I’m sorry for your loss.

The reality is that death is EVERYBODY’s portion. There is no amount of money and prayer that can make death not be your portion.

GboyegaD:
That was one beating I can't forget if the free beating I had growing up. It was 4 strokes but they were one of eternal reset.

I was that kid that was almost a loner and so I'm excited when my mum have her occasional visitors as she rarely had friends visit. She had always warned me not to intrude when older people are discussing but for me, it was always fun. One day, I choose to intrude and she said nothing. She came into our room in the middle of the night, woke me up and asked me to follow her to the sitting room. She reminded me of my actions and told me she was going to give me 4 strokes to always help me remember. I still remember till date.

Interestingly, I have a nephew and niece that needs similar reminder but my mom feels it isn't too appropriate.

I swear, parents change with their grandchildren. My own nieces and nephews get away with so much sh.t. I can’t believe my ears when my mum is saying we shouldn’t flog them. SMDH.

The two options are risky. Use the masters money to pay for professional child care and have peace of mind.

Greatzeus:
I know how you feel Op,but that feeling is wrong as long as you live under her roof. You feel that you are not her maid so why should you be doing all her work,see girl, humble your self,try to do all she asked of you,you are a woman,you should even enjoy doing chores,if you want to enjoy your stay at her house, please just do as she says.
If you think you can't cope with the work or stress,go back home to your parents. That's the only choice you have if you want to enjoy your stay and want to avoid rancour.

At bolded,
Can people just be reasonable for once?!
So because she was born with a vagin.a, she must ENJOY doing chores?
Did we read the same story? Even when she is sick she should enjoy doing chores?

Your sister should be taking care of your when you are sick. She was wrong to yell at you about chores while you are sick. She seems like the kind of person that will deliberately delay your progress because she wants to keep you as a free housegirl.

You need to find something that takes you out of the house ASAP. Join a trade, start learning and start planning your exit from your sister’s house.

If you don’t care about race/nationality then I recommend joining a church in the US where you live.
There are some churches here that operate like cults (not trying to be mean just saying the truth). Everyone in the church marries within the church and live church-approved lifestyles.
It is usually a small-medium sized church where everyone knows everyone and the women are extremely conservative (something you seem to prefer). The rate of divorce in those churches are 0%.
I doubt this suggestion with help with your age stipulation though, cos even conservative <26year old girls in US will prefer to marry someone in their age group. Good luck.

You and Your family are a bunch of entitled clowns.

Why should your husband be paying your parents salary? Are they his employees? What are they doing for him? Your mouth did not even heavy you to ask, seeing as you are a not bringing in any income. Your head is not correct at all.

Your father sef! When he was insisting on >500K he did not think of the future. Now the same fate has befallen his son. Shame did not catch him to demand money from his in-law? Your father is a shameless man.

I get so uncomfortable whenever I visit Nigeria. Family members will be maltreating their maids in your presence. I said something once and was accused to “becoming Americanized”.
And these same people spend so much time in church. Gods name is always on their lips. I just tire.

smeag0l:
That jobless period was a fantastic opportunity for you to plan for life after NYSC. I served in a village school in one of the states in the southwest and i had to be going twice a week. I begged the principal cos the place was really far from where I stay and they were not paying. The remaining three week days including weekends was used to chart my future course. You can never gave the free time you had during nysc again. At that time, I planned for either a job in nigeria or a research assistantship in US. I got about 3 or 4 job offers in great companies two months after the end of my nysc and I resumed with one of the coys and worked their while still pursuing a PhD admission in the US. After working for about a year, I got the PhD offer but declined it cos I also got my dream job here in naija although in a different region from the south west. Never been jobless in my entire life. I must always be occupied with something

Where did I mention that I did not plan my life?

I haven’t been jobless since I after secondary school.
I worked as a cashier during undergrad, then I got paid to go to grad school.
The most jobless I’ve being was during NYSC, the government agency I was posted to did nothing. All we did was gist all day long, even the directors and full time staff were gisting with us.

Did your mother give the bag to the girl and she refused? I guess the girl should have read her mind.

All this useless matters introduce unnecessary strife to a family. Now your entire family is complaining about handbag. Shebi shame is not catching your people?

If your mother has an issue carrying her own bag then maybe she should leave the bag at home.

bjprodint:
an not lying,it actually happened.i didnt believe it myself until she testified in church.God may actually give the op two kids only and they will both be AS.

Wow, I had no idea church testimony is equivalent to scientific evidence.

You didn’t do anything wrong. If you had fallen for it, your husband and his family would’ve still blamed you. Just ignore them.

My family has been scammed by various family members. The interesting this is my parents are still cordial with all the scammers. They still call and visit each other like nothing happened. This is the kind of behavior that emboldens these scammers. They know their family member will forgive them. SMH

Bola146:
Sorry for that. All you need now is prayers. Also try medications

See logic
Use prayer first and foremost, then consider medication later
Religion has fried your brain

There was a thread like this one long ago.

Most men wished to marry women like their mothers
Most females hated the thought of marrying someone like their fathers

She has gotten a maga. You sef you are paying.

She is not suited for business. Tell her to get a job and seriously limit the spending money you give her.

Since the is no law firm around you, have you thought of starting a business? You need to start making money.

LMAO

If it was the man that bought car for his mother, nairaland men will not let us hear word about their perfect mothers and how they deserve the entire world.

The lady should have discussed with her husband. It appears the husband’s ego has blocked his common sense, because this matter never reach divorce level.

