₦airaland Forum

Ana me ekene unu O!

Ndewo nu. Kedu ka unu me?? O di kwa mma?

Padded is different from fully-loaded. "Padded benz" I've never heard of padded toyota, or padded honda O

Opkolo; Honda civic 1999or 2000 _{not too sure} (the one with the big head lights).
Chan ha; Brand new

I was going to curse and swear at Oprah, but then I just realised that it is of no use.

I have always been of the opinion that oprah is full of shit, this only goes to prove it. Her money is obviously making her stupid. Next thing will be all sudanese people are poor, or all liberians are warlords, or all the children in africa are malnourished.

Oprah is obviously ignorant, so this should be an eye-opener to all you oprah fans/addicts.

Ndi Ohaneze, ekene m unu O!! Ndewo nu

Ke ka unu me??

Our reputation. That one is something that will take devine intervention o! There is nothing any counsular can do.

If a whiteman wants to do business in the Niger Delta areas today, do you want the counsular to say there isnt any chance of him being kidnapped?? Or that there isnt a possibility of an aircraft running into a herd of cows on the runway of an international airport?? or what??

Our country bad, and that is a fact. All we can do now is insist that those elected into power, take the appropriate actions to rectify the situation in the country.

charity begins at home.

My country people. You people cannot wait to jump at the first chance you have to scream racism.

-I can bet you that most of the people in that gathering do not have the correct papers, which makes them illegal immigrants, which is an offence.
-We have a rule in Nigeria which is obey before complain. Why couldnt Osuofia obey a simple order?? What if it was a bomb threat they were responding to?
-They shoved him violently. Many Nigerians which the mopols and police will only shove them violently. If it were in Nigeria He would have recieved the beating of his life.
-The Nigerian Counsular or High commissioner should take action.
-They let the whites go. Ofcourse. If Nigerian police moves to raid a white gathering, they will let the blacks go (irrespective of nationality) and deal with their main priority which in this case was Nigerians (and unfortunately, most of us are black).
-Imagine Osuofia talking to the policeman. "Bia, what is going on here??". Imagine what that sounds like to an average dutch policeman who does not understand hi in english.


I would like to hear their side of the story also.

The policy is very stupid when looked at closely.

Like someone rightly said, what about girls who were raped by force or druged, who dosent/hasent make/made mistakes in his/her life. HIV according to the university policy is only contracted by sex. What about those who got it by either blood transfusion, blades, e.t.c.

You can see that this policy is highly flawed, and should be changed.

On the real, The University should be closed and investigated. The Student union shold look into this issue. even embark on a strike action. The affected students should file a class action suit against the university. The gorvernment should keep an eye on all privately owned institutions of higher learning.

Militia my sister, No mind dem. E don reach their turn all of them don dey sing one nigeria but make the boy name change to Ikenna Chidiebere you for see all the rubbish wey for don fall out from their mouth.

I understand what yall is saying but I'm sticking with the tribalism side. A YORUBA MAN IS A TERRORIST, deal with it. They should check he might even be linked to al-queda.

Jesus said, he who is without sin let him cast the first stone.

Oyedepo like other christians today has not only cast the first stone, he brought his own catapult. Isnt it obvious that christians only pick the part of the bible that is convineint for them. If you go ask him, he will show you somewhere in the bible were his actions are justified.

@ chori

I am also supposed to be a christian, but I've seen more than my fair share of hypocricy. What I'm saying is the truth and you know it. I'm really sorry if you feel I'm picking on christianity _{or your religion}, but I'm only saying what I've noticed.

Jesus does not have to preach it, if any part of the bible even gives a slight hint of it then its alright by most christians. Jesus preached love, Mountain of fire preaches "die by fire".

I dunno. she dumped my ass. Said I wasnt serious, and that I had issues. Can you believe that??

The truth is, the bitch was cheating on me and I knew it, but the sex was good so I did nothing. She realised that i was only down for the sex part so she split. good ridance to bad rubbish.

I am not inciting nothing O! I am not a muslim so I cant talk about their own. But Christians who are "the righteous" that are supposed to be the liberals are the ones promoting such hate and discrimination. I didn't instigate nothing, the writing is there on the wall _{or in the newspaper} for all to see. What next, Muslims cant attend their university, or maybe catholics, or even diabetics. Or like someone said non-virgins will be their next target.

If this is not an example of Christianity like other religions being destructive, then what is. All churches should be banned from venturing into any other franchise _{(cos they will only end up promoting more hate and segregation in the society)}. All church owned Universities, shops, e.t.c should be seized. The finances of churches should be monitored by the government and EFCC. I believe that these pastors are wielding too much power.

