₦airaland Forum

[quote author=d-ROC link=topic=246156.msg3583160#msg3583160 date=1236853782]This is why I said "Lets Stop Dating Poor Girls". Have you all seen the result?

This kind of attitude could only come from a poor and uncultured girl. The guy probably married because he thought he was in love and that with his money he could save this girl. This is obviously a street girl and no lady at all.

If this guy had married according to class and temperment all this could have been averted. We all make mistakes in the name of love but when a monumental mistake is made due to neglect of foundational principles, it could be difficult to blame anyone other than yourself.

I would have advised him to stay on in the marriage but for the fact that his life may not be worth living if he stays on.[/quote]you are 98% home and dry on this bro. high temper women are too high maintenance and unstable for my liking

Timmmy:
Wow! This is serious. Please i think everyone should sit down and learn from this story. It happened so that you and i can learn from it.
@ poster
according to what you wrote here. The girl has showed him the type of person she is by stapping him and doing all sort of things before marriage. The guy knew all these before and he agreed to live his life with her that way. So, i dont see any reason why she want to divorce her. And again in the presence of God and the entire congregation he was asked if he will love her for better for worse and he said yes. Then what else. I think this is just the beggining. Now, what i will say is that, [i]let him be closer to God very well, because spirit is telling me now that his wife is possed with evil spirit. Let him pray very well that God should reavel this secret to him. Honestly she will change with prayer. [/i]And if he divorce her, what is the tendency that he would not marry someone worst than that? He will win the battle if he's patient and prayerful says the LORD. Peace

my dear woli, i am all for sticking and working things out but what if this guy lost his life by staying do they have foolish avenue in hell for people like him.

domestic violence is one of the few things that trips me. i cant stand it and dont tolerate it under any circumstances. no one is permitted to raise their voice around me. [quote author=Akaraoku$ link=topic=246156.msg3583610#msg3583610 date=1236857603]@ D-ROC
Guy y're on point in a way though.But poor background does not neccessarily mean poor morals;there are gals who are actually from wealthy families or doing well for themselves with awful manners.My point, luk b4 u leap n above all seek wise counsel, cos there's an igbo proverb that says "ebe nwata no na ebe akwa atuaka ,Nne ya anoghi ebe ahu ,Nna ya anoro ya"[/quote]interpretation please. tks

sammyzacks:
tpia i love your comments. you have a sound mind.

the problem we often have is: "what will people say"

but there is absolutely nothing wrong with dating and marrying a single mother. she has shown responsibility by keeping her baby.

the only reason why any man would avoid it is either he is scared of what people will say, in which case he is still a boy. Or, he claims to be perfect and i can guarantee you there are no perfect gals out there for you.

some people are just avoiding baby daddy drama.

sistawoman:
So yesterday I was off from work, took the day, and I decided I would do so of thier chores and time myself.

Living and game room - picked up both and vaccumed - 20 mins
Mop dinning room and foyer on hands and knees - 20 mins + 10 mins to dry
Cleaned the bathroom - 16 mins


I dont require he mops on his hands and knees everyday just Saturday or Sunday which ever is the top to bottom clean day.

So for the 11 year old he has to:
Mop kitchen, dinning room, foyer - 45 mins
Take out trash - 10 mins
Clean room - 30 mins

he should be done by the time I get home

and the same for the rest, even if i give him an extra 25 mins to do the floor, which he should not need, I dont understand how I am asking too much.

Home at 3 pm
break 3:20
Snack -3:45
chores 5:15 chores done
homework -6:30

5:30 - 6 pm mommy gets home
homework done by 630 now he can go play until dinner and play after dinner.

Last night I did all thier chores before they came home so I asked the 9 year old to clean out the coat closet and hang all the coats. She started at 4pm still at 730 she was working on the closet. It should have took all of 20-30 mins to do. Her friends came to door to ask if she could come outside, but she had to say no because she was still doing the closet. Then she cries when i yell. I yell because if i dont stand right over top of her tapping my feet she wont do it. And if i have to stand there I might as well do it myself. That girl is so lazy and no man is going to want a lazy woman.

mmmm why did you create this thread sister?

Ujujoan:
I know you’ve made the choice to be good now, but trust me, money corrupts. When you can afford practically anything you need and more, my dear I’m sure you’ll still be good oh, but you’ll change. Infact that’s when you’ll see that you can get away with so many things, just because you are loaded. Infact if you can afford to take your girl trips abroad you’ll think you have a right to cheat on her and she doesn’t have the right to complain. Especially when there are a thousand and one girls lining up to take her place!!

