₦airaland Forum

Dont get me wrong, I really think it is a lovely idea. BUT I just cant do it. I'd rather be standing outside the door than actually be inside there with her while another man pokes his hand around her vagingo while she screams her head off in pain and _ecstacy. And to make matters worse, our child will be witnessing all this. I just cant do it. A pregnant woman is a major bitch, let alone one that is about to give birth. I'm not cut out to handle that kind of drama. We can bond when shes done. Her mum, or her sister or my sister can go in with her.

I cant afford his services, I dont have the intentions of having a womb, let alone bearing a child.

He can improve on Gods perfection

@ Topic

Awww! How lovely and romantic. The husband standing there beside the woman holding her hands while she screams obscenities at everyone around. Then the baby comes out looking so cute and bloody. Awww! that will be really nice.

>Ask for me? lai lai. Infact by the time shes in her third trimester, I'll be as far away from her as possible. Her mother can be in the theater with her but not me. I'll call her on her mobile to find out how it all went when shes done. For those who can do it, I really respect y'all but those who cant or wont, Its all good.

Chiori:
even if a man can be made to carry pregnancy, how is he going to deliver? throught the penis? can anyone improve on God's perfection?

Yep. Dr Berverly hills 90210.

Dude, I love rock music, be it alternative or metal.

>The question of rock music being of the devil is just down right ignorant. The truth is that most people fear what they don't understand. Every genre of music has/had a purpose. Romance/R&B/Jazz for lovers, Rap/Hip-hop music to promote "black culture"/life in the streets e.t.c, reggae was to pass on the message of rastafariansm. So also does rock music have its purpose. In my opinion, rock music is mainly bout rebelion. Rock is always preachin against somethin.
>I'd rather be listening to my Linkin Park, Nikelback, Evanesence, Avril lavigne, All American rejects, Green day, Aerosmith, guns and roses rather than listen to 50cents.

I'm not going to hit with all this touchy feely bull crap bout shying away from responsibility and abortion being murder and all that mambo jambo, No.

If I were in your shoes, I will weigh out my options properly.
>You said your peeps dont approve of the relationship, So bloody what?? I couldn't care less bout that whole sentimental, parents blessing, traditional stuff. If you really want to get married to the chick, ur parents are not, and should neva be an issue. As long as you are alright with the girl and vice versa, and the whole xtain/muslim thing dont bother both of u, then wat de hell are u waitin for??
>You used the word "hope", Does that mean you are have the financial wherewithal to take care of yourself and the lady? (i.e you are no longer dependent on daddy for money), if so, are you mentally, physically and emotionally ready to cope with the ups and downs of marriage?? if you are then I think it is only wise to keep the baby, get married and screw both your parents _{(i.e if the girl is also ready)}.
>Abortion. Firstly I have no problems with it at all _{(as long as it is done legally and carried out by qualified doctors/surgeons)} . But I do believe that decision bout terminating a pregnancy should lie solely with the mother. So if you do decide to eject the kid, make sure the girl agrees to it and is comfortable with the idea.
>My guy it is your life you are talking bout, your parents have lived theirs, they can and should only advice you and not actually pattern you life. What if you miss out on what could have been the best decision of ur life simply becos ur peeps dont like muslims or hindus or wateva?? This is a totally new era, things have changed alot since their time.
>In wateva you do, dont use this pregnancy as a weapon/tool to gain the approval of your peeps, they are not worth it _{(NO DISRESPECT)}. If you must abort the pregnancy, let it be for a good reason and not becos of ur parents.

My opinion.

opps. ur name rang a bell. but thats the wrong school.

knust and you didnt add yegoala, cheers bar, time out, jokers in ur list.

tomi wat sch are u in?

Facts bout Ghana from a nigerians point of veiw.

1naira = 65cedis _{(Note; Ghana is re-denominating their currency so shit will be changing or has changed already, under the new currency system, 10,000cedis = 1cedis.)}

100 US dollars = approx. 920,000cedis = 92cedis _{(new currency system).}

1 bottle of beer = 7000cedis - 10,000cedis (depending on the bar.)


