₦airaland Forum

Kimjongun:
God should just have mercy on every innocent people getting into a relationship with a clean heart, the marriage have not started but the guy's life and future is scattering already.

The problem here is if op said no and avoid her, she will still look for another guy to cheat with, and it is a lie that the guy irritates her.

Whether the guy she's getting married to irritates her or not, she's just indirectly told the OP that she would love them to continue gbenshing after the marriage. Most people here are blaming the Op and telling him to move on, but in reality it's the lady that should move on because if the OP na person wey no get conscience e go continue to dey gbensh her freely. Na like this paternity fraud dey start o! Some men dey marry nonsense sha!

JaneYave:
Things that make me smile unconsciously Why do people believe obvious lies? Move on or should we push you?

The problem is not with him but with the girl about to get married. If he has no conscience he could keep gbenshing her and he would succeed very well. Some girls no get get shame at all! Na the man wey dey go carry the responsibility of a possible cheater I sorry for.

diamondedu:
Hmmmm.. good day please how best do I handle this situation?

My ex, although we did not officially seperate, is getting married by the end of the month but she doesn't love her husband to be. She finds his touch irritating, they hardly talk about everything that married people do, she's not just comfortable with the husband to be.

Now me and her were very good friends before we become lovers she's really a good girl, very supportive, infact every man's dream lady but I'm not yet ready to settle down. Family issues still full my head..

PLS married people how best do I avoid her before it becomes problem for her and the innocent man?

You people should stop insulting the OP. Men should read his story and be wise! Don't ever marry or get serious with any lady that hasn't shown to you that she's crazy about you and also contributing something tangible to your life so as to avoid something like this. How can a woman say she hates the touch of the person she's about to risk the rest of her life with? That girl must be a compound fool! The only misyarn of the OP I saw is calling a compound fool a good girl. If person do watin she dey do to her husband to be to you, you go like am? Make all of una borrow small sense jare!

Paperworka:
I wish we can storm ASOROCK like this

No think am o! Unless u don already sign your death warrant!

Sonnobax15:



Trump has once again proved how dumb he's by allowing his supporters to show-case the zombie-ism in them.
Not only has he successfully over-thrown the average Nigerian president in terms of corruption but has also shown the rest of the world how he had successfully led the U.S towards backwardness.

No politician in the world can overthrow Nigerian politicians in terms of corruption. That word wey you say trump don overthrow Nigerian president in terms of corruption na big lie.

Sabadon:
You see...both Africa or America abi Europe, politics has similar blue print

They are not similar o! Their leaders get their people and country at heart, unlike here in Africa where the leaders hate the people and the country. If na Nigeria this kind thing dey happen you for don hear say military don go massacre everybody wey go there. Na bullets for dey fly for everywhere. Our leaders na d true definition of evil!

We keep paying for our hard earned money for darkness. What would it cost the federal government to compel the DISCOS to meter about 90 percent of their customers before enforcing such unnecessary increase? We hardly have power up to 10 times in a month in my area but our tariffs keep increasing. Since this year started we'be not had power, but tariff is being increased, watin we do Nigeria? Na crime for person to be Nigerian? May God save us from the evil and heartless people we have as leaders!

If the guy was a Nigerian they would have said he died of Covid-19. In Nigeria, every death now is being attributed to covid-19. I fear who no fear nigerian government. Covid-19 is real we all know, but the government is making it look like a scam.

Bola146:
Its means you don't love her Three years?!! better you let her know her fate.

There's nothing like love, just interest.
Mr. Man, don't let anyone blackmail you with love. The society you're in is one where everything is skewed to favor women, so you have to analyse the pros and cons of marrying her and taking her over there and let whatever decision you take be solely yours. So that should she turn against you tomorrow and take advantage of their skewed laws over there to hijack everything you've laboured for, you'll have only yourself to blame. Don't fall for all these if you love her talk, love na mirage.

Theboss100:
Is just a pointer that Buhari is no more. The Buhari I know can't shy away from public event. With this insecurities everywhere, he would shuffle his service chiefs.
The presidency of which I am hearing for the first time, won't allow the impostor to say something that will reveal there evil acts. To be honest, Osibanjo would have been president 2yrs ago if the Fulani came clean about the death of Buhari.
Let them do as the which. Power is not permanent.

