₦airaland Forum

adelegan1: Don't do this. Let your husband be

@OP- your HUSBAND has spoken. Don't worry. He won't leave you for oyibo (since that is your major concern). You sha said he doesn't have a visa.

tooth brush, pant, bra, sponge, blade, needle, shaving stick

SAMBARRY, u are a serious case i swear. lmao at d comments. @OP-you can only steal my things once and after that na judgement o. No eye service kankan.

backdoor ko, backwindow ni. Mtschew!!! Have we even finish all the frontdoor styles?
the thought of what i went through when i had a 4th degree tear........Godinheaven......

obowunmi: Good idea. I think I will write a book.

i read this OP since yesterday and till now i still don't know whatever to say about that woman. I PITY THE HUSBAND PITIFULLY
wait till a fully endowed neighbour moves in.

lofty900: this is how we know them.

stop calling me back to this thread.. Have a good weekend

lofty900: I can see that u r gradually falling for mr Lofty.

Get away from me. i am above 5years.....

thorpido: I like a bit of space too.I can't sleep with someone in my arms,so I just stay awake until i can be let off.
Marriage is about giving so what works for me is that I stay a while for my wife to enjoy her cuddling until I eventually have to sleep.
Op,discuss with your hubby and let him understand they he has to yield a bit and both of you reach some kind of compromise.Understand that you won't get the cuddling all the time and he should understand that he can't stay alone in bed all the time.I hope your hubby is someone willing to compromise.

SAMBARRY you see this?

dBard: The mistake I see everyone making everytime, is to think issues like submission, love, respect, etc is 'Give and Take' ..
submission IS a commandment (esp f Christians) n it should b adhered to, if u choose to, Wholly irrespective of whether the recipient is appreciative or deserves it or not.
'Love ur wife as Christ Loves d church', is Unconditional and my inability to do so is a failure on my part and it is something to Strive towards.
It Is a tin of choice.

Should a woman give herself wen upset? sex is Mutual n it Is Wrong for her to do so wen she's actually Not giving herself to him. a woman in that sort of situation can calmly n respectfully decline. .or something.

The story of Smith Wigglesworths wife exemplifies wat d o.p is talking about ..I.m.o

We are all striving to do our best but it is just unfair when all you hear around is as if it only the woman that has to make the marriage work.
e.g,
question - why do some men gain weight after marriage?
most response - because their WIVES overfeed them, or feed them with nonsense. (wives' fault)
question - why do some women gain weight after marriage?
most response - because they seat around doing nothing and just eating all day and are just lazy to keep fit. (wives' fault)

For marriage to work, both parties must play their part and not just leave the whole burden on one of the spouse.

dBard: The mistake I see everyone making everytime, is to think issues like submission, love, respect, etc is 'Give and Take' ..
submission IS a commandment (esp f Christians) n it should b adhered to, if u choose to, Wholly irrespective of whether the recipient is appreciative or deserves it or not.
'Love ur wife as Christ Loves d church', is Unconditional and my inability to do so is a failure on my part and it is something to Strive towards.
It Is a tin of choice.

Should a woman give herself wen upset? sex is Mutual n it Is Wrong for her to do so wen she's actually Not giving herself to him. a woman in that sort of situation can calmly n respectfully decline. .or something.

The story of Smith Wigglesworths wife exemplifies wat d o.p is talking about ..I.m.o

i laff in my hubby's dialect

SAMBARRY: You have time to be going to such meetings. I don't bother wasting hours of my time listening to such. I'll rather be sleeping

bukatyne: I would never waste my weekend for such meetings unless my week was too exciting and I need something to dull it

The speaker was invited on sunday and it was during the main sunday service. So she was the one that more or less preached that day.

MARKone: Wives respect and be submissive to your husbands.

No need to preach to us. our own dey here
https://www.nairaland.com/1869054/wives-reverence-husbands-even-when

The woman thread long pass this one now........

SAMBARRY: go do pony tail or shuku make them see something pull when una dey come

SAMBARRY: God my strength The weather is cold, rain just fall so you should know Jennifer kandry is busy with something

okay o

SAMBARRY: ok before I show you the something, why is the sky black at night

oya see

the woman dey scream ni abi na cum she dey cum. make oga no pull my hair like that o. I no dey for that one. i get soft scalp and my hair no too get body o.

Abeg where is Jennykadry jare?

BoboYekini: Using myself as an example, not married yet but I can definitely see us having separate bedrooms. I like cuddles on my terms and at those odd romantic moments, but not too much, and especially not after a hard day at work when my muscles ache and I just want to lie prone and drift slowly into sleep. Women cuddle unnecessarily too much! Makes the bristles at the back of my neck stand sometimes.

what if you want to cuddle and she tell you she's had a hard day at work and her muscles ache and that she just want to lie prone and drift slowly into sleep? will sex also be on your own terms??

SAMBARRY: In everything we are doing

SAMBARRY: What were you expecting to read



i am watching you on 3g

i was expecting to see something i can try on oga this night o not this long comprehension passage now.

something like that jennykadry's thread. I can't find it again sef.

marveangel: You my guy are something else......U said this is cute?......Would U allow your wife do this kinda thing to your only son?

