₦airaland Forum

tkb417:
JJYOU
Chief, i don't agree with u here o
They love the material things that go with it but i tell you, their is this silent guilt that permeates through their membranes.

Give some of them a new lease of life i bet it, they'll jump out of the illicit trade. As for the School gurls?
I think its still gotta do with greed!!
They do it yeah to 'feel among and measure up to standards' but inside of them, they'll prefer people don't call them all sort of names they are known for

i think they feel guilty
personal opinion

my oga, how you dey? i know some people who work with many prostitutes both here in europe and naija. sad to to say some of them come back to business less than a month after deportation. even trying to train some of them back home for meaningfull job is trying to say the least.

in the 80's back home. i saw young school girls who had more money in their bank accounts than people with good paying jobs. you cannot wean majority of them from the oxygen called money.

most theives feel guilty when they are caught too. is that real guilt?

spikedcylinder:
Its so funny but I wonder. Very funny o. Wait for it:

Why do the grannies these youngies fall for just so happen to be rich?

Just a thought o. Not like I'm insinuating anything at all. Just a thought you hear?

Otherwise, my grandpa would have died a very happy man.

supply and demand my sister.  what most of these young ladies want, notice i say want not NEED some young men their age can't provide.

webman:
@Divagal, Actually, there is nottin  wrong with a  young girl like 23-26 getting married  to man of 45-60, From search, it is observed that out of 10 young girls  between the ages  of 20-25 ,7 girls will actually marry men between ages 45-60,because of materalise gains due to family bground, the social orientation and  other factors, [b]Young girls  from affluence homes will never go for older men,except in some cases  when they do  so,because  of business ties  and wealth circulation within particular families, While, all younger girls from lower-income earning status will surely grab the chances  of  getting married  to older men with rich background, Essentially, no young girls will never get married  to  older men without money to spend, Now, it is very  hard to separate your love for  the man based on  the  fact he has money to  spend, [/b]

Young girls  from affluence homes will never go for older men,except in some cases  when they do  so,because  of business ties  and wealth circulation within particular families,

absolutely true and rightly so in my opinion

it is very  hard to separate your love for  the man based on  the  fact he has money to  spend

i believe not in all cases unless we are talking ashewos here

guilt and most ashewo's dont go together. they like the money and keep the money. living on immoral earnings as the english say. the reason why most girls go into it is just the easy money

Andyjoy:
Sori, but I am lost here. please what's pre-nup

I guess iam JJC but please I need an answer sha.

Thanks

pre nuptial agreement - listing of any divorce settlement before you say i do.

tony will keep the birds, car, hi-fi, wallet, his mum and dad etc

sally will keep the house plus furniture and fittings. do you get the flow?

i would say you need pre nup in a world where as Tangent said yesterday in Prisoner Of Love: In The Guise Of Marriage

3 months is nothing. all a woman needs to say is she is depressed and may kill herself if the man comes back home. there's nothing any solicitor can do to depression/suicide in the courts. judges and the police take such issues seriously. a woman with kids contemplating suicide. three months is small. it can lead to 6 months. there's no law that restricts a man going to his house but there has to be other parties involved. social care workers must be present if he wants to see his kids.

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-189225.0.html

sista-jay:
No Pre-nup for me, id go into a marriage with what's mine and leave with what's mine.

unfortunately the world as me and you know it is gone.

it is not an encouragement to divorce. it is mainly for the party with most of the assets to protect his or her assets/investments.  if you are not going into a relationship with the intention of taking advantage of people what is the reason for not signing pre-nup?.

ilurveit:
I don't know why you would bring personal insults into things, that was really rude. I'm not the finest but I'm also not wowo, and moreover you don't know me. I'm not the kind of person who's only friends with people who are exactly like me. [b][b][b]And I'm not exactly sure what a "correct church" is? Could you define/explain?[/b][/b][/b] I go to one of the bigger Redeemed parishes in VI so it's not like it's a small cupboard church where everyone is in everyone's pocket like that.


