₦airaland Forum

Nigerian youths have to start thinking productively beyond this show.
Its to wake up and get busy making money see how nigerians are making money from home https:///yjyrdp8z

Honourably move on with your life don't give your heart to someone who has no regards for you. The worst you can do is to force a relationship or force love. Reciprocity or mutuality is the word. The babe you are worried over is crying for another dude. Foolish Girls psychology is wired differently the one who loves them, the cheat on him, treat him badly. When you show a woman you love her, you have relenquish power to her to do what she can do to you at will. When a man loves his vulnerability is exposed and a foolish immature girl will take him for a cruise, not untill later she realized she had a gem and lost him.
Mature ladies treat you differently because they understand what love is and how to recieve and appreciate it.
You are with someone who has no regards or cares about you. To her you are just one of those things. There is a way you handle a lady show her you love her but also show her if she mess up you will ditch her. I did that to one of my ex she cried her life out, I cut her off and her family, my last ex I did do same to her she was shocked as well she thought I would never or I could never do such to her.
Understand that you are the price, woman wey you go marry put for house and feed her na you go come dey drink Panadol.
Man up man. My current girlfriend dares not do some nonsense arround me, she did somethings I told her bluntly this will be the last time she would do such and it has not repeated itself, last night I brought her attention to something she was like she is very sorry about that.
Onces a woman or lady looses respect for you she has lost love for you, you don't need to worry about trying to impress her because doing so you all end up spending yourself, emotionally, physically, financially and otherwise and still in the end she will dump you. Ladies connect their sustained love to a guy base on respect, the more she can respect you for you, she knows you can't be treated anyhow the more she can be able to handle fact that even though she knows you love her she can't just mess arround you.
Your girlfriend abandoned your birthday and decided not to come see you. Op candid advice move on you deserve better.
She no seemed you... She is not dating you oooo...

You are saying the story dies not add up.. this happened to me exactly when my ex Left me some weeks to introduction we were already in premarital counseling when she left and even got pregnant for the dude because she felt he was richer than me. I had spent money I did so much but I had to move on with my life and let her be. God will judge that's all I said and I can tell you I have already started seeing things happening.
Some ladies think they are smart in this life and can do anyhow to anyone.
Life is a seed becareful what you sow. You may not be the one that will reap it in the interim but your seeds can leave to reap what they did not sow by themselves.
Even bible talk am, while the earth remains, seed time and harvest .... Shall not Gen8:22.
Many ladies and very foolish, a love that bails out on you when another better offer comes was never love, she will also bail out in the better offer when the offer is no longer flowing.
I Know of a pretty lady who was busy chopping Young men money and thinking she is smart... Today me to I was shock d kind of person she eventually ended with... Life is a seed becareful what you sow.

VladimirPutiin:



Who else feels this story doesn’t add up

How will you cancel your wedding because you met a rich dude in a space of two weeks ?

But again some women have fish brains so it might be true.

This story really touched me ... Because I was in the very exact shoes this OP is in right now and it ended in tears, loss, wreckage and financial set back. In the end I discovered that this my ex got pregnant for another and now they are married, probably because she felt he has more money than I. She left me at the point I lost everything and began to show me attitudes and even added insult to it. This girl my ex insulted life out if me and even gave me a wound scar that's an everlasting Mark on my hand. Anytime I see that scar it reminds me if the ordeal I went through with this girl in the name of love.
I had to let go when I realized this girl does not love me and never loved me, she only came for the money and when it was gone she bailed out on me.
I can emphatically tell you her family drained me,I lost 2.4m because of this girl, she got married to a guy with Benz and was mocking me, the guy she was secretly seeing while we were already in premarital counseling about to marry. That girl caused me pained, emotional torture I had to go back to class room to start teaching while praying to God for a better job. From a guy that had over 2.4m in his account to a guy who was struggling with 18k teaching salary and sometimes we were not even paid.i became very emaciated also thought of ending it all. But God in his Mercy had a better plans for me. I moved on and let her be, her mum supported her in all her actions towards me. I keep laughing at the current husband because he doesn't know who he married, she he losses his money that's when the demon in her will show.
I have a standard now... If it's money that will keep her she doesn't worth my time and stress I let go of leeches till I find my own, I have not at the moment but I know very soon I will do so.
Bro just move in let her be she will wreck you. When a woman doesn't love you she wrecks you.

