₦airaland Forum

Eiregirl:
I hope that everything works out for her. I don't understand men like that!!!! Did he marry her because he thought she was a baby making machine or because he loved her & wanted to spend the rest of his life with her?  

Procreation is important in marriage.

Can a woman live with an infertile man= NO

Some people marry because they don't want children out of wedlock.

I think man is suspecting his wife did an abortion that affected her womb.

The couple should  go for comprehensive medical checkup.

[quote author=@TYM link=topic=754641.msg9109553#msg9109553 date=1315525016]Looking @ this issue psychologically, the lady n question hv invested so much n u, i want to admonish u to settle with her amicably cos know u hv deceived her, pls tell her u hv been deceiving her and beg her , Take your mum and your siblings and beg her. Because it is unfair for u to dump her after sleeping with her and spending her money. If she curses u Unclad it will work. u know u dont like her bt u r bound by her commitments so go make restitution! I wish u goodluck![/quote]MAN what are you smoking.

What is  all these notice about vehicle database.

The important thing is to link every drivers license to his/her  Vehicle/s  plate number(which is registered with engine and chases numbers).

So that the police, road safety e.t.c can easily identify a vehicle owner by looking at the plate number.

The current database does not  link drivers licence to his/her plate numbers.

In-fact most people without vehicles have drivers licence.

While some vehicle owners don't have drivers licence.

But the problem with Nigeria is enforcement and corruption.

ActiveMan:
They are many good girls out their,
My girl friend took me some month to get her, then all was  LOVE LOVE LOVE, now December will be our 5 years.

This was what i did

1. Make sure we went to the same University, the same course, the same department just a year different.
2. I keep a close look at her, gave her some space, and also sometimes i might be hard like the wood on her.

All this was not by my power but God

Also about material things, why would Your Girl need something from you and you can not provide her, huh?
If she ask 10 naira i would try to get her 8 naira.

it's 5 years now, so what will she ask me that i will not buy if i have the money. and if i do not have the money i save for her and i keep her down that i will get her the money in some matter of time

TO ME THEY ARE GOOD GIRLS OUT THERE.

BUT A GOOD GIRL CAN TURN TO BAD GIRLS OH IF NOT PROPERLY CHECK.

Note: I notice that all woman like material things.

Agreed, all women like material things.

But their is no law that say you must give or buy her anything.

She is not your wife, sister or mother.

She comes from a family and she has being surviving b4 meeting you.

I a relationship (bf/gf), you most try to avoid anything that involves money.

norrisman:
U guys are really cracking me up. I hope this new found belief in the judiciary is real and not just mere wishes based on contempt for Mr Ogunade. See people dey talk say the man will suffer in jail. In the same Lagos that you cant start digging the foundation for a house until you settle omo onile, the same Lagos that you have to settle before your C of O is released, the same Lagos we all know Tinunbu is milking and yet he walks free. I dey laff!. I say again, nothing will happen to the Mr Ogunade. All he has to do is grease a few palms and he will soon be able to rent his house to more deserving tenants who are willing to pay.

Useless tenants have been forcefully evicted before, they are being forcefully evicted as I type and will be forcefully evicted tomorrow and nothing will happen. If you cant pay the rent, dont come to Lagos! I have done it before and will do it again if the situation call for it. I evict you and board up my house, chikena!

I wonder why those wrethced souls in Mr Ogunade's house only claimed they had up to N1.2 million in the house, them for claim say dem wim lottery put N100 million for house.

Just STFU, abi the landlord na your papa?

From the report,i cannot find where it says the tenants didn't pay their rents.

So tell me how will a landlord forcefully evict his tenant and also plan demolish his house?

You and that man are simply a criminals.

The fact is that most of these landlords did not register their properties for business and they don't pay taxes on the rent they collect.

Yet they are behaving like demigods.

The govt must make it compulsory for landlord to register their properties for business and also pay taxes on those rents.

@OP,

Don't marry her, or else you will regret it.

She doesn't love you, she is just desperate to get married.

With all those threats, she will unleash hell on you.

Better run away now!!!

[quote author=tpia@ link=topic=754578.msg9105030#msg9105030 date=1315477807]^Not sure what your rant is about but i repeat- sim card registration should not be optional, especially in a crime-prone country like nigeria.

If the system being operated now is a pay as you go one, then that needs to stop and they should replace it with a contract based model same as what obtains in other countries.

