₦airaland Forum

KingEbukasBlog:
I think my first post perfectly explains my post . How about improving- giving him a reason to go further than usual .

It perfectly explains nothing. Just last week a married woman amidst other complaints, complained abt how painful sex is wt her husband (probably the penetrate and release type, no pre-intimacy for the woman), she gives him MouthAction, when asked to try it wt her, he suddenly remembered all the diseases one cld get from mouth action.
Some men are just selfish beings, who feel it's only their right to be pleasured, as long as the woman keeps popping out babies, and like cococandy said, u seem like one in the making, no offence

KingEbukasBlog:
my point is that the women are to blame not the men .

Yh yh, women are always to blame. Let's all blame the women, they are the reasons their husbands av weak erection, premature ejaculation or just lacks any sexual imagination or doesn't care abt their satisfaction other than penetrate, release, then sleep, etc
Yes, let's continue blaming women, men are infallible beings, women shld always be at fault

injuredman:
I am posting this believing that many guys visit the family section too.

My wife and I were chosen as part of the church committee on family issues. The committee has organized many seminars, talks and interaction fora for different family issues. Such include, family finances, child upbringing (children were participants too), in-laws wahalas, careers, and most recently sex as a means of oneness and procreation. The revelations from this last seminar (sex) and the discussions that emanated gave me and my wife a big shock.

It is very common to see or hear all guys bragging of their sexual prowess. On a forum like Nairaland.com, every guy (married or single) have a 7-12 inch dick, can go 30mins none stop, and can make a woman scream always. On the other hand, every married woman is highly satisfied with their sex life(I don't blame them though, afterall, it is a taboo in our society for women to talk about sex or desire satisfaction). But the reality is most married women are not getting what they desire in the bedroom from their husbands. To make matter worst, most of them had tasted good sex before marriage. But in marriage they had to pretend to be satisfied, otherwise they are labelled as sluts. Or, just lie there fantasising about their ex. Some have even contemplated getting it outside, some are doing it, while some opt for romance toys (secretly).

Out of 10 ladies that my wife interacted with, with strict confidence, 5 confessed to either having some form of satisfaction from other men by way of romance or full sex, 2 confessed of having intimacy gadgets to satisfy themselves without the husbands' knowledge, 2 had contemplated doing it (cheating), but are scared of the repercussion as they are from a place where the deities are set against such acts (Note: they are not scared of their hubbies), and only 1 said she is satisfied with hubby's strength in the bedroom. Please note, I can not take this to be a true representation of the of the society. This must be an unfortunate sample size, I guess.

In all these, I see that some women are not getting what they desire. Men are mostly blamed in all these cases. Some don't care if their women have the ability to enjoy sex too, some don't let their wives to contribute or suggest something with regards to their performance. All the 10 husbands to these ladies told me how wonderful they are with their wives in the bedroom. 7 confessed to getting BJ from their wives, but only one returned such favour to his partner. Are guys that selfish? Or these things only change after you are married? I believe "what is good for the goose is good for the gander". As a matter of fact, once you can give a good head, half of your job is done and done well.

If you have weak erection, as some of the ladies complained, discuss it with your wife and look for solution together. Look for other ways to please her aside penetration. If you have quick ejaculation problem, delay penetration till she is close to her big 'O', while you seek medical attention. You can discuss and agree to start with a romance toy or finish it up with it. This is not the age to shy away or allow the male ego to spoil things for your family. Note, a sexually unsatisfied wife is a nagging wife or a pretender.

I wish all couples a satisfying marriage life.

So so insightful and on-point

Very interesting read. May God ease our affairs. I'm a nurse but can relate wt some of those points

refiner:
y laffin at me....cos u are beautiful abi...well enjoy it while it last....una dey lucky

Lolz, seriously if that's u in ur pix, u're beautiful. It doesn't matter how pple see u, it's how u see urself. They can't create u anyway, so why shld they judge u for ur looks?
I'm sure u're joking tho.

Werin consign me

Toks2008:
Traditionally its after a bride price is paid

Religiously it is when a pastor or imam pronounces the couple married

Legally it is when you sign the papers in the registry

From the Biblical angle. there is no laid down procedure.

As long as you do all or one of the first 3,you are married before GOD and man..shikena

No, Islamically it is after the couple agree in front of everyone the spouse to be is their choice, man has given the wife her dowry (anything the woman wishes for as gift from him), the parents give their consent, then they are joined together in the presence of 2 witness. If one wishes, the marriage cld be done in the sitting room sef but the walimotu nikkah will just be to entertain pple

Nubian113:

#stalkerAlert

As long as you buying sis I'm drinking

Lolz, stalker? Nah, I came abt tht piece and it was hilarious really. No probs at all.

