jajeri3216: Just wanted to show you the consequences of these feminist movement.
The kids of these single mothers are running rampant in the west, from uk to Ireland, i even read that following black Americans, Africans are the most incarcerated of lately.
Why? Single mothers raising bad kids
Your view's are balanced but you're not seeing the big picture
Open the link.
https://twitter.com/DonCarlo66/status/1341107715184222209?s=19[/quote]Feminist movement or not, the time has come when we have to accept there's been a change in cultural dogma and we try and make the best of it. Western nations passed through this phase in times past and their ladies will never accept to go back to those 'dark ages' as they'd say.
While the ills of single parenthood is well researched, blaming it on the woman alone is too simple. Same also with the link you shared.... I'm very careful when careful when certain narratives start getting pushed in the western media. Look at almost all the comments there... It's all about limiting migration of blacks or deporting them. I've seen this over and over again. Just before Brexit or any major clampdown on immigration, the media is full with one-sided stories. After it all happens, the truth begins to filter out.
The issues with some black commuties in the West are multifactorial and sadly it's now become a positive feedback cycle that seems to get worse. But a huge part of what drove it was decades of state sponsored discrimination and deprivation against such communities and not black women as the media would have us believe. How about black men? Wouldn't they also take responsibility for the state of their communities?
Take Nigeria for example, a state that purposely habours 2 million out of school kids wandering the streets is bound to produce millions of deliquent youths in future. Now turning round to solely blame those youths im future is wrong.
emmanuelewumi: Lafarge had about 40 years advantage operating in Nigeria before Dangote Cement, but the French were only interested in repatrating their profits to France instead of increasing their production capacities and ploughing back their profits.
Now Dangote Cement is the biggest cement manufacturer in Africa, maybe the company was also given undue advantage in all the countries it operates in Africa
True... That's why I'm not very keen on FDI. Any foreign business entity investing in Nigeria is doing that for the sole purpose of generating profit and returning it back to their main investors at home.
While FDI csn be good, Nigeria needs to learn how to lock in the money and also use it to better the lives of her citizens. This is something developed countries are good at. We are over 200million and chasing 300. The best way to progress and build native capacity is by supporting our businesses who will keep profits back in Nigeria.
We keep asking other countries to send their industries to come and develop our nation. No one does that. There's no free lunch.
That's why I respect Dangote. He has shown that its very possible to build huge industrial capacity in Nigeria. Having people like him in other industries will help propell our nation forward.
sonnie10: I guess the solution should be, let wife do her thing and let the man do his thing as well. Everybody run their own show without interference by the other as along as there is no obvious disrespect. As long as they are not crossing each other’s paths, everything should be ok. The wife can go to work and come as she pleases and the man should figure out how to do the same. The problem with this is that in almost all partnerships, there are joint liabilities. In marriage, the man is the natural liability protection carrier. Their joint and individual actions produce these liabilities. Abuse is when you use someone abnormally. At a point that freedom turns to abuse for the bearer of the resulting liabilities.
In successful partnerships, there's always need for compromise. In summary, I'd say 3 things are important on both sides- respect, understanding and compromise.
sonnie10: In Nigerians mentally, when a husband stays home, he is a lazy good for nothing, wife manipulating husband. He is talking advantage of his wife nurse status, expecting to become and accountant for money he did not for work. He is never appreciated.
They forget even if the man decides to just go and do group home sitting, he would be ok. But the nurse wife would not be able to pay for nanny and after school programs if no one stays home.
I agree.. it goes both ways.
The way of life in the West is very much different. And yes why there should be good element of 9ja culture in Nigerian marriages abroad, expecting one partner to bend over to please the other would likely boomerang someday.
goody234: This is a problem with nigerian women with the chicken feed money you earn, thinking you are better than the man that brought you into the US from obscurity ...it happens all the time insulting and belittling the man in front of his children .. You think the US cares about you as a women you are only helping them in the destruction of the black family...teach your daughters to submit to their husbands and dont think they deserve a better man because of a few educational certificates...
It takes a lot more than educational certificates my ladies to keep a family ...submission is the key you are a wife to support your husband ...in-fact a good woman makes the husband and family wealthier .
Your role is not to wear your husbands trousers like you modern women love to do ..ask your mothers how their marriages were ...no man is perfect !!they endured a lot to keep the family as a unit....
pls my ladies dont get a bullet in the head because your husbands cant take it anymore !!!
Lol... Count how many times you used the word submit... Lol. Even a pet in the West is not submissive (hello animal rights). The best version of submission you'd get is from your Nigerian lady.. Carry this mentality near a white girl nd she'd turn you inside out.