Pay as you go do not constitute the bulk of cell phone service elsewhere and its actually a very wasteful and expensive type of mobile phone usage.[/quote]Sorry  sim registration is not the solution to crime.

Do you know that Telecom operators now sell registered sim cards ?

Where do think they get their data( pictures, fingerprint e.t.c) from : be my guest.

The truth is that most of these girls are the cause of their own problems.

Reading through the post i noticed that the girl went to her 2go BF's house herself not knowing what await her.

The-same way some UNILAG girls were murdered by ritualist some year ago.

Even female NYSC members fall into this trap .

For those saying behavioral pattern or attitude don't have links with rapes, are not being realistic .

Statistic from US and UK show that lonely women prostitutes, strippers, night-clubbers, are raped everyday.

That is why most of these women move in groups.

Even when their are laws against rape, women most be security cautious.

Builder:
Our leaders in nigeria in whatever feild are senseless fools, why must they always tell the US ambassor their plans. i mean its like the USA runs Nigeria directly, what a stupiddd country this is

The-same way SHELL and other Oil coys were busy bribing our SENATORS to kill the PIB.

Money and traveling documents are always used to lure our senseless leaders.

Outstrip:
Please don't take this personally but is this not a backward mentality. Even if Ibring an elderly man off the streets who is dirty and stinky I will expect everybody even my husband to respect him not just as a human being but as an elderly person. What is in a house that people are feeling big about. Is this the way that people who have no achievements in life use to feel big. it is shameful. What is the authority in the home that someone is afraid that their father in law will come in and attempt a military coup. Please it is very unbecoming to talk like that. Maybe we need to start looking at resumes before we marry our sisters out. If someone has nothing in life to be proud about besides the fact that he has married somebody then just let him be. This sort of person will go to work and his boss will tell him to face the wall and he will do it but then come home and become Doctor Barrister President Mr Husband who everybody must know at all times is IN CHARGE.

I am not ready to go that abusive road with you.

Their is a major difference between an old man and the Father in-law.

In Nigeria here we know regular conflicts between MIL/DIL and SIL/FIL.

In-fact most marriage counselors do advice in-laws to stay away for newly wedded couples to avoid these conflict.

ROSYL:
Shuuush! hotel accomodation indeed! so you will have the mind to allow your dad that worked so hard to get you to this stage in life to go and stay in hotel, while u have a comfy haus in same town, I tire for you I swear

Every family has its peculiarities.

In some families is it shameful for father in-laws to stay under his son in-laws roof.

It creates the impression that both men will be competing for  authority.

But the son in-law has authority over his house irrespective of whoever is living with him.

Baba should just stay away and let the young couple live their life.

peddylinko:
I STRONGLY DO NOT BELIEVE THAT LOVE EXIST (IN ROMANCE AND RELATIONSHIP)

ITS ONLY AN ATTRACTION DONT CALL IT LOVE.

MY POINTS

YOU ONLY GET TO LOVE SOMEBODY WHEN YOU FIND CERTAIN QUALITIES(OR U STAND TO GAIN SOMETHING) OR CHARACTER IN AN INDIVIDUAL (DO YOU DISAGREE? THEN FALL IN LOVE WITH A MAD PERSON)

IF I ASK THE QUESTION WHAT DO U WANT IN A PARTNER.

U ALL WOULD START LISTING VARIOUS THINGS,

NOW IF U FIND A PERSON WITH THIS QUALITY GBAM WITH TIME U GET EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED

U JUST FOUND your SO CALLED LOVE.

NOW IF U NO LONGER SEE THIS CHARACTERS, GBAM THE SO CALLED LOVE DISAPPEARS.

IF U ARE STILL SINGLE U FIND ANOTHER, IF YOU ARE MARRIED U START WISHING (HAVE U NOT BEEN A SITUATION WHEN THE IDEA JUST POP IN your HEAD WHEN U SEE SOMEONE WITH BETTER QUALITIES THAN your SPOUSE,U ARE LIKE "I WISH I HAD MARRY THIS PERSON"

U SEE "C" U ARE LIKE WOW, U TURN AND U SEE ANOTHER BETTER THAN "C"

FALL IN LOVE WITH A PERSON IN ONE STATE GO TO ANOTHER AND LOOSE CONTACT, WHEN U SEE SOMEONE WITH GREATER CHARACTER (NOTE THATS WHAT ATTRACTED U TO THE FIRST PERSON), LEMME SEE HOW THE SO CALLED LOVE HOLD.