I know right? It's tough. It's never nice to feel used by people. Sorry about your situation but you're better off. And you're right it does become funnier with time. My sister and I were laughing over the 90k yesterday because for the first time I saw the funny side. Like I can just picture myself asking my dad for N90k just like that. Major LOLs. I don't know about other middle class folks but that is NOT how it goes down in my family.

you have a good mindset young lady. always expect people to try make you feel small for not doing what they want. you don't owe nobody. many people in that lovely country of ours know how to ask and use things they can't afford.

i would like to know a correct church myself

so this ugly rumour is still alive?

MARRY ALL OF THEM. PROBLEM SOLVED. YOU CAN ADD ONE OR TWO TO THAT ON NL. good luck. awuf dey run belle as they say.

not bad for a first post,

all men cheats who is this?

rosy rosy:
My cousin is married with three lovely kids. He loves wife and cares for his family. From the way he treats his wife, one would never believe he could look at another woman not to talk of having another affair. But the truth is that he has a girl friend.

Why are all men cheats.

some people are great pretenders and actors

just google the word cohabiting and see what comes up.  Any relationship between two people, who live together in close proximity, develops problems. Cohabiting couples find it easier to quit the relationship and the split is as painful as a divorce. Couples in live-in arrangements are 9 times likelier to split compared to married people.

Even if cohabiting couples eventually get married, their marriages are twice more likely to fail compared to spouses who have not cohabited prior to their marriage.

i believe only God and finding ones life partner in life helps in forming healthy relationships

enjoy the full  article


Cohabitation is neither accepted by society nor by religion and the failure rate of such arrangements is high as portrayed by grim statistics. Notwithstanding this fact, live-in arrangements are turning the norm these days.

In the 1960s just 5 out of 100 women were willing to cohabit in the UK. Today, more than 70 out of 100 women live together with their mate preceding their marriage. Majority of the cohabiting couples comprise of people aged between 25 and 34.

Why do People Like to Cohabit?

To understand what motivates them into such a decision, you have to comprehend the psyche of the young. Cohabiting couples unanimously state that they intend to have fun while concentrating on enhancing their earning capabilities. Live-in arrangements perfectly suit such requirements. They share the rent and domestic chores with their partner, while simultaneously enjoying the freedom entailed by the status of single hood. They are free to date anyone, their movements are not restricted and, above all, their earnings are not shared.

Many of the cohabiting couples also state that this arrangement suits their physical requirements for intimacy while they are not tied down by marital responsibilities. Moreover, the Damascus sword of divorce is pleasurably absent in such a situation. If their live-in arrangement gets rocked by problems, they can easily separate, unlike in divorce which is an intrinsically legal procedure.

This outlook should not be mistaken to mean that cohabiting people hold anti-marriage views. More than 70% of them eventually aspire to settle down in marriage. Though people do opt for a live-in arrangement in the initial stages, it is a temporary contract entered into, due to non-availability of finances to celebrate a wedding. 50% of these relationships get terminated by the end of a year, usually, in a marriage and, on rare occasions, in a split.

Married Couples Enjoy Many Benefits

Marriages compare much favourably to cohabitation arrangements.

Marriages induce unconditional commitment and partners in a marital union are, therefore, more happy and relaxed due to the security they enjoy. Cohabiting couples are insecure for partners lack the basic commitment to make the relationship a success.

Statistics prove that domestic violence and physical abuse are more in a cohabiting relationship.

Any relationship between two people, who live together in close proximity, develops problems. Cohabiting couples find it easier to quit the relationship and the split is as painful as a divorce. Couples in live-in arrangements are 9 times likelier to split compared to married people.

Even if cohabiting couples eventually get married, their marriages are twice more likely to fail compared to spouses who have not cohabited prior to their marriage.

The main aim of cohabiting couples is to concentrate on earning more. Yet, oddly enough, it is the married, who are high earners. Married couples have more money for they have joint earnings. They share the household chores and child-raising responsibilities enabling either spouse to earn for the family.

