₦airaland Forum

@ MUKS,

Its a WAR.
In WARS, u use whatever u have to fight.
SAWs(Special Automatic Weapons), RPGs(Rocket Propelled Grenades), Assault Rifles, Handguns, Mortars, Knives, Black Hawks, Grenades, C4 bombs, Stones, Bottles and whatever u can lay your hands on to fight.

Somze wants WAR.
I am like DHL or UPS, i ma deliver shyte to his doorstep.
My name is Jackal so i am a carnivore. I feast on flesh of 'em preys so i am only acting one of ma characteristicx.
You sure did BIO 101. . . . .Innit?


@ J-K,
Life is full of twists and turns.
Can u imagine? I was supposed to be part of the audience watching a movie but i have just been dragged to act the movie.
If only we had exchanged seats . . . . . . . . . .But i like the role i am playing.
Page me when i am thru . . . . . .U owe me PRINGLEX.

@ Somze,

You are not trying enough.
Maybe u should post that stupid link of urs 10,000 times more then i will go there.
You cannot buy popularity.
A lot of peops saw your thread and they were surer u got no brains in that leather bag u call a HEAD.

You stole Papoose rhymes fairly and squarely.
Hucarsson exposed your defiled ass that u are a rap thief and u come here to spew shit.
The whole of last weekend, we were looking for your ass to do battle but apparently your mom's on her menstrual period so your dad had to get in your arse for anutha 5 days.
How the Bleep am i responsible for your absence when we was supposed to be battling?
Negro . . . . . . . .Go home or Daddy will be seriously mad at cha.


@ J-K
Where is the PRINGLES?
Don't tell me u are that broke . . . . . . .Hand me the pringles now!!!!

This is one of the diadvantages of internet kizzack

Somebody please get SMEAGOL off ma back.
He's been having persistent erections for me since the start of this month.
SMEAGOL, i aint GAY like your Daddy. Try harder or consult MUKS to give u a list of all the gays on Nairaland so u can get jiggy with them.
Leave me the Bleep alone and go and ply your Oshodi raps elsewhere.
You are too minute for me to battle with.
Ma advice: Buy a mic and battle with your biological father not your foster Daddy.


@ Razorr,
So what are u on about then? I really dunno.
Anyways, so u have forgotten about the cheddarz that quickly. Does it mean i should keep the money?
Babes, u must be RICH.
Meanwhile . . . . . . .Whuts cracking?

@ Razorr,

I surrender . . . .As a matter of fact, i am handing over ma robe to u.
U can preside on the case. Lemme resign.
Dont expose ma ass on this forum. If i get sacked then u wlda forfeited ma pension and retirement benefits.
Gimme your account number again . . . . .Lemme wire the dough straight up.
I am loyal to your government . . .Erm, erm i wont say shyte again about cha.

@ Somze,

Go back to your dad and admit u can't rap.
I don't join issues with nicompoops.
You are flat, watery and your general knowledge of the art is ZILCH.
Where the heck were u in the last 14 days i knocked u out? Helping your dad pluck cocoa in a plantation?
I am sorry for y'all future.
Sorry mate . . . . . .I aint doing shyte on your thread.
I am bound to lose street credibility if i am caught doing battles with a lagos tout.


@ Razorr,

Now you're denying it.
I can feen your pain. Loads of Nairaland members now know u pack HEAT.
Anyways, i was appointed the judge of this case and theres nuthing u can do about it.
Make sure u report to your council 1st thang on Monday.
If u get there quick, u might be lucky u get a cleaning job @ the public toilet in Ikeja.
Muks will be painting The Emirates(what a sweet job?)


@ J-K,
Did u say ground-nut?
Now u are taking the piss on me. Do i look like SMEAGOL to ya?
Get me Onion-flavoured PRINGLES and a can of orange Fanta.
Lets exchange seats i am begging u. Someone's sufferinf from Halitosis here and a lot of the people at the back are FARTING.
They musta taken beans or boiled-egg cos the odour oozing outta here is x-tra toxic.
Uurrrrrrrrrmgh. . . . . . .I can tell u the FART has a DNA index matching Razorr's DNA.
Could it be Razorr polluting the air?
Pls gemme outta here . . . . .