If you are going on vacation, then you'll definitely want to visit Cape Coast. The town is off the chain. beautiful scenery, lovely beaches, Slave trade Castles (all over the place). Elmina Hotel in Cape coast is a site to behold. Cape coast has no night life.
Takoradi is also a nice place to visit. its almost like cape coast, but with fewer beaches, or rather the beaches are not in town. But they have a very vibrant night life.
Kumasi is a commercial city. Not much happening there with regards to tourism.
Accra is lovely, and equally expensive. Has a very active night life, and in the day time most of the activity is in OSU or Nkrumah Circle. Tema also has nice beaches. its bout 30mins from Accra.
There are some other nice places up north, but I cant say much bout them


N.B; Ghanaians are very peaceful people, but most of them (esp. the ignorant ones) hate Nigerians _{(I think it has to do with the Ghana must go stuff)}. Ghanaians can be crooks and cunning in a nice way. But the place is generally nice.

WHY I CEASED VISITING RICH PEOPLE.


BELOW WAS AN ENCOUNTER WITH A RICH FRIEND DURING A VISIT TO HIS HOUSE SOMETIME IN 1999.


Question: "What would you like to have , Fruit juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?"
Answer: "Tea please."
Question: "Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Iced tea or green tea?"
Answer: "Ceylon tea."
Question: "How would you like it? black or white?"
Answer: "White."
Question: "Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk?"
Answer: "With milk."
Question: "Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk?"
Answer: "With cow milk please.
Question: “Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?"
Answer: "Um, I'll take it black."
Question: "Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?"
Answer: "With sugar."
Question: "Beet sugar or cane sugar?"
Answer: "Cane sugar."
Question: “White, brown or yellow sugar?"
Answer: "Ooh, Forget about tea just give me a glass of water instead."
Question: "Mineral water or still water?"
Answer: "Mineral water."
Question: "Flavoured or non-flavoured?"
Answer: "Leave it I'm OK".

I simply got up and left.


(culled from *******)

Little Old Lady Shouts "Praise The Lord!"

Way to go! Way To Go !!!!! There was a little old lady who was very spiritual who would step out on her porch every day, raise her arms to the sky and yell, "Praise the Lord." One day, an atheist bought the house next door to her, and he became very irritated with the spiritual lady. So after a month or so of her yelling, "Praise the Lord" from her porch, he went outside on his porch and yelled back, "There is no Lord." Yet, the little old lady continued. One cold, wintry day, when the little old lady couldn't get to the store, she went out on her porch, raised her hands up to the sky and said, "Help me Lord, I have no more money, it's cold, and I have no more food." The next morning, she went outside, and there were three bags of food on the porch, enough to last her a week."Praise the Lord," she yelled. The Atheist stepped out from the bushes and said, "There is no Lord hahaha, I bought those groceries!" (Hold on, the ending is pretty good!). ************ The little old lady raised her arms to the sky and said, "Praise the Lord, you sent me groceries and you made the Devil pay for them!"

Ndi Igbo Kwenu O!

Ana m Ekene m unu ni ne O!

Ndi Ohaneze
Ndi Nne
Ndi Nna
Ndi Nwa ada
Ndi Obi

Mma mma nu o.

Kedu ka unu di.

How do you know if you're in love, lust, or marriage?




LOVE - - when your eyes meet across a crowded room.
LUST - - when your tongues meet across a crowded room.
MARRIAGE - - when your belt won't meet around your
waist, and you don't care.

LOVE - - when intercourse is called making love.
LUST - - all other times.
MARRIAGE - - what's intercourse?

LOVE - - when you argue over how many children to
have.
LUST - - when you argue over who gets the wet spot.
MARRIAGE - - when you argue over money.

LOVE - - when you share everything you own.
LUST - - when you think twice about giving your
partner bus money.
MARRIAGE - - when the bank owns everything.

LOVE - - when it doesn't matter if you don't climax.
LUST - - when the relationship is over, if you don't
climax.
MARRIAGE - - what's a climax?

LOVE - - when you phone each other just to say
"Gidday".
LUST - - when you phone each other just to arrange
sex.
MARRIAGE - - when you phone each other to find out
what time your son's game starts.

LOVE - - when you write poems about your partner.
LUST - - when all you write is your phone number.
MARRIAGE - - when all you write are checks.

