₦airaland Forum

Giyazz your next opponent will finish you with personals after what you just typed there about your parents white wedding.

If you gonna do a long build up, make sure the finisher is a haymaker.

Rebel has better vocab, better multis and better world knowledge however witty imagination/ jokes is lacking to complete him as a textcee.

In this battle, Rebel had long build ups then finished them with a generic punch.

Giyazz has many weaknesses but he is wittier. In this battle he used decent current affairs puns like Oluchi and Oshiomhole. But the main haymaker in the battle was the biting allegation. He made his case perfectly with that line and finished off the battle there.

Criteria wise, the battle will be close. Entertainment wise, Giyazz the clear winner

Opener - 1 point - GIYAZZ

Rhymes - 2 points - REBEL

Similes/ Metaphors - 2 points - REBEL

Punchlines - 3 points - GIYAZZ

Flow - 1 point - TIE

Wordplays - 2 points - TIE (although Rebel did himself no favours with Apocalypse. Giyazz Ado Ekiti line is also suspect)

Closer - 1 point - GIYAZZ

MVGT - GIYAZZ

We all know the issue in midfield and the issue with Ivanovic.

However, I will add that 3 weeks preseason is partly to blame due to the lucrative trip to the far-east at the end of last season. The club expected to gain fitness by playing over the first few weeks but we were handed a difficult fixture list.

The other problem is Mourinho has become an oppressive presence on the training ground. Since the board did not back him through the summer with signings, he has been short-tempered, neurotic and acting erratically. This is creating an oppressive presence on the training ground. Players and staff are said to run and hid behind doors when he is walking through the corridor.

Jose performed a miracle to get that team to win the EPL last season. The board thought it would easily be replicated and refused to back him. He has been brooding over it all summer (I could see it from all his press conferences) and it has created a poisonous atmosphere in the club.

We all know the issue in midfield and the issue with Ivanovic.

However, I will add that 3 weeks preseason is partly to blame due to the lucrative trip to the far-east at the end of last season. The club expected to gain fitness by playing over the first few weeks but we were handed a difficult fixture list.

The other problem is Mourinho has become an oppressive presence on the training ground. Since the board did not back him through the summer with signings, he has been short-tempered, neurotic and acting erratically. This is creating an oppressive presence on the training ground. Players and staff are said to run and hide behind doors when he is walking through the corridor.

Jose performed a miracle to get that team to win the EPL last season. The board thought it would easily be replicated and refused to back him. He has been brooding over it all summer (I could see it from all his press conferences) and it has created a poisonous atmosphere in the club.

First loss of the season. . . no yawa

Classsyalabolas:
Ibime..

can you create a thread for Giyazz & i?
we've agreed to drop by 8pm tonight[10 bars], & Mikuz is not forthcoming with it..

Omo, no time

This ninjas dream is coming true. Make Arsenal no flog us 4-1 oh because I go call this guy Nostradamus if so.

https://www.nairaland.com/2531294/true-story-what-saw-dream


Meanwhile see wetin Julian Weigl dey play for Dortmund, just £2m.

mikuz:
This was in 2012 when I was voted Music section poster of the year.

Hehe Jackpot; I see you Efe!!

Ok lets go . . .

Lalaboiy . . Knows this/ voters gave me this trophy/ cos in this axis . . Im well known by all and sundry/
So call me . . the championship . . like the English 2nd tier football league!/

Amblors . . Im so sorry/ . . . but you lost your crew/ you paid 'em to rob for you . . Until ma price made them give up on you/
Cos I stash cash like ATMs . . And make voters withdraw from you!!/

OMG . . They JOBbed you like it was they profession/ even ya chick did same . . but she told me not to mention/
What I write Inspire(d) [b]M[/b]en . . like the mod of Auto section!/

I kept brandishing money . . Now my hommies . . are on a real champaigne popping/
You are so broke . . Ya friends found you wanting/ you couldnt throw papers to save ya head . . How come you gave ya comrades nothing/Thats rather daunting/
But as Petr . . my 'cheque' pay pals . . (paypals) like the online money company!/

Ask Ogaga . . I leave these girls impressed . . with the bars I render/ ma cash keep bulging once I step on the arena/
Even United's strikers couldnt ball enough . . to sur-pass ma cheddar (Macheda)!/

Tosin its so clear . . Ya fans won me this bout/ so i advice you shut ya b!tçhy mouth/
Cos i wrote my posts in 'fowl' language . . to make ya voters 'chicken' out!/

Infact . .my victory almost broke yo home/ ya wife couldnt quit the disturb on phone/ until I came over . . and slid her some chromosones/
So keep-with-the flow . . or ya views will face resistance . . like volts of ohms!/

Tosin see . . I and victory stick together . . like pages on Encomium/ cos when I mount on the podium/ I never fail to thril the auditorium/
No other can cook better rhymes . . You bet they dont know all their onions!/

Like words from Sanusi . . on fuel subsidy/ Jackpot claimed my triumph was so convincing/
Best believe . . The poll was no offshore drilling/
So Mukina equally can attest . . that Mikuz did not rig it!/

Im old in this block . . Im no New Kid/ my speeches . . make you to-wish-on (tuition) like Babcock school fees/
Even little Efe knows . . I script more 'puns' than adult movies!!/

Tosin I go give you red eye o!!