Now that dosent make you a bad person, that just makes you a guy who knows he is worth more that a lot of other guys and takes advantage of that fact!! Money has a way of making a good man look bad.

I’m not saying your girl was right by leaving you in the first place for the other guy. But try and understand her, she’s just confused. If she has friends around her, I’m sure they’ll put fire in the whole thing. I don’t belong to the group of girls who pretend like money’s not important to them. It is to me . . . a lot!! And let’s face it, the kind of perfect guy you described yourself to be is almost non-existent. And given that you were describing yourself, you have a right to be biased.

So take it easy on her. You should know her well enough to know if she the overly materialistic type or not. If she’s just the normal ‘I like good things’ kind of girl, then sweetie, this is the woman you love we are talking about!!

i agree with most of what you said but disagree with this statement

Now that dosent make you a bad person, that just makes you a guy who knows he is worth more that a lot of other guys and takes advantage of that fact!! Money has a way of making a good man look bad.

true the opportunity to abuse wealth is there but that is not because of money but character. if having money reallly makes the difference in choice of staying with one woman or sleeping with every moving in skirts how do you explain the serial promiscuity amongst the poor?

what we spend money on reflects who we are. these matters are more of character and habits than money and wealth.

fesse:
"coordinator of the forum, Dorothy Aken'Ova, told journalists yesterday in Abuja that the bill before the House of Representatives, same Gender Marriage(Prohibition) Bill 2008, is a distraction and an infringement on rights of individuals."

"same sex marriage apart from being ungoldly, it is unscriptural, unnatural, unprofitable, unhealthy, un-cultural, un-African and UN-NIGERIAN."

[b]What's really going on in our society? Why should the National Assembly grant them entrance at the first place?[/b]  [size=16pt]she is basically abusing her family connections. she comes from a very respected and highly connected family. if she was some poor mans child she would have had it since. she and her increase organisation will decrease nigeria's well being.[/size]  National Assembly should make it a capital offence. These urgly mammals are gradualling intruding into our Nation without fear. This is another bad side of Democracy.

Infact these barbaric idiots are not supposed to go free. What a shame that National Assembly has become a place of unusual beings.

sadly people said nothing when i warned about this loose canon Dorothy Aken'Ova 3yrs ago.

check her nonsence on the BBC way back Monday, 26 September 2005, 14:20 GMT 15:20 UK.  afruca's debie aruyo is another loose canon to watch

[size=14pt]Challenging Nigeria's sexual taboos[/size]
The BBC World Service "I Challenge" series looks at individuals around the world who have challenged authority, traditions and beliefs in the face of enormous odds.

Here, Dorothy Aken'Ova, a Nigerian sexual health worker, tells the BBC's Linda Pressly how sex education can help reduce domestic violence and discrimination in her country.

Dorothy Aken'Ova, Nigerian sexual health worker
Dorothy believes in the importance of teaching sexual pleasure
In her office in Minna, northern Nigeria, Dorothy Aken'Ova breezily unlocks the door to an inner store room. Inside, next to hefty academic tomes on sexual health, gender and development, is a simple wooden display cabinet.

I am momentarily startled by the brightly coloured rubber and plastic articles on show - especially as this is a Sharia state where jurisdiction is based on Muslim law.

Dorothy takes me through her collection of sex aids and toys.

"We have dildos, vibrators, nipple ticklers, clitoris massagers, gels, lubricants, condoms," she says. "This is the beginning of our sexual health shop."

Dorothy is the founder of the International Centre for Reproductive Health and Sexual Rights - Increse, a non-governmental organisation.

Fundamental to Dorothy's approach to sexual health is a commitment to teaching people about sexual pleasure.

So her collection of intimacy gadgets and aids has a very serious intent: she believes that enhancing sexual pleasure not only improves communication, but crucially, also minimises domestic violence.

"If people want and believe in sexual pleasure," she says, "they will know that battering a woman is certainly not romantic and isn't one of the ways of achieving pleasure. So teaching sexual pleasure may be one way of ensuring women aren't beaten in their own homes."

Domestic discord

We head out to the predominantly Muslim community of Paiko, a 20-minute drive from Minna.

Dorothy has an appointment with the local government council to discuss the progress of a new couples' support centre - the first of its kind in Nigeria.

The initiative came about after Increse did a survey in the area, and found that many people highlighted a lack of harmony between couples, and anxiety about the number of divorce cases.