Hey Smeagol-Somze,

Take ur rubbish thread outta here.
We are trying to deal with more important issues here.
No one is interested in ur ideas and campaign.
Must i write in ur thread by force?
U are not popular so deal with it.

Oooooooooooh My Dayzzzzzzzzzzzz.
SOMEBODY HELP ME, Razorr has joined the party.
Gosh, we don't want RAZORR here. . . . . .
Oh ma God . . .She's trying to touch me groin.

@ J-K,
Can we exchange seats? Razorr is tormenting me here.
Lest i forget . . . . .Get me anutha handful of pop-corn and a handgun.
I need to poke shots at someone here.

@MUKS,
Good to see ya.
You shouldn't have dumped Dr. Kit just like that.
For your mis-behaviour, this court hereby sentences u to 100 hrs of community service.
Cheating is not allowed in this Nairaland city.

@KITAUN,
It wasn't really your fault u got played.
I want u to always look before u leap the next time. There are so many dangerous chics out there looking for men to devour.
The court sentences u to 24 hrs community service for common assault on MUKS.
Firing abuses to a woman cannot be tolerated in this zone. I hope u have learnt your lessons.

@RAZORR,
The pre-sentence report here says u are the major culprit and u have previous convictions in the past.
You are a major player, an instigator and a sex beast.
Intel says u have slept with 8 chics and 2 guys already on Nairaland and that is appaling.
Keep your legs together and stop polluting our innocent men and women.
For your part in this mayhem, The court sentences u to 500 hrs community service and a fine of 5000 pounds to be paid within 10 working days to me.
Furthermore, i will issue a restraining order of 50 mile-radius away from MUKS, KIT and JEJELOLATU.
If u are seen within 50 mile radius of any of the above mentioned, i shall send u to Nairaland's penitertiary.


Akola, Lordimpaq and Islander . . . . . . .All y'all shall remain in custody until the jury can reach a verdict on ur offences.
Your case has been adjourned till the 1st of August.

This is my judgement . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . .And the court RISES

For Bleep's sake,

How did SMEAGOL(somze) get out to type on NL?
Blimey, its a MIRACLE.

@ Loyika,

Why are u doing this?
Stop aiming punches below our belly.
Veron wasn't a disappointment. He never really stayed to realise his potentials at Man Utd.
What would have happened if Drogba had left Chelsea in the 2nd season? We wld never have known he cld score 33 goals for Chelski.
Anyways, that was yesterday . . . . . .Lets discuss today n tomorrow.

@ Rikkyjen,

They are only having a lover's feud.
From what i was told, Kit was dating Muks and everything was cosy and cheesy.
Then came Razorr who fancies Muks because she(Razorr) is bi-sexual. Muks was on 2 minds whether to dump Dr Kit(her protector) or tag along with Razorr who was splashing expensive PRADA and LOUIS VUITTON handbags and designer shoes to win Muks heart.

As a typical Liberian girl, Muks gave in to Razorr's perks thus leaving Dr Kit devastated.
Dr Kit was ill for months but soon got anutha chic called Jejelolatu. This was where thangs got more interesting. Kit and Jeje were school-mates so the chemistry was an instant thang but Jeje also happens to be one of Razorr's conquests in the past.

Dr Kit found Razorr's txt message on Jeje's phone and HELL was let loose. The Dr will not allow[b] Razorr[/b] to snatch his 2nd love in a space of 3 months. Once bitten, twice AGGRESSIVE. Kit hired a private eye to keep tabs on what was going on and the Private eye happens to be Islander.
Dr Kit went away on a business trip to UAE and Islander's salary became epileptic thus leaking his role to the femme fatales.

Its a very complicated case. Worse than Tevez's and i am yet to get to the bottom of the whole issue.
From what i have seen, i think Razorr is the major culprit and that is why she's instigating an ORGY on Nairaland. Orgy? My Pastor will throw a fit.
Akola, Grizzly and Lordimpaq also have one or 2 roles to play but i am yet to read their dossier on this.