I believe osibanjo is also aware of whatever is going on, but the man is helpless. What a country we're in!

Esseite:
Aisha is leaving all the clues...you dont expect her to come out outright..

Which first lady throws away all the accolades of being a first lady beside her husband while relocating to Dubai..

Just thinking out loud.

It's very obvious, but no Nigerian/top politician is bold enough to say it. Even our vp dare not say it. That's one of the reasons why the failed service chiefs are being kept. Naija I hail thee!

Uyi213:
Good evening Nairaland Family. I want to go straight to the point as I am dying inside. For purpose of clarity I will address my ex as Lady A and my current girl as Lady B

Lady A

I have been paying her school fees since 2018 which amounted to more than 200K. I sent her mom 100k when she was stranded in Abuja. Amongst phones, laptops, bags, clothes I have bought for my ex. My ex I know has been sleeping with numerous men around Lagos. In fact this year alone, she slept with 18 guys of which I have 7 of the guys contacts. She does party in hotels around mushin and it’s environs. Her mother is married to the 3rd husband with different children.

My ex gf whom I did her introduction in November left me after I discovered she slept with my cousin two days after the introduction. They exchanged contacts at the introduction and were hooking up behind my back. He sent her money to meet him in a hotel and the rest was history. The mother fought me at the introduction because she thought I shoved her brother in law and really fought me like a thug. Please note that they all grow in Mushin. My ex has a past of which she went with a school friend Of hers to a guy place, left the friend there and the poor girl was raped by 3 of them. And it was learnt she arranged it. Please note I didn’t know all of this she hid it from me but her infidelity is what I know and I thought I could cope till she slept with my cousin and took my 600k at home and some of my valuables

Lady B.

Now I have moved on and am dating her friend whom I find so so cool and she is a independent lady and she also schools. I am totally in love with Lady B. My ex found out and started spreading lies on the poor girl Through their school group chat that she snatched her financee And a whole lot of trash. Lady B is strong but I don’t know for how long.

This is where I need you all advice. I was told to involve the police as my ex is a cultist and smokes. This are things I don’t even know throughout the two years we dated. I don’t want anything to happen to my new girl. I really love her and it hurts me to see that a good girl is slipping from Me. Lady B is everything I want. My family approves of her. My mum who didn’t speak to me in couple of years reached out since I started dating Lady B. I have been so so happy anytime I think of her.


I will be in the comment section

With all these things you wrote up there, are you trying to paint your ex bad or you're trying to expose your stupidity? So you're telling us that you went to do intro for a girl that was a free giver in the street? Mehn, stupid guys plenty for naija o! And the funny thing be say them go come here begin they form don for woman mattter. I believe say na guys like you naim patoranking observe wey make am sing that ...omo see broda...broda wey...
Abeg, make una dey small small dey bring una mumu acts online.

olymyk:
Seriously I tried to see what’s photoshop in this pix earlier but couldn’t figure it out

Over sabi dey worry Nigerians

The blue mark shows a guy in bracelet on his legs and the glasses behind the suspects reflect people and a police man

It’s shows that’s a law enforcement environment

u still be novice for Photoshop matter. police wey take d picture don tell u say dey took dem separately and doctor to make d story clearer and u still dey defend Dem even after dem don tell u say Dem Photoshop am. hmm...ur own strong o!

LegendHero:
Nigerians on social media these days suffer from some form of Herd mentality.

Even if you have dissenting opinion, they will quickly shut you up and proceed to believe what they want to believe.

What will be the Police benefit by photoshopping unknown criminals in the first place?

I now know that almost 15-30% of the news we have been reading on social media are actually fake.

If you hear a news today, the next day they will debunk it. I only wait for the next day before believing any news in Nigeria.

which herd mentality? even d police acknowledged that d pictures were taken separately and merged into one scene(photoshoped) which d people complained about. So in a way, d Police are d ones that made the news questionable. why doctor it?

MrColdsweat:
Sometimes you don't blame people who chose to suffer because of sentiments. I perfectly understand them.

My mother lost her parents when she was a child. She endured a very terrible marriage because she didn't want her children to suffer a fraction of what she suffered.

Me as a man, I grew up without my father's love even though he was in my presence all the while. Infact, I lived all my life like I never had a father, And I've sworn that I'll love my sons 1000% even if they're criminals.

