MzJackBaueress:
hahahahahahahaha!!!

Wetin Jona do u?

gistmelove:
Hmmmm @op mine na real long story ooo..

Oya make i start..
Na one tuff exam we dey rty that day..
Engr math 3, boizz don carry expo full for pocket.. Unto say dem don inform us say the question don links.. Na em we reach exam hall.. U cant believe wetin happen.. Single question no dy the expo we we carry enter...

Jus guess wetin boiz do.. Na em we prepare our own question and write the expo wey we carry come exam hall, the examiner come near me:.. Check my ans booklet and ask.. Guy wey do u see dis ur own question.. I told him simply i prepared it on my own @least na still engr math question now.. Come see laugh for inside hall...

Thank God d leacturer free us... @least e gv us 1 for the course...


May Almighty God forgive us oooo

kai!!!! this is one of the funniest post i ve read on Nairaland....I don laf so tey tears dey commot for my eyes

point of correctio: Owerri people do not speak Ibeku. Only IBEKU people in Umuahia North LGA of Abia State speak Ibeku dialect

Kizyte:
Visit hotels and restaurants and discuss with their management on the supply of food items. If you're given the opportunity, then you'll make a good profit out of it cos it's gonna be a constant supply with a constant profit.

Better still, if you have bigger capital, get registered and start importing oil from Qatar. But note that the profit might turn your head cos it's gonna be Millions of Dollar profit.

What kind of oil will you import that Nigeria doesnt have? Pls if dont mind i will like u to shed more light on this...tnx

makzeze:
The earlier the better. That state Minister of a thing dont add any value. Just a waste of state resources.

Job for the "boys". They have to settle the boys one way or the other

DickDastardly:
BOLA TINUBU ...... FINANCE MINISTER

only if he can declare his assets

The US should have learnt by now that the destiny of Nigeria is in God's hands. Our God dissappoints the devices of the crafty so that their hands do not perform their enterprise

Rawani:
The writer obviously didn't want the list to be strictly a PDP affair so he had to smuggle in the name of the Campaign Director of possibly the most successful, innovative and paradigm-shifting presidential campaign in African history, one which brought down Africa's largest party and midwifed the first-time-ever defeat of an incumbent President. In my book, a man in line to be appointed either [b]SGF Or Minister of Petroleum [/b]after achieving all these is nothing but a winner.

Amechi may not get any of the bolded posts above. GMB has something up his sleeves

barcanista:
oga you don't just wake up to cut down or increase the pump price of pms. This has to do with increasing or decreasing the % of government for the subsidy(as the case may be). In the petroleum sector, we have the problem of cabals that import the product and charges the government. These cabals work in tandem with civil servants and other public servants that are in their payroll to ensure that they get their way. If government is to cut the pump price, it means it has to increase %earnings of the cabals to make up for the citizens. Now considering the fall in global oil price and how it affected our revenue, and the effect it will have on our relative scarce resources, do you think increament in the subsidy is feasible?

The only solution is total removal BUT you have to put paliatives in place to reduce the resultant pains(whicj will be temporary) and then build refineries to be run by private firms or jointly wt government(considering how we poorly manage our own). The problem here is that the same cabals will do all within their powers to sabotage the effort to build refineries. Also, the public income may not be able to service it, the option left will be loan-which comes with its resultant effect. What happens "if" the money is mismanaged or diverted?

Importantly, how feasible will this be considering the numerous "unrealistic" social programs/proposals of the Buhari incoming administration?

The cabals you are talking about are not faceless. no group of persons no matter how powerful will hold this country to ransom anymore!!!!

hucienda:
President Jonathan has indeed set a precedent for politicians across the divide not only in Nigeria but in Africa as well.

Congratulations El-Rufai. Great Sportsmanship Yero.

Don't forget that Dr. Fayemi of Ekiti state did same before Jonathan

Adefaze:
quoted wike speech on LIVE television

In a sane society people like Wike have no business aspiring for positions of responsibilty. i can't believe somebody who wants to govern a state will make such statement.Am sure if Wike were in Jonathan's shoes he would have acted otherwise and this country would probably have been at war. let it be known that it is only God who dethrones and enthrones kings....

searay:
My personal letter to the Oba of Lagos. Dear Oba i can assure you that the igbos are ready for their self defence and survival at any time. I can also assure you that no igbo man will ever get drowned in the lagoon because another igbo man will be selling life jackets there. And ofcourse if its too costly ,i trust my ijaw brothers to be on standby with free rescue things. Infact i trust our prayers that we are ready to do moses things,and the lagoon will dry like desert after Jimi is declared winner. Lastly, we hereby adopt Mr Jimi Agbaje and as a result he is now JIMINWA AGBAJEZE

Very creative!!!!!