Nubian113:
You baaad she call man dog but not her papa

Then you call her b!tch and she....

Lolz. Nubian! When someone called u the amebo of the estate, I didn't want to believe o. As regards what u said abt men as dogs, I made a gud note not to generalize, but the pple tht fell into the category had to show themselves.
Oya let's go and buy drinks and continue watching the display of madness.

doveda:
Naijaboiy, I told you that you are a foo.l

Please ignore the f.ool.

Lolz. It's always interesting watching idiots display their stupidity and idiocy, isn't it?

naijaboiy:
[color=#1980BC]Answer my question and stop whyning. Bítch! [/color]

I'm tempted to tell u to go ask ur mama. But I know u didn't grow up wt parents so u don't respect her anyway.
So pele, use ur drugs as prescribed by ur vet Dr next time. It won't do good to av rabies infected dog on the loose. U're free to bark on like I know i will, but u're henceforth ignored

naijaboiy:
[color=#1980BC]What breed is your father? [/color]

I had expected this from any fool, never knew it wld be u. When u learn to read and assimilate, quote me back. Nw stop making a fool of urself and swerve

OP, simply ask him, if u were the one pregnant wt a houseboy's child, what wld he do? He has to be ready to forgive too if he isn't a great self-centered hypocrite

OP, simply ask him, if u were the one pregnant wt a houseboy's child, what wld he do?

doveda:
Women are supernatural beings

They can't feel anything and they can deal with everything

Abi o, they are expected to be the epitome of perfection while the man bleeps around and still get praised

doveda:
Some people would still claim that men are rational beings


I wouldn't trust people who speak from both sides of their mouthy.

Rational beings, my foot. How can someone who wld rather think wt his little head be rational? Later they'll come saying it's the devil's work.
NB: not all men are like this. But many are. U'll hear idiotic sayings like 'konji na bastard', when the person wt the konji is only physically different from a dog. And these pple are the ones tht can't bear another man looking at their wives talk more forgive a cheating wife, but they will want to be forgiven

doveda:
I don't mind. At least I will have a blind partner.

Our degree of madness would be different. Insanity get level. Mine will be far higher than his

When you understand that you do not have monopoly of madness, you will learn to treat people the way you want to be treated. People hide far too much under the umbrella of forgiveness to do things that might kill them if done to them.

It's annoying. Pple will always want to justify rubbish when men behave like dogs. Yet, the idiots will come here and say women ain't loyal when many are plain in dogs in human clothing.
Let's assume they had gotten a fairly grown houseboy instead and he had impregnated the woman, will the dog she calls a husband be quick to forgive. All the hypocrites supporting the dog-like man will want the woman's head on a stake. To them the man is always right and the woman must always be at fault

haffaze777:
70,000 likes for dis wonderful reply to a guy u quoted,I don't know why people will blame someone or desist someone for what he/she does not have power over

Abi nau. It's all vanity afterall, beautiful, handsome, not so goodlooking, whatever, all will be food for termites.

zubby29:
my dear u r wise

Thank u

hooklover:
Lady I love ur sincerity. It's a mistake u made under pressure. I know of a girl my guy loved.The only mistake he did was to pln marriage in 2016.he loved he dearly and everyone saw a bissful relationship for 2yrs 07030382640ut she met a guy day promise her marriage in 2 months without dating and she jumped at the offer without informing her guy.Did introduction at his back. We ound out d guy is very ugly and black. He realised d only way to enter d babe was marriage withoit dating her and she fell for d plan.to marry in 2 months.

I ask her y she did such she say she know she did not love d guy but she wanted marriage in 2015 badly.the u know most pretty babes are really gullible cos everybody believes d guy used jazz on her cos he was a total reject.

The irony is dat d guy did intro to secure her but dmarriage is still in 2016 just like watt my guy promised and guys parents are asking to c d babe. She is not proud of d guy looks and gossip is every were already making her cry always y she yield to pressure just to marry cos she say age not on her side at 32.

D good news is d guy just go a job with Total with hefty package which he planed to enjoy with his girl but she jump ship for d supid reason ever.She has been crying ever since and is ashamed to go back to him.