You don't blame people for making such promises and living through them. You don't understand their experiences. They alone, know what they suffered.

Having negative experiences shouldn't be an excuse for being extremely stupid. The OP's case is one of extreme stupidity. How can one keeps living with an enemy in the name of marriage? He could take care of his kids very well without continuing with that ungrateful, spoilt, mannerless and rudderless woman he calls his wife.

The guy should borrow sense now and dissociate from that woman and her family completely before they put him into what he can never recover from. Leave that woman before it's too late. You don't have to be with her before you can give your kids the best in life. Be wise Mr. Man and stop being stupid!

Sorry I called you stupid, I don't usually talk like this but your story just keeps making me wonder why someone will just open his korokoro eyes and keeps walking into fire. It's really very strange! Pls, now wey u still get legs to run away from her, start running now before it's too late for you.

juman:
Only in america a character like trump could became president.
A character like him cannot be president in any sensible country around the world.

A 'character like trump'? Seems you've forgotten that trump is a billion times better than buhari. And I believe you're among those that voted in 'a character like buhari' in Nigeria and you're here badmouthing 'a character like trump' that's much better than 'a character like buhari.' hmm, Nigerians I hail! We always dey fast-forward to wan comot sand from anoda person eye when big stick dey our own eyes!

sirjamesjnr:
So I have this conversation with some group of like minds and these are what I could get from our discussion:
On the negative side;
1.Abuse and manipulation
2.Disrespect and devaluation
3.Constant complaints and criticism
4.Feelings of perpetual inadequacy and failure to meet unrealistic expectations (I deal with that enough at work; I don’t want it at home)
5.Being ignored
6.Being cheated on
7.Being lied to about her level of sexual involvement with others (not in the sense of cheating, but potential exposure to STDs)
8.Being unloved, uncared about, and taken for granted
9.Not being allowed to make mistakes
10.Not being allowed to have my hobbies
11. Being treated like a piece of meat
12. Being expected to put up with his/her endless bullshit (which is usually deal-breaker stuff) while simultaneously not being allowed to be human myself
13. Being subjected to skewed perceptions of reality and overreacting to stupid shit
14.constantly wondering when he/she’s going to dump me for reasons that are unknown to me
15. Trying to change or “fix” me
On the positive side:
1.Career- To achieve stability most people opt for an academic path with lasts till the mid-20s sometimes even till the late 20s. Post that, once they get that lucrative job/onsite opportunity they aspired for, they delay marriage. Marriage is considered a potential hindrance to professional success by many people.
2.Space- Everyone seeks independence, especially millennials. Long term relationship requires sharing of this space which people don't like
People are warier and warier of :

3.Compromises- Marriage, by definition, is living with another person. This is bound to require adjustment which isn't easy

4.Commitment - This freaks youngsters today. When you're dating in college, commitment comes easy. But marriage brings along a different set of responsibilities which need a commitment of the highest order

5.The process of arranged marriage- This is a makes to the list purely because it shrouds the sanctity of marriage. Girls seeking millionaires and guys seeking miss universes just disturbs the definition and sanctity of the institution

6.With the advent of feminism, women are more self-reliant than they have ever been. Therefore they too don't seek a partner for financial independence and postpone relationships.

Mine: Career and schooling. My girl still has her masters to deal with.
So ladies and gentlemen, why you are single?
How can we close the circle?

What's the definition of decency? And who told you wayward people are getting married more than decent people? Una no go kill person with all these una false narratives wey una dey push.

GreatResearcher:
I'm not supporting assault but the lady got what she deserved. Watch the video very well you will see that the lady deliberately wanted the soldier to beat her so she can post it on the internet and trend. Even when people begged her to leave she thrown herself on the soldier.

Modified:
Whenever you see a soldier or officer in military uniform, it's most likely that he or she is on official duty.
These men while on duty try to steal a little time from their busy schedule to attend to their personal needs.

That is why most of them when the go to ATM stand they try to beat the queue because of their limited time.

This soldier went to the ATM stand as you can see his dressing. There's 90% possibility that he is on duty.

He tried to beat the queue. Instead of the lady to speak to him politely she started with insults.

Was the lady the only person at that ATM?

The soldier annoyance was she bringing out her phone to record the soldier.

That was when the soldier puts his wallet in his pocket and brought out his belt.