@J-K,
All i can tell u is to fold your hands, sit back and relax and letz see what pans out when i get the 2nd report.
Meanwhile, try n get an extra-large size pop-cprn and a can of coke for me.
Page Loyika as well to come see a classic better than Tarantino's movies.
Happy viewing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@ Loyiks,

Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction are classics.
Those are ma kind of movies but i think Reservoir Dogs is buff.
Tarantino himself acted in this movie known as Mr. Brown and the way they all blasted 'emselves in the end makes it so surreal.
Its a classic.

Harry Potter? Over moi frozen body.
I am done watching and praising wizardry on celluloids. The triology of Lords of the Ring was the bus terminal for me.
Bourne Ultimatum is also out and i shld be watching that in few hours.
Damn. . . . . . The whole place is just boring, no footie actions at all and the Emirates cup seems to be taking 4ever.

Movies?

I am the movie man.
I know everything about movies but whats the point in going to the movies section when Chief Loyiks is right here.
Meanwhile, what's up with ur football manager stuffs? Are u still on top of the league?
Cant really wait for FIFA 08 to come out in august so i can try ma hands on it.
The premiership is taking too long . . . . I wish shyte can start 2day.

@ Kitaun,

I never knew Muks have been throwin' dirts at u ever since.
How the Bleep am i supposed to know u were the one being refer to as Grumpy
Why would anyone say u are grumpy? Are u 50 years old?
Dayyyyyum, anyways, with the power and authority conferred on me, i hereby command u and MUKS to stop this thread beef.
Cant actually believe 2 gooners will fight. Is this what we should expect from Eduardo and Adebayor?
The 2 of u are fuckeries and SCHMUKS.

@ Loyikx,

We all know whenever Rodriguez and Tarantino come together they produce GORE.
Their childhood must have been shyte to actually produce this kinda movies.
Remember Dusk till Dawn and SIN CITY? They are twisted men suffering from MID-LIFE CRISIS.

I love HOSTEL 2 cos it kinda started where the 1st part ended.
Not much blood like the 1st one but it got cheeky.
There was a part a lass yanked off a guy's penis and gave a German Shepherd dog to munch . . . . . . . .Eeeeeeeew.
Bloody hell. . .  . . . .Thats syk.

FORGIVE 'EM FATHER FOR THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY SAY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

@ Kitaun,
U should know better. . . . Coming down here and cussing n fussing with Muks is disgraceful.
Everyone is pleading with all y'all to cease fire.
Dont make this escalate to what both of y'all cannot control.
What do u stand to gain by fighting? Money? Respect or what?
Be a gentleman and squash this shyte.

@ Loyika,


I just know u are going to say my game console is mal-functioning.
Arsenal also looks good with Van Persie pairing with Eduardo but the new signing is not rated at all.
He missed a sitter in my 6-yard box and it was so funny.
Be honest with me . . . . . . .u are kinda jealous, innit?

Anyways, back to other issues.
I think Quentin Tarantino should be banned from making movies.
That dude is so sick its not true . . . . . . . . . .Have u seen HOSTEL 2?
Gossssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssh . . . . . That movie must be the sickest movie ever made.
How it passed the censors board leaves me in disbelief.

Aiiiiight, Aiiiight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KIDS, KIDS, KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What is the meaning of all these public show of shame?
MUKS and DR KIT?
C'mon . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Stop this WAR.

FREEKICK to whoever starts anutha chain of cusses on this thread.
U guys should know better than spewing venom on N/L
If u got problems, take it to YIM and resolve it amicably.
What do u want the newbies of N/L think about all this?

Razorr, Loyika aka Quentin Tarantino, Bagoma and Akola . . . . . .Where are y'all?

@ Darkmanzero,

The blu-ray technology on PS3 alone makes XBOX 360 looks like a toy game.
What are we on about here? PS3 packs heat than any game consoles out there.
The reason why people bash the PS3 is the price-tag but our friend here is not buying it . . . .He is getting it as a gift.
So what would u rather get as a gift?

@ J-K

Please forgive me manners . . . . .
Great minds they say, think alike.
Thats why we support the same club, geddit?

Guess what . . . . . . . . .
I couldn't wait for the Premiership to kick-off so i made a simple experiment .
Got my PES 6 and i transfered TEVEZ from West Ham United to Man Utd.
Changed United's formation from the normal 4-4-2 to 4-3-3 and i had Ronaldo Tevez and Rooney upfront.
The midfield had Scholes, Owen and Carrick and the defence was Neville, Rio, Vidic and Evra.
Ohhhhh ma dayzzzz. . . . . . . . .The teams i used to wallop 3-0 before turned to 7-0.