For Dorothy, the most surprising thing about the study was how open people were.

"There's an assumption that in the traditional north of Nigeria, people won't tolerate discussions about sex. But we found the community very open and willing to talk about many issues of sexuality, including sexual intercourse."

Baba Salihu Danjumo, chairman of Paiko local government
Local council chairman Baba Salihu Danjumo is supportive
Despite coming from the permissive, "anything-goes" capital of the UK, even I find Dorothy's directness occasionally disarming.

But her passion to promote sexual health and well-being leaves no room for coyness. And in an office crammed with local council members, only one of whom is a woman, the chairman, Baba Salihu Danjumo, is equally unfazed.

There will, he says, be private counselling sessions at the new centre where people can discuss pleasure, sexual dysfunction, infertility and family planning.

In fact, the council is so impressed with the project conceived by Increse, it is putting extra resources into the centre, and renovating a further building for young people.

Dorothy is cock-a-hoop, and tells me: "It's such a misconception that people in the north are closed and don't welcome development. This community is ready for a new start. I'm really impressed."

Self-esteem

In Increse, Dorothy has created a unique organisation. Apart from teaching the young people who flock to the Increse centre in Minna from all ethnic and religious communities and doing outreach work in places like Paiko, Dorothy is committed to challenging taboos.


Dorothy's seen things lacking in the Nigerian system and she's trying to change them
Idris, Abuja hotel manager
Nothing is off-limits. So there are workshops on unsafe abortion, seminars on rape, discussions about teenage pregnancy. And recently she created a network for bisexual women and lesbians.

There are no public meeting places in Nigeria, like cafes or bars, for women who are attracted to other women, and nowhere their health needs can be addressed.

Through Increse, Dorothy has chosen to challenge the prevailing silence around homosexuality.


I CHALLENGE
Part 1: Challenging Nigeria's sexual taboos
Part 2: Prison gang 'Godfather' breaks ranks
Part 3: 'Radio raids' wxpose India's corrupt
Part 4: Quest to become 'UK's first female imam'

So far, she has organised three secret meetings of Igonet (Increse Girls Only Network) in a hotel in Abuja.

The general manager of the hotel, Idris, has decided the risk he runs in hosting the get-togethers is worth it.

"The hotel could be set ablaze if the word got out, but I'm proud to be assisting Dorothy in her work", he tells me. "She's seen things lacking in the Nigerian system and she's trying to change them."

I was introduced to some of the women who had met in Abuja. Fortune, a 20-something student from Lagos, told me how wonderful it was to be with other women like her in a safe environment, and get reliable information about sexuality.

Pamela described how her self-esteem had risen as a result of being part of the network.

These women feel safe in Dorothy's company. She throws her head back and laughs uproariously at their stories, but her mission is deadly serious: to challenge the inequalities she believes exist in Nigeria, and fight for an end to discriminatory practices.

never a truer word if there is word like that

her mission is deadly serious

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/4220038.stm

crescent:
What about 7 solid good year of courtship after one month into marriage the situation go awry and bad than the one here. I  have seen such situation. Hence no matter how long is your courtship you can predict and claim to understand your spouse even 30%. Human being are deceptive when they want something. Pray and seek for GoD guidance

you know well especially nigerians. it is the more you look the less you see.

Siena:
Why not admit you're advertising (free plugging) that site?

Rather than be sly and act all innocent?

graduate of NL school of yabis abi? sienna you have change big time.

georgecso:
@Muza



Democracy is not madness for Heaven sake!!! Nigeria is in a big a trouble and they (Gays) are growing stonger.

why cant the thieves go and protest for rights to do their evil without harrasment. there should be more theives in naija than gay/lesbians.  it is sad seeing a vocal minority forcing their life style/mindset on the majority.  if england example is anything to go by, in 10 - 15yrs from now they will be every where in your face especially media land.

may God help that land.

RichyBlacK:
I feel strongly connected to black people everywhere.

and all the tribalists says Amen

character cos love will not be always there 24/7

you are on a mission against yorubas?

kunle, where do you fellowship or worship?

Kx:
JJYOU,thanks for your response bro,you know 2 well this cant be me.
To say the truth,we saw it coming.My ppl dey talk say fly wen nor dey hear
word dey follow dead body go grave.

My guy did nt listen to advice at all.
To ansa anoda fella's question,d uy is about 35 and the girl shud be btw 23 and 26,cant be 2 sure.
She's from some where in niger delta,although u ll agree with me,place of origin has
nothing to do with character.if u dont have it u dont have it.