SHE is not a guy

bukatyne: I no sabi law but if the wife is the one offended and she still offers hubby intimacy, I do not think it is molest

if she is the one offering the sex, then it is different now.

bukatyne: Very correct

I think where our church miss it is insisting or piling everything up on the head of the wife

Then marriage becomes a chore

You are right. We had our women's convention the weekend in my church and the speaker that was invited on Sunday was just talking about women this women that bla bla bla. With all the men in attendance o. Saying things like what's in the OP and only one line for the men begging them to love their wives. You can imagine an irresponsible man in the congregation who will now go home and be trying to enforce what the speaker has said without any plan of changing his ways. he will now see the wife as not submissive. Whereas, when the men have their programmes, for the ones they manage to invite us(women), you will not hear things like that. Only success preachings on how to make it and be successful in life etc.

As if the woman is not a human being too.

bukatyne: Ok, what's major and minor to you?

What do you think worth's your hubby sleeping on the couch or denying him s.ex?

Personally, every issue must be sorted out before bed time to avoid these kind of scenerios. I won't send my hubby to sleep on couch when i am hurt. the worse is that we sleep on our own side of the bed...... As a sensitive husband, when you know that you have offended your spouse, it is expected of you to try to sort it out and not just come asking for sex when you know she is angry. It just shows you don't care about her feelings.

Whenever i am angry and we haven't sorted it out or maybe hubby thinks its no big deal, no problem. We still sleep on same bed so if he wants sex, he will feel the difference because i won't be ready for any pre-intimacy and he knows that without that i won't flow. So he still gets his sex but you know sex is different from sex sha. So most times, he knows better than to ask for sex as such times.

bukatyne: understand they are talking to a Christian audience and do not expect such anyways

Okay o. but even Christians are human and the unexpected can still happen

dBard: I've a response t dis, something that happened some yrs back t a friend..tho they weren't married sha but.....
she was t travel wit her fiance, went t his house, outta boredom, n met him@ home wit his ex..he, in boxers, she jst having had her bath. She walked out, without causing a scene, waited, helped him prepare n dey traveled f d occasion n came back wit her still 'normal'..n likewise f d next cpla days. after 2 -3 days, he came confessing n begging n promising.

So u see, it applies even in dse situations

Everybody can't be the same. Maybe the woman was in the state of shock. You can't blame another woman who chooses to act otherwise.

MizMyColi: ^^^ This is supposed to be a two-way thing.
I remember she posted last time on the Husband's testimony, where he, the man had to do all the apologizing, at fault or not.

Things did get better for them. You might wanna read that too, if you haven't.

Maybe it will even be better to be posting the two-way things on same thread. i.e if you want to post something about a man, better get the part for the woman and post together. By doing so, everybody will come there and pick whatever is relating to them. no fighting or condemnation or castigation or guilt

bukatyne: She is talking about withholding sex or food or sending him to sleep in the guest room when he offends but honestly I agree that offences have different levels and this couple in question try their best not to do major offences.

When they wanted to separate one time they were having issues before they started this Facebook page, the husband moved in back with his parents and waited till their issue was resolved.

He did not go to a lady's place; he did not see it as a license to cheat etc. he stayed faithful till their issue was resolved.

So you see, they take their vows seriously and try to be the best.

They are not Christians in mouth

And what/who determines what offense is major? What may be minor for them in her family and she can overlook might be major for me in my house and make me boiling?.......... anyway, i see the OP as a form of encouragement and not ''this is how you MUST do it''......... The christian race is an individual race.....

beeevan: I think the dude lacks intensity and coital swags, let go if sex is that important to you.

carefreewannabe: So what are wives suppossed to do when ...

1 ... a husbands cheats on them?

2 ... a husband cheats on them and infects them with a STD?

3 ... a husband beats them up?

4 ... loses his salary on gambling?

According to OP

bukatyne: And before a wife says, "But what about when they...." stop right there. This is TO wives FOR wives, not to or for husbands. We wives must be accountable for OUR actions and OUR behavior. In fact, here's what the word of God says on this matter.

1 Peter 3:7 (NIV), "Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives..."

Eph 5:33b, "...and the wife see that she reverence her husband".

Prov 31:12, "She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life".

anyway, i am still waiting for what is expected of the husband to do even when the wife upsets him..

SAMBARRY: then let him be.na by force. How easy do you think it is for an adult to change to please/satisfy another human being



During my early 20s my Brother UNSUCESSFULLY tried in every way to change me from addiction to tv/movies and he failed WOEFULLY because I DIDN'T WANT TO CHANGE

bottom line is :if an adult is used to a particular activity he has been doing over time, IF HE DOESN'T WANT TO CHANGE, believe me no amount of pressure from anyone can make him change. Change doesn't happen because a person whines shouts beg etc it starts because the person has made up his mind to willingly change.

hmmmm................

teeo: I wish all women would agree to this, but no they won't. The first thing they do is close shop when he offends them .

Nice one OP....

What if you catch him cheating on you? The first best thing must be to close shop and get tested before you even think about talking about it.

@OP- all these things are easier to write than put to action. How can i be upset with someone and still act as if nothing happened? Forget about it been my husband now. It is just a natural thing. Once you are hurt/offended by someone, you can never ordinarily be the same with the person until it is sorted out.....And it hurts more when the offender is your LOVE.

diaris God ooo