He didn't even beat her o.

She wanna trend that's all.

how you dey think sef? So because na soldier he be, he dey too big to plead with the lady to allow him that he's on duty en? D soldier man is a bully and he did what he did because of the uniform he was wearing because he knew he would get away with it. Tell me say if na civilian e be or e no wear dat uniform e no go beg d lady to allow him if he truly dey in a hurry.
I just can't believe you're blaming the victim. I know say if na you be that soldier man you go even do worse to her. How dare her question a bully on Nigerian army uniform that is trying to jump queue? Pple like you na part of the reason why police and army brutality against innocent civilians no go stop for this country.

Emir8:
Hello Nairalander,
I really need advice concerning making a choice between the two jobs before me. My family members are divided over which job I should choose.

I'm working in a highbrow secondary school and my start up salary was N75,000. After three years, my salary is now N96,000.00. I just got a lecturing job with a private university and my gross salary according to the appointment letter is N88,000.00. My father wants me to continue with my teaching in the secondary school but my mother and fiancee are pressuring me to write acceptance letter to the university and accept the offer. There's no time, both the university and the secondary school will be resuming on 12/10/2020 and I have to make a choice between now and Thursday. My fiancee is already calling herself "wife of a lecturer" and threatening that she will quit the relationship if I did not accept the university offer. My mind is in the secondary school because there is free lunch and N150,000.00 housing allowance per year, but the university doesn't give lunch and housing allowance.

Should I go and become Mr. Lecturer and sacrifice my secondary school benefits?

To be sincere lecturing job has more long term benefits than secondary school teaching job regardless of how high thew salary of the secondary school may be. You have great opportunity to grow and advance your teaching career with the lecturing job than than the secondary school job. If I was in your shoes I would gladly accept the lecturing job and scale up gradually from three.
Though if you must accept the lecturing job let it be because you really want to do it and you see a future in it. Your girlfriend threat is just a childish talk; don't allow her threat influence your decision. Let the decision come from your heart so tomorrow you won't have anyone to blame should it not go as you expected.

soberdrunk:
So Tubaba can still collect money from Buhari government and perform........

Why won't he collect, when what he's collecting is for a service? Una just dey wan blame the wrong people sometimes. Tuface is not responsible for nigeria's numerous problems in any way, he's just a normal Nigerian that struggled by himself to make a way for himself. So don't blame him for collecting his dues for a service rendered.

molbic:
CHAii all these ones are sellouts cause Nigeria got nothing to celebrate about,. Instead they should be the Ones Leading Today's protest But just like our politicians they're comfortable the way our Corntree is

They are sell out in what way? Why should they care about leading any protest when they're living well? If tuface call for protest, you go come out? Abeg leave them make them dey enjoy their lives dey go jare! No be dem say make we vote for the crop of politicians wey we get. That one na our cross.
Poor people wey things hard for neva fit mobilize themselves for protest, you dey blame rich man for not mobilizing poor people for protest. Abi if dss go harrass dem, you go come out? You funny o!

If not that our political leaders are highly irresponsible, why should another country's restriction of your people (politicians ) from coming to his country be a problem? If I don't want you to come to my house, I'm indirectly telling you to fix your house, make it comfortable for you and stay in it. But our leaders are so wicked and clueless that they want to force themselves into another man's house when they have what it takes to fix their house. Very wicked set of leaders we have in this part of the world.

IamHeWrites:
US Moves To Restrict Nigerian Students To Two-Year Courses Over ‘National Security’



https://www.thecable.ng/nigerians-to-be-affected-as-us-moves-to-ban-4-year-student-visa-for-some-countries

This is nice. Everybody should go and develop their countries and study there. If all countries can ban Nigerians from studying in their countries maybe it will compel our wicked and highly unpatriotic leaders to fix our higher institutions since they'll have no place to send their children to for higher learning.

We praise mediocrity too much in this country no wonder our politicians are the way they are.

I have come to realize that Nigeria will never change or get better not because of our wicked, evil and unpatriotic politicians, but because of Nigerians. Do you why?

It's simply because Nigerians have gotten used to oppression and they have accepted it as normal thing. A people that cannot speak up against oppression can never rise up against it and seek freedom. Most of us think nigerians (you and me) are scared that's why our oppressors keep having a field day, but I don't think that is totally true.