✍️

Omoh, you don try oooo... This the reason why ladies loose good and responsible men till when they loose him their eyes go clearly. I have come to learn don't over love a woman, love her but don't over do it. They can take it for granted and begin to misbehave, a lady needs to be constantly out in check both in relationship and in marriage. Your respect in her eyes is not tied to all the sacrifices you have made for her and her family. Obviously I have also come to learn that those we make much sacrifices for see us nothing but someone to take advantage of. You love too much and you have directed it to your wife too much to the point that your value in her eyes has reduced despite all you have done for her. Understand the psychology of a woman, love her but put her in check on her toes, when you constantly show a woman you can take nosense to your own detriment she will keep dishing you out nonsense. A woman you bank roll her school and family misbehaving... Set the rules and let her play by the rules. Love her but let her know her boundaries and we're she can not cross the line with you. Once a woman looses her respect for you, 90% of the time she has lost her love for you or she will soon loose that love for you. You have to constantly have your respect intack by the woman you feed, cloth and accommodate in your house.

Coinwarrior:
It is not that I am poor.I am rich ,I have build 7 houses for myself in total.I married this lady in 2020 when i met her as a nurse apprentice.I made her finish her nursing apprenticeship by bankrolling it and I made her learn patent medicine ,bankrolled her and opened a pharmacy store for her and bought 1 plot of land for her so far and made her living a very comfortable life above her peers and even her mother who had been married to her father for 40years ago.she is just checking pregnant now.And i am planning to send her to midwifery school once she gave birth.She has shop at home and at metropolis.I did everything for her.Here is a girl that would have been living an inglorious life if i had not met her because the guy that she was dating by the time I met her just want to Bleep and dump her and that guy is a serial cheat.My presence in her family has been a blessing cos I still bought a bus for her father 2.2mln to do away with the old bus the father was using to fend for his family.So what else I’m i doing wrong

Just move on with your life. Do not stay were u are not valued. If a guy doesn't love you and a girl doesn't love you ... Just walk away any relationship not mutual is headed for the rocks

APC MUST GO.

A very good morning to you �
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Have a great day today...

Everything here reeks of immaturity. When you date a mature lady you will know all this is a crap. I am nice very nice to the core and I have my limit to things and I am not a yes yes guy. But I have dated matured ladies who are drama free and were nice to me as I was nice to them. No mature lady will want to spend the rest of her life with a guy who is not nice and gentle.
I dated my Ex girlfriend from University days for 8yrs it was everything drama free. I mean no single day she ever disrespected me, talkless of insult. No entitled mentality, no begging rather she always gave to me. We parted ways when we were planning for wedding and we discovered we were of the same genotype AS/AS. She was the best relationship I ever had in my life that never ended in marriage.
After her I dated so many immature ladies and matured ladies. One thing peculiar among the matured ladies was love, maturity, respectunderstanding, empathy, non entitled mentality and drama free but you see the immature ones omoh.. wahala ooo, entitlement, begging, insult, disrespect etc.
Biko u think drama makes relationship sweet... I think you are yet to experience a drama free relationship. Understand that drama is different from issues in relationship. You can have issues in relationship and your relationship is healthy.
It's drama that opens up door to toxicity... Avoid toxic people..
Kudos to guyz who are nice but not simps.
If a girl wants to bring drama into your life ... Ex her... You deserve your sanity.
I will go for drama free relationship any day any time.. the world is complex already, I don't want to spend my life with a being who bring toxic complexity into it...

If nuclear war happens... We In in Nigeria have our immune system as defense mechanism.. like in the case of Covid 19... � All thanks to powerful African immune system. God know say our leaders will be foolish so he gave us a succour our IMMUNE SYSTEM.

My girlfriend does all of this ooo. God bless you Ella. You are one in a million.

Lol... My ex girlfriend did all this 2 me despite me making efforts to contact her, she reads my messages no response, I explained situation I was in she never bulged, I tried calling she never picked neither responded to my miss calls, I went to see her on my way back almost got an accident God saved me, came back home she never called me or bother to check up on me. All she do was for her to ask me for money, I told her I will try and do something about it. She started giving me attitudes I asked and asked why no response. I thought it was the money I managed to send something, she never acknowledged the Money neither called to say thank you. The whole thing got me pained for days I did not call this girl, she too did not call for days turning to weeks and now months. I just knew this person never loved me she was just in for the money. I had to let go and count my losses and move on and prayed to God in tears for my own... God answered my prayers by giving me a decent sweet Christian chic, who is very classy and Godly. The very day I asked her out she said yes even without spending a dime on her. She has already agreed to marry me. The highest I have spent on her in months is just 1000 naira. Very pretty and mature girl she has needs but she won't even come to tell me this needs. She is showering and showing me love and standing by me in a way that amazes. I needed someone closer to my age but here the age difference between us is 11yrs. She says all that matters is love. She can't wait to hear from me on daily basis and to reach out to me as well. God has someone for you OP.
I know relationship wise I have been through pains but never gave up on love.. it located me without much work or effort.
Find someone who loves and value you,if it's not reciprocated then it's not love, if it's not mutual then it's not relationship.