We are all talking about convenant simply because their own has been made public, but this thing is being encouraged by other so-called christians like him. Instead of healing the sick they are driving them away, instead of advising and encouraging these young mothers they are depriving them of their certificates that could only help them become better individuals in the future.

My stand remains, Christianity like other religions is destroying us. My opinion.

As a kid, my mum beat the shit out of me on a regular basis. If a mug fell to the ground and broke, I got beating, If she called me and for any reason I didnt respond, I got beating, She finds me playing outside with the kids in the neighbourhood, more beating, She misplaces her money or watever, I get beating, I get a bad grade, I get beating, and it just goes on. One time she even threw bottles at me. Her weapons of choice included Copper wire, belts (the head), Sticks, pots and anything in the visinity. And the scary part was that although I had two other sisters, I was the only person that was being assaulted. My dad always tried to explain it away _{(its for your own good.)}. I still hate my mum even today.
I saw a shrink in London and New York and both said I needed to confront my past, but that is a place I do not want to visit.

I will discipline my Kids, but I will never abuse them.

I have said it 1million times over that these so-called christians are the ones destroying Africa. A continent with more churches than banks, schools and any other social or economic infrastructure, yet the poorest in the world.


I'm not suprised. What do you expect when a dumb ass pastor thinks he can run a University. I was expecting to hear that the students had to be born-again to enroll/graduate. I think the ministry of education should close down all those mediocre universities. If y'all should hear the ridiculous rules that apply in those universities you'll laugh yourself to death.
A university is supposed to be a place where adult minds are groomed, But all these pastors have decided to ridicule the whole thing. Boys dont walk with girls, no relationships, lights out, chapel time, e.t.c. What a joke. I imagine the kind of socially redundant students they are training.
What is the student union doing about these universities sef?? And the parents and students should file a class action suit against the university. I believe there should be a law against such discrimination.

OgidiBoy:
I'm surprised where are all the Igbo haters, make una come see oh!!

Nna find dem. Kpo ha ni ne, ndi anumani. Fa bia fu nwanne fa. Onye ofe mmanu bu terrorist.

@ Topic

If na South south pikin now, Una for don call am militant. If na Easterner, Una for say Igboman don start again. Now na Westener, all of una dey call am Law abiding citizen abi?? Make una leave hypocricy hand make hypocricy leave una too.

k0be:
must people always retort to tribalism.

Yes O! yes . O now that a yoruba man is involved it is tribalism abi?? Absolute rubbish

Iskwew:
my boyfriend only loves me when I have money. But I do love him. What do I do now? Are there any men out there who can love a woman even if they don't have money?

Muhahahahahahahaha!! This is sounding quite nice. So now that the batton has changed hands you are now crying wolf. Well get over it honey, and welcome to our world. You said you do love him, well I say you either keep him on your payroll or kick him like a bad habit.

And the question about men loving women who are broke, hmmm!! let me see ******* ******* Its everywhere.

Nne oma biko gba ara m. nwanne m ki bu. Icho ka m nnwo?? biko o! ekpere ndi mountain of fire di kwa dangerous

Ndi Igbo Ekene m uno O!

Ke ka unu me??

Padded is strictly for Mercedes benz cars. Benzes with a rubber body kit that runs around the lower end of the car.
Amana Tight or Amana chilling or Orye tight; Factory fitted Air-conditioners
Gbedu Blasting; Tight Sound System
Yeah Babyboy means the 1999 Honda accord (a.k.a Honda bullet).

I've had a total of 4 HIV test carried out on me.

The first one was carried out without my knowledge. I only found out after I saw the result. The last one was the scariest cos I had been doing some wild phocking. But its all good, cos I came back clean. Phew!! That was close. So now I always use a CD.

@Sweet T

Free the babe jare, You wey dey attack her you be Jesus?? Dont bring your holier than thou attitude into Nairaland O! Freedom of speech is allowed.

All of you are just talking.

How many of you have had the pleasure of being beating up by the Nigerian Mobile Police a.k.a (MOPOL). Those people only learn how to brutalize people in that their police college. My life never remained the same again after I received two well packaged slaps from a mobile police officer for smoking while talking to him. That day I learnt the lesson of my life. THE FEAR OF MOPOL, IS THE BEGINNING OF WISDOM.

There was a period when I learnt the Nigerian police had set up a task force to fish out corrupt officers especially the ones at checkpoints. One evening on NTA's 9:00pm network news, I saw the horror of my life. The task force approached a checkpoint and sprung a surprise on the Mobile policemen on duty there. Members of the task force Identified themselves and asked the MOPOL to surrender his weapon. The policeman jumped into the bush and started running. while he was running he was shooting sporadically behind him. The members of the task force, the reporters and the other policemen on duty there had to take cover. These are the people we gave guns to. They recorvered about 5000naira from the men.

