₦airaland Forum

KingAlabi:

[color=royalblue]Alabi, let bygones be bygones, please

[/color]

pocohantas:
Naso, person wey I go rub im head small and he’ll hand it over. Onuku!

[color=royalblue]Fork you, Pocohantas

Meanwhile, I'm here to learn [/color]

[color=royalblue]5

Come and pay me to redeem this spot [/color]

[color=royalblue]Is this the first one we would be having?

Good development though[/color]

[color=royalblue] Viking Baba, the man who inspired me to type in blue

Congratulations.

Abeg drop zoom link for some of us wey no go come

Abeg [/color]

Ishilove:
This is super awkward

[color=royalblue]Just look at you

[/color]

Xmen149:
A real igbo mother will feel like she is pimping her daughter out by collecting anything from him.

My mum then collected all the gift my sister received from the guy that wanted to marry her and kept in her room. instructed the guy not to bring her self anything.

told my sister to take time study the guy and if she change her mind so they can easily return his gifts that the man may not hold anything against her.

boyfriend is boyfriend,if you like baptize it fiance.
If he hasn't paid bride price he is not in-law he is boyfriend.

[color=royalblue]cc: BRATISLAVA

I hope you understand who a fiancé is in Igbo tradition

It's not when it comes to gifts you'll start talking about tradition[/color]

BRATISLAVA:
Read objectively.

You were claiming he is not the fiance, hence your much typing. She said he is. You aren't either of them to claim otherwise.

Now, tell us more about your ideas of what fiance's can and must never do.

[color=royalblue]I asked you a question the first time...You intelligently dodged it

Does the in-law in your family (nuclear or extended) bring a gift every single time he/she visits?

When you have an answer, I'll tell you what it takes to be recognised as a fiance in Igbo tradition[/color]

BRATISLAVA:
He's her fiance. Why don't you read the topic and her post objectively?

[color=royalblue]A fiance with no introduction or traditional marriage is still a boyfriend, according to my Igbo tradition

Fiance that is coming to see the mum for the second time?

You should be the one reading objectively, sir[/color]

BRATISLAVA:
Context is important.

Most people who think they aren't traditional online are the ones who lick the in-laws feet in reality.

Most, if not all, Nigerians follow the traditional way when getting married, and there are certain expectations that accompany it, so acting like it doesn't exist doesn't fly. One of the marriage traditions is the giving of gifts. If such tradition did not exist, why did the mother still serve him anything?

Even when people visit your regular friends, they always go with a gift, so what's the big deal in this case?

So he brought a gift before means he mustnever give one again? Why does he want to traditionally see her parents but doesn't want to be traditional the rest of the way?

[color=royalblue]I think you're typing too much and saying less

The mother is complaining that he brought nothing and even sad that she offered him a drink without getting nothing in return.

That's petty to me. Very petty.

He's not even her husband. Just a boyfriend. The probability of them not marrying is there. At this point, he is not an in-law, and cannot be treated as such.

Stop talking about giving gifts. Nobody is saying it's bad to give gifts

People are only talking about the entitlement mentality a mother and daughter decided to have.

He's her boyfriend and it ends at that. The moment he comes for introduction and traditional, we can start talking differently

It's that simple[/color]

BRATISLAVA:
The gift thing seems to be the traditional way people go about making their intentions known, in Nigeria. He definitely knew that. If it were about money, they wouldn't have given him anything, but the mother did so s part of her traditional role.

[color=royalblue]Did you not read where she said he had visited before and brought gifts?[/color]

Trayceey:
not really. The first time he came to see her, which has been a while now, he didn't come empty handed

[color=royalblue]Everybody is always traditional online.

Pray tell, does the in-law in your family bring a gift every single time he visits?

The young man (a boyfriend) came to visit and there's already wailings that he didn't bring anything. I wonder what would happen if he brings nothing after marrying her

Na to end the marriage remain. [/color]

BRATISLAVA:
If you think they are poor, why did the mother serve the empty-handed boyfriend?

She could as well have felt she doesn't have to give him anything every time he visits. She shouldn't have served him anything for that reason.

[color=royalblue]Then she stop whining about not receiving any gift. She is definitely rich enough to let go[/color]

OJURONGBE1:
Nigga, you talking about me

[color=royalblue]You're still using a Ford..(Transit)

[/color]

pocohantas:
I have never seen the plastic one sef. Maybe I saw it and never knew it was it. All of them sha, I never do...