If the relationship is not mutual and receprocated, it's not a relationship.
Everything about the relationship has to be receprocated and mutual by both parties involved.
Don't love beyond the level which the other party shows you love.

Serve them what they serve you in the relationship in terms of everything.
This is how to create balance

To some people you are just an opportunity to be taking advantage of used and dumped.
Mostly guyz find themselves in this zone trying to impress a lady that is not willing to impress them. Same also applies to ladies trying to impress a guy who is not willing to impress them.


�It must be mutual and receprocated .. financially

�It must be mutual and receprocated .. respectfully

�It must be mutual and receprocated .. in the public

�It must be mutual and receprocated .. in terms of sacrifice, giving and loving

�It must be mutual and receprocated .. in terms of commitment and loyalty

Guyz shine your eyes don't allow any gender use you and trash you.
If you are dating him/her ensure they are dating you too. ..

Let's redefine the narrative...

What an effontry and insolence for your wife you paid dowry on her head to say this kind of a word to you. I consider this as the height of disrespect. If my girlfriend ever tells me this I will leave her straight up. One of my Ex began to misbehave and I was asking her why all this nonsense, she kept on giving me attitude. Eventually she said we need to talk, she came to my house and told me she is no longer enjoying the relationship and that she doesn't love me anymore, it won't work. I never bother asking why I had to let her go despite the money I spent on her.
Many months down the lane she came back with tears for us to reconnect and get back together. I blasted her and told her to her face she was busy cheating and she thinks she can take me for a ride. She cried her eyes out, she said it was better I flogged her than the kind of words I used on her. I said really when you were emmitting your bullets from your mouth I kept quiet like a fool and now I decided to react to your nonsense by me speaking you are crying. I told her to get out, Las Las she was pregnant for the guy she was cheating with I closed her chapter. I did same to my Ex recently.. if a woman misbehave and tells you she no love you again Biko move on.. some if this women, they are following them from the spirit world and village. I had a matured lady who was divorce said in tears I wished I never divorced my husband I had a gem and I took it for granted. Now her husband has remarried to a more reasonable and responsible lady and the new wife is enjoying what the Ex wife is supposed to enjoy. The Ex wife is in the street regretting her actions. Many ladies are just so careless and stupid. If your husband did something wrong are you supposed to give him attitude to the point of weaponising sex, what happens to talking to him, sitting him down for a discussion, express yourself and if nothing changes after 3 attempt you can now seek for alternative measures to solve the issue. The husband Mr Op in question has tried to find out what's wrong yet the wife has bottled up her feelings or her hurt, this a case of immaturity from the wife, is not like the husband is not pushing and pursuing for peace, but the wife keep making it difficult.
I had a similar experience with my recent Ex girlfriend who she said I did something to her which brought heated argument, I asked for explanation, I tried to talk to this girl for 2 weeks this babe bone me, not picking my calls, not responding to my chats, I felt very pained I just have to move on and block her out if my life I need peace, this someone who has not really contributed anything to my life yet want to stress it for me. I forgot my investments and I moved in from her.
Op if your wife is not seeing another guy which I doubt if she is not, please just let her be, let her go on a journey of exploration the end of it is just SEX and nothing more and the SEX won't be more than 24 hours no matter how edey sweet her for body.
Some ladies will have responsible guyz and still be messing up.
We Nigerian guyz dey try oooo, I swear.. so our life is now structure to just please a woman all the days if her life living with us. The narrative has to change, men have to wake up to know that they are the price, any lady who is not willing to be under your leadership and headship should not be in your SHIP of marriage or relationship
If you relationship is not been reciprocated by any girl leave her find the one who will equally reciprocate.
You see the reason why some guyz say it's better for a woman to love the man more than the man to love the woman more.
When a woman loves you deeply all this nonsense will not come up..
In Al you do never relenquish your power to her by begging her to stay or to love you. She has drawn the battle line mentally in your mind and your marriage can never be the same because if the word " I have lost love for you" Kai those words are painful honestly, ego shattering and will affect the OP.
She has to own up to those words and seriously apologize to you if at all your marriage will work.
I am not asking you to divorce her but let her be, if she craves for you she will come for you but if not she has emotionally divorced you and those words came out from her to emotionally manipulate you to think of discharging her.
The sex denial is another thing again, if a woman stops loving you she stops giving you access to her Jerusalem. Prove to her that you are more than that Jerusalem, by letting bit go don't ask for it and don't look for another woman to have with. Just out your emotions and libido in check, go for the meeting with your in-laws, act accordingly here what they have to say and emphatically asked your wife before her parents what's her final decision, so that her parents can be aware of their daughters decision right in front of them.
If she says she wants out, appreciate your in-laws and thank them, move on with your life ... You deserve better.
You don't beg love to stay, it stays when the heart chooses to stay.
✍️

janejjjjj5000:
No. I grew up in Winners Chapel and Papa and Mama always say they have never argued in their marriage. Even last year, Papa still said that he and mama have not had their first argument almost 40 years later. That is the kind of marriage I always wanted but now, I feel bad because I cannot boast of the same thing. Shouting at your wife is abuse. And worse is that our children see it. I have read that it can affect children psychologically. I feel that I have failed.

