₦airaland Forum

Reference:
iif he is not ready to fundamentally change the country by restructuring but insists on doing the same thing as has we have for 50 years then he is part of the problem.

If you were employed to run a moribund company, in addition to looking at the staff who had run it aground you will also carefully look at the operating environment that made such possible and seek to reorganise things to avoid putting new wine in old wine skin.

Running a hapless country continually in the same manner while complaining about recurrent failure is not foolishness. It is madness.

You're smart. Please I don't mind sharing ideas with you in the near future Sir.

TemmyT002:
My goodness!!!! Nigeria is in trouble!!!

Lol. Be like you just subscribe data.

sweettease:
See her grinning from ear to ear like me

Your 32 be sweeting my belle like tickles

purplecoco:
What’s Dull about females saying No to your offer, why must you feel hurt cause they rejected your offer. They obviously had their reason. I think they are smart for that, given you are an opposite gender. If you really wanna help like you said, offer it to your fellow Guy. Dafuq.

I'm fine oh. This your booty no be here ooo

Badboibipo:
So I live in a three bedroom flat yeah, and I live alone. I decided to give out one of the rooms for free to anybody really in need of accommodation. Alot of fish brains made enquiries but later changed their minds cuz I'm a GUY!!!! Some saw my picture and had the guts to request that we remain friends but are too scared to stay in a house I'm giving for free? We wont be in the same room, u will have ur own key and theres a landlady in the same compound with us that has three grown kids. What am I supposed to do? Break up door at night and rape u when there are neighbors everywhere? I have given up on these people, that's why I only help men nowadays. It's better to help a brother than a girl. Can u imagine?

Where in Lagos is this free room Sir? I can pay monthly for use of same. Thank you

Thatwasepic:
You are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

This is not witchcraft

It is

UndauntedYOCA:
Lol, I only said not to PM me if your intention is to cheat on someone with me. You can PM for any reasonable info you'd like get.
By the way, an aphrodisiac is something to improve your sexual well-being. Say you have PE, vagina dryness, get tired real fast etc, you can take an aphrodisiac.

What if I don't have a Vagina Ma? What if I didn't want to cheat on anyone?

UndauntedYOCA:
Do you know how comments can come back to haunt people? That ethnic bigotry of yours will never help you. If you do not have any reasonable thing to comment then why don't you judiciously use your time to work on your heart. You wish to join the army and you need someone who is connected, well, let's see how that goes.

Babe since you said we should not pm you for love talk. What is an aphrodisiac?

Agbagbaregoo:
I just met this lady and everything seems to be clicking. she just started a business after I gingered her and I had to patronize her. in the course I transferred some money to her to patronize her far more money than she was selling the Stuff so as to encourage her. The bank debited me and I told her I sent it.

Throughout that day she claimed not to have gotten the money. Then throughout the next day same story so the third day I went to the bank to receive the statement of account. lo and behold her name was boldly written and the bank people told me she has gotten it. I got very angry and sent it to her but I didn't tell her anything I just ignored her call.

A policeman asked for her number at the bank that he will question her. throughout these period I ignored her and I was just imagining how a beautiful light skin tender looking babe will behave like this. Then lo and behold today the bank reversed the money. I can't explain the feeling of disappointment.

Now she said she doesn't want to have anything to do with me again that she doesn't want wahala for her life. She finally picked after many trials of calling and she insisted on me leaving her life.she even said she's not doing business again. I don't know what to do.

@Op I no the part of this your story wey dey pain you sha. But you be Mumu. If you like report me to Mod. Your family don finish wey u fit help bah. Your Gees don finish too bah. Light Skin go eventually lead you to Light Kingdom. You even lucky you got your money back. Dundee OP

UndauntedYOCA:
Lol, that's so bold of you.

Ride or Die baby... Ride or Die....