LOVE - - when you show concern for your partners'
feelings.
LUST - - when you couldn't give a sh*t.
MARRIAGE - - when your only concern is what's on TV.

LOVE - - when your farewell is "I love you darling
, "
LUST - - when your farewell is "So, same time next
week?"
MARRIAGE - - when your farewell is silent.

LOVE - - when you are proud to be seen in public with
your partner.
LUST - - when you only ever see each other in the
bedroom.
MARRIAGE - - when you never see each other awake.

LOVE - - when your heart flutters everytime you see
them.
LUST - - when your groin twitches everytime you see
them.
MARRIAGE - - when your wallet empties everytime you
see them.

LOVE - - when nobody else matters.
LUST - - when nobody else knows.
MARRIAGE - - when everybody else matters and you don't
care who knows.

LOVE - - when all the songs on the radio describe
exactly how you feel.
LUST - - when it's just the same mushy old sh*t.
MARRIAGE - - when you never listen to music.

LOVE - - when breaking up is something you try not to
think about.
LUST - - when staying together is something you try
not to think about.
MARRIAGE - - when just getting through today is your
only thought.

LOVE - - when you're interested in everything your
partner does.
LUST - - when you're only interested in one thing.
MARRIAGE - - when you're not interested in what your
partner does and the one thing you're interested in is
your golf score.

Live life to the fullest




What would you do if you caught Osama Bin Laden

Married 9 Times, and Still a Virgin?


A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin." "What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?" "Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be." "Husband #2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me." "Husband #3 was from Field Services; he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up." "Husband #4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver." "Husband #5 was an Engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method, " "Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not" "Husband #7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it." "Husband #8 was a psychiatrist; all he ever did was talk about it." "Husband #9 was a gynecologist; all he did was look." "Husband #10 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was, God, I miss him!" "But now that I've married you, I'm so excited!" "Good," said the husband, "but, why?" "You're with the Government. This time I KNOW I'm gonna get SCREWED!"

Bust a cap in his ass.







What would you do if you found out you had AIDS?

Father Explains Condoms to Son

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son.

They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad? The man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex." "Oh I see," replied the boy. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school."

He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks,

"Why are there 3 in this package?" The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys, one for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday." "Cool" says the boy.

He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?" "Those are for college men," the dad answers, "TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday." "WOW!" exclaimed the boy,

"Then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack. With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied, "Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March, "

A Really Ugly Woman


A Really Ugly Woman

An ugly woman walks into a shop with her two kids.

The shopkeeper asks, "Are they twins"?

The woman says, "No, he's 9 and she's 7. Why? Do you think they look alike?"

"No", he replies, "I just can't believe you got laid twice"!

mgilesanmi:
Great arguements I must say.I do not intend to pitch my tent with any side of the divide.For those of us in support of the HIV test,what would you do if you are a parent to baby Eniola who was accidentally infected with HIV at the foremost and prestigious Lagos University Teaching Hospital,LUTH, by eminent nigerian medical professors?What would you do if you discover that just like the over 400 Libyan children, a doctor had intentionally or unintentionally infected you with HIV, What will you do if you accidentally become infected with HIV just like Eniola?I hope some of us realise that in a country like Nigeria, a lot of HIV infections are not tranmitted via sex( could by among other thins, clippers or syringes!).I do hope if any pro HIV test fellow finds himself in any of these situations above,he will be very glad to be discriminated against in SCHOOL,at WORK PLACE, on the football field ,In the house,By his parents,By his spouse, By his siblings and even in the Church and Mosque.AMEN and AMEN and AMEN.
CASE DISMISSED!

You just took a side. Is this your idea of sitting on the fence??

Church Services boring?? , What an understatement, The whole thing is not just boring, but also annoying. You sit there and a pastor is trying to shove his own understanding of the bible down your troath and if you dare argue you are a sinner. And they must end with their favourite line "dig your hands into your pocket and give your widows mite, or "challange God with your offering", or "sow a seed faith". Back in the dayz when I was in 9ja, I will walk out during service and just sit in a corner with some boys and smoke the whole service away. The end point of every service is give us your money, repent or go to hell, Jesus is coming tomorrow, someone is plotting/sending evil forces against you and die by fire. And in the evening, they expect you to attend house fellowship.

