₦airaland Forum

TheNoble007:
One thing I am learning desperately, is to say sorry when soemone feels uneasy or wronged via my written words or actions. I hereby make this submission to you. I am sorry. Do not refrain yourself from posting ideas on this thread.

Shalom.

Bro, we did not have an argument or fight; you did not offend me at all. It was just a slight misunderstanding, and I later realized what I missed. So there's no need to be sorry.
The bold sentence above is something a man that is cultivating and preparing himself for future leadership would do. It's called humility and reverence. And only great people exude it! I am also learning it, so you're doing the right thing. As long as I have free time, I'll not stop coming and contributing on this thread.
God bless you!

Are you promoting sex with women above masturbation? That there's no greater affliction that ensues when sleeping with random women? I am just asking. What if the guy you quoted was not inclined to mate with a woman she's not in a relationship with, and the sexual urge was overwhelming strong that he needed to respond?

I think you need to read about the many research that has been conducted about the benefits and dangers of masturbation, and not completely put sex with women as a better option above masturbation. Also, look at it objectively, because from what's written below, it appears to be a one-sided view. According to some researches, some men indulge in masturbation to sustain abstinence. Of course, this has its danger (clearly when it becomes uncontrollable and daily or weekly resort to fix sexual urge). But promoting sex with women above it is ridiculous. Not every man wants to be sleeping around; not every man is ready for a relationship, yet the human nature calls. What is the best answer, then?

We have to condemn and discourage young men from pornography, yes. We have to condemn and discourage young men to avoid masturbation, and exercise stronger self-control and invest the energy used to masturbate to better their lives so they become ideal for an ideal life partner. We have to condemn womanizing and tell young men that it is a sign of weakness and not of strength, yes--because real men don't sleep around like dogs. But it is not possible for a man who would not sleep around or patronize prostitutes to completely avoid masturbation. In the event that patronizing a prostitute or going after random girls for sex has more danger and affliction of the soul than masturbation, then the latter is normal to a lesser affliction. Between two evils, people choose the lesser evil. It becomes a healthy answer to nature's inevitable call. I just don't think you've given the best advice to the young man on this issue.

pansophist:
Victimising yourself won't make you a better person or attractive. The question you should be asking yourself is, why are girls having sex with other men and not me? Why are some men with varieties of women, while I'm stuck with a screen on one hand, and vaseline on the other ? Why I'm I not man enough to make girls attracted to me?

Why are no women checking me out? Justifying masturbation is like a poor person justifying poverty. Of course lots of people are poor, should that makes you not ambitious and aspire to greater heights ? If dwarfs like Aki and Paw Paw could score tall attractive wives, I wonder why normal men will settle with wanking their semen away.

Imagine the money you spent on data to stream porn, spent on soap, water and time, your most valuable irretrievably asset, for few mins of dopamine boost. Its shameful. Your ancestors didnt masturbate to bring you here, why do that to yourself?

Telling that porn and masturbation is bad is not the same thing as pointing a gun at you telling you to stop it. Of course keep masturbating, but it is bad. That is my point.

havilla:
are you sure you arent getting obsessive or idolising this lady? Be careful of any man or woman who tells you you wont meet anyone like them. Charm is deceptive, even the bible says so. Talking from experience.

It is not an obsession. Human beings are made to love each other, and when we think we have found someone to love, it is normal to be wrapped by their thought. I'd love to tell you more about what happened. I am actually over it, but it is a very deep experience for me.

Lols. If you know the man behind this username, you'd not be saying this rubbish. All my life, I have never been in the crowd, but I have my preferences about certain things. Sorry, but all the stuff you said below isn't for me.