AS FOR ME.
MANY GIRLS HAVE IN ONE WAY OR THE OTHER TRY TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH ME, BUT I JUST CANT BE IN LOVE WITH THEM NEITHER CAN I DATE THEM.

WHY SHOULD I FALL IN LOVE WITH U BECAUSE OF CHARACTER/QUALITIES AND SEE ANOTHER PERSON WITH SUCH QUALITIES/CHARACTER, THEN I HAVE TO TREAT U DIFFERENT AND SPECIALLY BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.

RUBBISH.

GBAM!!!

Help me tell them .

I have never Been In Love(IN ROMANCE AND RELATIONSHIP) and i will never be.

Because i am too logical .

Ironically mature women prefare logical men to romantic men

Good Relationship is about (understanding) give and take.

That delusion called "LOVE" is the reason why most modern marriages are failing.

Some Nlers are vary funny.

The OP is talking about the security situation in festac.

Nleres turned the tread into Automobile/Clubbing tread.

Outstrip:
Geez. People's responses here just make it seem to me that maybe the husband was just being childish. What is all this he owns the home. He is the head of the home. He bought the couch. He painted the wall. He paid her school fees.  It is so silly. Is it poverty that is causing this. The home belongs to the man and the woman. The man did not just walk in and see his father in law there. The father in law was not even staying for a long time. It does not matter if he sent his daughter to Harvard and it does not matter that the husband is the one paying for his father in laws upkeep. Are people really this unenliightened. It is obvious that people do not understand what the head of the house is responsible for. This is silly nonsense. It is so sad that a relationship that barely even had a chance to be built has been tainted by something so silly. Dad will always look at the son in law with a different eye now. Tomorrow she will have to ask the head of the house if he will prefer salt or maggi in his food. So childish

I see no reason to insult the poor husband here, because he already approved his Baba Iyabo visit.

The husband just suggested to Iyabo :

I actually told my husband, he said it was ok but at least my father should have called him too to inform him as his son in-law and the head of the house and a mark of respect

Is that too much to ask?

And instead of letting the issue die, Iyabo decide to  called her father, and told him what her hubby said.

Well Baba Iyabo didn't take the news well , so he called off the visit.

The Hubby has done noting wrong at all.

What is Baba Iyabo looking for, the marriage is just few weeks old and he is bringing confusing to the young couple.

If he is so protective of his girl, he shouldn't have given her out to be married.

ajirebi20:
Where in the story did you get the answer from?

Well, in the hierarchy of things, the father is ahead of the husband as far as the extended family is concerned. The Olori-ebi is always the head of the family. Who knows if the family is the Olori-ebi? Maybe, but no one knows?

I dont know. the OP did not tell us that. It may well be that the husband works for the father or got his job as a result of the father-in-law's connection. Who knows. That is most likely the case, if Yoruba movies are to be believed. But I dont deal with conjectures. You seem to be very good in that area. All these them say them say, I erm not that good at that.


Yes, it happens a lot in Yorubaland. I have seen it happen in Lagos and in so many present day villages. There is nothing untoward about it.

Not in the Yoruba land that I grew up in.

Lol, what  Olori-Ebi are you talking about, maybe you forgot that the OP's Hubby too comes from a family.

Tell me, should his father in-law be superior to the husband's father?

Weather the father in-law is feed, clothing and housing the couple is not a reason to look down on his son in-law.

If the son in-law says no to the visit, what can the father in-law do.

In Yoruba land, any father in-law that visits his son in-law without an important reason(naming, death e.t.c) do not demand respect.

Most father in-law would rather call, or send their wife or children to check on their daughter's well being.

ajirebi20:
You dont know that. talk about what you know to be true, not what you think is true. I hate conjectures.

What conjectures are you talking about,

Does the father own the house= NO

Is the father the head of the new family= NO

Is the father responsible for that family =NO

So are you saying the man can just walking into another family's house without informing them?