Women also benefit emotionally from a marriage. Marriage makes them feel secure and fulfils their needs for companionship. Men find marriage equally advantageous, but benefits derived by men are more economic in nature. Women take on the household responsibility, freeing them to concentrate on career development and accentuating earning potential. In other words, men and women benefit equally from a marriage, while neither partner benefits in a cohabitation arrangement.

The number of people who are cohabiting is rising in the UK, compared to the rest of Europe. A little known fact worth mentioning at this juncture is that cohabiting partners in France and Germany have a slightly lower risk of divorce, compared to married couples there. This leads us to believe that it is not the nature of the live-in arrangement that is responsible for the emergence of the negative consequences. Rather, the subsidiary factors like the economic, educational and social background of the cohabiting partners are responsible for the high failure rate of such relationships.

Cohabiting relationships are mainly formed to avoid the repercussion of a failed marriage, like a divorce. Yet, oddly enough, by entering into such a relationship, couples are increasing their chances of a split. Cohabiting couples take their relationship seriously and when it eventually gets terminated, their experiences are similar to those of divorced people. Children too suffer all the divorce-associated ill-effects.

http://articles.webraydian.com/article4753-Marriages_Vs_Livein_Relationships.html

Ms. Lurker:
This is why I believe in waiting and living with the person prior to being married. You can't hide stuff like this when you are living together. I want to see exactly what I'm getting off the bat!

living in sin is not an option in so many relationships. Christians are not allowed to co-habit. a very high prorpotion of co-habiting relationships fail plus the small matter of many nigerians giving nollywood actors a run for thier money. people have masks.

AFAIK:
@JJYOU I AM SURE YOU DON'T REALISE HOW REALLY  DESPERATE YOU HAVE BEEN SOUNDING IN YOUR ATTEMPT TO CONVINCE US  AND YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE DOING OK IN UK  

that is so cool of you. you forgot i didn't travel on your ticket and i am not responsible for what you think of me. you are a typical cheap talker. your mind and mouth are yours to use as you wish. the more you people come out with your trash, the more envy comes out as sole reason for this garbage.

do you have to be successfull to be truthfull and not swallow lies presented as facts?. it is majority yes men like you that are enemies of that country

Ms. Lurker:
What is your story?

And if you were smart enough to dodge, why didn't frenchman's friend do the same?

dont worry. it is history now. i didnt park there too long.  

why didn't frenchman's friend do the same?

good question. i dont blame the man. we all dont reason or work out things at same speed.  people are different.  some believe people change thier habits and give them the benefit of  doubt and later regret it.  others choose thier audience selectively.

i dont like bad relationships. it sucks life and energy out of you. worse still breaks your focus.

agaba123:
Yes there is wahalaSo much for going home to take a wife.
I said it in one thread months back that it is better to get the devil you know here than going to naija for the 'angel'. Those girls overdo it. Yes you may say that girls here have tasted every manliness , what about them over there? They are worse and their desire to blend makes do worse things.
No all of them sha. before mgbo go land for me head

for years me, almond joy and nwando have been saying same thing here.  majority of them are buy one get one trouble free.  check the thread will you take your gift back? i told my story there.  i nearly bought myself one lovely nightmares too. she is still here and we remain friends. i am thankfull to God it was only money that went

frenchman:
JJYOU,
Well said, I would have advised my friend to look at the divorce option, but I think it wont be right for me to be married and encouraging divorce of someone else.

We all knew how madam was before our friend brought her from Naija (no disrespect meant) , now that she is here, the center can no longer hold. May God save us from canterkerous women.

amen my brother. 2 years ago i attended a seminar titled only the poor marry. almost every person i know that brought these lovely naija sisters here lived to regret it. as i say thank God for lawyers and accountants.  if you don't want nobody touching your assets invest in Ghana or nigeria through a trust. the returns are reasonably high. i don't use this word lightly. i hate greedy and foolish people

agaba123:
He was like 'if she bears my children, does my laundry and spends my money, what else do I want. I am not ready for someone who is going to throw me out of my house and take 85% of my wealth in the name of divorce'.