Madam hear yourself, look at the yardstick you are using for your marriage... Lol Papa said this and that.. please Biko walk away from your husband ooo... U really don't know what you want. If Papa and Mama have not had their first arguments does that mean they don't have issues or serious issues between them in their marriage. I have stayed with many pastors many like married pastors and u have seen many issues and small fights,some even excalate to something else. No marriage is without issues.
What's your own role in aggravating your husband. There is no reaction without a cause, so deeply ask yourself what am I doing that makes my husband fume like this even in the presence of your children and later still apologize to you because he loves and respects you. For heaven God go just dey look you say Lucifer done dial this one number she go soon pick the call. You mean after 14 yrs you still don't know how to get your husband to behave and u still don't know him and how to address this issue... Shaking my head... Go oooo leave your marriage and look for a man that will not shout.. shouting some people is an expression not that they are even toxic .. for me I see nothing wrong with your husband, just that you guyz needs to talk.. stop comparing your marriage with that of your papa in the lord you are not living with them, do you know what the marriage has gone through...

Oga forget this babe and move on... My ex if 7 months this some bad things I pointed them to her she never apologies. She did the first I was the one dt apologized and try to make peace reign, she did second I pointed out her error no apologies I even tried to make things work by saying sorry it ok... But she still went in to keep malice with me... I told her about her wrongs again .. she blocked me... I blocked her back never to unblock in a lifetime... I moved on... Bitch never contacted me for 3 months I careless.. marry who wants you ... Who loves and respects you..

dozieo:
THE SILENT PAINS OF A HUSBAND
Everybody is hung up on domestic abuse by men against women. Nobody spares a moment to find solutions to the equally devastating verbal abuse men suffer in the hands of their wives. It is worse because men can't discuss what their wives do to them for fear of scorn and derision. They suffer in silence. Timebomb.

Unfortunately, the Nigerian society has little or no support systems for this kind of situation. Little or no counselling services. It's been mostly left to the church to deal with. What happens when the man doesn't go to church? What happens when the woman doesn't believe in spiritual intervention? These women are raising daughters. Their daughters are hearing and seeing how they speak to and treat their husband. What kind of wives will they grow up to become? Those that treat their husbands as kings or those that believe husbands are nothing but verbal punching bags?

We've all agreed and rightfully so that a man has no business hitting his wife. So how then do you stop a wife raining verbal missiles at you? Leave the house? Okay. But you'll return and it will continue. What next? Leave again? For how long?

Recently, I visited a senior friend, an important man in the society and while we were downstairs gisting, the voice of his wife could be heard upstairs. She was spewing unimaginable bile against the man. She called him all sorts of unprintable names. Impotent, wretched fool, miserable man that was nothing when she married him, etc. This is a well respected man. A father of 4 children. She tore at his very core and mocked everything society respected him for. She said he'd soon crash and she'll be there to laugh at him.

I was so uncomfortable as I beheld the man. He was shrunken before me. He was deflated. He tried to gamefully continue the gist to distract me but it was not working. The woman's vitriol was a ceaseless torrent. Uncomfortable silence ensued. I excused myself and left his house.

I was really sad.

You want to know the truth? This is what most men go through in their houses. They labour and toil and build respect but when they return home, the one who ought to speak to the king in them tears them to shreds and tries to deflate their self-esteem. When they are outside, they try to act cheerful and happy but back home, they are shrivelled because the person they live with makes it a point of duty to verbally assault them.

A sad story comes to mind. There was recently a Nigerian Ambassador who was recalled because his wife released a story to the press that he beat her. She also released pictures showing fresh injuries on her body ostensibly inflicted by the man.

In a dramatic twist, their children came out to debunk the stories and said their mother faked the injuries to embarrass their dad. Grown up children.

A particular sentence by the 1st son saddened me. He said it was as if their mum woke up every morning with one mission in life: how to make their dad miserable. They said they were witnesses to how their mum constantly harassed and abused their dad and wanted the whole world to know that their dad was not who their mum was painting him to be.

Yes, opinion shifted on the scandal but the damage had been done. The Ambassador was recalled and nobody heard from him again.