So i played against Arsenal, Chelsea and Liverpool respectively.
Liverpool was despatched nicely with 6-0. (Tevez scored 4)
Chelsea was harder to beat but i still managed 5-2(before, it used to be 2-1, 3-2, 1-1)
Arsenal proved most difficult to beat but i still managed to whack 'em 1-0, 2-0  and 4-1 in 3 successive matches.
Tevez will def'ly blaze it at Man Utd if what i saw on PES 6 on PS2 is anything to go by.

Loyika, are u listening?

@ Loyiks the analyst,

All those talks are balderdash.
Ferguson having selection problems? Yea right.
Fergie will stick to his winning team like he did for most parts of the last season.
He dropped Heinze, Silvestre, Fletcher, JS Park, O'Shea etc and was quick to partner Rio and Vidic in the heart of the defence.
Ferguson wont be bullied into playing any fringe player unless any of the members of the 1st team gets injured.

Gary Neville even had to sit on the bench after he had a spat with Fergie during the Lille match.
That is what Ferguson is known for. No brand player is bigger than his team.
Stam, RVN, Beckham and Yorke will also testify to this. It's Fergie's way or the Motorway.
A lot of players would have learnt from this so i dont really see any problem in that aspect.
Man Utd aint Chelsea where the signings of Shevchenko and Ballack caused ruckus to the team spirit.
Mourinho was quick to say he didnt sign the players when it was obvious they were under-performing.
Ferguson signs his players without the interference of the Glazers so he is prepared to bear the brunt if shit hits the fan.

The only problem United have is we dont have a PROBLEM. Geddit?

@ debosky,
Wazza will play few games and dry up, innit?
That is why we have enough cover in case Rooney needs a breather.
Saha, Smith, Rossi, Solskjaer, Tevez can all deputise for Wazza.
The same Rooney dried up last season and still managed to score 23 goals.
How many goals will he score if he just manages not to DRY up? I wld say 40.

Check this . . . . .
If Van Persie gets injured or gets nicked for Rape(as usual), who would cover for him?
Adebayor? Y'all are having a laugh.
Baptista? I'd rather have Yekini or Siasia.
Eduardo? Jury is out on him.
Walcott? Try Bala Ezekiel or Ideye.

@ Loyika,
What Rooney has done in 5 years has nothing to do with this.
Wazza will be full of Champions swagger . . . . . I am invincible so i can take 5 defenders and score.
Afterall, the Drogba we all condemned turned the screw tight and banged in a staggering 33 goals in one single season.
His previous goals record was so appalling, Lampard as a midfielder is better than Drogba.
Ronaldo also doubled his normal goal tally last season and who woulda predicted he would have gotten 17 league goals? I wldn't!!!!!!!!!

SAF is waiting for Tevez's deal to go through before deciding on Smithy and Rossi.
I would have loved Rossi to stay. What a promising player?
Why is Fergie hanging on to Saha, Solskjaer and Smith? I really cannot work it out in me head.
Rossi is young and he has about 10 more years to give at top flight football so why sell him?

Ronaldo is relentless.
More tricks and flicks. Renewed confidence and a deadly partnership with Wazza.
How i wish u saw this match. United scored 3 goals in about 21 minutes and sealed the opponent's fate.
The combo Rooney and Ronaldo had reminds me of Shevchenko and Rebrov in the late 90s.
Please get this Premiership started . . . . . . . . . .It's about time we kick some asses in West London.
Something tells me the title is not coming back to London in the next 2 years.


@ Loyika,
Don't worry. Save ur breath.
Let FIFA deal with this Tevez case ASAP so i can really assess what we got at OT.
The only department i worry about is the plonker manning the posts . . . . . . .Edwin Van Der Sar.
Ben Foster's injury means we are barely covered in goal but the defence, midfield and attack are steaming like a styrofoam cup of hot cappuccino.
Write off United at ur own peril this time around.

What cha think?

Thats a typographical error.
How can u hang on to that?
I am ashamed of ya.