Look in YORUBA land here, it is rare to see Father in-laws going  to their daughter house.

ajirebi20:
Very unfortunate the state of our civilization. More pitiful is the mentality of the younger generation

This thread is a sombre reminder to us all that education isn't common-sense. And that in our eagerness to act all British-like and westernized, we have allowed western culture to subjugate our culture and we seem torn between wanting to be like the west versus maintaining our tradition. It may seem like the generations of today have all forgotten about our tradition and culture. But what I perceive is lack of conviction in the OP's inner-worth and a sense of inferiority to the husband. Maybe the Op is a housewife, lazy and utterly dependent on the husband?

It is more alarming because the same women would use every opportunity afforded them to rip African tradition as being suffocating to the wishes and aspirations of the modern women. they are always happy to be labeled independent woman. Some, enthusiastically wear the feminist toga. others proudly regale to us how they could get by without any man lording over them. Anyhow you look at it, they, most of these I-can-do-bad-by-myself, Nigerian woman are mostly western educated or have lived in the west for quite sometime. They repeat bumper stickers of 1960's events in the west that most westerners a la feminists are now trying to shy away from.

I long for the day when relatives could come to your house anytime, without informing you. One wonders how young couples of years ago did it, without phone and internet.

In this situation, the father has done absolutely nothing wrong. The OP is newly wedded and the father is still very unfamiliar with the son-in-law. It would have been awkward between the son-in-law and the father to have such conversation. It is akin to the father asking for help from the in-law. To the OP: your new husband may be your god. He may be your savior and he may have been the only one to ever get you to cloud nine. He is none of that to your father. Your father owes him no courtesy whatsoever. And so therefore he need not call him before spending a night or two at your place before embarking on his journey. What would you have done if he had simply showed up without calling either of you ahead? Are you guys Binobos, Being Intimate all the time in ever open space in your building that he has to call ahead so you two would put on your good-kids emblem on before he arrives? Or are you guys so dirty and animal-like that you need time to clean up before he comes.

To be sure: respecting your son-in-law is the ideal thing to do, but demanding to be respected is  ungentlemanly and the height of disrespect to your father in-law who was never in the know when the husband started stalking you, f/i/n/g/e/r/i/n/g you  e.t.c If your husband did not respect your father then ( when he started chasing your big bum-/bum, I see nothing wrong with your father paying your husband back in the same coin. Respect cuts both ways.

And to your egotistical husband who thinks he should be worshiped like a mammy-water by his father-in-law, well, may his son-in-law do same to him.

Of course, this can go down real fast. What else would your husband perceive as disrespect? If you hit hard times and your father decided to give you some money, directly wired into your account, would your husband be mad that the money was not given to him directly? If you mother inquires about your happiness, knowing full well that from here onwards, a huge percentage of your happiness is dependent on the state of your marriage, would you direct your mother to ask your husband instead.

This is unfortunately the state of our educated, but unenlightened Nigerian women, gradually eroding the gains of the great feminist movement;desecrating the memories of their heroines past in the process. Hmm, I hope the great African woman that fought to be taken seriously would look at the younger generation, like the OP and many of her cheerleaders on this thread with pride. SMH, I doubt that though

So you wrote this long epistle just to insult the OP's hubby.

Look here,  in Africa every man demand his own respect no matter how small it is.

The house belongs to the hubby and not the father in-law.

Courtesy demands that the father in-law infroms the head of that house about his visit.

If the father in-law is too arrogant to do that, he can take his daughter  d back.

akj2000:
Once a woman does not respect her husband again indirectly she telling u she has someone more respectable than her husband. No matter what she is going through, it is part of marriage experience but she need not to indulge in extra marital affairs. On your own part, Guy, money isn't d only happiness in marriage. Do you satisfy her sexually? What would made a married woman to remember her ex if she is satisfied by you. Take your time, think of what could have made her started this before you take any further step. For her to have married u, i believe she loves but if you are not meeting up/out pass d intimate performance of her ex she will keep on remembering him.

Do you expect the man to kill himself for his wife?

Marriage is all about sacrifice,

You can never get what you want, you have to manage what you have .

That woman is insatiable, i can never live with such a person.

debrief08:
I think your husband was very rude. I will never ask my mother in law to inform me after my husband has already told me that she is coming. Maybe its cultural differences I don't know but this kind of thing will earn u a family meeting where am from. Am sure d Dad feels more comfy asking his daughter than calling his son in law. This was very rude, if she did d same to his mom she would ve been out of the house now, I know this kind of people.

I see no reason for blaming the husband here.

The father in-law is going to another man's house, courtesy demands he tells the head of that house about his visit.

