₦airaland Forum

GloriousGbola:
Hmm.

All things considered, sometimes what you do is you hunker down and survive the boss. I lived through three or four horrible bosses. In the end they will always overdo and you will see them exited. This only applies to structured working environment though. If you are in a one man business, better run.

Hehehe. You remind me of my father. He's never perturbed by anyone. You know that last man standing in action movies? That's him.

I think relatively horrible bosses can be tolerated to some degree. But what about those who affect your ability to function effectively?

I assume you've watched the movie Horrible Bosses?

irunoko:
lmaooo for them to attach a juicy salary to the job it means they knew she was a psychopath and only few people can tolerate her excesses

Actually she joined the organisation as a replacement. I had interacted with her before in other circles but I never picked up on her sadistic tendencies. Maybe I wasn't so keen either.

So, what's your plan after the resignation?

irunoko:
my sister I'm so happy that you womaned up to put an end to such level of disrespect and bs.that level of narcissism you described is extreme and almost bordering on sociopathic tendencies.

She was a case study that one.
One colleague described her as demon-possessed. I didn't rule out that possibility.

irunoko:
At some point you have to choose peace and protect your sanity from toxic people.no amount of salary can replace peace of mind abeg.

This is the exact thing I told my papa. They paid really well and offered excellent benefits but at what price? Constant heart palpitations?

irunoko:
I hope she is able to see someone who will love her.

That shouldn't be a problem.

Jezebel found Ahab, Delilah found Samson and Angelina Jolie found Brad Pitt. She will definitely be somebody's pick. The odds are in her favour. A good 80% of men will pick her damaged self to try and fix her.

nwakibe:
Na you wey write resignation later fin trouble. All the Narcists I've worked with, I didn't write any resignation later. They will see me today and will not see me again. After all, when they want to sack you they will not write to you.

This is a coward's way of resigning. Very tactless. You are the type of people who end relationships and engagements by ghosting your lover.

Try by all means not to burn bridges no matter how narcissistic your boss is. You may be required at one point to reach out to your former workplace for something as minor as a certificate of service which could be required for something as major as processing of a work permit/visa. A vindictive ex-boss can choose to frustrate the process, especially if they come to know that they hold the cards to a major life-changing opportunity for you.

You don't have to be friends with your narcissistic bosses, but be cordial, at best.

SeaTrade:
Nigerian ladies are the ones obsessed with it,I wonder why.

Are Nigerian ladies the ones who make comments such as, "Go and marry" whenever they see a picture of Genevieve Nnaji?

Are they the ones shouting Shiloh and menopause up and down?

orohbiro:
I think he is seeing another Lady....

You already know that he's seeing another girl. Now what? What more do you want to hear?

These teenagers sef!

Viewer's discretion?

Libron:
Thanks der, so sorry i just saw this

No problem. You're welcome.
Hey friend, have you taken any steps so far? I think the article below can help you start from somewhere.

https://www.futurelearn.com/info/blog/the-art-of-public-speaking

fineberry:
its just like you're describing me. But I still feel an an extrovert, because I can really be playful if I want to and can be stern and harsh if I want to. I make friends easy and I don't care whether you care about me or not.

Many attributes here n there jare

You seem balanced.

And that aspect about not caring whether people like you or not, it's called self-actualization. Kudos! You're one of the few self-assured people out there!

@ irunoko,

Your boss just can't believe that someone can walk out on him. Narcissists are a self-deluded set of people who believe people need them, but not vice versa. They tend to have the same tendencies in relationships.

I had one narcissistic boss like that who made it difficult for staff members to even breath. She was deployed to our country office and in her bid to show staff members that there was a new sheriff in town, she went on a bullying spree. Yelling was her modus communicandi. She was extremely unpleasant to everyone and got easily triggered by the slightest of things. She tormented everyone, from the driver, to the cleaner, to the Admin Assistant, and to the staff who worked directly under her supervision (where I belonged).

I knew she'd lost it when she not only instructed the Admin Assistant to stand while talking to her, she demanded that her posture should be upright while at it. You know the famous military posture? The famous "chin up, chest out, shoulders back, stomach in"? That's how much of a nutcase she was. Those who tried arse-licking her got exhausted eventually. She was sent from hell to steal, kill and destroy people's peace of mind.