Anyiamaka:
The fact that you haven taken it upon yourself to ask that on his behalf could mean that even if you are not examined, you should also be asked "are you okay?"
At all times, never wilfully cry more than the bereaved; unless it's your job and you are paid to do so.
Your are clearly a victim of "social construct". You have tamed your mind to conform with social construct. Your aim is never to do the right things but to always do what people think is right. The danger therein is that you aspire to impress people not really to be right. This often births a tendency of making a man a slave of public opinion and the public is not always right.
For goodness sake, the aim of the young man is to take his relationship with the girl to the next level- engagement that ends in holy matrimony. That's what he has done. Engaged is often personal and people are at liberty to have their engagements anywhere unlike sex that has to be purely private. In the same vein, all that is required is his decision to have the engagement and the lad's consent to it. This is why originally, marriages can take place in the train, in the mountains, in the church, in the beach and anywhere a man and a woman has an agreement to become man and wife provided there is an "officiating priest" and at least a witness. Place is never an issue! Don't let social construct becloud your sense of reason. The dangers of social construct is that quite often it leaves substance to pursue shadows and you get to hear people say- that wed was top notch, will always be the talk of the town, the reception hall was oversized, the cake is great, her wedding gown was imported etc and that's how we lost so much values. We now have very expensive weddings that end in failed marriages soon after.
A man can propose to a woman anywhere he feels ok with not exclusively in a cinema, an eatery, a boat, a party etc as social construct makes you feel.

Yet, I'd say it again in the same friendly tone the last comment was crafted. You said it's amazing how I made a conclusion about one's life in a snap. That's why I said you shouldn't take any of it personally because the subject was never about life or making a conclusion about you or anybody. If you have been reading my comments on this thread you'd have noticed I am very careful in the way I address people and terms I use in my comments. I was actually surprised you used that term. But it's okay.

Nobody has talked like the all-knowing or authority here; everything everyone on this thread has shared is opinions, views, and from personal experiences. That is how every comment should be taken if we are fair in the way we read people we don't agree with. Opinions! Nobody has monopoly on information, and I never said I do. Your saying I talk like an authority who knows all things is a reflection of your view of my comments, and never because I said so. And that too is your opinion. Everyone has opinions about things, and it is why it is called a public forum. A simple thing and una start to drag am and using terms out of context. Given your analysis below, we are saying the same thing. You are right and nobody is disputing it.

TheNoble007:
No offense taken. I can't take things personal when I do not care about the opinion of people who know me, let alone a faceless forum like this!. I hardly quote people, albeit you speak like an authority who knows all things pertaining the aforementioned. What did not work for a handful of people out there, works for many...

Permit me to let you know this. There are many factors that belie the approval of F1 visas regardless of the residency of the applicant, whether in the home country or not. Factors like genuineness, proof of funds, and so on can lead to the denial of visas and not just residency as you may say.

In addition, some countries do not have strong ties with the United States, hence betrays the good intention of the applicant. So this is just for a few. Yet, can someone in these countries with a valid residency get an F1 visa? Yes. Provided he/she meets up the other requirements.

Again, temporary residency varies by countries. Some are stronger than the other. I expect you to know this. Some temporary residency puts the applicant on the same level with the citizens of that country in terms of visa applications. A student with a long stay schegen visa can work part time in the country of that permit, travel to 26 countries in Europe without ado or fuss, without query or authorisation from school as in the case of F1 here. Is this possible in China for example, NO. My friend got his F1 visa approved without stress, even with a mug of coffee given to him in the US Embassy in Berlin as many others too. This is the same 2019 you claim. This may not be possible in Ghana or Togo.

I am done on this topic....

Anyiamaka:
Are you ok? In what kind of environment was he supposed to do that?
It is unafrican to knell down and ask a girl "will you marry me?". Europeans do that. In Africa, a man tells the woman, I want to marry you, I want to see your parents. Go and tell them that I am coming to ask for your hand in marriage! That's how we do it

Na, no, don't say this rubbish again. You are the one the guy should ask if you're okay. And I am asking for him now: Are you okay?
The environment is just out of it. Like how on earth did he even become so stupid to propose to a life partner on a road with traffic left and right? What happened to a nice restaurant? Beachside? or somewhere lovely and peaceful and less public? He truly deserves to be turned down. If he doesn't know the right place to propose to a woman, how would he know the right thing to do when they are married?
The girl made the right decision. If I were a woman, I would outrightly turn him down.
Truly, he is a simp.