A family is currently at odds with the widow of their son and brother. The wife was constantly verbally assaulting him. Nobody wanted to visit them because each time they were around, it was always quarrel and the wife would call him unprintable names. Even in their presence. When they try to interfere, she will give them their own. The man died recently of heart-attack caused by high blood pressure. He was in his late 40s. The family insists his wife sent him to his early grave with her verbal torments.

Our bars are filled with men who are afraid to go home to their wives for fear of what verbal torment they will go through. Men are finding every excuse to travel because they'll rather be anywhere than in their own homes.

Everybody is focusing on men as culprits in domestic abuse. Who is talking to the women?

dozieo:
THE SILENT PAINS OF A HUSBAND
Everybody is hung up on domestic abuse by men against women. Nobody spares a moment to find solutions to the equally devastating verbal abuse men suffer in the hands of their wives. It is worse because men can't discuss what their wives do to them for fear of scorn and derision. They suffer in silence. Timebomb.

Unfortunately, the Nigerian society has little or no support systems for this kind of situation. Little or no counselling services. It's been mostly left to the church to deal with. What happens when the man doesn't go to church? What happens when the woman doesn't believe in spiritual intervention? These women are raising daughters. Their daughters are hearing and seeing how they speak to and treat their husband. What kind of wives will they grow up to become? Those that treat their husbands as kings or those that believe husbands are nothing but verbal punching bags?

We've all agreed and rightfully so that a man has no business hitting his wife. So how then do you stop a wife raining verbal missiles at you? Leave the house? Okay. But you'll return and it will continue. What next? Leave again? For how long?

Recently, I visited a senior friend, an important man in the society and while we were downstairs gisting, the voice of his wife could be heard upstairs. She was spewing unimaginable bile against the man. She called him all sorts of unprintable names. Impotent, wretched fool, miserable man that was nothing when she married him, etc. This is a well respected man. A father of 4 children. She tore at his very core and mocked everything society respected him for. She said he'd soon crash and she'll be there to laugh at him.

I was so uncomfortable as I beheld the man. He was shrunken before me. He was deflated. He tried to gamefully continue the gist to distract me but it was not working. The woman's vitriol was a ceaseless torrent. Uncomfortable silence ensued. I excused myself and left his house.

I was really sad.

You want to know the truth? This is what most men go through in their houses. They labour and toil and build respect but when they return home, the one who ought to speak to the king in them tears them to shreds and tries to deflate their self-esteem. When they are outside, they try to act cheerful and happy but back home, they are shrivelled because the person they live with makes it a point of duty to verbally assault them.

A sad story comes to mind. There was recently a Nigerian Ambassador who was recalled because his wife released a story to the press that he beat her. She also released pictures showing fresh injuries on her body ostensibly inflicted by the man.

In a dramatic twist, their children came out to debunk the stories and said their mother faked the injuries to embarrass their dad. Grown up children.

A particular sentence by the 1st son saddened me. He said it was as if their mum woke up every morning with one mission in life: how to make their dad miserable. They said they were witnesses to how their mum constantly harassed and abused their dad and wanted the whole world to know that their dad was not who their mum was painting him to be.

Yes, opinion shifted on the scandal but the damage had been done. The Ambassador was recalled and nobody heard from him again.

A family is currently at odds with the widow of their son and brother. The wife was constantly verbally assaulting him. Nobody wanted to visit them because each time they were around, it was always quarrel and the wife would call him unprintable names. Even in their presence. When they try to interfere, she will give them their own. The man died recently of heart-attack caused by high blood pressure. He was in his late 40s. The family insists his wife sent him to his early grave with her verbal torments.

Our bars are filled with men who are afraid to go home to their wives for fear of what verbal torment they will go through. Men are finding every excuse to travel because they'll rather be anywhere than in their own homes.

Everybody is focusing on men as culprits in domestic abuse. Who is talking to the women?

