₦airaland Forum

Best bars. . . .

JigsawKillah:
Yo!
I'm the Last Don, on your marriage night, I'ma start the murder
Aristocrat records, Ice gon' melt as I start the Burner
We see you and see 'L in front'. . . That's how we mark the Learner
Ice can't stand the heat in this Arsenal. . . Carlos Vela


I got an advice for you bro, quit rap, stop foolin' yourself
You're better off stickin' a tool in yourself
Wanna find your worst enemy? Look in yourself
You can't learn from us until you start schoolin' yourself!
Jigs!

Iceskidd:
Y'all know whatever he says bout me, i'm not that/
In this shoot out i shoot till he fall back/
Capture the kid, pull out a 50 cal on this rugrat/
Tell him don't move, but if 'J walk' we kill him for crossing the wrong path/

This saw 'sore' loser is gon get a poor loss/
Try to run when he saw us/
Bury the carpenter son and make saw dust/

I beat you twice after this 3rd whooping I won't touch you again/
but fúck around and son will be maimed/
but i just taught y'all that, whatever doesn't kill you don't make you stronger but come to hunt you again

Opener - 1 point - Jigs

Rhymes - 2 points - Jigs

Similes/ Metaphors - 2 points - Tie

Punchlines - 3 points - Ice

Flow - 1 point - Jigs

Wordplays - 2 points - Ice

Closer - 1 point - Ice


Ice 6 - 4 Jigs

MVGT - Ice


Jigs is way more polished as an emcee, but on punchline and wordplay criteria, those last 3 bars gave Ice the big scoring categories.

Nihilist:
I question the wisdom of betting against a team that has now won 4 scudetti back to back and was a champions league finalist just a few months ago...

I don't think Pellegrini is to blame for your wasteful spending...

Bwahahahaha.

donjazet:
Am so gutted seeing the dismal performance premier league teams display in Europe of recent. If someone would tell me that juventus who haven't won an Italian league game, whose midfield is still under renovation, who spent less than 40 million euros would defeat a Manchester city team at home, that spent a 160 million euroes with a heavily equipped midfield and fastest strike force, I wouldn't believe this.. That game cost me #33,680. Pellegrini!!! The thunder wet go fire you dey chop akpu!

You lost 33k abi Juve spoiled your accumulator? Wetin be your original stake?

. . . .


My cash coming in fast . . . you got the Patience of Job/
I vacation the globe/ from Malaysia to Rhodes/
Spending currency in Qatar . . . . they make you pay through the nose!/
You getting money is funny. . . . Dough? Ha! . . . . you gave niggas jokes!/


Goonie mentality/ I show up to battles. . . like "who be the casualty?"/
Kick niggas into orbit. . . . for acting out of this world. . . .like Clooney in gravity/
If I see beef emerging/ the eagle bursting/ I squeeze the first in/
Fúck talking. . . . all that yapping sound like Greek and German/
I pull the dezy. . . . and deliver with no fúcks given. . . .like the Hebrew virgin!/
This evil person/ will beat a feeble person/
And if a person call his people. . . .I’ll show. . . I ain’t a people’s person!/

. . Emcees is vermin. . .


. . . but Adanna is tight/ I know niggas planning to pipe/
But if any 'guy yarn her'. . . .I’ll fly his head to the 'Caribbean'. . . .when I land with the right!/
You bozo’s wrong/ My pops. . . Biafra war vet. . . that’s where I get ma mójo from/
My moms causasian. . . . so I fair well. . . .like oh, so long/
Plus bítches know my mojo is oh so long/
I toss a grenade. . . while you taking selfies. . . .that’s a photobomb!!/


Beef me. . . they’ll hang your effigy in the Vasa/
That goes for Jigsawkillah . . . .and any enemy to the master/
He claim he 'cooking' up rhymes. . . . but those KOTD styles. . . . are 'recipe' for Dizaster!/
The bars I peddle/ are carved from metal/
I beat Coogar. . . .then drowned U boat. . . . . like a Nazi vessel/
and your chick will lose love for ya . . . if she meet this party devil/
cos the díck . . . .will have her running out of romance. . . . like Darkenedrebel!/