Legit215:
Yeah I did, till the online program problem came up if not my flight was supposed to be today.
How are things over there?

I am sorry to hear that. So what is the new plan?
I believe with time, everything will be alright.

Did he need to date lots of women to have experience or understand what's good for him? I am just wondering! Because going for the right woman, especially as a man, is not about past experiences with women, but by what the man wants in life and how he wants to live his life. Is this not why even men who have been with several women are unable to stop themselves from going after more women even though they are married? Are you aware that womanizing also damages men as much as whoring damage women? Would a man needs to experiment many women to really become a man and be in charge of his relationship when he settle down with a partner. I think we both know the answer! I think you're right that this OP settled for the wrong woman (probably veiled by the false hope that she'd find a good wife in the woman in question).
However, I commend your pattern of thinking and views on the issues of women. I don't know if I am older or younger, but whatever the case, I'm learning a lot from you in a way that exposes me to alternative way of seeing things. Thank you!

pansophist:
Women only cheat on simps, which obviously you are. She is with you due to lack of options. You are a ceremonial fiance with a chance of being the provider husband, while she continues her adventure in riding deeks infinitely. She doesn't love, care or deeply wants be with you. When the choice becomes unavailable, the available becomes the choice. At 37, I have to teach you these, I weep.

At 37 years, did you grew up under a rock? If you still didnt understand women at your age, then I genuinely feel sorry for you. She knows she can get away with her deek riding lifestyle, hence she keeps cheating while with you. At worse, she would give you some brain shattering sex and cry a bit, act moody a bit, rob your bald skull and you'll immediately start begging that honey it is fine, I've forgiven you, just promise me you wont cheat on me again .

You probably grew up without dating lots of women, hence, you're over valuing a 35 years old pre-menopausal woman, when you can go for a girl younger that haven't loose her youthfulness. At 37 years, you're at your peak sexual market value, why not compliment and respect your hustle by looking for a young woman that will spend her best years with you? Making her less likely to cheat because she has been with fewer guys and still retain her ability to bond with you?

The fact you're still even contemplating of marrying her, and begging the mod to advertise your stupidity by pushing this to the front page only goes to show how pathetically unmanly you are, and a weak ass male. I'm not surprise, if I'm a woman, I'll probably cheat as well, I want a real man, not a weakling. I can even bet that you'll still go back and beg her, and continue because you have scarcity mindset.

Oya , go and beg her, forgive her, and blame it on the devil on her behalf. And dont let her deny you her rewarding sex, because you're a wonderful and understanding husband to be. Mumu

LagosismyHome:
Truly you don't work in the embassy to be able to draw any conclusion ......

but if you feel your hearsay of a small network compare to the thousands of people who troop daily to the embassy OUTSIDE AND INSIDE NIGERIA is a true representation then go for it .

However you choose to see things, you're right and I am okay with that. So no need spending more time on this!

LagosismyHome:
Nobody have information to the US Embassy data so not sure how you or I or anyone can say they were refused more.

You might know some few (within your network) who were refused but until you have that inside information you cant tell how many was given versus how many were refused .

Isnt that speculation with no data/evidence

When the percentage of red is higher than green, it is enough to draw a conclusion from it. Remember I said from mid 2018 to 2019.
Whether you see it as speculation or assumption is not what I care about; what I know is it became increasingly difficult getting the visa outside Nigeria within the period mentioned above. But it is not an indicator that those who want to apply for F1 outside Nigeria should not attempt to. They should apply for the visa and see how it goes.

TheNoble007:
At the bolded, be sincere. How would you feel if someone writes that to you? It is amazing how you can conclude one's life in a snap. Take care!