Miss M.O. (her initials) would also resort to passive aggression whenever she couldn't bully you into doing military posture. For instance, she would nominate your name for a training or field activity that would involve taking a trip to countries where some of our partners were based, and 5 days later she'd "change her mind" and nominate some other staff member. She'd do this just to make you prepare for it, envision yourself in Mauritius or the UAE, envision what gifts you'll return with from the trip for your spouse, your children, your parents, siblings, friends, etc, then poof! She'd dash your blueprint. There was a way she'd fold her mouth and lips while giving you unpleasant news. Something akin to an exaggerated duck pout. She'd utilise that pout at such moments. Very sadistic somebody.

To cut the long story short, I recall having a that's it moment and later that day I informed her that I'd be sending my official notice to HR. When the devil's mistress received my official resignation letter, she went mute. I had been such an enthusiastic performer, she felt I needed my job more than the organisation needed me. Of course she demanded to know why I was resigning and I told her that I was moving on to do private business. I stated that I had given my best to people and I felt it's time to explore what I can do for myself.

Within that last month I took up a 2-week field project to get away from the lunatic. I turned down the idea of a farewell party (I generally hate parties) but we just had a last official meeting of some sort where I thanked everyone for their support and wished them well in their endeavours.

The only downside to my resignation was that my papa was disappointed. The way he's held my hand through this journey of life, I usually feel somehow about the prospects of disappointing him. He's a very practical and resilient person, and he never quite understood why anyone would walk out of a very stable source of income for the simple reason that the boss has got satanic tendencies. (Never mind, he himself takes nobody's crap... ) He came around though and supports what I'm currently doing.

Nobody should ever apologise for pursuing their peace of mind.

iezeiyida:
Anyway, if her kpeku tight the innocent boy enjoy am o

Stupid comment.

Klass99:
At the text in bold, you made me smile
I'm glad you think so and the feeling is mutual where you are concerned.
A thread authored by you will be a pleasure to read, for your exposed mind and great articulation of thoughts.
I will gladly participate on it too, from my knowledge of the topic or any experience with it.

Thank you.

Muchas gracias.

Klass99:
Ibrahim is not muslim o, not sure but I think I saw that somewhere some years ago.

Oh! My bad. I've never bothered to investigate, so I presumed he was Muslim.

The "Ibrahims" and "Suleimans" that I've met are usually Muslims (at least where I come from).

I like that she could open her mind and heart to marry a Muslim man.

She yoked with whoever she wanted. Nice.

CumOnHer:
Although, you didn't say much on the thread....

I'm fond of writing epistles but I was way too exhausted to get into that thesis mode to be honest.

CumOnHer:
You seem to me like a strongly opinionated individual.

I get that a lot, but still very reserved in real life.

CumOnHer:
If you would, l'd be genuinely interested in reading your thread on any subject. Same demand goes for klass99.....

I've honestly thought about starting a topic to discuss cult activities, human sacrifice and its relation to wealth acquisition but I thought against it. I have a series of questions but I'm doubtful of whether I'll obtain the answers I want. I imagine the ritualists may not wish to expose themselves and their vices.

And also, Nigerians tend to make light of serious matters and that thread will probably attract the usual clowns, not forgetting the endless Yoruba vs Igbo e-fights.

Perhaps Klass99 will oblige you. I also like reading her posts. She is smart, composed and usually very objective. She doesn't get easily agitated or get carried away like Farfalla.

CumOnHer:
That's an idiomatic expression. Are you not supposed to pay me for the Education.

I have heard you mister.

CumOnHer:
You're smart but I hope your man is able to beat you at your own game.

Games are for children.

CumOnHer:
You couldn't decipher that I turned your logic against you. What you wrote up there was way off the intention, you trivialized the issue by talking about how guys here slut shame women.

I don't need to decipher anything from someone who's learnt the art of cherry picking and feigning ignorance. Picking one sentence in a post and make an argument out of it while ignoring the real points.

Sincere gender indeed.

CumOnHer:
You are using emotional blackmail as a way of deflecting. Why would you blame the men for whatever goes wrong with women

If all you grasped from that simple post was that I was blaming men for the woes of women, then it's obvious we cannot even have a discussion.