If i must say the truth,my honest advice to d guy would have been for him to divorce her immidiately
but who are my to put asunder what God has joined together especially wen d guy nor take our advice earlia.

I intend to sample opinion and print the responses and give to d guy so that he will realise
that one shud always listen to the voice of reason and look b4 u leap.

I appreciate u all.

you know that was a joke. i am all for God putting people together but lets be real God didnt put 99% of the world togeter. the word is what God put together not what manipulation/flesh put together.

i asked the area question cos i wanted to nail that barbaric habit of stripping naked to curse to a particular area. i cant imagine and hausa woman doing something like that.

he will hear now. love is blind as they say marriage is opening his eyes now that some mad people still wear clothes.

Ovamboland:
JJYOU is now into denial mode.
Simple truth is just say 'sorry i was wrong 'he keeps on pontificating.

If you have a problem with my intepretation of the payments as a fine why did't you say so calmly in your post rather that dubbing it 'lies on an online forum'?
Simple misinterpretation if any can't be offhandedly called lies. If he was asked to repay fine. The bottomline of my post and quotation is in the context of misapplication of charity funds, a simple correction would have been appropriate.

you are still repeating the lie. there was no fine to pay or repay. if you know what his and other trustees salary is today you would know what i am talking about. but looks that doesnt matter to guys like you.

you should be the one saying sorry for telling untruth. he was never fined.

[size=18pt] Holy Money[/size]
Kenneth Behr Ministry Leadership - Finance
Print PDF
Addressing holiness in a season of fiscal scandal and investigation.
All too often, the best instruction on integrity, accountability and transparency in our churches and nonprofit ministries is largely ignored by the very leaders, organizations and churches that most need to embrace it. Today we find the church in the midst of one of the largest public inquires in memory, with headlines calling integrity into question: "Televangelists Face Intense Federal Probe." "Senator Probes Televangelists' Finances." "Accusations Force Charismatic University President to Resign."

For those Christian leaders who've had their heads in the sand or simply opted not to follow the developing story, Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa), the ranking member on the U.S. Senate Finance Committee, recently initiated an investigation into "possible misuse of donations" among six prominent charismatic ministries. On Nov. 5, 2007, Grassley sent out detailed four- to six-page letters to each nonprofit inquiring about various allegations including excessive compensation, luxury automobiles, a personal jet aircraft and a number of financial transactions that appear to have personally benefited those under scrutiny. Those ministries currently targeted by Grassley are led by Kenneth Copeland, Creflo Dollar, Benny Hinn, Eddie Long, Joyce Meyer, and Randy and Paula White.

Only weeks prior, a multilayered scandal erupted at Oral Roberts University (ORU) involving the institution's financial dealings, along with alleged moral and ethical problems concerning then-president Richard Roberts and his family. Starting with allegations from three former ORU professors of wrongful termination, the saga snowballed into further accusations of the school's improper involvement in politics, a "breaking" story regarding its $50 million-plus debt, Roberts' eventual resignation and an 11th-hour $70 million donation pledge to the university. Interestingly, donor Mart Green, founder of Christian supply store chain Mardel, had no ties to ORU but simply wanted to help the university move forward. After giving $8 million in cash, he stipulated the remainder on a review of financial records after 60 to 90 days and is requesting at least two seats on the board of regents for his family. "We're coming in and saying it's a spiritual issue—let's get integrity, let's get trust built back and the rest will go away," Green said.

Clearly matters of integrity and trust are playing a huge role in the ORU situation and the Grassley investigation. Yet rather than looking at this problem from the perspective of the more pragmatic trio of integrity, accountability and transparency, let's look at it from a more biblical perspective. I believe it's time for the church at large to get serious about holiness.

Who's Influencing Whom?

Since the ORU story broke my phone has continually rung with requests for comments by the nation's press. The reason: The organization I represent, the Evangelical Council for Financial Accountability (ECFA), has accredited more than 2,000 evangelical ministries. None of the aforementioned ministries belong to our association. It's by default that I've become a popular spokesman for nonprofit accountability. I've had numerous questions about what I believe Grassley may be after in his inquiry of the six television ministries (I try to answer those). I also get several questions about so-called "prosperity preachers" and their seemingly extravagant lifestyles (I like to avoid those).