I’ll have her screaming "gentle, gentle!"/
I steal my best friend chick. . . I ain’t sentimental/
Emaprince depressed over girl issue. . . . what you think. . . . sent E mental?!/
She beefing you?. . . I’m the cause of division/ and all of the friction/
Giving her míssionary. . . . like I’m in pastoral position. . . .after we past orál position!/


Look. . . I’m running this ring/ Y’all can’t fúck with the King/
If Max step. . . .the Desert Eagle. . . will take him under it’s wing/
So you better duck with ya crew/
I just wrote this in my office to prove I’m tougher than you/
but ya’ll better save the rebuttals. . . .cos I got budgets to do/



oNe

Feature I did for Thunder's crew that never made it to Nairaland. . . .


Y'all feeble and supine/ I'm evil and sublime/ and regal when I rhyme/
emcees tryna see the 'Kingpin'. . .will get a 'needle' in the eye!!/
People be surprised/ at my cars and my flash watch/ my yard and my land plots/
They said money couldn't grow on trees. . . till they saw me harvesting 'cash crops'!!/
I'm intelligent and well read/ humble without a swell head/
Good upbringing. . . even bakers in Agege . . . would tell you I'm well bred!/
I smell dread/ rappers who boast of power and pride/ will cower and hide/
Dirty niggas. . . face a blood bath. . .when my bullets shower inside!/
The tools this brute handle/ will leave your fruit mangled/ if our roots tangle/
My wife's a true sample/ of beauty that's too ample/
while ya chick a crude camel . . who wouldn't look pretty. .if viewed. . from acute angle!/
Niggas tryna destroy my aura/ will suffer toil and torture/
and if you "building up a head of steam" . . .your face will get splashed with boiling water!!/
This negro roaming/ to places where English isn't even spoken/
You never travelled anywhere . . . where they speak no broken/
till I 'splatter your blood to the four corners of earth'. . . and get ya haemo 'globing'/

Mourinholic:
Traore in 5 mins has shown more promise than Cuadrado in 6 months

I just thank God Cuadrado is playing for Juve. . . . hope that they will actually pay to sign him next summer

Traore came to play ball

Mourinholic:
Y not change to 4-3-3 then? He should fit in nicely

He's been impressive. . . need to see him against a better team. He looks like a mix of Pogba/Zidane style of player

Rahman dey Bleep up seriously here

Mourinholic:
Loftus Cheek is an enforcer

No, but he is a good attacking player. Shame that is not our pressing need right now

Omo see goal wey Florenzi score for Roma against Barca

darkenedrebel:
mikuz & thunderstorm are the greatest biter of styles in textceeing history. they hijacked Ibime's rhyme scheme patterns & punchline format. from A-Z

I met Thunderstorm here in 2012, he already had that style which he brought with him from Facebook

AdeLaNa1:
Old age?? C'mon he's just 25!!

Nna mehn, some Brazilians dey follow Naija way o

Costa slow die. Maybe na old age

Baba Rahman is nowhere near fit. I believe he hasn't had a preseason. No wonder he's not even been in squad.

Also his passing has been poor

I don't see any solutions in the midfield. What's the point if not trying to build understanding between RLC and Matic. Still the same holes in midfield

Why Costa?

Anyway to give him confidence I guess. This Maccabi team no be opposition

I need to see Traore. Forget Kenedy

Willian

Principalities and powers at work, even Hazard dey sky penalty

Loftus Cheek not holding position. . shebi nobody want defend for that midfield

Coogar, no beef but you need to do more and talk less.

Dudes on here have paid dues. . . .ninjas have dropped thousands of bars. . . . if one of their bars match another thing seen elsewhere, we ain't worried. . . . Giyazz claimed Darkenedrebel lifted a line in their battle but nobody took it serious cos we have seen Darkenedrebel at work hundreds of times. . .

You've dropped 4 rhymes on here. . .

1st one dissing me - 80% of the bars seen in KOTD battles

2nd one vs Mikuz - 80% of the bars seen in KOTD battles (Please stop boasting about the win, most of those bars are on youtube)

3rd one vs Siddog - Seemed to be clean and bars were scorching

4th one vs me - I hail the effort, no KOTD bars, but plenty generic jokes as seen below.