@OP you shouldn't be telling your father everything your husband says.

If you didn't tell your father about your hubby's comments this issue won't arise.

Wisdom is important.

Why are people saying love is in the heart.

Does the heart think- NO

Does the heart reasons- NO

The brain contains a limbic system that controls emotion.

Love=Emotion

Love is in the brain.

Beaf:
Sometimes I wonder if you are obscenely daft.
Nobody is asking you to "spare" anyone, its left to you to display your upbringing and morality.

Who the phuck is Buhari? Was he ever elected, or is he a criminal that broke the law and truncated a democratic govt at gunpoint like an armed robber or rap!st? In other countries, he would be in jail.

After the civil war, our elected Presidents are Obj (with strong reservations), Shagari, Yar Adua and GEJ. The rest that seized power by force of arms us are criminals.

So the rest(Zik,Tafawa Balewa e.t.c) are not Not Nigerian leaders because you didn't elect them.

Please continue your PR with JoeTrippi and stop giving Nigerians headache.


Sycophancy is a disease.

@OP

Forget what this women are telling you.

YOUR WIFE IS CHEATING ON YOU WITH HER BOYFRIEND.

And she is taking your patience for granted.

Vary soon she will sell off your property and run away with her boyfriend.

Show her the YELLOW CARD now.

Let her know that divorce is an option if she continues that way.

You better do something, before something do you.

True, Ikoyi is a no go area for an average Man .

Currently In Banana Island, Parkview, Glover and Water-Side   plot of land goes for N400m-N500m, and that is if you can get one.

Haba, she is not that bad with her Oblong Face Shape.

Is just that her face is get older.

If she younger you will like her with that face.

PStylish:
This is why I said you are fast becoming a psycho.
You claim to be living and enjoying a first class life in obodo oyinbo yet you hate your landlord(oyinbo man) from the bottom of your heart.
You said I am living from hand to mouth and blah blah blah and yet I have no grudge whatsoever against the oyinbo man cos my destiny is not in his hands like yours is.
Are you not an ingrate??
You better dont let them read your nairaland posts otherwise they will deport you to your original home "dungeon".

Bros, please leave cap28 alone.

Just imagine the way he describe freedom, then you will understand how he reasons.

Well some prisoners in Europe are getting free and better electricity supply, food, medical care e.t.c than some Africans

It think he should go to those Prisons and understand what freedom means.

See Nigerians supporting that tyrant called  Gaddafi.

So because  Gaddafi , gave his 6million people "free this free that " he is no more a tyrant and he should be allowed to rule forever.

The-same Libya that  Gaddafi ordered all internet connections shut down until the rebels took-over Tripoli.

Yet some people who are enjoying 42/7 internet are typing nonsense on NL.

If the-same  Gaddafi  is made a Nigerian leader today most of you will oppose him.

Because you value your freedom.

Why are people complaining.

Fashola did not reduce housing rent, he only reduced the duration of payments.

If the-same tenant stays in that house for two years, he will still pay the-same old rent or more.

[quote author=dan_dollar link=topic=743332.msg9000117#msg9000117 date=1314224079]Libya has finally entered into the hands of radical islam.its now an iranian proxy just like egypt.this was what mubarak and ghadaffi were trying to prevent.they had their excesses though.libya and egypt are going to be worse off.watch out.[/quote]Everybody with their theories.

Some are claiming Libya has falling to Western Powers.

Others are claiming Iran and radical Islamist have taken over Libya.

But one thing is certain Gaddafi is gone after 42years

Lol.Men and their weakness for women.

Another man is probably Zap.i.n.g her well in 9ija.

And You are busy killing yourself .

Why are people saying age is not an issue?

Age is an issue in the any relationship, and your wife knows it, that is why she is brought-up the house-help joke.

If you are not married to her you probably be calling her Aunty , and be answering with MA.

For her to tell you to vacate your room for her sister is totally wrong'

I bet she won't do the-same your own family.

In these situation, you need to be bold and confident when talking to her.

If you don't like her actions tell her to her face.

Claus:
The way I keep hearing about how some women call the cops (unnecessarily), maybe they should increase their taxes to pay for all the call-outs. The police must be tired of attending Nigerian domestic issues by now.

The men too need to start calling the cops on their wifes.

jennykadry:
But you people get mind? where was your conscience then?

Now you see why some men complain about women.

Some of us had worst experience .