[color=royalblue] Coconut head[/color]

peeps4u:
The way you people easily use the word "hate" though.
I usually have counter arguement9 with JP, just I've had with Dru and some few people in few times, but I don't hate JP or anyone.

[color=royalblue]Sorry if I sounded offensive

I said "hated here". I have seen very derogatory words used on him. That doesn't seem like love to me, although I know he uses such words too

No vex, Oga mi [/color]

GforGee:
Of course he is right and I'm always looking forward to his contribution. Guess you're not seeing the rest of his statements that downplayed the competency of petrol car mechanics. Like I said, he's a great guy that I always look forward to his contributions. Na something tire oga ?

[color=royalblue]If because of one person, he decides not to be assistance to the thread, then it's fine.

Radautoworks have been bashed here countless times. Have you seen her running away?

Even jpworld, still offers to help people in distress despite how he's hated here.

I was surprised he decided to leave because of that. Like he said, he can be reached on WhatsApp.

Nothing spoil [/color]

GforGee:
I also understand his point of view too, and that's why I'm asking that he calms down. Now that we don't have competent technicians, should we all be dumping our cars for new ones? Or be flying in technicians from overseas (like we can afford it ). What I think is, he should give his advice, not his condemnation, the former helps!
Like I said on this thread sometime ago, he has been very useful, he should continue to be, not someone that will just discourage others abeg. When last did you even see comment here again.
We need people who will help, not otherwise.

[color=royalblue]He isn't trying to condemn. He's simply saying the truth, though bitter

Using a hybrid for Uber is a wrong tool. There are very few people that can handle it over here. Until your car breaks down in Badagry, and you have to tow it to Ladipo or wait days for the technician to come an attend to it over there, one won't understand

Someone here used a Ford for Uber, and he ended up selling it because of wahala. One needs to use a vehicle that technicians are ready available and can handle. That's why the Toyota and Honda is everywhere.

Personally, for me, Dru was right.

For now, a hybrid is a wrong tool for this business[/color]

[color=royalblue]Swissh is back

I greet you bros [/color]

Kaimaonyeana:
A bottle of wine would have settled this whole ish. Maybe because i'm igbotic but i can't go to an inlaw's place for the first time emptyhanded as a man. Just my opinion.

[color=royalblue]Read what you quoted again

1) It was not his first time. He brought a gift before

2) She is not his inlaw.[/color]

Hathor5:
And even threats of Western culture eroding 'our culture' when in fact Westerners bring gifts too when they visit. Most times when my oyinbo friends come over for dinner, I get wine, chocolate, flowers, you name it. But if for one reason or another they choose not to bring anything, no wahala. It's not compulsory to do it every single time. What makes it special is that they do it because they want to and choose to and not because it is a must EVERY TIME they come. A gift from the heart is more worth than a cultural obligation.

[color=royalblue]Is there even a cultural obligation?

The "culture" line of defence is just to justify the entitlement mentality.

Nothing more[/color]

pocohantas:
This right here is the main problem if you ask me. The effrontery to call the guy and scold him. Omo! I dey imagine as the call take go.

Double wahala for who no get bf wey wan visit her mama.

[color=royalblue]Scold am, come still hang up

Hahahaha.

[/color]

pocohantas:
It is entitlement mentality and I kind of understand Maria’a angle of bringing it close to home. It is more prevalent in the SE. I remember once we went to drop something at an uncle’s place and his younger kids received it. We weren’t home when the Opara called us and asked if Lagos has eroded our sense of culture. In a nutshell, he said we were suppose to bring wine too. Mind you, this my uncle is RICH, not audio richness.

Even if OP’s mum is so entitled, OP should have known better. That she can’t make independent decisions is a red flag.

[color=royalblue]The fact that she's using culture to justify the entitlement mentality just dey pepper me

The Op still dey even defend the mama...No mind of her own

Wahala for us wey get Mama wey no dey vex if gift no reach her hand [/color]

Mariangeles:
They want to usurp our culture with the western ways by all means...trying to change the narrative with words such as "entitlement mentality" "greed" and what nots...

