₦airaland Forum

debrief08: Yomi you are wrong oh. Dangote has 3 ex wives, The wives with all he money don't stay with him.
So being Dangote is no guarantee for a happy home.

are you for real?
Dangote?
Had 3 ex wives........
Pls, somebody to tell me its not true.........
If its true, then, certainly.........everything is not about money.

Chygirl2: Everyone must not be a lair?yabatech,I'm doing part time.

ok......even better that you are in Lagos, look for a job to do, afterall, you are a part-time student, which will even give u more time to work.
Goodluck!

Gambrosia: All I saw was a nice, young poohsie?
Nothing about marriage!
You need to watch more P-OR-N dear OP. . . looks like you are lacking or it is new to you.

Next topic please!

you are toooooooo much.....madam!

dayokanu: Oro so sini lenu o bu iyo si

iyo ko se po danu, iso ko se gbemi.


In this case, as i have said b4, respect your agreement and stay/enjoy your family, thank God, you are already comfortable here, only that you want a greener pasture, which u can also get here.....money cannot buy you happiness.....i tell you........
If i tell you my story about what i sacrifice in my marriage, because of my family's happiness, you will open your mouth and will not remember to close it back......but im not regreting.......we are not rich o, but we are happy and comfortable with ourselves, im yet to see a couple who is happier than us.....i tell you, im not boasting, God is my witness.
Btw, God may even be using all this to prevent you from going......remember...."all things work together for good for those who love God"
there will always be a better offer.....i tell you.......just be hopeful.
May God help us all.

Ignore him, he will always have other reasons to come to you, and when he does, remind him of his orevious action and use d opportunity to appeal to him to not do such again. Hopefully, he will change and if he doesnt........there is always another time.

She is just shameless and senseless!

okosodo: After one of your james bond jounernies, your child will ask you , why do you always go to dads room every nite. You will reply...

to watch James bond film now.

I just dont like d music videos.

I, personally respect agreement so much, since you said you have already agreed on "no long distance marriage " between you, why dont you keep to your agreement, or betterstill,move together to Oman with your family, if its possible.

If you talk to her and she refused vehemently......why dont you diversify d money you are earning currently and make more money thru it. I always believe a bible passage that says "all things work together for good for those who love God.."...........part of loving God is to respect agreement. Who knows, your wife's refusal might be a blessing in disguise.
Respect your agreement and you shall be rewarded.
Its better to stay now and continue to enjoy your family than getting more money and not enjoying your marriage, because it may lead to your wife changing if you didnt respect your agreement, so that you dont come back to NL here and be complaining of how your wife changed thereafter.
May God help us all.

I really do understand, but what about using your mobile phne to log in, something like 10-15minutes daily, that wont be too much.......it can be on your bed,in d kitchen or even in d car, when you are not d one driving..............im saying all these, because im really going to miss you a great deal, i've learnt a bunch here as a NLander, especially from family section and mst especially, from some pple, i dont want to mention names but you are definately one of my respected NLanders.
Ilove you so much and i hope d long break wont be beyond a week.
Cheers.

This is one of d issues that should have been thoroughly discussed and reached a compromise over.

Under no reason should sex be used as weapon between couples, it shows how immatured and unprepared they are.......and if care is not taken, just like others have opined.....its going to be d beginning of d end.
However, its never too late, d couple can still sit down and discuss. The wife should state her own reasons of wanting more baby, d hubby should also state his own reason for not wanting an addittional baby. Then look at d factors to consider in reaching a compromise, such as
-finance........how financially stable are you both, how secure are you in your jobs.
-Time........d training of kids takes a lot of time and d woman cannot do it alone, so, d time available for both of d parents should also be considered.
-health.......d health of d mother should also be considered.......and so on.
May God help us all.

@ vivian chinaza, may God bless you, i can see you are wisely blessed, may u not choose wrongly..........u just said what a wise woman should say......God first, family next and other things follow, especially for a woman.
There is actually a little of what househelps can do if d couple plan their marital lives well and are actually in love with each other.

For me.......,no househelps, regardless of his/her age, when i sleep, i want to sleep with my 2 eyes closed, when im not at home, i want my mind to be at where i am, not sleeping or out and be thinking of what may probably be happening to my kids in d hand of d househelps. D4, it is a very crucial issue to settle out between an intending couple.
Marriage and family raising consist of sacrifice and d sacrifice i made was to change my job to a less risky and less time-demanding one, which is paying me big time. For women......family first, career next and for men......career first and family next...............balance up.
May God help us all.

Shes did d right thing.


@ trottle, thats yuor own opinion,and you are entitled to it.

Gambrosia: Amiiiiiiiin ooooooooh!!!!!
I reeeeeeally love your posts!!!

thank you ma!
Sincerely, i have really fall in love with your posts in recent times...........

And why will a person who understand what commitment and compromise means in marriage walk out of d marriage because of trivial issue?

Any person that does that never knew what marriage is about b4 venturing into one.

Im sorry to ask dis questn, did he marry you in order to get papers, if yes and unable to get it yet, that could be a reason for his withdrawer/playing safe with you.


Another factor may be what Jidegirl thought of........,maybe, hes already entangled with a strange woman, which may not be easy for him to tell you.


Do you have kids for him yet? If no, some typical nigeria men wont be happy with their wives, if shes yet to make him a father,and being a white, he has to be careful with you.


However and whatever may seem to be d case, you know your hubby more than anybody else, find an appropriate time to sit him down and express your mind, if at first or second attempt, hes not giving you d desired attention, then mail him.....send a comprehensive e-mail into his inbox and request him to reply......