After rweading of a divorce case which was purely unjust, a nother friend told me, 'to hell with marriage for now. If I make it till 80, i will consider if she is still there'

the mrs and i went to a wedding on saturday. after the blessing the man asked the people looking for a partner to come out. it was only 1 guy for about 50 ladies. you know there is trouble ahead.

tangent:
@ jjyou, if a man owns his house and he is either violent or abusive, the court can put a restraining order on him till his partner/wife is comfortable with him in the house. an englishman's house is his castle is an old fable that does not apply in the land these days. laws can be manipulated to suit whoever. do u know how many men languishing in the prison system because of their wives? [b][b]women teach the children to lie against their fathers to put him in more trouble[/b]. i am not saying this is right or acceptable but i am telling you these things happen.[/b] stop thinking these things happen only in council flat areas. it is widespread and cuts across every class in the society. there are greedy and evil men/women everywhere.

this is my last post on this.  i love the way you put the men/women. i personally have always been against buy now pay later relationships. it is not worth it.

if a man owns his house and he is either violent or abusive

no human being has any right to be abusive or violent towards another. it is never acceptable.

laws can be manipulated to suit whoever. do u know how many men languishing in the prison system because of their wives?

of course i know. i used to attend a mainly Nigerian church so i know the lawlessness out there. a friend nearly got himself some GBH for self inflicted wounds by his ex wife. i know these things happen. you may not like it the major motivation has always been housing or trying to inflict pain of homelessness on the other.

stop thinking these things happen only in council flat areas. it is widespread and cuts across every class in the society. there are greedy and evil men/women everywhere.

that is not true. it does not and will not cut across every class. you have to look for the factor motivating the group of women doing these things and be able to rule out certain segment of the society.

you are a smart 21yrs old.  if you are really 21 and know these things God help the fortunate woman whose son is coming near Canada water.  it has been good talking to you.

let this prisoner story be told please. just want to place on record not every man marry to get paper or free load.  what a brilliant world. mothers now have sons requiring other women daughters to feed and house them.
thank God for the women that came before me that didn't deform me to that level

frenchman:
Love, I guess. Love, they say conquers all, but not in this case

don't worry. love is blind marriage is opening his eyes. she would soon join the ever growing association of single parents and thyank God for london nigeria pastors that love praying for the singles

tangent:
3 months is nothing. all a woman needs to say is she is depressed and may kill herself if the man comes back home. there's nothing any solicitor can do to depression/suicide in the courts. judges and the police take such issues seriously. a woman with kids contemplating suicide. three months is small. it can lead to 6 months. there's no law that restricts a man going to his house but there has to be other parties involved. social care workers must be present if he wants to see his kids.

i like the kind of world you inhabit as a 21yrs old. i can see where you are coming from using manipulative words like may kill herself. it looks good on paper and getting away with injustice. like i said these are manifestation mainly restricted to social housing and the vast blended family wahala you see these days.

it is madness in the first place to be shouting at people. if a man own his home ask as many social worker as you like you cant put a restraining order on him.  ever heard the word " an english man's home is his castle"?

i know you are 21. dont believe every hype you hear our people say. this land is not as lawless as most people think. there are experts for everything that can be called as a professional witness.  

you must have read in the papers 2yrs ago i think the nigerian woman jailed for lying under oath against the husband in court.  her case fell apart easily. it was fight over some silly council flat that got out of around if you remember. last yr another one was adopting children to get council flat. she is serving at her majesty pleasure now for some years. there is more to life than council flats. if you dont love people, let them go quietly. i dont know how manipulation becomes right.  

love is always right. manipulation even in the name of getting housing is always wrong

thank God for lawyers i say again

tangent:
i know a colleague of mine at work who got locked out for 3 months because he had a verbal brawl with his wife. the met police asked him to go and hang out with his friends. he goes home during the weekend just to pick his clothes. don't dare underestimate the power of a woman.