Are you trying to say something about Goshikid?

I saw some of my build ups in his verse even. . . I just floored his chin/ and deformed his pen/. . . but since it was build-ups only, I didn't bother to comment.

Best line was the Google line by Sosiq

I won't fault Goshikid for lack of effort but you can see he is still formulating his style. With practice you'll get there, but for this MVGT: Sosiq

GIYAZZ:
I have decided not to drop a verd for this bout just to stay neutral. But the developments I'm seeing recently from other judges are disappointing. I don't know if you guys didn't see your mentions when Iceskidd tagged you, because Mikuz had to hide it. Or if you are just tryna ignore the tourney and kill the fun. Either ways, I am going to mention your nicks again so you can drop your verds. And anyone of you online who ignores this thread again loses my respect instantly!

I don't like douchebags.


Cc; Ibime

Emaprince

Kr0ne

Elymaxiimus

Coogar

Airmark

Stop swaying ninja. I haven't read the battle, will get to it in due time

Nihilist:
Considering that Eva's ex has already come out to say the she was sleeping with one or two of the players...and that one of them(Ivanovic? ) used to ask her to come and give him sports massage and then meet her at the door to his suite 'In the Buff', there might be something to your theory...

Na lie. . . wey the link?

Fabregas needs to stop eating kebabs that Lebanese girlfriend has been preparing for him which he keeps posting all over instagram.

Ivanovic should be sold to El Kanemi Warriors

Baba Rahman the one season wonder these clowns paid over £20m for can't even make the bench. How far?

Its a shame you bring in a DM in Mikel to solidify the midfield and it looks just as porous. We won't complain if RLC came in and made mistakes, at least it would be a learning curve. What we can't stomach is the same old failed 35 year old snail claiming to be 27 coming in and allowing opposition midfielders to drift behind him at will

Kenedy is not better than Traore abeg. JM should stop picking favourites.

Why did the club sanction post season tour of Asia and only 3 weeks preseason. These ninjas don't look fit.

As much as we blame the club for failing to act early in the transfer market, JM has reacted horribly and has been behaving erratically all summer which must have transmitted itself to the players. I'm sure this Eva Caneiro issue musta affected the players view of Mourinho more than we realise. Imagine how Hazard must feel about him.

Finally, in a situation like this, those who questioned Drogbas usefulness to Chelsea last season should have another think. DD was a leader of men, serious yet jovial and he would be calming heads and dissipating the nervousness in the team right now. Never underestimate the human aspect that DD brings to any team.

Dadehmola:
I'm still waiting for Ibime to blame Ramires, Oscar and ofcourse Emenalo for that Wankfest we saw at Goodison park yesterday.

P.S - Vexation & Abuse dey Allowed

No but I will blame Mikel and Ivanovic

Chelseafan1:
U need to see the rubbish wey their Neymar play yesterday night, na that freekick just save am, he was shitty thru out the match, Iniesta did well, when Messi came on, it was obvious to everyone, a football god came on, no be that mumu boi wey dem dey always come here come hype.

We really can't continue arguing with them, if Hazard dey better team like Madrid, Nobody go even try compare Neymar to am, U will hardly see him losing the ball senselessly, his teammates just need to turn up well abeg.

Once Costa, Fabregas and Iva can get it right again, our the will be back and stronger

Man will you stop this rubbish Hazard fandom?

Every 5 seconds writing about Hazard and Neymar.

Hazard is not fit to be mentioned in the same sentence as Neymar. Get that through your head and quit disturbing us with nonsense. Na useless posts like this dey make people come here to type boring nonsense about Hazard when nobody call them.

Roland17:
I was not at the location where he was born neither am I privy to his birth certificate thus I am sorry i can't factually state his age, that would be misleading..

Why do Nigerians like long stories when asked a simple question?

Admittedly you passed through the walls of a university so you should have some powers of estimation and deduction

If it was 10 years ago and he and his mates looked about 14, you should be able to estimate that he is between 23 and 25.