Oh no, it wasn't a conclusion at all, and don't take any of these out of context; we were talking about getting a visa, and I would never make conclusion about your life because I don't know you. By saying you should not say what you don't know or haven't experienced, I was talking in the context of our discussion--applying for f1 visa outside Nigeria. Linking that with your life equal taking things personal. We were discussing about visa!

Legit215:
Yes am still in Nigeria, all this is just aching from applying to school to covid 19 to finding how to fly out of Nigeria to finding out online student can come in...smh

Dang! I thought you have left. What is happening? Why didn't you explore the option of flying from Togo or Ghana?

LagosismyHome:
If you have a valid staying / legal visa in another country , you can apply and don't need to come back to Nigeria. It a bit odd to hear a VO will tell someone with a valid staying legal visa to go back to Nigeria........ it is perfectly fine so I think what TheNoble007 means is they say go and apply from Nigeria only if its expired visa or visiting visa
Whether they give you the visa is another story. Non US Citizens all over the world get rejected

I understand him perfectly. In fact, the Nigerians who got refused in Ukraine, Russia, Turkey, Belarus, Dubai had valid stay. I remember someone in Dubai on this thread last year. It is not about valid stay or visa; it is about applying from your home country, where the embassy believe you have home ties.
For the cases mentioned above, the students were outrightly told to go to Nigeria to apply (despite having a stay in those countries), then they refuse them. However, there were cases of students who got approved. But they refused more, especially from mid 2018...

Guruindahouse:
I have been reading your comments for soemtime, I must say you are doing a great job as well sir.

Kindly help me to shed more light to these questions... How long can it take generally to get a green card in case I finish my PHD in USA? And do you know how difficult it is to get the card as a Nigerian? BTW, I am planning to move to US with my family. i will apreciate your reply sir.

If you dont mind, I can send you a PM as well because of my confidential details.

Thank you sir!

DM will be better, and I will be able to answer your questions to the best of my understanding.

TheNoble007:
As far as they have a valid residence permit, they are free to apply without coming back to Nigeria. Embassies can only refuse in the case of expired residency or visit visas...

Don't say what you don't know, or yet to experience. Those who were refused had everything. Your saying embassies can only refuse in the case of expired residency or visit visas shows you don't know how it works, and what has been happening. Read thread 14 to see people's personal experiences on the issue.

Anybodie:
I know of a Nigerian that applied from Germany less than a month ago and was granted, he's now in the US

Yes, it is possible. Remember I said "most."
I know students who were refused in the same Germany, Turkey, Russia and Dubai from this thread in 2018 and 2019.
The pandemic is really a good opportunity to get an F1 outside Nigeria. I hope Nigerian nationals with admission outside Nigeria take advantage of this opportunity.

kastgeraldino:
The lucky ones

It is not as easy as you think

PucciGuru:
Guys please I am doing my interview outside Nigeria and their embassy just opened meanwhile my school resumption of classes is 24th August, should I still book for an interview for next week because embassy has promised to give priority next week, do you think I should or defer?

I really hope they give you the visa, except you're in a EU country (even EU self no sure). Most Nigerians that applied for their F1s outside Nigeria, particularly from mid 2018 till early 2020 before the pandemic, got refused and were advised to go to Nigeria to apply. You can try and see how it goes. However, you can use the pandemic as a strong defense as to why you did not travel to Nigeria to apply for the visa, and especially because embassy in Nigeria is closed and your program is starting soon. I hope it turns out well. I'd love to hear about the interview. Do mention me and update.
Good luck.

Legit215:
Thanks for all your responses all this is the school fault they weren't even prepared to have international students this fall that am sure of it was just this week my advisor told me all in person classes has been filled up that she's sorry. Then my DSO later replied my message I sent last week saying she has confirmed from the sevp rep for the school and I was advised not to travel at all if my courses were online.

Wait, are you still in Nigeria?

Zzor:
monk shut up

MrALIVE:
Only in a confused and backward thinking country like Nigeria will people attack a pastor who is in active politics....but they will be praising devil incarnates and blood sucking demons that occupy various leadership positions in Nigeria.