Also, if there are kids, push d kids to him to go and play with him in d room,then, thereafter join them there.
May God help us all.

Its natural........a certain child tends to behave positively better than some others.......even God says in d bible that........"esau, i hate, jacob, i love".


But, as a parent, one has to be careful not to let d kids know dt one of them is most favourable, so that it doesnt cause trouble/division among d kids.
May God help us all.

If this news is true, then, that man should be examined mentally. I dont think any sane man, i mean, a man in his right senses can do such cruel thing against his own child because of pussy, or i should call it.......faka-faka-faka........abeg, that man is a runaway yaba-left patient, i guess right.

[quote author=Efemena_xy]She had a three month old baby - so a fairly new mum.

I'm thinking this lady might have been suffering from Post Natal Depression.

Sad story though...[/quote]my thought too.




But.......
Who knows?
except God.

majour: nice
not derailing bt hw did u come abt that handle

my handle?......hhhhhhmmmmmm
you should be able to know that........well, thats an assignment to you.........

Sincerely, there is no one with kids that will probably not experience something like this, except d child is a mumu.

As for me, i adopt various approach, but number one of them all is....."go and sleep in your room"......it works like magic, once they hear that, they instantly become gentle. At another time, especially when they are preparing to go school, i do tell them........"more tantrums there, u are not going to schl by d car, i will arrange for a bike".......they behave well instantly. But, occassionaly, i use "egba tinrin"....like, maybe once in 3-6 months.....for d older kids who are not below 4yrs old.
Parenthood...........e no easy.........
May God help us all.

There is no wasted person in life, its either a person is a good example or a bad example......either way, you learn from him i.e you emulate to be like a person or you do not emulate to be like a certain person.


If you want to build your family better than d one you are from, build more on d strenght of d family you are from and do away with d weaknesses thereof.
May God help us all.

Gambrosia: Thanks!

you are welcome ma!

debrief08: I just went through his posts and I am having high blood pressure on behalf of his father. How can so much cluelessness be in one person?
a 26 year old man oh, not a 12 year ol boy. Thank God for giving you a patient tolerant father, honestly

dont mind him, he is of age but not matured................there is a long and wide gap between age and maturity..................

@op,Thank your God you didnt fall into a real bad man, he would have poisoin you teh-teh.....smh for you!

Yes, that is d wisest thing to do.


Gambrosia, aka calotti....just hit d nail on d head.........said it d way it should said.

After going thru your profile, d topics you have raised here, sincerely, i cant blame your dad for treating you d way he is treating you, infact, your dad is a saint,just like what debrief said, if your ways are straight, i tell you, you will not have cause to fear to dt extent, your dad has good intention towards you, but he has discovered that you really need iron hand before he could see what he wanted to see in you, hence, d way he treats you.
Change for d better, prove to him that you are now a changed and better son to him, stop running after what you dont need now, invest in something profitable, you are not too young to be making money in addition to your schooling, stop being idle, stop telling lies to have your way, stop conniving with friends to fool your parents, earn respect for yourself, stop chasing after girls, going 8 rounds with a girl when your mum is not around, you are an adult, if you dont behave as one, no one will treat you as one. Do all these and your chance of seeing d other way your dad will be treating you respectfully.
May God help you.

Harwo: I dont see any feasible solution in sight because everybody is corrupt. Believe me, if corruption can be reduced to its barest minimum and everyone is less self-centred...Nigeria will be better.

in that case, let there be death sentence on anybody who is fund to be corrupted.

desirel: my husband is spending all his free time on the phone talking to his friends and family, browsing his iphone or sleeping. i tried to talk to him about this, but he is saying that he is tired. all the time tired. i'm thinking that he suffer of depression and i told him to see a doctor, but he refuses. he is not interested in anything and if i ask him to do something,is not happy. we are married for the past 4 years and it wasnt like this at the beggining, but now looking back i see that is a growing process; because i was busy with work and raising the child, i didn't realise it. in the same time i know that nigerian men(at least the people i know in my community) are not to much involved in the family life; as long they go to work and provide, their jobs is done. i'm feeling frustrated of all this "absence", because i feel that we are becoming strangers. any idea what is going on?

i dont really get this, did he lost his job and refuse to look for another job?
Has he been jobless from d beginning?
Do you mean, hes always at home, calling frineds on phone and lazing around when he's suppose to be in his place of work?
OR


During his free time, he has refused to be helping you as regards house chores, instead, he prefer calling friends and giving you excuse of being tired?

If d former is what is happening, then, depression and frustration have set in, take it easy with him, let him get over d joblessness.



If d latter is what is happening, i will like to ask you, when he was helping out, did you usually appreciate him or you think, its his duty?
Do you always complain of not doing certain things right in d house?
What type of pple do you think his friend are, are they d types that think d way he thinks or are they d ones u think can be discouraging him not to help you out in household chores.

In any of d case, do what you can, when you can, talk to him about how you feel, ask him questions about his feelings and reasons for his actions, hes your hubby, you should be able to know d right time to approach him.
May God help us all.

debrief08: Nairaland is not an adoption agency.
I am becoming careful of people who come with posts like this, hoping this isn't a scam.
Go to a Catholic Church or Orphanage.
For anyone desperate enough to want to send emails please be careful, don't release any money, speak with a lawyer.
I am really skeptical

thank you, i dont know why pple cant take d right approach to solving their problems.
I also smell scam!

As for me, d first thing i do to my kids is to pray for them, confess and prophesy good things on them.

zanga420: U are welcome but I asked a question and looking forward to an answer to it n a positive answer really.

unfortunately, im d last born, but if u are a right partner yourself, u will definately attract d right partner.
May God help us all,