Nigerians are some of the most daring people in the world but our acceptance of oppression is why Nigeria is the way it is. Let me tell you about something that happened today that confirmed my conviction of nigerians' acceptance of oppression and Nigeria not ever rising until Nigerians are willing to fight oppression in whatever form it's dished to us.

PHCN disconnected our light over a month ago because of the overly high estimated bills they gave to us that we couldn't pay on time. The present economic challenges in the country contributed to why some people in the compound couldn't pay their share of the bill before their usual disconnection day and they disconnected us.

For over a month we didn't use electricity and the phcn guys were aware of this because they were the ones that disconnected us from the supply. This month, yesterday 15th September, we were able to gather the money for the bill of July that resulted to the disconnection, we went to pay and they came to reconnect us to the supply. But after the reconnection they gave us the bill for the month of August. It was over 30k and we didn't use light for the month of August.

They told us that if we don't come to pay up the bill for August in a week's time that they'll come and disconnect us again. I wasn't around when they came to reconnect us and dropped the new bill for a month we never had electricity as a result of their disconnection.

I was told about the new bill this morning and the amount each of us is expected to pay. It's just a small room and parlour self-contain compound with about 8 families. The only heavy power consuming equipment in the compound is just our water pumping machine.

Here's where the problem lies. I told them that phcn (BEDC) are not suppose to bill us for a month that we didn't use power, that we should go to them and ask them where the bill came from since they were the ones that disconnected us.

Guess what happened? People in the compound started saying: that's how it is, whether you use light or not they will always bill you, in our working place this has also happened and my boss paid, even when our transformer was bad for over 6 months they still billed us for the period there was no power after we've paid our own money to repair the transformer, even if we go and meet them they still won't do anything, etc.

Oh my god! Could you believe even people that delayed us from paying our bill on time the month they disconnected us and it's still obvious they may not be able to pay this one on time too were also giving excuses for the day light robbery?

When I saw the way they've all accepted the situation helplessly I just held my peace.
This simple incidence just made me understand that Nigeria can never be delivered from the hands of anyone exploiting us because we (Nigerians) have accepted oppression and exploitation as a normal thing.

From the behaviour of these phcn guys mostly bedc, it is obvious that:

We will keep paying for darkness because it's profitable to them.

They will never give their customers prepaid meters. In fact, they will always sabotage any plan that will compel
them to meter all their customers.

NERC is just a toothless bulldog that is benefiting from the system and wants the status quo to remain.

Everyone will pay the new tariff increase whether you have power or not. We hardly have power for up to 9 hours
in a day, that's when they decide to give us power and we'be already been given notice of tariff increase.

Estimated billing will never and can never cease unless prepaid meter is given

Nigeria's hope of developing is very slim, etc.

If the people can't speak up and rise up against evil, evil we continue to have the upper hand. I just hope that someday we all are gonna wake up from our slumber because the exploitation has really gotten out of hand.

Were phch right to have given us electricity bill for a period in which they are the ones that disconnected us?

How can someone address such issue of being billed when you never used what you're being billed for?

Skynet45:
Even though a lot of pastors are just Yahoo boys in disguise stealing from the gullible masses, this insult chai

If you know the number of people some churches are supporting and students they are sponsoring without making noise about it, you won't be saying this trash. Governments are embezzling our taxes everyday and common wealth yet none of us have been able to come out to speak up against it, but for church matter, all of una go open mouth start to dey yarn trash. Has any pastor scammed you before? Na d pastors wey dey give freeze unnecessary publicity naim dey vex me sef, no be d dust wey your likes dey yarn!

Who say APC no wise? Who say Buhari no wise? They want to do anything possible to avert investigation and possible prosecution when they leave office. These guys are really genius in destroying Nigeria. They've brought every crawling system they met to a complete standstill and cementing it so that such system can never move again. Kudos to them for the destruction of Nigeria! APC!!! ... everybody halla... CHAIN!!!
EFCC wey no dey try before don finally die. Sad!

hopefulLandlord:
Kenneth Copeland said he bought private jets from church money because commercial flights harbour demons. Makes you wonder why a strong "man of God" is avoiding demons, shouldn't he go after these demons instead?

Jesse Duplantis, who at the time had 2 private jets already, said God wanted him to buy a better jet, why? because the new jet he'd buy can go to any airport in the world without needing to refuel.

