₦airaland Forum

BRATISLAVA:
Klass de Klassik

I think she's a very young woman and not very equipped to handle what's happened, hence her anger. We don't really know how she came to be in this position and what the man told her before he ran off. But it is best she doesn't have any kids with another irresponsible man.

I know why I said so. The responsible are far and few between nowadays, so she will have to take time before she does that again till when she can find a man who isn't a deadbeat.

Since we don't know the bolded, why are you keep acting as though the man is highly irresponsible?

Franciscabless:
Stfu Irresponsible fool, fatherhood is not also about pouring sperm inside vagina and abandoning the child for the mother to cater for alone. it is about taking 99% responsibility

Worst is you aren't even catering for the children since your mom is the one taking care of them. That said, the father doesn't need take care of 99% responsibility because the child is birthed by both of you. You both should take responsibility.

Dem go soon knack your type another belle. Dey run mouth anyhow meanwhile, sense you no get.

Franciscabless:
Shame on you idiot i can see that you are jalous because i am blessed with 3 daughters and you have none. You want me to give them up so i can be barren like you guess what we can never be the same because i know the joy of motherhood something u will never experience in your entire life plus a real mother that am I can never give my baby away not matter how much the suffering. As long as my mum is alive I will not give up any of my children for adoption , am not the cause of to your problem go and ask your ancestors to tell you the reason why you haven't been able to conceive. Barren bitter woman like you irritate my soul to no end too because you can never be happy for people like us who are blessed with children. Stop taking paracetamol on my headaches

Motherhood isn't about just birthing children it involves catering for them. Stop insulting those who might not have had any for reasons best known to them.

BRATISLAVA:
He should take care of them. You aren't entitled for wanting him to take up his responsibility. After all, you didn't make the child by yourself.

But in the event that he doesn't want to be a man, you will just have to pick up his slack. Don't put your hopes on a man that wants to live without you, especially if you've tried talking to him about it.

Just follow your mom and help her out, grow your business together. When you can, improve your skills. It will be okay. Use the welfare you mentioned to bring him to order when you can and how you can. Don't let him get off easy then come back after 20 years to tell your children lies about why he left you. Document it. If it doesn't work out, just focus on your family.

Stop encouraging what is not. They should raise the kids together including financially. What is she bringing to the table as regards upkeep for the children?

Klass99:
Lmao, I can see how you got yourself into this mess.

If I were you, I will look for a childless couple willing to adopt and put up this last child for adoption. I'll ask them to please handle the hospital bills as part of the process, while I negotiate a substantial adoption fee to help me start over in life.

It will be a win-win situation for all parties;

1. Your child will be with responsible individuals capable of caring for him or her and they won't have to suffer from you and your baby daddy's folly.

2. A childless couple will be made happy.

3. You will get a chance to clean up your act and enough money to make a fresh start.

Foolish women like you irritate my soul to no end. Critical thinking is usually far from you people and you make poor life choices over and over.

The OP is on nairaland running her mouth thinking she's smart while her actions suggest otherwise. She is very delusional but like it is said, "she is only ignorant that not all that glitters are gold."

faithfull18:
I never said there was anything bad in a woman earning to take care of herself, infact, I am all out for a woman harnessing her potentials and earning a living without being dependant on anybody.

A woman is an help mate, excusing the irresponsibility of the man who also fathered children he isn't ready to cater for is what I am against.

There are tell tale signs of irresponsible men and I can conclude you are not in the OPs position likely because you are responsible at least to yourself and you are not putting the carts before the horse.

We shouldn't blame the irresponsible men only because the women in most cases either .ade excuses for them or empowered them.

That said, at the brunt of it is the woman because it is always the case of "mother's baby, father's maybe". This is one of the reasons every lady should watch out for herself in a relationship.

Franciscabless:
Go and die jobless irresponsible fool. if you've got an issue with my post , take sniper to end your mystery. Stop taking paracetamol for my headaches

You are the one who is in misery. You are the one crying and seeking public sympathy. Perhaps, living on nairaland is my job and Seun pays. At least, it is worth something. You can also apply since you have hands to type.

Some were asking why the men left you, hasn't your character shown your kind of person?

dominique:
So according to Nairaland men, a woman is the one to give birth, care for the kids, nurture them and also be the one to financially provide for them. E reach to ask what exactly is the usefulness of the average Nigerian man in this 21st century? Why won't a woman opt for an anonymous sperm donor when she knows she's expected to be both the mother and father to her child? Not one man here has berated the op's irresponsible baby daddy for neglecting his children. They said he's not married to her. So until he marries her, his children should starve and live at the mercy of their grandma? Utter nonsense!

As much as the op is wrong for giving birth without getting her life on track, the man is also wrong for refusing to provide for his children. How can you be living your life knowing that you have children with a mother who is unable to provide for them at the moment? Height of irresponsibility!

@op Franciscabless, don't let these deadbeat apologists discourage you from seeking upkeep for your children from their father. They his responsibility as much as they're yours. Just go about it politely, don't do gragra and appreciate whatever he gives. After this baby you lock up PERMANENTLY!