In light of the varied questions, I believe it's more important here to address the topic of holiness than the specific inquiries being made by Grassley for two reasons: First, the interrogatories need to be answered by each ministry, and until they are answered, we can only speculate regarding any specific Internal Revenue Service code infraction, penalty or remedy. (As of this magazine's printing, the appointed due date for these ministries, Dec. 6, had not arrived.) Second, there are no specific standards by the government, the IRS, the ECFA or even anywhere in the Bible regarding how much salary is too much, at what price does a vehicle become inappropriate for a minister, or whether ministry leaders should fly coach, first class or on their own private jets.

The Bible does speak, however, about holiness. I remember learning years ago that holiness is about being separate. Not separate from the world, but separated from sin. I've also learned holiness isn't so much about being free from the distractions of the world as being uncorrupted by the things of the world.

When my daughter and son were younger they would challenge me from time to time about the rules their mother and I had placed on them that were meant to keep them from unholy influences. I told them often that although Jesus had the opportunity to eat, visit and fellowship with both saints and sinners, He always had more influence on the people around Him than they had on Him. We should be circumspect of unholy influence.

Unfortunately, in the midst of teaching on prosperity, the tithe and the hundredfold return, many have forgotten the basic understanding of holiness. One of the great expositors of the 19th century, J.C. Ryle, described holiness as "the habit of being of one mind with God , hating what He hates, loving what He loves, and measuring everything in this world by the standard of His Word." In Holiness: Its Nature, Hindrances, Difficulties, and Roots, Ryle wrote that "a holy man will endeavor to shun every known sin and to keep every known commandment. , [He] will follow after temperance and self-denial. He will labor to mortify the desires of his body, to crucify his flesh with his affections and lusts, to curb his passions [and] to restrain his carnal inclinations."

Keeping Things Separate

Though the topic of holiness involves an array of issues, let's hone in on those particular to running a ministry—more specifically, a ministry that has the opportunity to receive large amounts of money from donations given freely and provided a tax receipt.

One of the principles we at ECFA talk about—in fact, we insist on it for ministries that are accredited by ECFA—is that the duties of the board of directors should be separate and distinct from the duties of the chief executive (CEO, president or senior pastor). In addition, we encourage each ministry to hire or secure the services of the best accountant or CPA possible to further separate the rather mundane but extremely important duties of finance, accounting and board governance from the senior leader.

As our churches and ministries grow, we need to allow those with the gift of administration the opportunity to exercise their gift to the extent that God has enabled them (see 1 Cor. 12:28). Pastors usually have numerous gifts, including those of leadership, preaching and teaching, to name a few. Yet pastors really should not be involved in setting their salaries, determining what types of cars the ministry should provide them and various other perks, let alone what the IRS requires regarding documentation on expenses and receipts.

All too often, we hear reports at ECFA from well-qualified, highly competent accountants and CPAs that they are overruled and often overrun by the senior pastor and other ministry leaders. Personal integrity often causes these qualified financial experts to resign rather than knowingly permit unethical practices to continue. Of course, the most uncomfortable situation is when they must deal with founder of a ministry who still runs the day-to-day operations and is accustomed to making all decisions and asking no one for permission to do anything. In these worst-case scenarios there is usually no accountability, no financial disclosure and, most often, a degree of corruption by the world.

Although donors and congregants are often forgiving, neither the IRS nor the Senate Finance Committee wants to see a man or woman fully in charge of any one organization. We find numerous passages in the Bible offering similar advice for a "multitude of counselors" (e.g., Prov. 11:14) and the appointment of elders for leadership and oversight (see Titus 1:5-7; 1 Tim. 3:2).

Senior pastors and other ministry leaders who insist on rejecting the counsel of properly trained accountants and CPAs typically believe they do not need to be accountable to an elder board or an independent board of directors. Yet those who continue to handle financial accountability and transparency via a "seat of the pants" approach are looking for trouble. Being too close to large sums of money is too much of a temptation for most men or women. Those who are wise will seek the counsel of others and find ways to separate themselves from that which would cause them to stumble.

Although we are all disturbed that Christian ministries and churches are currently the subject of government inquiry and public ridicule, I'm prayerful that we can see that "all things work together for good" (Rom. 8:28) through these inquiries. I certainly hope that in the end, many nonprofit and church boards will be strengthened, financial accountability will be improved and transparency enhanced.
An ordained minister, Kenneth Behr is president of the Evangelical Council for Financial Accountability, an oversight and accreditation organization with more than 2,000 Christian nonprofit organization members that represent more than $16 million in revenue.