Bulkfella:
Good day people of God,
I'm a guy of 26 years old and I love God. I attend a well renowned bible believing church. I was brought up in the way of the Lord, I'm even a church worker. The problem is I have been living a life of rising and falling initially it was masturbation it took me series of fastings and prayers before God delivered me, I never believed I could stop it, but miraculously He saved me from it. Now its immorality, I started off as patronizing Halot houses, now I'm into wooing ladies and inviting them to my house just for the purpose of sleeping with them, this negative trend is giving me cause for concern as regards my stand with God I need help and encouragement as well as a permanent solution to this problem. thank you.

@op , pls carry out spiritual mapping of your foundation. Who is your father? did he or does he manifest what you are going through now?
The answers to the above will guide you on how to pray. Be assured that Jesus is able to heal, save and deliver. If you have not been baptised in the Holy Ghost please earnestly pray for it.

Am telling you all thses because i was once worse than you but today d Lord has put a new song in mouth. Believe me, it will come to a point in your life when you will no longer have appetite for immorality.

May the Lord help and bless u.

RobinHez:

Brother, u still haven't answered me! Was the law given when Abraham paid his tithe? Remember Abraham was called the father of Faith (believing without seeing)

Abraham also made animal sacrifices n married more than one wife.Since you want to imitate what Abraham did go ahead and do all that.Look my dear, Abraham paid tithe out of d spoils of war n NOT from his wealth n he did that ONLY once!!!!! Why are we making a doctrine out of this? Why are choosing only the part of the law that deals with finances only? If you uphold the law of tithe, u should also stone the adulterer, ur wife who is menstruating must not go to church etc..please let's repent from this scam called tithe n preach the gospel!!!

Nigeria can only do well as a nation if we practice true federalism. We need to make the center less attractive hence nobody will lobby for political appointments. Again it's my vie we do away with godfatherism in Nigerian politics n get "rid" of certain "powerful" individuals for this country to move forward

Not when tax payers money is being looted by some greedy individuals n their cronies. Sacrifice my foot!!!!

Unfortunately, the oba fails to understand that you CANNOT intimidate an Igbo man. Dare an Igbo man at your own peril!!!

kaima1984:
good question, u are really on point

don't worry madam, that cannot happen anymore bc the Nigerian Army just told us they have"miraculously" found his certificate after GEJ lost the election.

Don't forget GEJ told the world in 2011 he was not going for a second term in office. A true hero would have stood by that promise no matter the pressure. The loss to GMB, the determination of Nigerians, the voting pattern could not be contested. Thank God he followed the path of honour.

The people they gave the contract to protect these pipelines are not doing the job they are paid for. Now that a group claims responsibility for the attacks, i expect the contractor to go after this group and deal with them if not the said contract has to be probed

suwailad:
who gives a damn!

Donald ekpo should take up highlife music as he is jobless
Because it is only in highlife music you can call
mysterious names that people don't even know

lolz.....u get bad mouth..oooo

oluwafemi113:
I need to share this information l got from a reliable source.
We should thank God for using Kofi Anan, General Abubakar and Thabo
Mbeki of South Africa to persuade Jonathan to concede defeat on time
& shut down hawks around him who would have Nigeria burn down instead of allowing Buhari to take over.
The gentlemen were at Hilton hotel and General Abubakar instructed
some one at the collating center to inform him when it is mathematically impossible for Jonathan to win. And so, the moment Delta state was announced the man called General Abubakar who swiftly moved to Aso Rock with the two other men, and they
persuaded Jonathan that since it was impossible for him to win now, he should please call Buhari to congratulate him for the sake of peace in Nigeria.
The moment Patience Jonathan heard that she started shouting that
Jonathan should not do it, that how can dey hand over to Almanjiri
people? At that point Kofi Anan begged her and Jonathan went on to call Buhari, and they quickly leaked it out to the Press.
lt was revealed that it was Patience Jonathan that sent Orubebe to
scatter the Collation Centre!
May God deliver us from bad spouses

Wow!!!! how true could this be pls?

