months of long hours and hard work and sane partners have and can wait it out. For the other solutions you proffered, there are so many what ifs, so i'll leave it alone. Again, how is it better for the society that there is "nothing like marital rape"? 3 Likes |
Family / Re: Writers Wanted For A Startup Food And Health by elektra(f): 5:58am On Jun 07, 2019 |
What are the goodies? |
Family / Re: Any Reason Why My Thread On Marital Rape Was Deleted? by elektra(f): 10:50pm On Jun 06, 2019 |
bukatyne: The problem I have with your stance is that you are using one blanket statement for a topic that has so many nuances. There is nothing like marital rape in Nigeria. Since you claim that the marital vows are a one time consent given for all sexual activities to follow. What about countries where spousal rape is prosecutable? Are their marital vows different? No. The issue of consent being covered by marital vows is subject to different interpretations. Why? Because marital vows do not include "I hereby give you consent for all sexual relations after this wedding". To insist that your own interpretation is the correct one is a bit myopic. There are so many issues that would prevent a spouse from agreeing to make love to their partners. You make it sound as if people do not have legitimate/logical reasons to refuse sexual intercourse even in a marriage. Husband/wive is wrapping up Ph.D dissertation, is constantly stressed and tired, has no sex drive and explained the situation to spouse. Spouse is having extramarital affairs, faithful spouse is unable to stomach having sex with a cheating partner and told spouse just that. Spouse does not want to have sex without protection, partner insist on unprotected sex or no sex at all. One partner wants more kids, other one is not ready. Should I go on? If these issues are not resolved in a timely manner the willing partner should have not qualms forcing their way because there is no such thing as marital rape. And if your spouse forces themselves on you, don’t feel hurt or angry because they can’t be prosecuted. Smile and be happy. How is it better for the society that there is "nothing like marital rape"? 5 Likes |
Family / Re: Any Reason Why My Thread On Marital Rape Was Deleted? by elektra(f): 10:21pm On Jun 06, 2019 |
bukatyne: Maybe if you were not hammering on wives alone. The discussion would broaden out. Or maybe replace wife with spouse? 2 Likes |
Family / Re: urg by elektra(f): 12:58am On Apr 17, 2019 |
Young03: What is more baffling is how some men like yourself like to point to the back breaking work their own mothers had to endure. Imagine your own mother working for 14 hours and still coming home to pound akpu. Is this something to brag about? Can you yourself work those same hours outside and still come home to do all that your mother did? Can you do it? Shouldn’t it inspire you to change the system so that your daughters don’t have the run the home all by themselves? 14 Likes |
Family / Re: , . by elektra(f): 4:31am On Nov 12, 2018 |
cuterichbigdick: Please I want to know, why is it dangerous for him? Can you answer these questions too? Do you (and your brothers) contribute to your father's upkeep regularly, no matter how little? Do you guys buy gifts for him? Have you guys recognized a significant need that he had and took care of it (even though you know he can afford it?) Does your Father demand money from you guys? Does he tell you how to spend your money? I think you are being incredibly selfish. You have refused to consider your father side of things. Your Father is getting old, he cannot work as he used to in the past. He needs to save for his own upkeep. Old people need to survive too, they often have chronic illnesses that require recurrent spending. You guys are young and you can hustle. Allow that man to live the remainder of his life on his own terms. He has worked, let his reap the fruit of his labour. 3 Likes |
Family / Re: How Do I Cope With A Mother That Place A Stranger Higher Than Me manmen by elektra(f): 6:41pm On Sep 02, 2018 |
I consider my sister in law my sister. I think of her as part of my family and my parents treat her as their own kid. I have zero issues with my mum sharing things about me with my sister in law. If I can share it with my mum, I have no problem with my sister in law knowing it. I find it interesting that you consider your sister in law a ‘stranger’. You could either change your mindset or stop sharing sensitive info with your mum. |
Family / Re: "My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home" The True Story by elektra(f): 10:19pm On Jul 20, 2018 |
I don't know why you are referring your version as the true story, this is the exact story your wife told us. Now let's be honest with each other, I know you know that the document should not be changed to your name ONLY. She put in 100% of her part of the profit into that house. You split yours into three, contributed a lot less than she did. Why do you feel you deserve to have your name ONLY on the document? Why aren't you asking for both your names on the document? You are planning to take away something very precious to your wife (her kids) because you want to cheat her out of the house. You know your wife will probably choose her kids over the house, aren't you being wicked? So this is how your wife will entirely lose out of that business that she worked so hard for? Once she changes the document to your name, you will own both your parent's house and the house your wife built. And she will have nothing to show for her sweat You claim you did not mean it when you asked her to leave the house. I don't believe it, because if you can cheat her entirely out of her efforts like this then you likely meant what you said 131 Likes 17 Shares |
Family / Re: "My Husband's Pride Wants To Ruin Our Home" The True Story by elektra(f): 10:01pm On Jul 20, 2018 |
ExtraExtra: Oga, you are funny oh. So the woman is 99% responsible for the success of an institution in which the man is the head. If you have a traditional marriage, then the MAN as the head, is responsible for the success of the home. If you have more of a partnership in your marriage, then both the man AND woman are responsible for the home. Do not shift your responsibility to your wife when it is convenient. 105 Likes 9 Shares |
Family / Re: Is Feminism Really About Hatred Of The Male Gender? by elektra(f): 8:21pm On Jun 18, 2018 |
Another thread about feminism, una no dey tire? |
Family / Re: Chimamanda Adichie Misconception Of Feminism And Its Dangers To Rising Africans by elektra(f): 9:41pm On Jun 16, 2018 |
MissCokie: What danger? I am very curious, how has Chimamanda put anyone in danger? 6 Likes |
Family / Re: In Response To A Previous Thread Created By Amara Okafor by elektra(f): 10:47pm On May 05, 2018 |
Una never marry and all these wahala already. 38 Likes 5 Shares |
Family / Re: Help, Mother In Law Spritualizes Every Issues by elektra(f): 2:15pm On Apr 17, 2018 |
comtem2011: What is wrong with knowing what was brought for the baby? |
Family / Re: My Sister Got Married Without My Knowledge -- Now They Need Me To Mediate by elektra(f): 8:02am On Apr 07, 2018 |
selfemployed: He absolutely has the right to turn down their request given the circumstances. He can oblige to their request out of the goodness of his heart, but he is not required to do so. As someone has mentioned, people can’t just be doing anyhow and not expect consequences, he was not party to the marriage and he will not be party to the reconciliation. 1 Like |
Family / Re: My Sister Got Married Without My Knowledge -- Now They Need Me To Mediate by elektra(f): 12:02am On Apr 07, 2018 |
selfemployed: If his sister’s marriage crashes, it is his sister and her husband’s fault for not working on their marriage. You now want to put the sister’s marriage crash on top of OP’s head, manipulation at its finest. 14 Likes |
Family / Re: I Lost My Junior Brother Yesterday, Please Console Me In Your Own Way by elektra(f): 5:41pm On Apr 01, 2018 |
So sorry for your loss. I hope you and your family find solace in this difficult time. The pain will always be there, but I pray that God will give you the strength to carry on. |
Health / Re: Doctors/Nurses Help My Wife Analyze This Scan Result Abeg (PHOTO) by elektra(f): 7:16pm On Mar 04, 2018 |
Why are doctor’s writing always illegible? 20 Likes |
Family / Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by elektra(f): 4:19pm On Jan 13, 2018 |
Iseoluwani: Are you saying that getting parental blessings mean you won’t have marital problems? Even marriages where both families give their full blessing have issues like this so... 46 Likes 1 Share |
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