The part of their excuse for owning fleets of jets is that it's used to "Spread the word of God" but this doesn't make sense in today's world as airline companies have been terribly hit by the explosion of the internet. in short airlines made money in the past because interacting with people halfway across the world required you to be there or send letters Which doesn't usually cut it. now you can open your WhatsApp and video chat with almost anyone, you can send a message and it's instantly delivered. This has made airlines lose money so you don't need a jet to spread the word.

At the end of the day, it's their money they got from gullible individuals who can't sit to reason beyond what the pastor says and try to reconcile it with what they do. A lord's chosen pastor tells you to buy his expensive reflective jackets and wear them for both spiritual and physical protection and you believe him even though he uses bodyguards

Oyedepo would preach faith healing to you but won't hesitate to fly his wife to world class hospital aboroad when she was sick

when they need material things they would ask you to donate but when you need material things they would direct you to "God"


the bitter truth is that Religious belief is an invisible security blanket for insecure individuals.
Closeted minds will continue to allow brainwashing and indoctrination by religious leaders that there is a 'god', and there was a 'jesus', in order that the people with closed minds allow themselves to be controlled so that the various Corporations (churches) remain profitable as the tax-free money continues to roll in. people center their lives around a fairy-tale. All that time, energy and money centered on a lie. For some it's a business, for others it is the central cause of division within their family. Religion sucks. All of them.

Our senators and the executive budget money for new cars, kitchen appliances, computers and many meaningless stuffs every year, you don fit go tell dem say make them stop to dey waste tax payer's money on things they already have? But as na church matter now u create long epistle on top matter wey no suppose be your problem. This country en, we really still get long way to go! When we suppose talk we go all form deaf and dumb and when d matter no consign us we go start to dey yarn dust. E clear say church matter dey really give some of una heart attack no wonder your likes are hailing Buhari for the nonsense CAMA that's targeted at the church.

IKBARUTEN11:
Church is strictly biz in naija
D C. E. O's of these churches acquired ttheir expensive lifestyles at d detriments of d poor ones
Wat an irony

This your comment reeks of extreme ignorance. If you know the number of people some churches are supporting you won't be saying this rubbish. All some of you know how to do very well is to bad-mouth churches. Government that is collecting endless compulsory taxes from us, we get scared to talk about them, but when it's church matter all of us go balance, carry am for head like person wey dey sell gala.
You may not have felt the economic impart of a church in your life, that is if you belong to one, but there people feeling it and they're thankful for it. Stop bad-mouthing churches because there's no gain in it.

RichDad1:
Foolish man from a foolish party.
Throughout his party’s 16 years misrule with huge crude oil earnings and foreign loans, what infrastructural developments can they boast of that can rival what Amechi has achieved in under 5 years with lesser revenues?

Modify:
I can see a lot of you perpetual wailers are pained with my comment. Una never see chumchin.
This administration will continue to build massive infrastructures and name it after your useless party leaders to shame them.
Bunch of never do goods that are hell bent on dragging the country backwards with their unusual “share the money” governance style.
Imagine how many trains the $2.1b Dansuki loot would have gotten us? Indi ara
By now y’all should know there’s a new sheriff in town. Get used to it!

This is not about pdp or apc. This is about nigeria - you and me. So signing off nigeria's sovereignty is commendable en? With people like this Nigeria has no hope. What amaechi did is nothing but treason and demands the death penalty. You took a foreign loan without the approval of the law makers and signed off the country in the process. In Saner climes both buhari and amaechi are supposed to be in prison by now. It's time we stop looking at things from pdp and apc angle and start looking at it from the Nigerian angle because those guys don't give a fvck about you and me.

seunmsg:
Defeat is imminent obviously. Reminds me of how Jonathan also desperately sought for the postponement of 2015 election when it became obvious that he will lose.

How has the outcome of that election been thus far? That election was the biggest mistake Nigerians have ever made concerning this country. Jonathan's first tenure wasn't commendable but considering the opposition he faced from all corners I would say he tried and he would have done much better had it been he was given another chance. He was voted out by Inec, not the masses.

Messiah buhari that has been given the free hand to rule as he please and do whatever he likes, how has it been with him thus far?
May rescue come sooner before this sinking ship called Nigeria hit the bottom of the sea!