[quote author=PrettyPrint post=89899240][/quote]You're truly pretty if that's you on your profile

UndauntedYOCA:
No you will not! You will never go to prison, you will never be found doing wrong. You'll disappoint him big time if all he does is say negative things to you. You will be a force to reckon with. You'll turn out great. There's power in what we believe. As a child my dad would say that if he died and I wasn't careful that I'd end up poor and married to a poor person as well. Well, he did not mean any harm but I never forgot his words even after he died when I was 12. From the moment he died I always remembered his words and to ensure that they never happen and trust me when I say all I do is profess positive things to myself. There is power in our thoughts and utterances and I believe I am able to manifest anything I want. One time I went to live with some people and the wife had the believe that I'd get pregnant either before going to school or while in school (I wasn't even sexually active o), she just felt cuz I had a big ass, wore trousers that I'd do wrong things but the reverse of all she thought is the case. When people think I can't turn out good I prove them wrong by working on myself and having a positive mindset.
Regardless of what your dad says to you, do not disrespect nor treat him poorly. Stay positive, be good and ensure you do all you can to be a better person than anyone ever thought you'd be. Make yourself count, make yourself proud.
All the best.

I want you

Disclaimer: I AM NOT A SAINT AND MY WIFE IS NOT THE DEVIL. I HAVE JUST BEEN UNFORTUNATE TO BECOME A VICTIM OF MATRIARCHY WHICH MANY MEN SUFFER ABROAD...

I have been hustling abroad for a few years while wifey was working in Nigeria and living with children. Marriage has always been turbulent and we even almost got divorced after I travelled out. We somehow worked on our issues with the help of pastors, family and friends, and after a few years of ''roughing'' it abroad to pave way for them, I finally succeeded and my family arrived a few months ago.

I used to be hot tempered, but I have had enough time to gain insight into my inadequacies and reflect on them. I am now significantly calmer due to the determination to make my marriage better and as per ''abroad levels''. My wife on the other hand is fully taking advantage of me and the environment we find ourselves in. First thing she did on getting here was to cut of my entire family. She said she doesn't want to have anything to do with any of them anymore. She has also not been too keen to kickstart her career, as all she does is endless picture taking and editing for social media hyping. I know this might be due to the initial ''euphoria'' phase cos she is coming abroad to a big house, big car and having no limits on most things we used to manage back in Nigeria, and she thinks things are bread and butter. You would never think for a second that she is a married woman if you check her profiles on social media!

She has become even more toxic person than she ever was in Naija. Now very bossy, never backs down, always the attacker, ever ready for a fight, lazier, always on social media, communicates with me as little as possible, embarrasses me in the neighbourhood with the constant noises from our house, and finally her threats have now tripled! Madam is now so fierce that I have become the house chicken. Just within a few months of being here o! She tells me that she will show me for all the ''gra gra'' I used to do back in Nigeria. Friends advised me against bringing this woman here but I no wan hear word as per responsible family man wey I dey claim to be.

The popular threat is usually ''I will end your career''. I wasn't taking this too seriously initially, but she then started following through with the threats by constant calls to the police and other services, making spooky and baseless career ending accusations and allegations against me.

I have never been the one to first lay my hands on her, but I have spilled drinks on her before when she attacked me. My wife now gets very physical without having any element of self control, fear or restraint after the simplest argument and sometimes, she damages things out of anger. She does this so often and never hesitates to dare me to do my worst.

I discovered that she has signed up on dating sites and when I even caught her chatting about sex to a particular guy in our area, she said that it was all my fault. She did not apologise for this. She even referred to it one time after an argument that if I am convulsing like this over just a sex chat, she's waiting to see what I'd do when I see a man on top of her.

My productivity at work has declined significantly and I am now on the verge of depression. Neighbours called the police on us one time after a lot of noise from out house. She accused me of domestic violence. The police had to separate us and I was stuck at home for an extended period and could not go to work due to this. I am now being investigated for domestic violence, which is a serious crime as madam wants it and I have had to report the situation to my company! The whole thing is so messy that I am scared that I have not seen the worst yet.

I am so afraid of losing it all and returning to Nigeria broke cos I spent my last card and even racked credit card debt to bring them here hoping to pay off gradually. I still have a few years to get my citizenship and if I lose my job now, that is the end for all of us!

For now, I don't know what is going to happen to us, as this woman is so determined to cause great and irreparable damage that could ruin our lives, just to get back at me and she is being cheered on by her family and friends.

THE SITUATION IS SO MESSED UP!