Ndi Igbo Ndewo nu O!!

1 million wetin?? For who?? To do wetin?? Chop?? She be Jesus sister??

Even if na beyonce sef. I no go pay shishi. Babes wey fine pass her full this Nairaland, talkless of Nigeria. Omo shine ya eye O! No babe worth 1million naira.

I know say people don tell me say I dey mad O, But wen I dey for una mist, I dey feel like Einstein.

@ Cheigemba

How you go born [b]21 umu ada [/b]and expect the man to dey house?? Na there your problem start. Biko how you dey manage with all of dem??

[quote author=blue-sky link=topic=67599.msg1314569#msg1314569 date=1185147516]
u want to sign up with the 3% success rate, and have the risk of burning your face from all that bleach.[/quote]Bia Bluesky, why are you trying to pour sand inside my garri?? Why are you conspiring to destroy my business? What did I do to you? 3% is enough guarantee for anybody. atleast there will be a change in your looks _{thats for sure}. If you dont trust my medicine then dont try it but biko dont drive away my costumers O!.

michelin89:
Esss has proposed some solutions but the problem is they have 3% of success. I am really desperate!

Just believe in me & forget the 3% guarantee, thats just a number.

Islander:
@Esss is this thingy refundable? I work very hard, so I am very serious with regards to money,

We dont do refunds yet. The problem is that the Association of medical practitioners and plastic surgeons dont want my drugs/remedies to see the light of day because they know it will take away all their clients. So they have connived with NAFDAC and EFCC _{(I wonder wetin concern EFCC and medicine)} and they are trying to arrest me. So the drug is not NAFDAC approved. but it is worth investing in. Even if it dosent work for you, at least it was cheap.

davidylan:
@ Esss, would this remedy work for the genetically unbeautiful? I mean those born ugly?

We are still researching a cure for that kind of wor-wor. Since the wor-wor is in their blood, it is just like AIDS. So it will take a long time to find a cure.
But in the main time people with this kind of problem could walk around with a mask on their face and pretend its Halloween or dress like the muslims.

[quote author=blue-sky link=topic=67599.msg1314498#msg1314498 date=1185145936]haba, do u want to burn people's face

if your 2 ugly, then plastic surgery is your only hope, it can do wonders. Just watch extreme makeover to c what i mean.[/quote]Not everybody can afford a plastic surgeon. I'm only offering cheap alternative medicine. And all my drugs/remedies come with 3% success guarantee, a trial will convince you.

@ Topic

If you really feel like you are ugly and need to improve on your looks, then you are in luck. I studied cosmetology _{part time}. Although I never graduated but atleast I learnt small thing.

Follow these steps;
1. Bath with Dudu Osun four times a day.
2. Rub TURA bleaching cream after every bath.
3. Grind Bitterleaf and mix it with Ugwu leaf (pumpkin leaf} and drink it at night before you sleep. _{For fresh skin}
4. Mix Parazone bleach with limestone and close-up toothpaste and rub it on your face before going to bed at night. _{dont ask me why, just do it}
5. Change your diet. Stop eating all these rich peoples food. you need to be slim like the children in Darfur. So you will start eating dry garri, palmnuts, Kwili kwili and sugarcane, dry bread without tea.
6. Exercise. You need to start trekking to all your destinations. Start doing manual labour.


_{Warning; If these methods dont work, please contact Dr Beverly hills 90210, or your nearest plastic surgeon.}

So P.diddy, or P.daddy, puff diddy, or puff Love Machine****whateva that ignorant, descendant of a slave, son of a bitch calls himself came to NIGERIA, and dissed us. Wonders shall never cease. That mutha Fuc.ker prolly stayed in Nicon or Sheraton or Le Meridean and was driven in an airconditioned vehicle with escorts and shit and just in a bid to say sumtin bad bout africa he started runnin his mouth off.

I realised most of y'all are classifying or insinuating that poverty abounds in Nigeria, I say y'all are just myopic. Yes there are a couple of peeps who hustle hard and get peanuts for their efforts, yes our economy could be better, Yes we should be doing better than we are at the moment. But dont forget our past. It took america 200years to get to were they are today.