Kx:
I just consulted a pastor and he said that staying in the marriage
could make such "naked swear swear to have effect on the guy's life" and that
even if he divorces her,the curse may have no effect since the guys' hands are "clean.

I dont know if the pastors position is  entirely true.

The guy spent so much in the course of the mariage ceremony and
but he has resolved to regard the wasted funds as life sacrifice in order to live in peace.
He also indicated that having tasted a sore bitter 2 months marriage,he might as well
remain single for life and get children outside wedlock in the future.

you sure say this is not you?  tell him to wait for 4 more years before he makes his move. some NL women are on their way here.  how old is this girl?  didnt know women still do this satanic thing. where is she from?

he may have to cut his loss. it is poor judgement to keep throwing in more money and waste his life and time

Lagosboy:
@JJyou

honestly you should own up and accept in the light of overwhelming evidence the pastor was ordered to pay £200,000 this is what some people term as fine. In the UK the case could go to the house of lords and that is the next stage where the other lord was talking of 12000. The bottom line is there were financial malpractices by the pastor and he was rebuked by the charity commission.

Your quote is now going against you "how does denial spell in . . . . . . "

there you go. how did you know why the honourable Lord was talking?

i repeat once more if they are theives like you guys want us beleive they are they steal because they are nigerians. you will not find me supporting buying of private jets but what i will not do is allow a lie go unchallenged.

you are claiming ordered to pay the wickipedia report your freind posted earlier said he was ordered to repay. how does that equal a fine in your books.

once more i ask that you go and read the charities commision report and read their next 2 yrs report to see what was put in place as a result of the noble lords outcry over this incident. sad thing is because of this stupidity the charities commission cannot now investigate churches as the law allows because they openly showed unfair bias in their work. i think it is not worth it and that is what precisely the noble lord was getting at. the CC just finished their review sadly they have lost control of many of churches and faith based organisations. you can sit in lagos and think it was worth it but most people in the know think it wrong.

Kx:
I ll appreciate everyones thought on this.
Just 2 months into a marriage,a friend is neck deep in divorce proceedings.
He met her just a year a ago.I guess she gave him the fu-ck of his life and be4 u could
say jack,he has proposed marriage ignoring friends and associates advice not to marry her on the grounds
of her lack of character,"ashawo tendencies" etc.

Just 2months into the "for better for worse",he has gone to his family to "table" the issue of the
wife's irresponsibilitites and excesses.Mind you,they (husband and wife) are adults.

On a one and one interaction with him last weekend,he opened up and gave the following reasons why
d marriage must be discontinued without further delay.

Before their marriage ceremony in December 2008
1. Late last year while they were planning marriage,they discovered that she was pregnant.Against
    the guy's entreaties to keep the baby,she aborted the pregnancy without the guy's consent.

2. Still in 2008 while they were planning for the marriage,they had a quarrel,she rushed to the kitchen,
    picked the knife and stabbed him on his elbow leaving a mark to date to show for it.

3.Still before marriage,they had a fight and she bite him almost chopping off his fifth finger.

4.While they were lying on the bed one saturday,his fone rang.She enquired who the caller was and on discovering that it was
   a lady caller,she reached out and clobbed his eyes with an object,almost blinding him and ran away.

5.Each time she travels to school to check result or something(she has just graduated from  a tertitiary institution) or to the village
   she demands for and is placed on a fixed daily out station allowance.


  After marriage Ceremony

1.She put an end to saluting the father-in-law.

2.She demands unreasonable sums of money irrespective of the guy's fixed monthly income.

3.She demands for sex everyday even when the guy is ill.

4. The guy now run away from the house,on the face of the wife's unreasonable demand for sex,attention
     and money just 2 months into marriage.

5. She  stripped and swore in daylight nudity (more than once) holding her private parts and cursing that,since the guy has
    sucked her brea-st and made love to her genitals,if he ever "crosses" the part of another woman,his life
    will turn miserable and unfortunate from that moment.saying that she did not beg to be married in the first place

These are just a few of his reasons justifying his proposed divorce proceedings in the traditional way.

I adviced him not to rush into divorce but he wont listen.Frankly speaking,he was adviced against the marriage
but he did nt listen. Am bringing this piece for ppls to be advised to take their time in marriage issues.