UPDATE:

Divorce has now been filed. I also recently got lucky as I was able to secure a restraining order when she messed up again and hit me daring me to do my worst. I called the police and made a proper case and she was arrested. She has been banned from the house for a month. The police advised me to talk to my lawyer and extend indefinitely if I want to. I hope to get this done ASAP. The law here does not only protect women but also protects innocent men. All you need is patience and wisdom. Thank you all for your ideas. Still several hurdles to cross but I am on the winning side for now.

If you can find a trustworthy ally to start helping you set up in Nigeria, you better do so. If you want to be deceived na you know ooo. That woman is taking over. Take it or Leave it. Person wey you suppose leave for Naija jeje.

chillybrandy:
[I wish I can give you 1000 likes
You just hit the nail on the head sr.

As a man, a father and a grandfather. I have lived life to an extent and this is my view on this subject.

The previous thread was simple and concise, "Never marry a woman who has no means of income".

But that is the truth!

Gone are the days when people marry "Obiageri's" according to the Igbos.
Back then, things weren't this bad. Considering the family setting in those days, women had no other role than to cook, birth, raise children and clean the house.

So their parents prepare them for marriage, teach them how to cook, satisfy a man and raise children. They also spend alot of time grooming their hairs, taking care of their skin (Some parents send their children to fattening rooms) and waiting to get married.

When we got married, we married to keep them at home and show off to our friends. Only a few of us married because of love. Some of our partners were not our choice but our parents.

So when you marry, your wife and children should always reflect your wealth and networth. Most especially, YOUR WIFE.

I repeat, back then things were not this bad and everyone knew their roles.

But in today's world, so many things have changed.

Women should bring to the table as much as they expect from the man.

Raising children costs alot of money and shouldn't be the responsibility of the man alone.

So many marriages have crashed on the alter of poverty or "One stream of income".

We must learn to tell ourselves the truth always.

Back then, you don't spend so much to raise a child. If he or she wants to go to the community school or follow the white man's way of life, you send them as a punishment. But those humble and loyal sons, follow you to the farm and when they come of age, you give them farmlands and wives if possible. But that's not the case anymore.

Apart from formal education abroad, I also encouraged my children to learn sellable skills. One of my son is a fashion designer and that is what puts food on his table in the UK. His college degree only reflects on his call cards.

I told this to my children (Daughters inclusive) never to marry a man or woman who has no verifiable means of income.

Money is needed to run a home in the 21st century. Alot of money!

We no longer live in mud houses or drink from pots.

As for "Entitlement", I think every couple should have that mentality depending on the context.

The man is entitled to his wife's emotional commitment. She is his wife and this also applies to the man.

I am tired of typing.

To be truthful, i warned my son's against mingling with an average African woman. They simply don't want to know the truth. They hate the truth with Passion and that is why true feminism failed woefully here.

In the Diaspora, most men who want peace of mind avoid African women because of their "Entitlement Mentality" and how exploitative they are.

Many of these women don't work but enjoy proceeds of child support from numerous partners. You think it's a coincidence? No it not. It was deliberate.

They just want to seat at home, get fat, enlarge their butts and walk up and down the street like a pussy cat that resides in Buckingham Palace.

Should I talk about Nigeria, where you meet an average Nigerian lady and realise that;

1. She is a college graduate because a "Man" sponsored her in school (Both of them are no longer together as a couple).

2. She has a roof over her head because a "Man" made that available (She has no intention of marrying him).

3. She uses the best smartphone because a "Man" bought it for her (Just another random man).

4. She has clothes on her body because a "Man" gave her money for shopping (Obviously he is "One of those mugus".

5. She has food on her table because so many men send her money.

This same woman has no other skill but sexual skills. The only thing she can offer is "Sexual Intercourse", "Birthing Children" and "Companionship" but she expects the man to "Mark her birthdays with a brand new Escalade", "Buy her parents a new house and train her younger ones in school". Is that not exploitation?

This same woman hates her mother inlaw because she sees her as her rival. Anyway, women have always hated themselves from time immemorial, don't get moved when you see them shout in solidarity, it's just for a few seconds.

When asked about their contribution in the relationship or Marriage, some will say "I birthed children for him". But that's your natural default woman!

Even if you sleep with a sexually active mad man, you will get pregnant and birth for him.

Some will even say, "I satisfy him sexually. I gave him my body and soul". But that is same thing you did with your numerous ex lovers.