CumOnHer:
Why did you frown at the fact that men are the sincere gender?. Tell me why you think men are insincere.

I'm not really in the mood for writing a thesis paper.

His friends urged him to make money so that he’d be able to get another girlfriend.

CumOnHer:
It's self explanatory, women are cunning, slick, devious, slippery, deceptive which is naturally the make up of a gender considered as the friendlier, softer and nicer gender.

Forget about women. Tell me more about the sincerity of men.

Klass99:
Lol but he just said na!

Thing is, does he even believe what he said?

These same men keep talking about chop and clean mouth all over Nairaland, calling females ashawo up and down, and talking about toto like their lives depend on it. Are these the same men someone is claiming come with sincerity?

It's a wonder how he typed that with a straight face.

CumOnHer:
Men comes with sincerity, while women come with deception.

You don't say.

Hayee:
As far as I'm concerned virtuous woman, wife or girl doesn't pay

Nigerian men are actually in desperate need of blood sucking and heartless gold diggers A.K.A Jezebels
PEACE

Hehehehehe.

You know the "logical" gender too well.

When a man tells you that he doesn't like gold diggers, he's telling you in essence that he likes them but cannot afford one.

Lordcassy:
War is the human reality, scarcity in all echelon of reality is the flame the fans the fire of wars...

As men we understand this reality as a woman I understand you can't ....your privilege to not have to defend anything but complain and be passive..

There will always be someone who wants what you have, even in the tiniest scale of society, don't women fight every day and bath their fellow woman with acid over relationship issues....how is that different from war...

Remember...Scarcity is reality....it is a human thing

Men did not invent war, but was evolve because there is a need for it...

Deep down every gene wants to survive, if you are not aggressive fine, but if someone who wants to collect what little you have, you only have two choice....fight or die.....there is no talking out of it...

War is a human thing and that scarcity is reality...
Women have always been property to be won by the strongest..because you are educated and have job, do not cancel it...you are just an educated working property...if war comes you will be picked by the strongest men...that is nothing to pray about..

Thankfully there is abundance, that is why there is relative peace around the world...

Exception does not make the rule.....

Hope you understand, again I will understand if you can't.

You've said nothing really. Rubbish post.

osuofia2:

I FEEL LIKE CRYING. THE WORLD NEED ISLAMIC RULE. WE CANT FOLD OUR HANDS AND SEE THIS KIND OF RUBBISH HAPPEN

The world DOES NOT need Islamic rule.

BRATISLAVA:
Just be happy with my comment and move on with your own life.

Protection of marriages seems to be the work of some women. Does that mean that all some Nigerian men do is destroy their marriages and wait for their wives to put them back together again?

Mark this space, and you will see how many women will not waste time protecting their cheating husbands. Adele is one...I could name several others.

Many Africans and African Americans like the idea of struggle love. Love and relationships have to be a painful affair for them.

Nothing wrong with anyone wishing to work on their marriage. Me sef I encourage forgiveness. However, when some man decides that he'll deliberately create a toxic environment for his wife, it's illogical to advise this woman to "protect" her home. These men should brace themselves for what's coming.

A toxic, unrepentant spouse is never worth it.

BRATISLAVA:
What did you just type? If little kids are tempting you too much, then it's better you change your profession.

God can only help you so far when you are already thinking like this. You need to be watched.

Imagine the nerve!

Talking about being tempted by "cute" 10-year old kids!

That is some child's teacher. God help our children.

Lordcassy:
Like the Muslim holy book said .

WOMEN, LEFT TO THEIR OWN DEVICES WILL SELF DESTRUCT...

Yes. They're the ones starting wars all over the world. It is women who are responsible for creating civil unrest in Syria, Libya and Afghanistan. As if that's not enough, these same women are now turning Eastern Europe into a battleground and are responsible for the Russian invasion of Ukraine.

Very destructive gender.

My paranoid self agrees with him.

livinbygrace:
Read and understand the question op is asking.No person with good heart will exhibit such heartless characteryou just listed above.

You should also read and understand that I wasn't responding to the topic in general, but to a particular poster who raised certain issues I felt differently about.