If true, then God is really in control of the affairs of this great nation!!!

Syphax:
OP,so you expect me to read that shit up posted?Why do some guys like studying girls like books?

I would rather read psalm 119 than read that stuff u posted!

lolz @ psalm119....Nairaland get xters no be small....chai laf wan kill me

cuteboy2:
For all practical purposes, even though the results are still being collated, I am deeply convinced that General Buhari will win this election by a very comfortable margin.

It is also my believe that President Jonathan will graciously concede defeat in a very mature and rancour free manner. He will not contest the results in court even though his acolytes and party men will stridently want him to. I believe, GEJ does not want to leave office looking like a sore loser.

Having said all these, it is safe to say that the 2015 Presidential Elections has been won and lost.

The elections are over!!!

What then will be the likely composition of General Buhari's cabinet? From keen observations of Buhari's campaign organisation, Buhari's utterances during the campaigns, and the actions and activities of various key actors in Gen Buhari's camp, I believe the following will either be in his cabinet or play key roles in his government.

It is obvious from Buhari's utterances during the campaigns that he will run a government whose policy direction and key economic decisions will be dictated by " a team". He kept harping on this.

The possible names are:

• Dr Kayode Fayemi (former governor of Ekiti State)
• Senator Olorunimbe Mamora (he vacated his senate seat for Remi Tinubu, Sen Tinubu's wife)
• Gov Raji Babatunde Fashola
• Abike Dabiri (former member House of Representatives)
• Baba Ahmed (former Ambassador, and former INEC Secretary)
• Gov Rotimi Amaechi
• Gov Rabiu Musa Kwankwanso (he is contesting a senatorial seat, but could likely accept a cabinet post)
• Prince Tonye Princewill (LP governorship candidate in Rivers State)
• Ben Akubueze (former MD NAL Merchant Bank, and Hon Commissioner for Economic Planning and Budget in Lagos State)
• Dr Adesina Akinwumi (Minister of Agriculture in Jonathan’s cabinet)
• Dr Chris Ngige (senator, and former governor of Anambra State)
• Oby Ezekwesili

Pat Utomi should also be on the list as the co-ordinating minister of the economy

ayo26:
I just thought about it lately. What would happen if Jega becomes EFCC chairman in Buhari's regime? Do you think he'd perform or not?

Jega is not a police officer...check the constitutional requirements for who becomes EFFC chairman

micbreezy7:
This party called "AA"should have just stayed as a blood group.....

Kai!! Nairaland Una no go kill person

Roland17:


That honestly would be the greatest torture he would suffer..lol, they were overtly confident about this elections, no one needs a soothsayer to predict what Nigerians want.

2015 is a mysterious and dribbling year ---Dr.D.K. Olukoya

BizBayo:


bro, its not like i don't know . I understand what u're saying. But the thing is the govt needs to put some things in place before doing such thing. But bet me bro, i understand what u're talking about.

ok bro..am glad u know

BizBayo:



Brother, na true u talk o. If this man should enter 1usd to 1ngr go sweet my belle. I remember an instance once told me by one elderly man. He said back in those days, they used to go to Italy over the weekend and come back before monday or tuesday. Because the conversion rate then was the same to purchase flight fees. Can't wait to have such instance back.

U would be able to even buy more than canon 5d, walahi. Make the man just do am if he enters.

if u know a little bit of Economics u wouldn't wish that bc it means our economy will be import dependent.

ibnbazz:
That guy was all smiles yesterday but just changed this morning. I smell fish

remember he said they approached Jega quietly but he refused. Maybe Jega refused their offer

ComradeAbu:
You 'TIT' FOR ME for 'TAT' !
If you Enugu me I will Kano you
If you Akwa Ibom me I will Kaduna you
If you Rivers me I will Katsina you
If you Anambra me I will Jigawa you
If you Abia me I will Kebbi you
If you Delta me I will Sokoto you
If you Plateau me I will Osun you
If you Ekiti me I will Kogi you
If you Abuja me I will Ogun you
If you Imo me I will Oyo you
If you Nasarawa me I will Ondo you...
AND ..even Kwara you before 10am tomorrow!
Then...if you Otuoke me, I will really 'Daura you for ever!

Nigerians are sure very creative!!!!