The same Nigerians screaming for change will be the same ones who refuse to change themselves. This answer you gave me typifies the deep seated corruption in the average citizen.

If in 10 years when Iheanacho is supposed to be 28, he is unable to run and underperforming for Super Eagles whilst blocking the chances of a genuine youngster, na una go first dey shout Super Chickens.

20 year old Raheem Sterling just hailed 18 year old Kelechi on twitter by calling him "Uncle Kelechi". Are you telling me Raheem wey no go school can estimate his true age, but you can't?

A40:
I am bigger than my problems *in Ricky Jerret's voice*

I am bigger than my problems *in Ricky Jerret's voice*

Na you be Ayew Ghana Dance?

Roland17:
I am celebrating Kelechi Iheanacho with so much excitement and happiness because I am a profound witness to his humble beginning playing for Coach Taye at the township school football ground..

Nwanne 'm we are proud of you..

Cool. . . what would you say is his real age

Iheanacho wins the game for Man City. . . well done lad.

No frustration here. . . I set my expectations low to start so e no even pain me again. . .

You ain't the best keeper in the world until you do what Cech did at Camp Nou and Allianz in 2012.

All this one na yarns for now, I'm yet to see any keeper as decisive as Cech since Oliver Khan in 2002.

Good keepers need the defining moments to become great.

Emaprince:
Hmmm! You are depressed too? Lol...I'm trying my best to recover sef.

Whats wrong bro? You dey talk depressed depressed up and down. No carry am play o.

Pls collect my email from Mikuz and hit me up make we yarn, if I can assist in any way.

I honestly thought Jazz would win this easily but he disappointed me.

Jazz been dropping some stingers recently while Jigs style isn't built for textcee battling. Those URL/KOTD styles don't sting often enough to be used in text format where you have to drop a punch every 2 lines.

Regardless, Jazz didn't bring what I expected.

MVGT: Jigs

Nihilist:
I don already dey see some conciliatory messages

"Bro"

"I agree"

And some other explanations of the 2012 season in a non-threatening manner.

Soldier-ant go bite una two blockus if this fight no happen.

I done drop the ninja code to cool him head. I for show am wire today, but it's all good. Make he no raise my blood pressure with Ramires name again, that name fit make me address am anyhow

airmark:
It's like calling other players idi,ots if based on 3 matches ramires was our player of the year. Someone that hit the ground running immediately the season started scoring goals too. I give up.

Based on 4 matches alone, DD became a legend that season. The UCL was the yardstick that season not the league where we performed woefully. Example, someone just said Sturridge was the poor performer, yet he was joint top scorer in the league with Lampard. Lampard also scored 16 goals that season and Mata made 20 assists or so. Yet no one cares what you did in the league that year, Ramires goal vs Barca or DDs header in Bayern would far outweigh any performance over the season.

BTW, Mikel was the best player in the final. That does not stop me calling him crap.

For the last time, Ramires cannot pass the ball anywhere near the standard required from a central midfielder. Posting youtube videos from a season you missed and caught later on highlights only shows that we watch and understand football while you watch highlights

timbros:
LOL Ibime and airmark

Both of you are saying the same thing although differently.

Ibime is trying to say that Ramires is crap as a central midfielder thats why RDM played him out of position in 2011/2012 while Airmark is making it clear that Ramires was in form in 2011/2012 thats why he was voted our player of the year.

Both of you are correct.

Ibime is correct in that Ramires hardly played in the three man midfield that RDM always deploy. He prefers playing Ramires in the wing. Incidentally, most of his best games come from that position.

Airmark is correct also in that Ramires won player of the year that year. No crap player wins that Award. His fellow players voted him and I'm sure they know what they were doing when they voted him.

Ramires won our player of the year that year playing NOT AS A CENTRAL MIDFIELDER but as a winger.

Correct. . . more or less. . . I will narrow it down further to state that Ramires won the award due to his performance as a winger and fullback in 3 games alone - the UCL games against Napoli 2nd leg and both legs vs Barca. . .

Certainly not for his league form where Mata had all the best stats in the league and Chelsea flopped woefully in the league, with most of the first team benched in the latter stages of the league as RDM prioritised UCL glory over the league.

airmark:
It's because of views like yours that made me to desert this section over the years. I watched football matches since way-back up till now not highlights. I only brought the videos when I remember those moments I had watched to nullify falsehoods you said right here. Ramires may not be the best in his position but saying he was crap in 2011/2012 shows your lack of football judgement.