Also let me remind you that the Bible said men should love their wives as Christ loved the church.... The kind of love that can make you die for her.
The bible also says that we should mske sure our own obedience is complete before looking at another's.
Putting both together as a man biblically, if you've not been able to love your wife to a stage where you can die for her (as commanded), then you should not be demanding submission from her. Makes sense?
SamNaijaboy: My daughter, if I have one, will probably be naive, having grown up with the best of the best so I will be very protective so she is not used by some visa-hungry guy. However, I would encourage her to find a fellow doctor to marry at her Stanford medical school or John Hopkins. So if the hustler guy has the brains to find himself in Johns Hopkins as a doctor, why not? But make the guy no think say he go be guy wey dey work for walmart, come come my house oh. Na dog I go set on am
Lol...
Toh you see why I said it cuts across. Most guys bashing Nigerian ladies here would not want a typical hustling Nigerian fude to come near their daughters.
And I'm sure you'd also be a bit suspicious of a 'hustling' Nigerian immigrant who wants to befriend you as well.
sonnie10: One common issue spouse have when the wife is a nurse is time management. Running the home and work schedule. It comes down to maintaining a balance between. I will go further to give some details of most prevalent scenario. As a nurse in the US, you are able to afford most luxury; any car, house, clothing, vacation and jewelries but you must put in the time for work.
If you work one regular 40hours a week job, you might not be that financially ok when you consider bills.
Now, here is where the common problem is, nurses are well sort after and the opportunity to work extra jobs are plenty. The downside is that it takes away family time and wifely responsibilities. Most husbands do not want that but the greed for dollars and the good things the wives can get with it blocks any form compromise with the husband. The common rebuttal is usually; are you not the man? Why don’t you provide those things then? Me that I want to try why are you stopping me? Imagine what happens in a home where the wife works 16hour at two jobs and only comes home to sleep when the husband is probably away at his own job.
Let me tell you this, a nurse that works only 40 hours a week can never comfortably afford a Land Rover valor or Lexus Gx or Mercedes glc, it’s impossible. So how is it that most of the nurses drive these cars?
They drive it because they work more and family responsibility is neglected. In the US, if you have young kids at school, your life and time is almost sacrificed for them.
Someone has to be there to get them ready, to drop them off at school and pick them up after school. Obviously, if the wife is a “hard working nurse” she can’t. The man has to pick up this extra responsibility and cut down his time for work; meaning less money for the man and more more for the wife. That is the correlation.
So, the result is that the wife is more financially buoyant than the man. It then comes a time when the wife wants to pay house rent for her brother in Nigeria who lives in lekki and had recently lost his job but the husband says no, she can’t. Who gives him the right to decide what she can and cannot do with her hard earned money? Forgetting that he also made the sacrifices for her to be available to go to that work. The truth is that anyone can do two jobs in the US. ( Go check the families that both husband and wife work two full time jobs, their children are always in trouble) Ideally, this is not how it is judged by external advisers and even the wife themselves.
The judgement is usually this way; you are the man, why can’t you provide for your family, why let your wife suffer to work and you want to control her. The statement has sent many men to early grave This is bringing a man to the lowest of low. A man that has sacrificed his time, job, pride and almost everything hoping for a better family.
Good point.
For those wondering, it's almost the same reason why properties are split between partners even if one was a house wife/husband moreso when kidsare involved.
Being a house wife/husband is the West is very much different from that role in Nigeria. If kids are involved, it can be regarded as a full-time job.
Most families have to make that compromise so one person is more at home and the other has the flexibility to work extra. If not, cost spent on childcare will virtually swallow the salary you're going out to work for.
How they are ripping inter- and intra-personal relationships out of India's caste system is amazing. Abi they are overlooking the hold of the caste system in the people's personal acts de ni.
Hehe... Somethings are better experienced... To me it's almost like sitting on a keg of gun powder.
SamNaijaboy: I adore and date beautiful women period. I remember the last two black women I tried to date before this latina doctor. One a Nigerian, one from East Africa, both smashingly cute. One left me outside (claimed to have slept off with zero apologies) when I picked her up 40 mins late for dinner date (even though I was sharing my ETA with her on Apple Maps and I had let her know I would be late in the afternoon prior) and the other acted like she is the most busy doctor in the world. They want you to prove something (who has time) Sharperly, I found a woman who doesn't play games and is as beautiful or more. Now the Nigerian doctor is calling me and was surprised to know I now have a girlfriend.
Not generalizing, but if you are a guy man, you treat all the same. Otherwise that is racism. I originally would have preferred a Nigerian, but now I think NOT.
Hehehe... Seems na only doctor you wan marry... Are you sure you're not digging gold?