Point her is cos u r man is ugly he knows it and is forcing himself to make u happy dats not mutual dats y u feel bad.

Don't be deceived cute guys are caring it takes patience to meet and get the best from dem.

Never yield to pressure to marry due to age or Wat people will say.

The people dat pressure u 2 marry will mock u and u will lose self esteem.

Ur kids will most likely be ugly and bear shame 2 and lose sel esteem.

Don't be deceived looks matter u need someone u proud off.

I wish u good luck as u bear this through life is really long o bear such.

If u cant cope with the shame divorce him is Ur life. U have e only one life to live.

Seriously? Is there a hidden sarcasm I'm nt catching.
So if she had married a handsome dude and he (God forbid), got into an accident, or had burns or a dermatological disorder tht destroyed his looks, she shld start planning divorce so as not to feel ashamed of him?
Why are pple so vain? Why shld u judge pple by their looks (calling someone a total reject), becos of something they had no control over. U don't chose to be handsome or average or ugly, u just find urself tht way.
The Op was the silly one for marrying a man she is not attracted to for whatever reason, she had the choice to say NO but she didn't. The shame part is all in her head, even if one's husband is crippled how is tht anyone's business, let them talk, he is hers afterall. She only has to work on her esteem issues and stop making the man feel bad

scaredy:
I have been married for a year now to a man that is very unattractive. I married him for two reasons

1. My younger ones and friends were all married and I was desperate at 32.
2. He treats me well

He's a good husby but I sometimes get ashamed walking with him because he's very ugly. I'm a pretty girl and when we are in public he's all over me wanting people to know we are together and I see the looks they give us.

I don't mind sleeping with this man and being his wife, I just want the feeling of shame to stop.I know some men don't treat their wife well and I feel lucky mine own does that.

Get him to do a plastic surgery.
Sincerely now, only u can stop tht feeling. Why shld u be ashamed of him, is he not human? U shld stop caring what others think (it cld even be all in ur head), be proud to walk with him, and introduce him as urs. Why marry him when u know u ain't attracted to him, the reasons u gave are flimsy. Know tht beauty is a vague and vain thing, a person looking like a Prince Charming one minute cld turn to something else after suffering burns or a dermatological condition, wld u divorce him or stop loving him then? If it's the way he dresses u don't like, tus.h him up, buy him stylish clothes as gift and help him pick out clothes u like
Be proud of ur husband, he is urs afterall. He might even be getting u feel ashamed of him and this can affect him psychologically and consequentially ur marriage

YourMain:
Thank you! See that's how you should have approached her!

My faith isn't strong enough for that yet. But maybe in the future.

So how did I approach her? I only mentioned u to correct something, so I don't knw wht u're actually going on abt. The pix is public already so she'll only do well to avoid a repetition of such.
Alryt, may Allah make it easy

YourMain:
Actually you're not wearing the hijab the way it's meant to be worn either. I can see your figure which is something you should be concealing according to Hadith.

Thank u very much for tht observation sis. It is something I'm actually working on, my new set of hijabs are bigger thanks, and I will soon pull this pics down. However, it wld av sounded nicer if u had been using a qimar urself

YourMain:
Actually you're not wearing the hijab the way it's meant to be worn either. I can see your figure which is something you should be concealing according to Hadith.

Thank u very much for tht observation sis. It is something I'm actually working on, my new set of hijabs are bigger thanks, and I will soon pull this pics down. However, it wld av sounded nicer if u had been using a qimar

YourMain:
Yes it's fine viral because of people like yourself who put her on blast. If y'all had done the Islamic thing then it wouldn't have ended like that.

Abeg, spare me. I didn't blast her anyway, she is free to expose whatever, but using the hijab wt it is what I'm against. She might nt av knwn she was exposed at first, but she surely saw d pix well b4 uploading.
Never knew instagram was meant to be for ladies only. Even if it's for ladies only sef. At least she learnt her lesson, next time, check for any lapse in ur dressing b4 posting things on social media, cos pple won't look the other way

YourMain:
Yes it's fine viral because of people like yourself who put her on blast. If y'all had done the Islamic thing then it wouldn't have ended like that.

Abeg, spare me. Never knew instagram was meant to be for ladies only. Even if it's for ladies only sef. At least she learnt there lesson, next time, check for any lapse in ur dressing b4 posting things on social media, cos pple won't look the other way

YourMain:
Lol I know what hijab is. But not wearing hijab isn't zina. The zina part is when you don't cover your private part. The zina part is a major sin. When you're with a woman your private part is only from your navel to your knees. So when you're with a woman your chest isn't considered a private Part. That's honestly the simplest way I can explain it. Showing your boobs to women isn't a zina. .