According to Pastor Sam Adeyemi, he said "If a woman does not help her husband financially, then how else does she want to help him".

In this age and time, it takes two adults who have a verifiable means of income to build a healthy family.


Cheers!

You're beautiful on ur dp.

KingSatan:
As a man, a father and a grandfather. I have lived life to an extent and this is my view on this subject.

The previous thread was simple and concise, "Never marry a woman who has no means of income".

But that is the truth!

Gone are the days when people marry "Obiageri's" according to the Igbos.
Back then, things weren't this bad. Considering the family setting in those days, women had no other role than to cook, birth, raise children and clean the house.

So their parents prepare them for marriage, teach them how to cook, satisfy a man and raise children. They also spend alot of time grooming their hairs, taking care of their skin (Some parents send their children to fattening rooms) and waiting to get married.

When we got married, we married to keep them at home and show off to our friends. Only a few of us married because of love. Some of our partners were not our choice but our parents.

So when you marry, your wife and children should always reflect your wealth and networth. Most especially, YOUR WIFE.

I repeat, back then things were not this bad and everyone knew their roles.

But in today's world, so many things have changed.

Women should bring to the table as much as they expect from the man.

Raising children costs alot of money and shouldn't be the responsibility of the man alone.

So many marriages have crashed on the alter of poverty or "One stream of income".

We must learn to tell ourselves the truth always.

Back then, you don't spend so much to raise a child. If he or she wants to go to the community school or follow the white man's way of life, you send them as a punishment. But those humble and loyal sons, follow you to the farm and when they come of age, you give them farmlands and wives if possible. But that's not the case anymore.

Apart from formal education abroad, I also encouraged my children to learn sellable skills. One of my son is a fashion designer and that is what puts food on his table in the UK. His college degree only reflects on his call cards.

I told this to my children (Daughters inclusive) never to marry a man or woman who has no verifiable means of income.

Money is needed to run a home in the 21st century. Alot of money!

We no longer live in mud houses or drink from pots.

As for "Entitlement", I think every couple should have that mentality depending on the context.

The man is entitled to his wife's emotional commitment. She is his wife and this also applies to the man.

I am tired of typing.

To be truthful, i warned my son's against mingling with an average African woman. They simply don't want to know the truth. They hate the truth with Passion and that is why true feminism failed woefully here.

In the Diaspora, most men who want peace of mind avoid African women because of their "Entitlement Mentality" and how exploitative they are.

Many of these women don't work but enjoy proceeds of child support from numerous partners. You think it's a coincidence? No it not. It was deliberate.

They just want to seat at home, get fat, enlarge their butts and walk up and down the street like a pussy cat that resides in Buckingham Palace.

Should I talk about Nigeria, where you meet an average Nigerian lady and realise that;

1. She is a college graduate because a "Man" sponsored her in school (Both of them are no longer together as a couple).

2. She has a roof over her head because a "Man" made that available (She has no intention of marrying him).

3. She uses the best smartphone because a "Man" bought it for her (Just another random man).

4. She has clothes on her body because a "Man" gave her money for shopping (Obviously he is "One of those mugus".

5. She has food on her table because so many men send her money.

This same woman has no other skill but sexual skills. The only thing she can offer is "Sexual Intercourse", "Birthing Children" and "Companionship" but she expects the man to "Mark her birthdays with a brand new Escalade", "Buy her parents a new house and train her younger ones in school". Is that not exploitation?

This same woman hates her mother inlaw because she sees her as her rival. Anyway, women have always hated themselves from time immemorial, don't get moved when you see them shout in solidarity, it's just for a few seconds.

When asked about their contribution in the relationship or Marriage, some will say "I birthed children for him". But that's your natural default woman!

Even if you sleep with a sexually active mad man, you will get pregnant and birth for him.

Some will even say, "I satisfy him sexually. I gave him my body and soul". But that is same thing you did with your numerous ex lovers.

According to Pastor Sam Adeyemi, he said "If a woman does not help her husband financially, then how else does she want to help him".

In this age and time, it takes two adults who have a verifiable means of income to build a healthy family.


Cheers!

Flesh and Blood could not have revealed this to you. You're truly Special Sir

sisisioge:
I'm not gonna read...just leave for Canada biko. Federal job ke!