^{I dont go to church anymore} _{except for christmas day just to hear the choir sing some hynms.}

I'd rather be sleeping on sunday morning.

LOVE?? My ex-girlfriend broke up with me simply because she said I havr never told her that I loved her.

I do not believe in that stuff. The damn thing does not even have a meaning. So I say it is not safe to tell nobody that you love them.

The all time king of step over was "Denilson". That guy was amazing. the rest of these guys are just learning. And C.ronaldo isnt the best at the moment.

Ndipe:
For the abortion advocates, I should ask, "Would you have been happy if you were aborted"? Or do you honestly think those babies in the womb do not feel any pain?

Hellz yes. I would have been better off. Babies dont feel pain. Their brains aren't even developed. If you cant handle the responsibility, ******* it.

Why are you guys sounding like this?? "If you cant adapt", Adapt to what?? Adapt to not having HIV/AIDS either by sexual intercourse or otherwise?? Abi adapt to not gettin raped and impregnated or immaculate conception ?? or Adapt to not having a cellphone to use in an emergency?? Abeg adapt to what?? If u see bad thing make you shout am O!!

Many people go to these schools as a last resort, or there parents are church members and want their kids to attend the pastors church, or their parents are christians and want their kids in a christian school. If your papa send you go there, most people no go fit shout.

Judgement will not only begin in the house of GOD, but in the schools of GOD too.

Just to clarify one thing;
1. Married people(women) who have registered their mariage with the school can do it and be pregnant. That one is allowed _{according to the original/first post.}


Question; Why are people saying/insinuating the Oyedepo is not aware of this Law/rule. The bloody school is his own. He knows. Infact he made the damn law.

Why will parents actually send their kids to such mediocre schools?? I mean the laws/rules are downright ridiculous. No cellphones, No relationships, Lights out, No partying, No socialization, You must attend church on Sundays, Dress codes _{(this I could understand)}, e.t.c. And to top it up, they now discriminate against pregnant chicks, and PLWHA (people living with HIV AIDS).

If parents feel their kids are not mentally developed enough to live independently in school then they should keep them at home. This sounds more like bootcamp than a university. Most people are trying to compare CU with Oral Roberts University, but they differ greatly. ORU is being run by smart intelligent educationists, CU is obviously being run by a "nigerian pastor".

A decent university is not determined by the amount of HIV-ive students you have or the amount of Virgins you graduate. It seems they are more concerned with "morals" than the actual purpose a university is created for. University life is supposed to prepare you for both the educational side of life _{(hence the lectures and books)}, the political side (Student unions, student associations, e.t.c), the emotional part (hence the freedom of interaction and dating and pregnancy i guess ), e.t.c.

That school/management needs to review its priorities cos its obvious that they are either confused or outrightly stupid.

Escagot is absolute crap. I tried it once in a restaurant here in paris and I almost puked.

The best (in terms of size that is) snail I've eaten was in Togo. Them snails were the size of a little cat. I ate till I couldnt bite anymore.
If you wanna kill me, get a plate of snails a place it before me.

nah. I havent. but i'm a sucka for snails.

I dont really feel like eating much. All I want is


garden egg with ose orji or alligator pepper - aperitif
Isi ewu with fresh pammy - starter
Freshly made fufu with Ogbono Soup (with cow tail, snails, round-about (intestine), kpomo, shaki and cow leg) - main course
Fresh fish peppersoup - dessert

Just this and I'm fine. If you throw in some bole (roast plantain and fish _{port-harcourt style}) I wouldnt mind

source please. I dont believe that any nigerian will mumu that kind of mumu.

I've done quite a few unusual things but I dont know if it is for love or for sex.

1. I've sent a babe 1500naira recharge card before.
2. I've driven a girl around for about 5 hours shopping and visiting her friends.
3. I've actually opened the door for a babe to come out of the car before. _{damn, still cant believe the things i do for sex}
4. Paid for a girls hair and manicure/pedicure
5. I have cooked for a girl before. And I'm not talking bout just boiling indomie, the whole shebang.