Ninja you watched 2013/14 season through retrospective highlights. Don't argue with me something you did not watch. No self respecting Chelsea fan can post 2013/14 youtube highlights as evidence of Ramires' good performance unless he was on Robin Island during that season.

airmark:
Typical wack analyst. Why the abuse? In the absence of cogent points, they always turn abusive. Ramires is not a crap, I quoted you last time because you previously did to mine. It was airbornelacer that I quoted who asked why the fight? and you hurriedly quote me, hence my reply. I don't throw jabs at Chelsea fans, your analyses have been bullsh1ts. your hatred for ramires is second to none, debunk the points raised rather than ducking and being abusive. You need to know the meaning of the word CRAP before using it recklessly.

There is a reason you rely on highlights to catch up on how Ramires performed during your absence. Instead of coming to ask ninjas how Ramires has been playing, you quickly ran to youtube, while jumping all over Ibime to argue when I was not discussing with you in the first place. Dude, Ramires has been the worst player at Chelsea for the last 3 years, and he was also crap in 2012. No vex me abeg. . . . Ramires has been pissing off a lot of ninjas here, the mention of his name alone can make me address you anyhow.

This is the reason you were shouting all summer for Stones whilst reasonable and intelligent people were asking for midfielder first to protect the defence. How could you know the problem at Chelsea when you have not been around to watch Chelsea, yet you dey come here to argue with ninjas out of arrogance.

I told you ninja. . . I watch my team, you rely on highlights. . . I'm not here to argue highlights with you. . . .so cool your dada.

airmark:
Showing you youtube video is an evidence that your judgement on ramires that he could nt pass the ball was irresponsible and insincere. I just exposed your lie about him not able to pass the ball.

Please, I've been trying to tell you I do not discuss football with ignoramuses but you are not getting the message. That you are not very bright is not a secret.

If you believe Ramires is competent at passing the ball, please avoid me like a plague on this section. I do not discuss football with eediots.

Like I told you from the jump. . . I watch football, you watch highlights. Your highlight video of Ramires in 2013/2014 proves exactly that point because we all know he stunk to high heavens.

airmark:
Ibime was just using muscle unnecessarily. Imagine him asking which good passes ramires gave. I even deployed an highlight of great moments of his in 2013/2014, not even talking of his best season 2011/2012.

This is why I said I discriminate who I discuss footie with, just like Raumdeuter told you. We are discussing footie and you are pulling up Youtube highlights - that can make even Mobi Oparaku look like a star.

So based on your youtube highlights from 2013/2014, Ramires is a good central midfielder? The same 2013/14 that JM had to buy Matic in January plus deploy David Luiz in midfield to save us from Ramires' incompetence? So is your Youtube highlight supposed to convince us otherwise? You should have labelled the video: "Highlights of poor performances that made Ramires lose his place in midfield to Matic, Luiz and Fabregas".

airmark:
If a player you called crap was our best player in 2011/2012 season , then what will you call all our other players that season? . May be crap has another definition. Your evaluation of players has been horrible to say the least

Mr man, just face front abeg. I discriminate who I discuss football with so make we just end this convo now. From all your yarnings this summer, I no get business discussing footie with you.

We who noticed how crap Ramires was in 2011/2012 were telling you live and direct in that time that he was a headless chicken who doesn't know how to pass the ball or play anything resembling midfield play. Instead of telling us we were correct, you are telling us another story that we were wrong in 2012 (but right in 2015?). A player never loses the ability to pass the ball, so if you have nothing better to say, please jump off my mentions. Ramires was nothing resembling a central midfielder in 2012, and he is nothing resembling a central midfielder now.

Need I remind you that RDM played Mikel-Lampard-Mata in midfield from the moment AVB was sacked in February till season end, with Meireles coming in for the UCL games. Ramires did not play a single minute in central midfield under RDM. The three performances that won him kudos came at left-wing (Napoli 2nd leg and Barca 1st leg) and right-back (Barca 2nd leg). He was crap as a central midfielder even in 2011/2012. Kindly don't quote me again abeg.

airmark:
Players do have off-days but the old Ramirez was a Trojan in our midfield and he scored goals too. He would drill through opposition midfield to make our attackers run to position and gave good passes.

Which good passes?

What performance did he put in in midfield?

Did he lose the ability to pass the ball overnight?

Abeg face front. I no get patience for nonsense talk.

airmark:
I was surprised ibime said he was crap too. I don't know how we forget past performances of players so soon. 2011/2012 was his best for us, he was Chelsea's player of the year.

Note the dates on the below. When some of us are watching football and understand what we are watching, some DSTV boys are recalling highlights. Ramires has always been a CRAP midfielder from the day he walked into Chelsea. Ninjas used to argue and call me names back then when I told em Ramires doesn't know how to play football, now everyone will concur. The same thing y'all complain about now, me and FBS were the only ones highlighting back in 2010.