Imagine he said Federal Job. I thought he will say he is a Governor or Senator. Federal Job. My mother has been in federal job for 30 years. Her only achievement is sending us her children to mediocre educational institutions we have here. Certificate wey dem no regard anywhere in the Western World. @Op even if your village people call ur number today I will hang up on your behalf

softplace:
believe me as a tech person doing well in Nigeria, i still want to move abroad and just in a dilemma

if i should stay or go

By God grace i earn between #300 to #500k in a month but still feel i should move

i would be 27 this year sha

i almost had a job in canada but lost it because i dont save my projects on git that was what the company asked me but didnt have it to prove i did them

Bros give away no be bad idea ooo. Considering as we dey so

NDakota:
The career dilemma...

Many years ago I was where you are now.

I took the road less traveled. I settled for a career in Nigeria.

I got a job in a Big 4. Then moved on to an FMCG, where the perks are much higher!

On education, I got chartered, and I'm finishing n MBA.

On family, I got married to my best friend from University, and I just made my first baby.

Do I regret not moving to the US to join my mom, a US citizen?

I do. Every. Single. Minute.

Why? Nigeria is a very uncertain place to stay and thrive. You could be up there in the sky today and the next week you're back on the mud. In a country of many poor people, you run the risk of becoming a victim of crime due to envy...post COVID-19 it'll get worse.

Look at you at 30. You're dithering. You're pussyfooting.

Look at me at 28. I still regret the mistake my 25 year old self made. I'm pushing daily to leave Nigeria.

I want to leave not because I'm broke in Nigeria, but the collective poverty in this country scares me...

Most crimes committed today are more out of envy and hunger than of greed.

If you can, please run. For your SAFETY!

@Op if you ignore this comment and keep waiting for God to speak from Heaven, na sorry be your case ooo. Nothing and I repeat Nothing is worth staying in Nigeria for if you have the opportunity to migrate to a serious minded country. No let your village people win this battle ooo. Leave and help some of us that don't have any family there. You can be a Ladder to many people ooo. Leave their stupid and useless Federal Job ooooooo. I warn you ooooooo

NDakota:
The career dilemma...

Many years ago I was where you are now.

I took the road less traveled. I settled for a career in Nigeria.

I got a job in a Big 4. Then moved on to an FMCG, where the perks are much higher!

On education, I got chartered, and I'm finishing n MBA.

On family, I got married to my best friend from University, and I just made my first baby.

Do I regret not moving to the US to join my mom, a US citizen?

I do. Every. Single. Minute.

Why? Nigeria is a very uncertain place to stay and thrive. You could be up there in the sky today and the next week you're back on the mud. In a country of many poor people, you run the risk of becoming a victim of crime due to envy...post COVID-19 it'll get worse.

Look at you at 30. You're dithering. You're pussyfooting.

Look at me at 28. I still regret the mistake my 25 year old self made. I'm pushing daily to leave Nigeria.

I want to leave not because I'm broke in Nigeria, but the collective poverty in this country scares me...

Most crimes committed today are more out of envy and hunger than of greed.

If you can, please run. For your SAFETY!

@Op if you ignore this comment and keep waiting for God to speak from Heaven, na sorry be your case ooo. Nothing and I repeat Nothing is worth staying in Nigeria for if you have the opportunity to migrate to a serious minded country. No let your village people win this battle ooo. Leave and help some of us that don't have any family there. You can be a Ladder to many people ooo. Leave their stupid and useless Federal Job ooooooo. I warn you ooooooo.

moscobabs:
I was in your shoe before,I exposed them but the result didn't end well.

Send private message to your madam to invite Auditor to your company,then help Auditor to unravel the loopholes.

This is the best advice @ Op. Naija no be where dem dey snitch openly ooo

purplecoco:
Marriage is never meant to be perfect, but it’s always good to prepare yourself for the challenges. People nowadays marry for the wrong reasons, hence why their marriage is going downhill and putting that pressure on you.

You're a cutie

purplecoco:
Marriage is never meant to be perfect, but it’s always good to prepare yourself for the challenges. People nowadays marry for the wrong reasons, hence why their marriage is going downhill and putting that pressure on you.