Kai, you made my day with this right up. Infact I truly know that you are a very matured person to have articulately and calculatively written this.
Many stones are thrown at men but nobody is looking at the woman or women when it comes to domestic violence. That's why the female child needs orientation, needs information. The key to transformation is not just information but the right information. Many ladies in our society today mostly Nigerian ladies are not marriageable, I am unapologetic about this many I mean many. That's why it's important to look well at the family of a lady you are getting married to ooo. If a lady has not seen her father and mother lived and loved each other in years if marriage she may not be able to transmit the love and respect to you as a guy ooo. It will take the grace of God. I am not saying there are no exceptions. Biko watch the family of the girl you want to marry, observe her parents, observe their family values and how she was raised by her 2 parent's.
Men are becoming endangered species in the society as regards to marriage.
When it comes to domestic violence the first culprit is the man and not knowing that for every reaction there is an action, a trigger. The way some of this women open their mouth to attack their husbands verbally is alarming, they say all manners of things without decorum, attacking the man's ego.. a man was not designed for his ego to be attack, he can't handle that without reaction. He may endure for a while but not in a life time. If you check cases of domestic violence you will discovered 90% of it was triggered by the woman, in reaction the man begins to fight back with his muscles not his mouth. A man is not a match to a woman when it comes to her mouth in fight, hence he uses his muscles to retaliate.
Many don't know that verbal abuse kills faster than physical abuse. How do a woman who claim to love a man opens her mouth to verbally abuse him. Most if this women don't even know how to love their husbands, they don't even know how to keep a home, they don't Know that they have to constantly work on their character, they dont know how to build a home, they don't know how to bring peace into a man's life, instead they keep on nagging and nagging till they kingdom come.
A man is wired separately, same with a woman. Many people go into marriage without the basic knowledge of what marriage is all about. What keeps a marriage sailing or makes it successful is not first of all the externals, but the internal and this comes from many internal components and quality both partners are bringing into the marriage.
You see when it comes to education it happens in 3 forms, 1. Learning 2. Unlearning 3. Re-learning
Many are not well educated when it comes to marriage especially the women folk. Many ladies have to learn new things, unlearn old things or ideaology and Re-learn to make their marriage work.
Let me use my own experience to buttress my point
When my brother one of my elder brother got married, his wife was a torn in his flesh, Kai she insulted hell out of him, said alot of nonsense to him and us inclusive. Then because it was a new marriage they had to stay in our own family house. His wife will insult and give attitude to him, so my brother whom I have known all my life as a quiet gentle guy became a beast. This lady his wife constantly attacked his ego, she will fight him, he will beat him, I was staying in our family house then, most times I will come back from work to separate fight.
The one that got into me was when she started insulting my parents and the rest of my siblings, the painful part was that my both parent's were in the family house and heard what she was saying. My immediate elder sister rush my brothers wife to cover her with slapped I had to restrained her I asked her to stop, because my elder brother her husband was already beating her for that. Kai those words entered my mum, my dad and myself but I looked at my brother's wife and and I warned her sternly that if you will do your rubbish please leave my parents out of this, the next time you will try it and I will hear of it, you won't like what my reaction will be. I went to my mum and asked them please to forgive and forget what my brothers wife said. Later after much has been settled my brothers wife apologized to my parents.
Today both of them are living in peace like they have never fought before. Who was the trigger she, I remembered telling my elder brother you are not like this pls calm down. .
Now after much understanding and learn what marriage is the lady has come down and now is more supportive of her husband.
In my own case I had a girlfriend who was very toxic, entitled and bad manners. My then Ex girlfriend went and was lieing about me to people and her mum about how I am treating her and all this things were lies. This a girl I paid her fees, i ensures she get something from me regularly without her contributing a dime. This a girl out of anger nearly destroyed my laptop yet I never raised my hands on her. She used her house key to cut my thumb, yet I did not say anything, I left her she said if I talk she will shout I wanted to take advantage of her so in defense she acted the way she acted... Wow you see how manipulative some ladies could be.
In pains I had to end the relationship between us and moved on even though we were planning marriage.
She went to my pastor to lie to him about me and my pastor looked at her in the eyes and told her you are lieing.. that me can not do what she claims I did.
My pastor called me and I explained my own part of the story he understood better and asked me never to go back to the relationship even if she comes back begging.
Truly she came back crying I said it's ok both of us now are past tense, she should move on that I have moved on.
Don't always believe ladies untill you hear the other side.
I dated a girl recently for months and she told me was that she found out her ex had some one else but my experience with her made me understand better that she is a liar, a manipulator and a cheat. I just left the relationship for her.
God will help us to find good wives oooo... In this country.

Places don't make people, rather people make places. Your environment is a reflection of your thinking. Bet me op. It will be long for you to get out if this condition if you continue like this. You can not keep clean and neat the one God gave you how do you expect him to give you better. Your mental growth determines the level of transformation. I have stayed in a more worst condition than this in fact a hut with thatched roof. But I kept on working on my mind not to accept poverty.. mental transformation begets all other forms of transformation. You can't grow within and be still without. In this Abuja I have squatted, did odd jobs, but today I am not working for anyone.. I came in here with Ghana must go but my mind is global ...
Biko grow mentally.... Work on your mental growth.. u will leave this stage very soon