Now this is how it is
1. Is Africa a poor continent?? Hellz yeah.
2. Is Nigeria a poor Nation?? Bleep no.
3. Is P.diddy right to say poverty is all over the place?? No.
4. Name the poverty stricken nations in Africa. Rwanda (which is actually recovering quite nicely), Liberia, Sudan, Sierra Leone, e.t.c

Real MC's like Wyclef Jean, Jay-Z, Beyonce e.t.c have been to Nigeria, and performed at bigger concerts than diddy did, and actually enjoyed their stay. Wyclef even rode on a bike and somked 9ja weed _{(which I must add is the best I've ever tasted)} . So what gives puffy the ballz to diss. If he wants to see poverty, he shoul go to Harlem, or Queens.

Naija is rich. We just dont like to front our paper.

How to make our children african?? Hmm

This is very hard if the child in question is over the age of 10, and has lived all his/her life abroad.

I was born in the village, stayed there for years and then we moved to lagos. The ghetto part of lagos. then port-harcourt (first the ghetto). All these areas taught me alot. Steet mentality, culture, language, tradition, e.t.c. Its not like we were poor, no. we just didnt have money.

These days children dont give a fuc.k bout culture no more. A lil kid see an elder and greet the elder "HI" with his cap on his head and standing akimbo while thrusting out a hand. Children cant even speak their local languages talk less of cook our local dishes {thanks to fast foods} . They dont even eat garri. They dont know how to wash plates (thanks to houseboys/girls and dish washers). Wake up in the morning they cant make thier beds. They cant wash their clothes (thanks to washing machines & dryers), They even swear and cuss in the house (in front of elders). A girl will wear some outrageously sexy outfit and walk out of the house (not that I'm complaining) and no questions asked. Ask for the oyinbo bred kids, if you make mistake flog them, Na you and child/social services, police and judge go settle your child abuse wahala.
I remember when I was little, in the evening after NEPA has struck, we will all gather outside and play and sing in our native language. My mum told me stories in Igbo language. When I was leaving Nigeria, my grandmum made me promise not to forget my native language. How many of our kids today know the name of any traditional games. All they want is PLAYSTATION 3, PSP, GAMEBOY, NINTENDO e.t.c. How many can tell riddles in their native languages?? Zero (they rather play sudoku, crossword puzzles, e.t.c). How many of them has ever had to walk miles to the stream to fetch water to bath or fanned firewood to burn?? None (thanks to jacuzzis, spas, bathtubs, water heater, e.t.c). How many of them can plant cassava or has ever been to a farm?? nil (thanks to department stores, canned foods e.t.c), How many can put the thread in a lantern?? Nada (all they know is generator), How many of dem has had that joy of swimming in the village stream/river?? nada (thanks to bar beach, swimming pools) I remember when we use to walk into the bush to pluck palm fruits to use and drink garri. _{Those were the real good ole days}

In oder to make our kids african, we need to send them on a SURVIVOR mission/ DT (domestic training) in our villages (the real shit not those village clones{G.R.A}) for at least five years. I bet you you will see a change. For God sake I saw a Gay Nigerian man in london. (wat the Bleep is that?).

Ikamefa, If award dey for who crase pass. You and Tafari go dey drag the gold medal.

And who be all this new crase people wey I dey see so?

Let us break this thing down. The term "OUR LADIES", are you referring to African women?? If yes then this is my answer. Just a hand full. America and Oprah winfrey has destroyed our african ladies. All they know is hamburger, chips, chicken peri-peri, and chicken jambalaya. Our African dishes are not something you can learn off of a cookbook.

Check out the categories of ladies

1. Aje butters; Due to their upbringing, nothing this class of girls/ladies sabi. Dem no even fit boil egg. These ones only know Mr. Biggs, Tantalizers, KFC, Mac donalds, Subway, and the home delivery number of all the fast food outlet. This group i very abundant (as nobody dey gree marry dem).
2. Cream: Although their mama actually try to teach dem, becos dem dey form, dem no learn anything. But dem dey try. This group need manual (Cookbook) to cook. Even to make garri. But atleast dem dey make effort.
3. Area; These ones sabi cook O! but dem no just send. Their eye dey chook for only money.
4. Regular; These ones learn how to cook. Although their talent no strong like their mama own, but them dey really try.
5. Village girl; This ones can cook anything ranging from Nkwobi, to isi-ewu, to fresh fish peppersoup to ofe owerri down to Ugba and Opkoroko. These are the girls that make pounded yam from real yam and not yam flour. They can manufacture soups that have not been named yet. They even cook foods that are not native to their area. These girls are amazing. But the problem is that these ones no sabi book. Dem stop for class five. And they are slowly going extinct. They are an endangered specie. Thanks to our guys who come back from obodo oyibo and marry dem.


I have decided that I will date a cream girl then send her for two years DT (domestic training) with my mum and grandmum. The first year will be with my mum, the second year will be with my grandmum. If she can graduate with a second class upper, then we will get married. but anything below that, sorry.