₦airaland Forum

Hanseel1:
You mean.. they transfer their frustrations to their wives.?

Not exactly. But pushing her to her limits till she opts out

lefulefu:
na wao..so how the man go come take dey frustrate the woman?

You know na. He will just keep loading her ammunition and pushing her to the wall with his actions. Just the way a guy that wants to break up with his girlfriend will stop calling her, start acting distant and strange till the girl just gets tired and leaves.

Lalas247:
leave them na .. can't u see Naija females no even bother they drag bread with them ...

they will still end up marrying .. Facts all this fantasies is allowed .
we can always Dream ..

I just watch them sing their favourite Nigerian girls tune. They are allowed to dream. When they wake, they will still marry their Nigerian babes

Because they don't want the blame to be on them for the marriage failing. They would rather frustrate the wife till she can't take it anymore and now be the one to initiate it.

They are just deceiving themselves. Who else will marry them?

Why someone decides to cheat is not for any of these reasons but because they decide to cheat. You can as well call off the relationship and walk away rather than stay and cheat.

Op you probably started the relationship with spoiling her with gifts and money...showing yourself. Now she has got used to it and you are complaining. Why did you start what you could not finish?

It might not necessarily mean she is all about your money. But you have already spoilt her. You will need to discuss with her rather than playing games and pretending to be broke.

One of the topics couples intending to wed discuss in marriage counselling is money...how to handle it. But you can talk to her about it now and let her know you need to start doing investments and you need to know what she does with her own money especially if she is not spending on you. It cannot be one sided.

When you get to that bridge, you will definitely cross it. No form of training is required.

And someone was talking about scholarship there...of all places.

Guitarlife:
I appreciate your input, ofcourse I am willing to accomodate my prospective wife and give her a voice, the problem has always been women. I have found out they mostly do not know where to draw the line. Like someone stated, we must set out with that understanding that though we are partners, we are not equals.

If we get into a situation where we have to make a judgement call and we both have different opinions who will make the decision. These kind of things have torn homes especially when both partners stuck to their guns.

I know my view might be viewed as being patriarchal but marriage is patriarchal, I mean christian marriage is.

This is a rather sensitive and tricky subject, I am enlightened enough to know better than to subjugate a
woman however, I need my partner to willingly and happily consent that I make the judgement calls. This definitely
may not sit well with most "politically correct" folks but there is a reason why our parents had longer lasting marriages
than this present generation.

Decisions need to be made together. I also see a communication breach here. Communication is very very important. Carry her along in your planning.

As long as you see yourself as one, you cannot do anything without your other half. How can you proceed without the other half of your body? Don't see it as a battle for supremacy. You are the husband and she is the wife...two different roles.

You are the head...the leader not the boss. There is a difference between a boss and a leader. A boss says "go" but a leader says "let's go".

And if your wife to be is the stubborn type and doesn't listen to you or respect you, you need to sort that out now to know whether to proceed with marriage or not.

It is only a man with low self esteem and low confidence in himself that is threatened by a woman being successful.

A lot of men even push their wives to be better and to achieve her dreams rather than some men that kill those dreams because of their egos.

All men are not the same.

All men are not scum or trash.

The fact that you keep meeting the bad ones does not in any way change the fact that there are good ones. There are many good men...many. Same way that there are many good ladies despite what some guys choose to believe.

Your woman has to learn to respect your decisions and disagree constructively and in a wise manner and not fighting or arguing over it.

However, you will need to involve her in decision making. You will be the head but you can't just make decisions individually and expect her to go with it.

You mentioned the marriage being only court. Did you discuss it with her? It is her wedding too.
They way you broach a matter contributes to it. If you always use veto power, she will always fight it.

Both of you are supposed to be a team with you as the leader. So work as a team.

It's just that getting there is stressful since there is not flight there. I heard it is about 5-6hrs from Calabar

samyfreshsmooth:
WHo is lalasticlala and why is everyone making a big deal of his supposed marriage?

He is a snake

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
Why not go to Germany where they have free education and u could easily get a job as a student?

But you still need to have money in a block account

He must be a nairalander. They are the ones that like to whine and obsess over women.

Muafrika2:
Mostly because in Africa, people have a sense of entitlement. Your siblings will start scolding you for giving them too little pocket money, your parents will start giving you plans of their dream house ... every body else will stop trying to help themselves and wait for their rich brother to take care of everything

I know someone summoned by parents and informed that as a firstborn She was supposed to buy land build a family home back in the village - for her parents, brothers and sisters. I wanted to tell her there is no such African culture. I shut my mouth in awe. But I advised her to ensure the title was in her name

How come the father did not build the house for his children but is using authority to make his child build it.

aaronson:
Lol I thought it was BANKING TIPS....

Me too