It is good to want to support your gender but please do it reasonably. It is the joint responsibility of parents to take care of their offspring and waiting on welfare is a very lazy mentality.

Do not encourage her to keep been lazy waiting on the mom and husband because life could happen to anyone at any time thus, the need for her to be self sufficient.

As for your question on the average Nigerian man, even in the West, child support is often not sufficient to raise kids this, moms who choose to be lazy depend also on other welfare packages like food stamps and community pantry fir some free groceries that we don't have.

Franciscabless:
Your mum was so dumb that she did not abort you and here you are jobless idle and pathetic you can't wait to contribute to any thread just to get busy. Get a life

Aunty, you need a life. As a mother of 2 and expecting another depending on your mom and baby daddy is a big shame. Your smart mom raised a grown up baby who is lazy in all ramifications. Your laziness is irritating that your mom even had to choose your family planning option.
My advice, once you put to bed, zip up and wear the big girl panties as you need it. Work your ass off to ensure your children do better than this.

Franciscabless:
Even myself I wonder how women date irresponsible men like you , didn't you read your bible where it stated the man is the head of a woman?

Aunty, you are fornication and mentioning the Bible? Carry your double standard go front.
That said, you don't know me nor my story thus, concluding I am irresponsible is fine provided it makes you feel better.
With this mentality of yours, I pray you don't end up an "alabodo" as the Yoruba's will call it as times have changed and every human should be independent to some great extent.

faithfull18:
A man who can't provide for his family is worse than an infidel - Bible talk am, I just helped you out.

That is a wrong quote. People knocking without dowry been paid shouldn't be judged by the Bible. While I do not agree with him not providing for his family, one should also ask why she thinks it is only his responsibility to do so.
Such Bible verses encourage some entitlement mentality.

Franciscabless:
He is the Head of the family it's his responsibility to provide for me and our children

Which law states that. I wonder how men date ladies like you though.

This shouldn't be an issue and they should be able to discuss how much they save while she also does her post in ensuring he's able to save enough.
It is amusing how people think the woman doesn't have a right to know how much the husband earns. Should that be a secret?

Dinner:

Pounded yam with bitter leaf soup.

SeriouslySense:
May not fade that easily, if the brain has been affected.

It requires conscious effort which I believe should be seamlessly achieved.

How do people get angry to the point of fighting someone else? Shouldn't some habits fade away as we grow up?

If you were very good to her when you had and she chose to treat you this way because you do not have, I will suggest you ignore the attitude while you keep working on improving your financial health again. If otherwise, when things pick up, learn to treat her well.

EZENDDIGBO:
I need a help not long talk sir

Her advice is very useful. Go explain to your HR your present predicament. They might be able to give you some advance at no cost and they can deduct it from source. That way, they might even give you up to 120k for 6 months and take 20k monthly.

Echoban:
So how much was Lagos generating before and after Tinubu.ets start from there.

The state was given autonomy to generate interview this, whoever was governor would generate the same.

I'm amused when they say Tinubu generated revenue for Lagos State. The corporations and staff whose taxes was the main source of revenue, where they not in existence before Tinubu became governor?

My nonchalant attitude. I can be very nonchalant about almost everything.

Teeklef:
You must be from Modakeke.

I am not from Modakeke but I know Modakeke a bit for two reasons. I schooled in Ife and my sister's husband is from Modakeke.

I truly don't know what I will do if the person is in his age bracket however, if it is an adult, I might file for assault irrespective of who the person is.

A slap is way too extreme. I can't imagine such.

Why are we more concerned about his education than his health? Nigerians truly deserves the leaders they get.

How do people support someone this sick? It is deceit to think should be won he will care about the country as his health will be most paramount. We don't learn and that is a very big issue for us. We can allow history to repeat itself again. At least taking us down the path from 2015 till now version 2 might not be a bad idea overall.

Mastakija:
Gradually the responsible generation is leaving
Now we are faced with deep irrelevant and irresponsible tenure of this present generation gradually turning into parents
While most of them sex tapes are littered throughout the internet some who are parents are grooming their children to become a social media professional ashewo

You mean the greedy generation that collapsed the country. You people call them responsible yet, they are so corrupt in all ways. Abeg, so throwing the word responsible around carelessly.

APC is a very wicked party. They are wicked towards the populace for foisting Tinubu on us and on Tinubu for leading him on despite his greed.

SKIDDOLEE:
BossG i hail o make I smile for ur side abeg

When you visit or stop by.

Hamzashaf99:
Love how your meals ard always carefully balanced and full of nutrients. The view is also very appealing

Thank you for the compliment.

Dinner:

Beans, dodo, Salmon, and a side of Efo Riro.

No special plans. The only good side is that it is on a Sunday, so I get holiday on Monday thus, a long weekend. This is the only time I envy people whose company goes on end of year holiday.

Do we call this Corporate Social Responsibility or Community Development Service?

That said, how come a field in Urban Day Grammar School, can it be as expensive as N100million? How much is the land and would inflation be the cause of such an expense?

Imagine my oga looking at me like what is wrong with this guy on a Friday morning. This man should honorably step down for a more credible candidate from his party.