[color=royalblue] Please stop dragging our culture into this embarrassing act

I have asked you what part of the Igbo culture stipulates that an intending boyfriend must bring a gift every single time he visits his girlfriend's mum. You no answer

It's not like he doesn't bring gifts. He didn't bring it once and hell was let loose. Mama was even complaining about the drink she gave him..

Please stop involving our culture into this. It's not part of it[/color]

J111333:
The matter tire me aswear.

The woman even complained of the drink she offered the dude and the daughter quickly called her bobo to hala, nawa. If I were in the dude's shoes, that would probably be our last phone call.

This kind future wife and mum in law, ike gwuru.

[color=royalblue]The lady's problem is that she can't even think on her own

At first, she didn't see anything wrong. But because mama dey vex, she decided to see reason where there was none.

The mama was even annoyed that she entertained him without getting Ankara, or Bag in return

Chai [/color]

SweetCunt97:
OH OK. Thought it's iku aka. She sha no do am well. Hope it won't spoil d relationship sha if so, na her mumsy cause am.

[color=royalblue]So in Igbo tradition, na only the guy dey go Iku aka n'uzo abi?

I just dey ask[/color]

Mrviktor:
Bruno was horrible yesterday. And our last game too.

Rashford has learnt a very bad habit of wanting to over dribble..

Pogba is well and truly out of position..

Wan bissaka.. I don't even know.. See cancello was even a bigger treath on the wing dan foden and sterling.. But bissaka dey didn't even bother closing him down.. He was useless after d half way line..

Mactominay was horrible. So basic when he's not defending.. So many times he should have tried an up tru or cross field pass he didn't.. He only knows simple short passes..

Martial ahhh God.. Diving and wastful..

Dean Henderson isn't an upgrade from degea.
Man lowkey conceeded 4 goals. Var chopped off 2..

Fred waste..






If we can't contain mancity.. What will Liverpool do to us bayi.. Cuz dos ones all dey know is attack.. Attack.. Attack..

Mariangeles:
It didn't seem to me like she was angry angry...



Not mandatory, but out of courtesy.



She made a mistake, and I believe she's learned from comments here.
She deserves a chance to make amends and settle things with her fiance.

[color=royalblue]She shouldn't blame him if he sees her mother in a different way.

I wish her well[/color]

CalliDora1:
Why not?

Can a banker or police officer do such on their hair?

[color=royalblue]Yes, he/she can do it on a weekend on his hair

And yes, I met an IT expert carry that hairstyle during the holidays

Let me guess? He's irresponsible[/color]

CalliDora1:
The green is more common in my hood. That is how you'll know the irresponsible ones.

[color=royalblue]You know irresponsible people by what they decide to do with their hair?[/color]

Mariangeles:
You didn't answer my question straightforwardly.

For me, I don't think the woman did anything wrong telling her daughter (mothers do that most times), it was wrong of the lady confronting her fiance with what her mother told her, and then hanging up without sorting things out with him.

What she should've done is guide her fiance on what to do next time he goes visiting.

[color=royalblue]How can a mother be angry that her daughter's boyfriend didn't bring a gift to visit her?

Can you please tell us what part of Igbo culture makes it mandatory for a boyfriend to bring some offering to his girlfriend's mother anytime she visits

As for the op, she needs to stay single for a while. She does not even have a mind of her own
[/color]

Mariangeles:
You didn't answer my question straightforwardly.

For me, I don't think the woman did anything wrong telling her daughter (mothers do that most times), it was wrong of the lady confronting her fiance with what her mother told her, and then hanging up without sorting things out with him.
What she should've done is guide her fiance on what to do next time he goes visiting.

[color=royalblue]The last time he came, he brought a gift for the mum

And then because he comes again without any gift, she goes complaining?

I don't blame people who think the Op's family is poor or the mum is greedy

No wahala sha. She can decide to sacrifice her happiness for an in-law that always remember to bring gifts when visiting her mum

[/color]

Biglittlelois:
My point exactly,

Not to sound tribalistic, she must be Igbo, but then, not all behave same way.

[color=royalblue] I'm Igbo, and i think it has to do with the family itself

The guy even wanted to visit her mum despite the fact that she wasn't around. Very thoughtful, if you ask me

Yet, dem wan pursue am because e no buy gift come.[/color]