Her attitude is something that cuts across Nigerian immigrants in general. Once most are on their feet, they start looking at new entrants one way. It's even worse when it's the parents.
I hope you'd treat a hustling Nigerian dude with respect if he comes to marry your U.S trained doctor daughter
lefulefu: indians kill themselves in the US too.Havent u heard of honour killings where parents murder their dauthers if she dares marries from a different religion or group.They say its a dishonour to their heritage.There was a story i watched on investigative discovery where an angry iraqi man ..an immigrant in the US ran his own dauther over with his SUV cos she dared to date a kurdish man.
I've had very close contact with Indians and what alot here dont know is that the country is a very conservative, struggling and discriminatory one just like Nigeria. They have a good going caste system They and Nigerians are like two extremes of a spectrum- haven't even come across a marriage between the two in person
Timetravel88: This has become a western societal issue because of the lopsided advantages women get from state law. Even rich white men are also on the list of the "wife killing spree" infested in most homes. Theirs is just under reported on Nairaland because they aren't Nigerians.
Perhaps... But we shouldn't make it a Nigerian thing.
For a Nigerian man in the West, you're not much likely to get a better deal elsewhere.
Frustrated007: oga she started it and I only gave her a piece of me. The other guy couldn't structure really painful words to put her in her place.reason why I chipped in.
Now regarding that assumption about Nigerian men underperforming in various western countries.. you are actually wrong! Nigerian guys are really giving other migrants a run for their money in most western countries. From law to entertainment, to politics etc. Did you know that the owner of the popular YouTube channel coldfusion is a Nigerian!? Get your stats right bro.
We're in this together. Male or female. It's a known fact that blacks are underrepresented in the top echelons of the Western society. We don't need statistics to tell us. Look around the West, Asians generally are in a higher earning group. I am not talking about one or two high outsiders.
CSTRR: But they do. They send them to school so that they can fit in. But at the same time give their husbands a feel of where they are coming from. That's why they spend all that money to import from Nigeria.
If a Nigerian wife can not offer Culture with a touch of liberalism, then there is no point wasting all that money and time.
It is better to look for a sensible white Woman there and go full scale liberal.
You can't marry a Nigerian woman and then she can't act differently from a white woman.
Just like you said, What is the point?
Toh... Finally we're saying same thing.
If you want a cultural marriage with a touch of liberalism (like most would) best bet is still a Nigerian lady. If you want to go liberal, go White.
Even for the Nigerian ladies, their best bet of having a stable long-term relationship is also with a Nigerian man. They know this and the singles ones in the West are very happy to make contact with the few eligible males there. They also understand the dilemma.
Most times, you have to make a compromise and hope you get the right partner irrespective of race.
Frustrated007: lmao see this cumrag! You seriously think black men are undesirable? lmao. It's actually the other way round lmao Black women are the least desirable of all the races lmao. You can Google it.. little negress. You will find alot of academic material showing just how despicable most males find your kind. Even black males
Even Nicki Minaj acknowledged what I just said in one of her songs
You don't need to go that low.. Man or woman, we as Nigerians all share a common genetic and environmental pool so one sex cannot be bright and the other sex dull. That said, Nigerians in the West are generally in the bottom earning group. You put down a Nigerian woman, you are also putting yourself down
CSTRR: Marry a Nigerian woman, bring her abroad and you are playing ping pong with your peace of mind.
The odds are not in your favour. You could get a good one, but it is increasingly unlikely.
Marrying them at home in Nigeria though is a different kettle of fish.
Not true. That's not my point even though a majority of successful Nigerian homes abroad were formed this way.
My point is that if you're marrying a Nigerian lady from Nigeria, treat her as you would her western counterpart or youre better off marrying in the west.
pocohantas: I have enough people in the diaspora around me. I asked someone straight up once, why did you come back? He said, “it is sweet at first, they know how to do love. You people will look cute- interracial couple. Then that begins to wear off. The reality of the differences in your mindsets, beliefs and ideologies would begin to set in.”
I am not saying there are no Nigerian women that would get there and turn to something else, but our men are not entirely blameless. They should stop acting perfect. After all, their marriages with foreign women do not last either. Neither do they behave the Nigerian way around her.
Apt. It's what I'm trying to say.. It takes much more tgan love to live with someone peacefully for 30 years... Religion, ideologies, beliefs, food, background, friends, family e.t.c would always come up. When the only thing in common is love, then issues may crop up with time.
Someone mentioned Asians... I laugh.. Except the Asian was born in the West, or else you're looking at a union of people from two very conservative background but at extremes of tge spectrum... It's like mixing oil and water.
The divorce rate in the West is sky high already. And the typical Nigerian lady is more likely to persevere in a marriage than her western counterpart simply because of upbringing.