You're a cutie

Judolisco:
What if ur boss is a nairalander, u Don lose ur job bdat didinrin

Looooool. This one self dey sha

PapaNnamdi:
Op, I was once in your shoes,
and I will tell u point blank
a time will come when she will be infuriated by ur presence, that is if u don't dance to her tune,


so I will just say this,
if you don't fucc her, u will loose the job


if u fucc her u may or may not loose the job,



I will advice u fucc her well, and start looking for another job, or saving money for business

Listen to this man. Whatever the case you will have to satisfy her either way. I suggest you tactically replace yourself with someone who doesn't mind the game. If you're smart enough to do that though. Cause it's easier said than done

ihutuluv:
This is the exact same issue I am currently facing. I really regret this marriage. Mine is so bad that they even share his clothes. How can you a married man, you youngest brother every little thing one excuse or the other can I use this cloth?
I feel more terrible because this young man has laboured for over ten years earning well with nothing attached to his name but training children that his parents gave birth to and can not raise. I am always scared because anything happens to him I also don't have savings because I have used everything to take care of the house while he is busy taking care of siblings.

When they tell you people to date and court even go dey form spirikoko. Now you will carry your cross gallantly

Anni3e:
Hi, I have been married for 9 years now, the problem I have with my husband is that his family members keep sucking him dry and the way he neglects us his immediate family.

He is the first child of 7 children, his siblings even the married ladies keep asking him for money. He keeps spending money on them and their husbands. His brothers keep crying they are broke, they keep leeching off him.

His two junior brothers that always ask him for money, one of them built a house in Port Harcourt and the other one built a big house in the village. Still they won't let him rest.

His married sisters are the worst. If they cough they would call him to send money, every minor thing they would expect money. Just this evening his sister called him to ask for money. We don't have a house of our own, I keep telling my husband to stop giving in to all their demands and invest the money on something, he would say I am turning him against his family.

We have 2 kids and I have told him we need to start saving for their future, I pay the electricity bill, foodstuffs, and most times the children school fees, he pays the house rent and rarely keeps money for home upkeep, he sometimes drops two thousand and that's it for the whole week. He always complains he has no more, but once his family calls him he sends money immediately.

I have saved enough to buy a land and I am not planning to include his name in the property. I don't know what to deal with, his family entitlement mentality or the way he neglects the kids and I and treat us like outsiders.

I am really pissed off and tired.

Sorry for the long post.

You're still waiting for your husband to start saving or investing. Wake up oh. The only people who are likely to lose out most here are you and your children.

LordShiva97:
Spreading unsubstantiated and potentially harmful conspiracy theories is now the same thing as "spreading the gospel"?
The length sheeple like you will go, to defend your fraudulent pastors is both shocking and appalling at the same time. You even had to question his Christianity because to your chagrin, he rightly said the truth.

No mind them. Sheepie must follow Sheeper. Even to the grave

desiredhome:
What do you mean by he should keep quiet even when they are wrong? are you for real?

These are the Zombies we're surrounded by everywhere in Nigeria. And we want the country to improve.

ekestic1976:
But that's exactly what you said! It is still up there undeleted.

No mind am. He needs Jerry Curl Pastor to also teach him Use of English Language

symbianDON:
the UK government should not forget to sanction the internet too...so that viewers won't watch via internet....foolish people!! the church is on the march and no one can stop the church! everyone who calls himself a Christian and is quick to judge, insult and castigate the church of Christ is a wolf in sheep's clothing and will reap the fruits of their actions in the fullness of time.

Sheeeeeepiiiiieeeeee

omonnakoda:
You are the secretary if the kingdom of God?You keep the membership list ? You are delusional

You dey mind the sheeple ni

Faithful4real:
Is your opinion even when they are wrong i prefer to keep quiet. Please don't say things because of like and share on nairaland.

I know those things release dopamine in the body.

Everybody will not be a coward like you Sir.

Ningen:
You didn't scold your girlfriend; the one with the terrible anger issues but scolded your mother??

Chei! Your ancestors must be whirling in pain.

Keep tolerating her “anger”.

She'll put it to good use oneday and strike sense into your head, then you'll know it's time to RUN.

It'll end in tears.

The Op is Physically, Spiritually and Mentally Mad