Hmmm... Omoh I can relate with what this OP has written or said. I have been there ooo. Men are becoming endangered species in marriage. I had to end relationship with my narcissistic girlfriend, manipulator, selfish person, it's always about her. Truly men are suffering society say we should be men at the detriment of our own been. My friend just ended his relationship with his girlfriend because of some nonsense attitude from the girl untop his own money oooo.
Many ladies are not wives. Many are not marriageable to be sincere, many don't Know what the basic needs of a man.
It takes to to tango. Any relationship that works is a relationship that is worked upon. One partner can not keep a relationship, there must be balance at most equilibrium to ensure the relationship sails smoothly. In the absence of this balance things are bound to come to a halt.
My eyes have seen shege from ladies that now I even dare to go close to them.. but I still want to marry.
I have been praying to God the right woman God please. My father married right even in death and in sickness my mom still loved him till his last days on Earth. My father was broke to nothing she stood by him and they both worked out a road map to bounce back.
When he did he willed everything to her ooo, na she come will everything to us.
Many folks going into marriage and desiring marriage don't know what marriage is and what it's true meaning is.
I tell guyz marry a woman who loves you more than you love her, never show a woman you over love her, she go mess u up. Show her love when you have guaged her commitment to is Rock solid.
Op you married another man's wife... It will take God. If this persist please end the so-called union and get your life. Your wife does not love you.
From what I am seeing I can see that she has no respect and love for you.
I know women are not perfect but common a woman who loves you, respects you, supports you, is empathetic and will not manipulate you.
Op Biko if na me I go transfer all my cash to crypto and leave small thing inside plan things and divorce her. Period

Don't Nigeria have SEAL team to raid this guy's.... Kai we have long way to go in this country.

My ex is 1-5 so I ran away oooo... Dt babe is too selfish and greedy... Greedy greedy Kai... Then with unforgiving spirit.

Iyaebe:
One out of millions of cases that ended well, Blessing was ready to settle down and your brother was still finding his feet, it’s that simple.

You are still not qualified to post trash... Because in life experience u are very far. So what happens if the one who finds his feet financially looses his money... Since you said no love without finance.

Your type should go and sit at the feet of elders to learn...
Stop churning your ignorance and undeveloped mindset in a public domain...
May God take far from me your type....
May I never come across your type with this kind of shallow, barbaric mindset..
You think love is money and money is love...
Go get a life ooooo...

Guyz if she not contributing to your life and your are busy funding her life... Pls kneel down let's pray for you to be delivered from 21st century stupidity....

This op should be avoided like plague, their type dump men when the storm comes....

I shake my head for those saying this post has truth.
Dear OP. You are child, a toddler mentally and in life experience you are far behind.
I will never marry a lady who was not there for me. You are more interested in the product not in my process, that person is a leech.
I don't know why guyz keep empowering girls with entitled mentality to say and do nonsense. I dump my girlfriend for her been a total liability and a collosal disaster in character untop my own money you want to form rubbish for me.
Op even said no love without finances... Dear OP grow up. When you know what the definition of love is you can come back here and talk to us. As far as I am concerned you just typed and posted rubbish.
In this life lot of guyz go through their process which is their story before embracing their glory.
A case scenario. My elder brother was dating Blessing and he did everything for her made so much sacrifice for her and then he was climbing the ladder carreer wise, how did his then girlfriend rewarded him by dumping him and getting married to an Alhaji. The most stupid thing she did was to convert from Christianity to a Muslim just to marry this so call Alhaji. From Blessing to Hauwa, this a true life story.... I saw pains in my brothers heart he had to relocate out if Abuja to another state. I am talking of the best graduating student from his departmental in ABU Zaria. Yet Blessing now turned to Hauwa could not see any future in him.
When he relocated to a new state he met his current wife and she was there for him, helped him to climbed the ladder. He got married to her when he was earning 20k in salary and she was supportive of him. His current wife is from a well to do family and yet she chose to marry him and build a family with him. Today he is a big consultant that people look for left right and centre and his earnings have skyrocketed to 7 figures.
Back to Blessing now turn to Hauwa. The last time I saw her in area, she was leaving in a Mud house and with 2 children no husband, no Alhaji. Alhaji dumped her after 2 children. When she saw me shame and tears filled her eyes, I could see regret.
One thing my brother told me was he believed God will bless him and change his story. God plus Hardwork and responsibility he won't remain the same.
My elder brother taught me a vital lesson in life. Never accommodate a leech.. today he doesn't joke with his wife.. if you touch his wife you see his raw undiluted anger...
Ladies be an asset and not a commodity to be purchased with money....
Let you husband see your value beyond money...
In the definition of love money was never mentioned... So OP is not qualified to talk to us as guyz...
In conclusion, never you conclude on a guy who has vowed to believe God. At any point in time God can change his story.

Guyz find a girl who loves and respect you and who is willing to build with you... That's when you know you have found wife.