HisMajesty1: Really? But that's what we see every time. See, I've been following your line of argument on this particular thread and I understand it, but then, emotional things hurt more. Let's leave this case since it's still been investigated. My uncle in Albany, New York told me that the very moment newly migrated Nigerian women in the US fully understand how so much the laws favour them (usually they get tutored by more experienced Nigerian women who have stayed longer and surely seperated from their husband's and have gotten all the man has) they start provoking their husband's. Starts with nagging then graduates to brazen infidelity and more. The man snaps hits her or do anything harmful in the heat of the moment, she calls the authorities and there goes the beginning of the end of all a man's hard work. (Especially for men who brought and 'established' their wives which is mostly the case). And you expect a typical Nigerian man at heart regardless of how long he has stayed in the US to suck it up like his white counterparts will? Only exceptional Nigerian men like the uncle of poster early in the thread can do that.
Why can't such men liquidate their properties, send it back home and then divorce their wives? Hehe
pocohantas: My uncle just came back last two years for a homebased wife. He was in his early 50s.
Haven’t you noticed majority of the guys always typing that fallacy are the ones in Nigeria? They should better find way to leave this country and send dollars for me.
Sadly, that has been a recurring thing. Established Nigerian men in the U.S divorcing their white wives to come back and marry.
These are folks that have been there for years with experience. There's definitely something driving it.
CSTRR: There are different kinds of white ladies. Some are very sensible.
Nigerian women take undue advantage of the gender chaos in THE West. It is Like they discovered Gold.
Men won't change. They know what they married and they expect it. In fact, they would be more compromising than if they were in Nigeria.
It's the women that change of their own accord and for the worst.
I'd say there are different kinds of ladies everywhere.
My point is there are sensible white and Nigerian ladies. Women everywhere have similar traits just like men... It's just natural. The way these traits are expressed is dependent on the environment
I don't know what man brings a woman abroad for the sole purpose of making her at his "beck and call", but I do know several who brought their wives who they thought they could build a future and raise beautiful children in a saner climate with, only for their gullible wives to embrace her newly found "liberation" as an opportunity to emasculate their men and live a frivolous lifestyle.
A man can selflessly bring a woman he loves abroad, only for her to count his sacrifices as nothing - ingrates!
The mentality that being a dutiful and courteous wife is "slavery" has done more harm to your gender than good.. that is why y'all are being killed left right and centre
Keep thinking you can cockle men and destroy everything they've worked for because feminism has "liberated' you
Too bad this woman did not live to enjoy her newly found liberation.
Toh... Why can't those men just marry white ladies who are already abroad and rest rather than going through the stress of marrying from Nigeria?
Lol Not to go ad hominen but it's obvious most of the guys complaining here have not lived in the West.
I'd say to dudes here, if you think an average Nigerian lady no dey hear word, try a proper English girl (in her prime) and you'd come running back... Many have towed that path and ran back
Frustrated007: these women keep Making my case against marriage stronger by the day Marry a Nigerian woman at your own risk!!! It seems Asian women make better wives
Hehe good luck with that... Hope you find successful examples before you jump in.
CSTRR: It was what THE Nigerian men accomplished that they used to import these wives and give them a better life.
Some even train their wives through expensive Nursing school.
Then why can't these men marry already established White ladies? They have lived in the West but still opt for a Nigerian lady... That should tell you something. The problems you'd encouter with the White lady is on another level. Fact is that it's much more likely for a Nigerian man (born in 9ja) in the West to have a successful union with someone of same race and background. That's a fact that cuts across everyone?
That person (wife or not) is a human. That you facilitated yhe persons travel, paid for their schooling e.t.c gives you no right to Lord it over them. That's not how the West works.
Have you ever asked yourself if the mrn do anything that makes the wife turn around?
Yankee101: Stop going to naija just to pick a wife if your sole motive is cooking, cleaning, sex and obedience. It will fade away once she discovers her freedoms here. But marry an independent woman, an equal, from anywhere at anytime and it won't matter.
Imagine marrying a judge, doctor or lawyer who cooks for you and the children amd still cleans the house. That's sexy as fvck. Plus even if she wants to divorce, she's probably as rich as you or close. So no hard feelings. If you share your joint property you still get to keep yours.
Your last two paragraphs are very correct.
How many Nigerian men in the west have gone out to marry white doctors, accountants e.t.c? They fantasize about a Lord-servant relationship and end up with issues.
Crime › Re: Ben Okigbo: Nigerian Doctor Shoots His Wife Dead & Commits Suicide In America by jedisco(m): 10:27am On Dec 24, 2020*. Modified: 11:44am On Dec 24, 2020
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