Shame on you all.
I repeat Shame On you.
Tueh!!!!!!!!!

You are certainly at a baby's level in Nigerian politics. See, there's no difference in Nigeria's elite pastors and Nigerian politicians.
A true Christian in politics would be outstanding in all ramifications; in fact, it would be abomination to dine and sit with the set of politicians in Nigeria at the moment. Politics and religion in Nigeria are structured to manipulate. Is that not one of the reasons top Nigerians pastors are not reprimanding corrupt and manipulative politicians--despite that a pastor has a social obligation to be God's mouthpiece to those in power?
Before you write like this again on a social media, sit back and try to look at the climate you live in, and see the friendliness between those who claimed are called by God and those in position of authority; they ain't different.
Happy Sunday to you!

chukwuibuipob:
when the RIGHTEOUS are in AUTHORITY,the people rejoice Proverbs 29:2

So, because he preached at a church he's now righteous?
How many times have politicians beat the drum of religion to capture and manipulate the heart of Nigerians?
You know it.

NwanyiOkpa:
so sorry, i can't access my email anymore

No problem. Thank you

NwanyiOkpa:
someone to do what?

To fill study permit application. You no dey reply your messages in the email? I have sent like two requests, but no response. Anyway, that's what I was trying to get in touch for.

NwanyiOkpa:
i don't think that you should bother yourself about how people spend their own money and time.

Hey miss, how are you doing? ...
Edited: I have found someone.

RemarkableMind:
Let me tell how I knew fairheart...

Hey bro, this is too much. I understand what loyalty is, but I think you're sharing too much information about me. There's no need for this!
You need to understand that no matter what you do, even if you're spotless, some people would just never like approve you and see you for who you're; let alone being fallible human being. But do you care? You don't stop being yourself!
Thank you.

Phenomenalopeye:
2&3 is covered by the grace of God!
I promise I'll never do that!

As for 1, pls what's the deficit so I can start working on it now!
Thanks for your support may God bless you!

Try to listen, okay?
I said I will ask around...meaning I would be talking to some people from here. Their response determines what you get.
Saying by grace of God is not realistic to me...the same grace of God has been available for you all these time, but you haven't raised anything. Even God wants us to make conscious choice, plans, efforts and be realistic while we do that.

If you can't afford 50K for SAT, how do you plan to get 35K for passport? People in the US don't dash out money just like that o; some of them are even wondering how your situation is my business. I think that is why some people here are suspicious that I your documents may not be safe.

Also, let me tell you. There are people who can single-handedly pay for your SAT on this thread. But it seems they haven't been impressed by your story, which is why they had advised that you study in Nigeria. And I see things in that direction too. My fear is getting people to pay for your SAT, only for for you not to be able to raise other major fees.

You still haven't told us how you plan to cover major fees like SEVIS, VISA? You need to be realistic.

LagosismyHome:
Why are we Nigerians so quick to abuse... let learn to do less of that even if things don't go our way or if it not what we want to hear.

Las las we all be ok .... you too will be ok.

RemarkableMind was one of the guys had in mind and I talked to. But I had make a list of about 5 students from here, and I was planning to make them each help with $20 each. That would amount to $100, towards the SAT. That is the man he wanted to curse
I am starting to feel something is not right. I think it is better everyone relax. We will be Okay!

Phenomenalopeye:
Alright thanks

@RemarkableMind I'm sorry!
ain't cool, you should suggest a solution not make things worse.

I will ask around. I will get the SAT registered for you on these conditions:
1, I will not pay the entire fee for the SAT. You find other people here to add to it.
2, you figure out how to get your passport. It cost 35K
3, you must have selected schools you want the SAT score sent.

Note: Don't ever make a threat in the circle you are looking for favour.
Don't do it again.

Phenomenalopeye:
no don't get me wrong, why would he suggest that you shouldn't render assistance simply because someone who doesn't know what's going on said something kinda negative.

I do believe in God!

Whether you get help or not, your life goes on.
Take it easy young man!