@ Razorr,

.
Thanks for the compliement.
Tha honour is MINE!!!!!!!!!!

@ J-K

Ronaldo is really on FIRE.
I'm now convinced SAF will have to shave his hair at the end of the season.
Rooney and Ronaldo simply destroyed the Korean dudes.
Ohhh ma God. . . . . . .u need to see Ronaldo's 1st goal.
It was an audacious pass from Wazza with Ronaldo unleashing a low shot.

How ferocious will this attack be when Tevez joins? I really dunno.
SAF must be stopped from signing Tevez.
This tactician is trying to build a monstrous attack that will demolish all other teams in the Premiership.
U can expect cricket score when we take lil teams like Chelsea and Liverpool next season.
Phewwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!! RONALDO is BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!

@ Razorr,

Stop displaying your ignorance on a public forum!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kroenke's bid to takeover the Emirates does not mean he must outrightly buy the whole ARSENAL FC.
If he can buy just 51% of the shares, he can automatically take over the club.
He doesn't even need to pay for the 51% outrightly. He must pay it instalmentally so it is a wise move as long as Arsenal wins trophies.
With club's success, demands for merchandises will rise and several deals with sponspors will sky-rocket thus boosting revenue.
The 60,000 capacity stadium is another massive boost for income and in no time, they will break even and make profits.


The Nigerian mentality of buying outrightly seems to becloud your senses.
So u think the Glazers have bought all the shares at Man Utd? Nah. They have only bought the majority of the shares and they are still paying in batches.
No one pays outrightly for stuffs in the Western world. Only the Dangotes and the Abachas belong to this elite class of buying stakes outrightly BUT they evade taxes.

Roman bought 51% stake in Chelsea for 30 million pounds plus he inherited 100 million pounds debt making the deal worth about 140 million pounds.
Abrahamovic's takeover didn't mean the club's reported £100m simply disappears overnight, but it instilled confidence that payments can be met.
The majority of the debt is due to be repaid within the next five years and the club took steps to ensure that £18m be put aside every year until 2007 over and above their annual operating costs.

Tevez will serve as a spare tyre.
We won the Premiership without erm, erm, Tevez last season so we can do without him.
So deal with it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@ Dayokanu,

United fell apart in that game because Roy Keane and Paul Scholes did not feature.
Its like Chelsea missing Lampard and Essien in a crucial match.
Sheringham and Solskjaer only scored . . . . . .They had no bearing or stamping any authority in the match.
As a matter of fact, the only thing i remembered Ole doing in that match was that goal. Apart from that Zilch.
Beckham's contribution in that match to me was immense and very valuable.
David Beckham is the only Englishman to have scored a goal in 3 successive world cup tournaments. Deal with it!!!!!!!!!!


@ Banderas,

Unfortunately for Pele, there were no awards like that in his days. Big deal!!!!!!!
Football in the times of Pele were easier.
No defensive schemes. No ambiguous offside rules and goals were relatively easier to score in those days than now.
As football developed, managers and players began to devise and strategise on how to lock defenses up so it gets harder to score.
In 'em days of Pele there was nothing like that. The traditional formation was 2-3-5.
2 full backs, 3 midfielders and 5 attackers(2 wingers and 3 strikers)
In the days of Pele, Yisa Sofoluwe and Bright Omokaro never leaves the 18-yard box to protect Rufai's goal.
A defender has no business bombing forward to join the attackers.



These days its 4-3-3 or 4-4-2 or even 4-5-1
The whole game dynamics have changed. It is common to see Ashley Cole and Gary Neville bombing forward to join the attack.
Keeping the line and catching players offside. Different defensive strategies to make life harder for strikers and attackers.
Pele would have been an ordinary player like Craig Bellamy or Juninho of Lyon if he had been born in this generation.
Lets look at it, Pele has no pace. He can only dribble, create goals with crisp passes and score free-kicks.
Technically, he is not as skilful or gifted like Ronaldinho or J-J Okocha.
It got so bad that FIFA had to modify some laws to favour strikers so more goals will be scored.
Pele in this generation will be seized by the John Terrys, The Sammers and The Ben Irohas of our time.
Dont even compare 'em days to these days.