In conclusion,I 'd appreciate every useful suggestion I can obtain from this forum on what to advice the guy to
do in order to avert the divorce (if possible) especially now that the guy's parents have given him thier support to break up.The girl
is serving (NYSC) now.Many thanks people.

another poor mans ugly daughter. how did your friend inherit this knid of liability?

good luck

huxley:
How delusional Christians can be! AS their god lets them down, the draw closer to him. What is the point of serving such a god if he cannot do anything to help his followers?

you missed your medication this morning again or what?

FBS:
@JJYOU, you beat me to it. 4 years? WHY? WHY? WHY?

lets wait for answers from our dear sister

over half a million pounds was paid out to Ashimolowo's private companies, which were operated from church property and had unclear business relationships with the charity (section 15)
Ashimolowo acted as both a trustee and a paid employee of the charity (section 4)

He was ordered (section 34) to repay £200,000.   is this what you call the fine?

But in a subsequent debate in the House of Lords, [size=13pt]Lord Swinfen questioned the running of the Charity Commission's running of this investigation. He acknowledged the technical breach, but highlighted its openness, "This unincorporated trust has for some years been remunerating its trustees for various services and doing so quite openly. It made the mistake of not realising that it should have altered its constitution explicitly to allow that to be done." He then questioned the cost of the investigation "With some advice from the commission and the use of the charity lawyer, the trustees of this charity could have affected these changes for some £12,000—one-hundredth of the sum the commission has already spent." He added "The commission believes, understandably, that the future success of this charity is assured by the charity having new trustees"[/size].[2]

OYB, once more i do not attend any nigerian church and wont  claim to be their spokes person.  

it would have been nice if you gave me the charities commission report. wickipedia and its likes are not authentic for me.  where was it stated that he was fined as the earlier poster said?    check Lord swinfen's note in the house of Lords again and note his points.

He then questioned the cost of the investigation "With some advice from the commission and the use of the charity lawyer, the trustees of this charity could have affected these changes for some £12,000—one-hundredth of the sum the commission has already spent."

it is now a commonly accepted fact by everyone in the know that the charities commission did a massive cock-up on its kicc investigations.   we may not like kicc and its work but they are still one of the best run black majority church in this country UK.

if you know anything about the english charity laws all the charity commission done was make him and the other trustees richer.  as a result of ignorance they didnt set out in black and white to get paid lawfully renumerated for thier work annually but thanks to the the over zealousness of the same organisation they are all now being paid wages in line with charities their size.

england is not like nigeria where you can steal any charitable money if nothing gets you the paper trail will.  you all have right to condem what you feel is wrong but you dont have right to tell lies.

jojohnson:
Today, why are girls calling a guy a fool because he felt he should keep himself. Many times, most girls that i have come accross in many ways and just like to be friends and influnce them positively in life end up trying to give me sex. And wen i say no, i cant have sex with someone i cant marry, the next thing you hear is MUGU. One even went further to dig her hand inside my trousers to feel if iam really a man. I dont know my respect for women is highly fading for trivializing the most adorable parts of their body. House why cant youths have a purposeful relationships, one girl one guy, and remain virtuos

are you not asking for too much?  

nana:
Err. . .what sorta people do u hang out with?

sad fact is most of the girls you are talking about are only repeating what their mums did without shame in the permisive 70's and 80's.

[size=18pt]Slain Pastor’s Church Says ‘God Is Not Surprised[/size]’
Adrienne S. Gaines News - Featured News
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altMarch 9, 2009 -- An Illinois pastor was killed Sunday when a gunman entered the church and opened fire during the first of three morning worship services.

The Rev. Fred Winters, pastor of First Baptist Church of Maryville, deflected the first of four bullets with his Bible, causing pages to fly "like confetti," witnesses told the Associated Press. After four shots, the man's .45-caliber handgun jammed, and he stabbed himself with a knife and injured two other church members when they tackled the man. One remains hospitalized, while the other has been treated and released.

The gunman, identified by the St. Louis Post-Dispatch as 27-year-old Terry Joe Sedlacek from Troy, Ill., is hospitalized and in police custody. In a previous Post-Dispatch report, Sedlacek claimed to have lyme disease, which he said was a cause of his mental illness.

Church members said they did not recognize the gunman.

Winters, 45, became senior pastor of First Baptist Church in 1987. Since then the church has grown from 32 members to more than 1,200. Winters was also an adjunct professor at Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary and a past president of the Illinois Baptist State Association. Winters is survived by his wife, Cindy, and their two daughters.

The Baptist association's current executive director, Nate Adams, said Winters was "a wonderful, gifted, leading pastor in Illinois, and a dear friend.