Yh sure, even wt mahram males, u can still expose ur chest. But she isn't showing her chest to just women nw, is she? The pics has gone viral

YourMain:
Nooooo no no no no no. You really really really really need to study Islam more. Sigh. You can't go around cursing non believer. You can curse kaafir but only a certain degree of kaafir. Not all non believers are kaafir.

Not wearing hijab isn't a major sin. The major sin is not protecting your private parts. With women your private parts are only from your navel to your knees. If you look at the page where the picture was posted, you'd see it's a page mostly for women.

My God, u're so wrong. We shld all read up more. The woman's aura includes all her body except her face and hands. The male aura (unclothedness) is from the navel to knee. The use of the hijab is a command by Allah to all muslimahs. U shld read up more on the hijab

daretodiffer:
I don't think you should judge her. She might grow up to be a Niqabite

Yh yh, I wasn't judging was I? I gave my opinion on what was on ground and it's true. Yh, she can turn out a niqabi, who knows. Yourmain's words are true, u make excuses for ur brother or sister and call her privately. Apparently she doesn't av gud friends to call her and tell her or they are in the same boat. I know when I see pics tht shldn't be public on my friend or sister's phone, I tell them to delete it anybody can browse thru ur phone, talk more uploading them on a social media.
When u upload things on social media, don't expect pple to look the other way, u will surely get reactions

daretodiffer:
I don't think you should judge her. She might grow up to be a Niqabite

Yh yh, I wasn't judging was I? I gave my opinion on what was on ground and it's true. Yh, she can turn out a niqabi, who knows. Yourmain's words are true, u make excuses for ur brother or sister and call her privately. Apparently she doesn't av gud friends to call her and tell her or they are in the same boat. I know when I see pics tht shldn't be public on my friend or sister's phone, I tell them to delete it, talk more uploading them on a social media.
When u upload things on social media, don't expect them to look the other way, u will surely get reactions

essencestore:
When you are in love with Allah
But still wants to satisfy Abdullai

Lolz. Gbam. U totally hit the nail on the head. I don't understand really, why use the hijab when it's not even doing the job it shld. She cld av used scarf sef or nothing, no one wld crucify her. Like pple who wear tight trousers and top then put an hijab on time, I'm always like what's the use.
My mum had to call a woman one day, u are wearing hijab, part of ur back and buttocks are on display, so what really are u covering, abeg.
I guess she wasn't aware her breast was showing while taking the pixo but she definitely knew it was on evident b4 uploading to instagram. If u wan expose chum chin expose am, but why use hijab on a barely concealing cloth?

Rukkydelta:
i'm not twisting anything. It's very easy to spot a minor, even when they look matured than their age, with the way they talk, you call know that they are still a teen and other attributes they possess. And most cases of rape, the rapist usually have a close relationship with the victims, so the rapist must have a clear knowledge of the victim's age. According to your post, if a adult female is being raped she should take that blame because
she already have a seductive body, right ?

I'm not talking abt rape here, but u will agree these days pple look older than their real age. I once met a 11yrs old girl and I was tempted to argue wt her she is as old as 15yrs. My cousin is 13yrs, if she tells u she is 18, u might nt argue, some 16yr olds look like they are in their twenties and the way they dress and make up doesn't help matters.
About the naivete and lack of discretion, I think this issue has more to do wt lack of contentment of some teenagers. For example at 15yrs, I already knew what I wanted in life, what I will and will not take, I wasn't just a blubbering mass of idiocy tht any man can just come around to sweet talk and sleep wt, yes, we probably make mistakes then due to less experience, but a teenager tht has no problem sleeping around probably cos of the 1K or 2K she'll be given by the guy will most likely grow into an adult wt same reasoning.
I had a classmate then at 15yrs who will be describing how to seduce a man, can u imagine? So don't paint all teenagers like they are all a block of innocence and naivete. U make ur decision to sleep with tht guy cos he'll give u money, if she had enof scruples to say NO to him. Yes, some men are plain dogs, but teenagers these days aren't totally naive, they sleep with him for the same reason some adults sleep wt men, for the financial gains, or some stupid sense of love and in order to keep him, then this brings us back to the parents.
Yes. PARENTS. They av a lot of roles to play in these situations. The values left unto the child has a lot of effect on the child.