Beckham's contributions for Man Utd at his peak cannot be compared to anyone's in the next 30 generations.
David Beckham's 2 extratime corner-kicks against DAYOKANU'S Bayern Munich gave United the Champions league title.
Beckham's numerous assists made Andy Cole and Dwight Yorke the best strike partners in the whole Europe.
This duo are only equalled by Shevchenko and Rebrov in that generation so lets give him the credits.
Can i simply add that Beckham contributions ensured United's treble in 1999, something Steven Gerrard or any player in this generation might NEVER win?

Granted, Pele won more world cups.
Let it be known that Ronaldo would have also won 3 world cups if he was fit for the France 98 finals.
By a stroke of fate, his illness gifted France the world cup and the issue still generates controversy in Brazil.
Ronaldo has won a lot for club and country. Scored a staggering 47 league goals in 49 games for Barcelona in 1996/97 season.
Won the FIFA player of the year at the tender age of 20.
He has scored a total of 62 goals in 97 games for Brazil.
Won the Confed cup, Copa America, La Liga titles, 3 times World player of the year.

Lets address this issue objectively.

There are now 2 generations of managers.
We have the old and the new. The 2 should not be joined 2gether in any way.

Ferguson, Wenger, Capello,Hitzfield, Sir Bobby Robson, Zagallo, Del Bosque, Lippi and Ancellotti all belong to the old generation of football managers.
Mourinho, Frank Rijkaard, Guus Hiddink, Benitez, Hector Cuper, Claudio Ranieri and Louis Van Gaal etc are the new generations.

Under no circumstances should the 2 generations be mentioned in the same breath.
Someone said give Mourinho 21 years @ Chelsea and he wld win more than Ferguson. It is the most laughable statement i have ever heard.
No manager can enjoy such domination in any club in the modern day football. The expectation and demands is much higher than it was in the days of Ferguson. Mourinho only came 2nd in the league and nearly lost his job while Ferguson is UNSACKABLE.
Thats the difference between the 2 generations and prolly reasons why Jose calls Ferguson the manager's MANAGER.

It will be more appropriate if we debate on who is better intra-generational.
Comparing INTER-GENERATIONAL will be suicidal.
Do we want to start comparing Mourinho to Capello or Rafa to Del Bosque?
Capello was managing teams when Jose was still wearing diapers on the streets of Madeira or the Al Garves.

When i become the manager of Chelsea next summer i will field them.
What i am saying is, it is feasible to have that kind of team and still have a decent strong side.
The only team in the Premiership that cannot even name 3 English players is ARSENAL and that is why they now under-perform.
There's no true ENGLISH spirit in the gooners team.

Arsenal lacks what:
The Determination and Power JOHN TERRY gives CHELSEA
The Nerves and Courage STEVIE GERRARD gives LIVERPOOL.
The Drive and Ambition WAYNE ROONEY and PAUL SCHOLES give MAN UNITED and until they address this issue, there's no light at the end of the tunnel for the gunners.

Thank u very much Mr Antonio Banderas.

Luiz Ronaldo as a footballer has won nearly everything.
Winning everything sometimes as a player means just being a squad player like Wright-Phillips of Chelsea but LUIZ RONALDO has won these laurels and accolades because he has been a performer week in week out in any team he has played for.
His goal tally speaks for itself. He is known as the phenomenom.
He has scored 15 goals in 19 world cup games becoming the all time top goal scorer.
Need i say more?


Gerrard might have out-performed Beckham in the individual awards kizzack but Beckham out-classes Gerrard if u look at it overall.
Beckham sometimes gets on the news for the wrong reasons but whenever u see Gerrard on the news,its always about football.
At the end of the day, the 2 guys here are English so why is Beckham a brand name and people dont even know who Gerrard is in some parts of the world.
Beckham took his game to Spain and still won La Liga title plus the several Premiership titles he won in England but Gerrard is yet to win a league title.
Did u hear that? Lemme say it again, Gerrard is yet to win a league title----------That is enough to discredit Gerrard in the English hall of fame.
What title has Gerrard won that Beckham hasn't won? ZILCH.
What has Beckham won that Gerrard hasn't won? Premiership and La Liga.
Have i answered ur query?