3 months? wonder what would have happened if he slapped her. maybe police would have locked him up and throw away the keys.
am i missing something here? when did the police in england get the powers to restrict a man from coming to his house? there is something wrong in that story. if he had a restraining order always from the courts he would not be allowed to come near her or the house weekend or no weekend. that is the law.

seeing God is beginning to save the queen, they might as well just make special rules for her ladies.

poverty is surely a mind business

carmelily:
Stay loose, JJYOU. What landis meant, i believe, is that the bigger blame lies with the bank for security lapses. No one is saying those students did good.

landis:
These boys should be FREED with only N5,000.00.

This would send signals to the bank to ensure they have proper IT security in place.

he actually said

These boys should be FREED with only N5,000.00.

the greatest and most expensive of technology fails. they are products of something for nothing society.

MrCrackles:
It is baffling to hear that 34million naira was withdrawn via an ATM?!

Shameful!!

_{oh and before i forget, woe betide all scammers and 419ers!}

It is baffling to hear that 34million naira was withdrawn via an ATM?

na true you talk bros

landis:
These boys should be FREED with only N5,000.00.

This would send signals to the bank to ensure they have proper IT security in place.

don't you just love something for nothing society? what else would like to excuse. it is like the tolerance treash hold of you guys has no limit.  what is wrong with honesty? what does students need  34million naira for?

spikedcylinder:
Ok.

Could people also see it from the other point of view? I mean, if this man's wife was on nairaland, what would she come here to say about her hubby? She'd probably complain that he's a no good, never stay at home, always partying wife beater. There are two sides to a coin people.

we are talking adults here. you don't want to lock a wife beater indoors.

tangent:
i don't understand this poster. what is the meaning of "can accommodate women"?  if a woman calls 999 in this country and tells the police she feels threatened by the sight of her husband(the police would move the husband out for few days). until the woman says she is comfortable with her husband, the man has to hang with friends or relatives. violence or not, it is the woman's word against yours. verbal abuse is enough to get a man's ass out of his own house. p.s. the woman need not be his wife. any woman staying with a man for a period of 6 months is a partner and cohabitation rule applies.

this is getting better. women have never had it so good in this lovely country of ours.

can aaccommodatewomen are women with aaccommodationseeking men in relationship. i hasten to add this is thankfully a western phenomenon don't tell me this is first you are hearing this word

it is the woman's word against yours

of course it is always the woman's word and boy are some milking and abusing the system with it?

let me say this again this nonsense mostly happen with people men who  live with women who are mostly named occupier in social housing.  

until the woman says she is comfortable with her husband, the man has to hang with friends or relatives.

this is not some banana republic that lawyers cant sort in court quickly. police duties is to separate them momentarily they never final say.  i know this for a fact because a friend went through this 3yrs ago.

i dont like the sound of any form of controlling adults.  just imagine the noise you will make if a woman was being asked to be indoors here

Gamine:
i was going to say the same thing Loveore said.

The dude posting this, is not in the marriage

how well can he know whats really going on?

he only sees the face his friend puts up

Oga Poster,

We Cannot say anything about this objectively

gamine, not you. would you like anyone caging you for whatever reason? you cant even restrict 16yrs old movement in this part of the world

tangent:
the man is not really disturbed, the friends are the ones disturbed. believe me, most of the time this type of situation arises it is because the wife paid a huge price(maybe marriage contract to secure papers for the man or something equally important). men sometimes think they can eat their cakes and have it but women are matching them up in their games.

huge price? games? what matching games my dear sister? like i said these rubbish mostly happen in CAN ACCOMODATE WOMEN relationships. thankfully, i dont have a controlling and manipulative wife plus i have the keys to my front doors. dont you feel it is sad when women who know what bad relationships is like start throwing thier weight about because of some silly council flats