So, why would we not view your rhymes with suspicion. . . . we don't see you rhyming. . . and when we do, we see many suspect things.

Analysis galore. Anyway, this our problem done pass tactics. It is spiritual, which is why I'm taking a trip home to sacrifice 2 white goats to Fenibeso.

.

I see a lot of comments but I'm not sure most Nigerians understand the difference between a zero-based budget and an incremental budget.

Incremental budget (which most Governments use) means you take what you spent in your ministry last year and add inflation (or an agreed percentage increase/decrease). That means any slack, fraud and corruption built into last year's budget will be perpetuated into next year.

For example, under an incremental budget, Buhari could easily justify a N1.09bln feeding budget for Aso Rock ie take the N1bln Jonathan spent on food last year and add inflation at 9%.

A zero-based budget however means you build the budget from scratch, identifying all the needs and justifying all expenditure on a need-basis. The drawback is it is painstaking and expensive in terms of time and effort.

I say kudos to the new administration. A lot of hidden fraud/wastage will be expunged by this singular act, and should act as a tighter reign on incoming budget holders.

If Mikuz dont mind me posting, I found my last verse against him that got washed away by NL crash. . .


Kingsley: boy’s name meaning King’s wood




Achebe jealous of my reign/ He envying my fame/ but can't step up to my game/
cos Kingsley couldn't be King . . .if he dropped . . . .the last four letters of his name!!/

I'm not tryna create wahala. . .

. .but his crazy father/ should be slain and battered/ for treating Igbo culture with disdain and laughter/
cos everybody knows from Umueje to Asa. . .
"Igbo enwe Eze". . . Igbo have no King. . . yet he named the maga . . . Kingsley Ezeala!/

So if you know the whereabouts of the traitor wànker/ please alert our local Ohanaeze chapter!/
And we'll be there with razor blade and hammer/ to interrogate the Anumanu over this disgraceful matter!/

You claim Opara. . . (first son)

. .like you proud of the fella/ but I doubt that hes clever/ cos he ain't counting no cheddar/
cos "Ezeala" means 'KING OF THE LAND'. . but the clown should remember/
that men in his villa/ will never consider/ a destitute nigga. . .for the 'Council of Elders'!!!/

I got the right to be harsh and abusive/ cos Kingsley means "King's wood". . . but the part I'm confused with/
is your name literally means. . . . "King's Wood, King of the Land". . .so I've smartly concluded. . .that your father is stüpid!!!/

Check his sisters facebook. . .

. . . she don't seem so fresh/ her face alone will make any negro vex/
And I don't mean no mess/. . . but the bítch look like a cross. . . between Iyabo Obasanjo. . . and Taribo West!!!/


She'll never see no séx. . .

. .cos the crazy thing?/ You couldn't pay niggas to sleep with your baby kin/
so keep your cash in the ATM. . .cos you'll never see that 'ox laid'. . . till Wenger pull out Walcott . . .for 'Chamberlain' !/

Lately, I've been hitting the gym/ Why shouldn't a nigga be slim/ if it's my wish to be as skinny as him?/
The difference is. . .I got choice in the matter. . .but na poverty cause. . .the condition he's in!!!/

What I spit is classic/ This stinking bàstard/could never rival me in any frigging aspect/
He claiming 'bucketloads of money'. . .but I'm the one 'splashing' cash. . . while this broke joker. . .got no 'liquid' assets!!/

He claim he's overseas in Bermuda/ eating fettucini with tuna/ but he's really a loser/
Airmark already proved he's jobless. . .so there's no way this 'mod rich'. . . unless we speaking of 'Luka'!/

I shoot lethal bazookas. . .