Acmepreneur:

Everyone here has been saying I have low self esteem because I want him to better his life for his mother and siblings. I have no responsibility, of I decide not to work forever, I will feed, use better cloths, carry designer bags etc because I'm the last of 4 children well to do. Na only money I no go get.
Also I'm not asking him to pursue anything out of his own intrest, just telling him to pursue things in reasonable ways,for instance, he wants masters abroad, he can do it in Nigeria, he wants to travel out, he should start processing it, he want to have his own company, he should build it gradually not wait till he has millions etc

At bolded, STOP LYING.
You want him to make money for your own benefit. So you can finally present him to your family as a suitable husband material. Now that people are calling you out on it you have change mouth. For his mother and siblings indeed. *rolls eyes*

You should use all this energy to analyze your own life and make money. You are hell bent on marrying next year but you don’t have any income, no job or business. So what will you be bringing to your husband’s house? Let me guess, you will bring your dreams. Josephine the dreamer.

My friend when all your dreams and businesses start bringing in 90k/month then you can start dishing out advice. Right now You have zero experience in making money so why on earth do you think you are qualified to direct this young man’s life? That is like the blind leading the one-eyed. You better pause the dreams and start working.

You have dream, you have dream.

What are you doing about your own dreams

Abi your work is to be dreaming up and down?

Add more, since your father's family own milo factory.

This one is above our pay grade on Nairaland.

charleybam:
He needs a spiritual teacher/guardian(Not pastor) that should guide and teach him how to meditate,he should meditate daily and lastly,try as much as possible and get gemstones/crystals like black tourmaline and wear it in his pocket,it repels negativity and psychic attacks

Make research about my comment and thank me later

Did your read anywhere that the brother is suffering from “negativity and psychic attacks”?

Anni3e:
I have made up my mind, just if anything happens I want to have something to fall back on. When he nearly went broke in 2014, none of his brothers helped him, they all claimed broke still he doesn't want to learn . He won't listen to any advice, if I leave things to him, one day we might end up on the streets.

I knew it. SMDH.

Myhusband:
if that dude don't die, no peace whatsoever in your house no be lie, hard drugs go beyond spiritual and psychological


I would have advise you people to lure him to North Korea, one bullet will save the stress

adontcare:
God is not mocked. What a man/ woman sow, that they will reap. Ask ur mum and dad what they did wrong. There must be something evil they had done that is affecting ur 42 yr brother. The bible said, train up a child in d way that he should grow and when he is old he will not depart from it. They where sparing the rod on him and now spoilt

Wow, we are addressing drugs madness this one brought her own religious madness. Madam, let us finish with this one first, we will tell you which hospital to get your own treatment.

Many Nigerian families abuse first borns. The first borns sef internalize the abuse and it becomes part of their identity.
Their self fulfillment now comes from seeing the younger siblings succeed. Sometimes to the detriment of their own progress.
Your husband clearly has no ambition of his own.

ephapras:
Good day all, Please I will like to know home made remedy that can be applied to heal the burnt on my little child hand, he accidentally put hand inside hot Semolina and this got his hand burnt and later formed blisters, we have applied penicillin ointment, give him amplicox syrup and we are at the verge of buying dermacin cream now... it's one week now since the incident happened and we don't tends to see much improvement, we didn't want to go to hospital due to the present situation in the nation... please, is there anything that we can buy and apply as an addition to heal up the wound faster as I don't like the odour coming out of the hand at times....

Thanks as I await your contribution...

Stop using home remedies and get this child to an hospital. Don’t be an irresponsible parent. The smell could be an indication of infection which could escalate and cause amputation/sepsis e.t.c

Oga,

You already know the solution to your problem but you are not willing act on it. Even if we talk on nairaland from today till tomorrow, so will still not act until you are ready.

But for now, start practicing how to say NO. Use mirror, look yourself in the eye, say NO and maintain eye contact. Practice many times. NO, NO, NO!
NO is a complete sentence, no need for further explanation. And Nigerians need to learn how to say NO, especially to their family members.

When you are ready to take action. Give your sister date that her load will be taken out of your house (I recommend short time interval like 2 weeks). She will shout and complain and insult. Just keep saying NO. Any further requests to assist them in a way that impedes your own progress, what will you say? NO.
When the 2 weeks reach, what will you do? You will not chicken out. Repeat after me, I WILL NOT CHICKEN OUT. If you like, chicken out. You will continue to live with load someone else’s load.

From your story it appears your parents are also contributing to this menace. You can use this experience to learn more on how to deal with narcissistic, parasitic, Oliver-twistic and choosing-beggar family members.

nautybride:
You all ran away to marry when you were supposed to help train your brother. Everyone has his or her life to live. Find your father, keep him safe with any of you till he can go back to his home. Then, your mother at older age will see the folly of spoiling her only son. Be careful though, so that your brother won't be the cause of their end. Hypertension, heart attack is real.

Are you okay?
Help how? Na dem born am?
All of them should have stayed home to raise the 26 year old last born?

I treat my in-laws the same way their son treats them. Any complains? Direct them to their precious son. You didn’t raise a son that cooks and cleans and kisses your ass? Too bad.

I also treat my in-laws the same way their son treats my parents. If you visit my parents once in a blue moon, cross your legs and drop money without any effort in building a relationship, that’s exactly what your parents are getting from me. Any complains? Take a look at the mirror.

Get her into therapy.