"Our great God is not surprised by this, or anything. That He allows evil and free will to have their way in tragedies like this is a mystery in many ways," Adams said in a statement Sunday. "But we know we can trust Him no matter what, and draw close to Him in any circumstances. Let's draw closer to Him and to one another during this terrible tragedy, and renew our faith and obedience to His purposes for however many days we have remaining to serve Him."

Leaders at First Baptist asked those "who believe in the power of prayer" to intercede for the congregation as they cope with the loss of their pastor.

"In this day, where uncertainty seems to abound creating an environment in which people are vulnerable in doing things they might not do otherwise, one thing is certain, we, as human beings need a foundation upon which we can live our lives," worship pastor Mark Jones said. "We at First Baptist Maryville, along with other Christian believers, share this conviction: that foundation is God's Word. In the pages of the Book we call the Bible, we find the pathway for peace, hope, and a quality of living life despite what circumstances we find ourselves in.

"To those who believe in the power of prayer, we covet your prayers right now."


http://charismamag.com/index.php/news/19968-slain-pastors-church-says-god-is-not-surprised?utm_source=MailingList&utm_medium=email&utm_content=mrblessed%40googlemail.com&utm_campaign=Charisma+News+Online+03-10-09



[size=14pt]comment's feed[/size]
cwilly1942 said:
God bless his family
I don't what to say this lightly or unrespectful, but what a honor.losing your life while preaching the gospel.
I can only image how his family is hurting. I would like to tell them you lived in the shadow of a great man.
What a way to go.

Charles Minor


March 10, 2009
Votes: +1
firespeaks said:
Christian Worldview?
When tragic things like this happen we can not resort to acting like the world. in the natural we want to avenge the family of the pastor for this crime but in fact we are still required to be sons and daughters of the All Mighty God.

We can't deal with the enemy with as the world would deal with them,We can't attack a man who lives in darkness, he just won't see the light of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Even to think what about church members carrying guns. What does the law say we are allowed to do to protect ourselves is to fall under the works of the enemy satan attacks us in our thought life. Paul teaches us that what may be legal in the natural may still be unjust in the spiritual. "Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord" and we have got to hold God to his word. Because God is not a man that He should lie or son of man that He should repent, If God says it He will do it.

And when we seek after our own devices to bring about what we feel is justice than we are telling God we just don't have any faith. (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God.

March 10, 2009
Votes: +0
Bachman said:
What about the law of church members now carrying guns to church?
Isn't there some state that wants to allow church members to carry guns to church? And some churches were actually all "gung ho" about the idea.

In this instances, can you imagine everyone pulling out their guns and shooting at the guy and / or one another by mistake?

give her money and if possible the whole family wealth.

Ovamboland:
I will not bother to respond to your quotes one after the other, your response shows that approach is futile as your thinking is only 1-dimensional.
My response is mainly for the benefit of other forumites who may be carried away by your many words which lack indept, introspective, deductive reasoning.
I am not at all suprised shallow minds like you fail to see a connection between addiction and religious zealotry (check meaning online). Long ago some philosopher described religion as a kind of Opium -see the connection now? Remember the Guyana tragedy of Rev Jim Jones infamy where he talked people into WILLINGLY giving up their very lives? What of Davig Koresh? read the details if you care. That just illustrates how unbridled religiosity can lead to doing irrational things.

If Imams incite faithfuls to kill infidels in their sermon i guess it's me you need to blame

Also even where people are free to donate FREELY to charities, it is still goverment perogative to monitor the spending pattern of such charities that it is not misapplied. But yes this is religion and the goverment is handicapped b'cos of our recent politics and history.
But Kobojunkie, the church SHOULD be self accounting and not found making questionable purchases just because it is THEIR money.

As unbelievers take advantage of the poor regulatory structure of our giverment systems, christians should not be found joining in the fray but setting a higher standard of conduct. An example  in the recent experience of Matthew Ashimolow on UK where he was fined for misuse of charity(as  churches are categorised) funds

Just b'cos an activity is lawful does not make it christianly, their is something called morals and ethics.

i am always surprised to see people who are not afraid to lie in an open forum. can you copy and paste here where you read pastor matthew was fined in the charity commissions report. how many times do you repeat a lei for it to become true?

i dont attend his church or adeboyes church but i find it sad you guys have no qualms throwing the baby out with the water. if these guys are as corrupt as some of you are insinuating, can i suggest that it is because they are nigerians. there is something wrong with our psyche that needs to be addressed before we self destroy on a massive scale.