. . he never held a semi/ bullets impale his belly/ when I expel the dezy/
And I got soldiers to help defend me/. . . so even if he run from Enyimba to Gombe. . . I'll have 'Warriors' after him. . .like he's 'El-Kanemi'!!/

Breaking news!/ This ugly nigga with gaping tooth/ never tasted no ladies boobs/
So he might claim he's smooth/. . . and blessed with long díck. . .but that doesn't measure up . . .to the nàked truth!!/

I'll gut the fàg with a sword/ The last pastor I gored/ dismantled the fraud/
He claimed his 'breastplate of righteousness' could mangle a sword/
and his 'shield of faith' could stop any attack at its source/
. . but things fell apart. . .when Prekky shot Achebe . . . with the 'arrow of God'!!/

The snitch rat on his crew/ informing JTF. . . what militants are planning to do/
. . and since we savage and cruel/. . .he'll get thrown from 'High tower'. . . for telling the 'Police Academy too'!/

cos we don't condone his odd behaviour/ so watch your head when we toss the faker/from the tallest 'scraper/
And when pedestrians on ground level. . . hear the 'loud drop'. . .they'll swear the nigga falling. . .is the 'Swansea trainer'!!/

He's a fücking pretender/ I'll tear his cruciate ligament when I rumble the fella/ and cut his patella/
. . .and have him screaming "Oh-leg!!" . .as I make him 'lose knee'. . . like the former gunners defender!/


He better keep it real/ before the secret spill/that he lack the bravery to compete with skill/
cos he a spineless nigga/ so you guys on twitter/should help him buy some liver. . .like OJB Jezreel!/

liricyst:
Lol..i don write two versions already....was brainstorming on which was better when i saw this

I done write my own join. . . Giyazz come make we battle

Emaprince:
After the stinging personals he dropped against ofoka, mailmac and most recently, darkenedrebel, I hereby crown giyazz...


The KING of personal(KOP) !!!!



You just can't take it away from him. His personals are fresh, they are all real and very funny.

Big L influence.

If you want to develop your humour/wit, then listen to Big L

Giyazz your next opponent will finish you with personals after what you just typed there about your parents white wedding.

If you gonna do a long build up, make sure the finisher is a haymaker.

Rebel has better vocab, better multis and better world knowledge however witty imagination/ jokes is lacking to complete him as a textcee.

In this battle, Rebel had long build ups then finished them with a generic punch.

Giyazz has many weaknesses but he is wittier. In this battle he used decent current affairs puns like Oluchi and Oshiomhole. But the main haymaker in the battle was the biting allegation. He made his case perfectly with that line and finished off the battle there.

Criteria wise, the battle will be close. Entertainment wise, Giyazz the clear winner

Opener - 1 point - GIYAZZ

Rhymes - 2 points - REBEL

Similes/ Metaphors - 2 points - REBEL

Punchlines - 3 points - GIYAZZ

Flow - 1 point - TIE

Wordplays - 2 points - TIE (although Rebel did himself no favours with Apocalypse. Giyazz Ado Ekiti line is also suspect)

Closer - 1 point - GIYAZZ

MVGT - GIYAZZ

We all know the issue in midfield and the issue with Ivanovic.

However, I will add that 3 weeks preseason is partly to blame due to the lucrative trip to the far-east at the end of last season. The club expected to gain fitness by playing over the first few weeks but we were handed a difficult fixture list.

The other problem is Mourinho has become an oppressive presence on the training ground. Since the board did not back him through the summer with signings, he has been short-tempered, neurotic and acting erratically. This is creating an oppressive presence on the training ground. Players and staff are said to run and hid behind doors when he is walking through the corridor.

Jose performed a miracle to get that team to win the EPL last season. The board thought it would easily be replicated and refused to back him. He has been brooding over it all summer (I could see it from all his press conferences) and it has created a poisonous atmosphere in the club.

We all know the issue in midfield and the issue with Ivanovic.

However, I will add that 3 weeks preseason is partly to blame due to the lucrative trip to the far-east at the end of last season. The club expected to gain fitness by playing over the first few weeks but we were handed a difficult fixture list.

The other problem is Mourinho has become an oppressive presence on the training ground. Since the board did not back him through the summer with signings, he has been short-tempered, neurotic and acting erratically. This is creating an oppressive presence on the training ground. Players and staff are said to run and hide behind doors when he is walking through the corridor.

Jose performed a miracle to get that team to win the EPL last season. The board thought it would easily be replicated and refused to back him. He has been brooding over it all summer (I could see it from all his press conferences) and it has created a poisonous atmosphere in the club.

First loss of the season. . . no yawa