Dear OP.. I will advice u, not to get into this type of relationship with this type of girl.
The past is a clue to the future.
This girl is not good for u at all. A girl who dumps guyz anyhow speaks a much volume. She surely has character problem like my ex.. same thing she dumps, block guyz, eat their money and the rest. When my friend was telling me that this girl is not a good wife material I was busy forming love untill all her bad character began to show up after months into relationship.
She is selfish
She is greedy
She is self centered
She has no respect
She does not care about you but it's all about the money, what she can benefit
She does not take correction she does not apologize.
She is a manipulator

I asked her about what led to the break up of her last relationship, she said she found out that the guy had another girl.. that was all she said, she painted her self good and took the victim position untill I had my own experience with her.
I tried to correct her on something she did, she never bulged ... She went straight to block me. This someone I made so much sacrifice for.
Op becareful, you are seeing redflags... This kind of person won't take shit from a guy, she won't be patient to build a relationship that will last, she won't fit into a submissive for you. What happens if you both date and translate into marriage she can as well dump you by filling for devorce

People are saying that she is independent and knows what she wants but all I see is a lady who is is mentally unstable and can make irrational decision.
No one is stopping you, but thread with caution and never love her more than she loves you. She will put herself in order if she is loving you more than you are loving her.
Be wise

This was how God saved me oooo... Kai I can't forget that day, it was during covid 19 our company lodged some if us the staff in a hotel to work from the hotel remotely as IT staff.
That faithful day after my prayers in the morning, my spirit just Said get out of this hotel. So I did ooo, went out luckily the hotel was in the same town were my house was, I just went home to do some small work and I did not return so I slept in my house.
The next day rushing back to my hotel run I heard that the hotel was raided by police and DSS the night o did not sleep in the hotel and many people got themselves involved in the mess, including my office worker. As at that time he was a new staff and no IDcard. So he was taken to the station, my boss has to ask me to design an ID for him to help bail him out from the police net. Since they say he was keeping afro hair and had a laptop as a programmer in his room they suspect him as Yahoo guy...
Kai my guy see hell oooo
Naso I told my boss I will work from home oooo... Left the comfort of the hotel to my house.

My ex in Nasarawa ... Lost me to her over bloated ego.. Kai.. i have never seen such kind of pride and unapologetic attitude from her, so selfish and so entitled. Wants me alone to be making 98% of the sacrifice but she can not sacrifice and compromise for the relationship to work. I concluded that this person doesn't love and care for me. She kept on saying that she loves me because she calls me... Na me dey do 90% of the call.
She truly has character problem, I had to move in despite the money I spent, she scattered our relationship due to her pride and lack of character... I deserve better so I had to move on.
Imagine me going to see this girl and nearly had a ghastly accident oooo... Came back home babe did not call me, only for her the following day to start asking me for money, which I told her ok hold on I will get something across because I was trying to sort some mess I was in. Babe did not care about the situation I was in she only cared about the Money... I withdrew from her for some days to see if she will reach out she never did, I still sent the money she never called back to say thank you... I knew I had entered one chance I had to move on intentionally...
So babes don't know how to recognize a good and a responsible guy .... I try to talk to her about it na block she block....
Imagine....
Becareful of girls wey no get sense...
I see some of my female friends 33-38 yrs no husband... I don't pity them at all... I only wish them well .... I was trying to advise one the other day she attacked me and at 34 yrs no husband and its her character...
One guy she thought she will marry came and used her as a sex tool and scattered her body with counts in the end the guy dumped her for a younger lady that respects him... She saw their wedding pix and was heart broken... She told me that she gave this guy the best sex ever... All styles...
I looked at her... I said responsible men can compromise sex but they will never compromise respect and character... Sex alone can not keep a responsible man.
She saw a young man responsible guy who is hard working has a decent job she met him in a bus, but she told me she can't marry him he has no car. The guy chased her for 2yrs but she said nope... Now that same guy is well to do she is trying to get back to him but he told her he has moved on beyond her.

I have a female friend 36 still busy been over selective at this stage of her life and fallen for players and they are chopping her. I don't know when done girls will sit down to look at a good and responsible guy to marry...

My red flags in relationship are;
Pride+Disrespect+Entitlement mentality+ Selfishness+Unfaithfulness.....
Omoh I don Waka

Lol.. some of us have stayed 3+ decades without sex... U won't die... Self control puts you in control

Men our eyes have seen shege in the hands of this gender ooooo. .
This how my ex went to my pastor to tell lies about me.. bla bla. Not knowing that I have known the pastor our pastor for 16 yrs and those 16 years I have stayed with with him for 8 years and 3 years in his house ... Before I moved to my house.
This is a babe I dated paid her school fees, hospital bill, paid for her professional skill aquisition. Yet this girl was busy cheating as well been supported by her mum. This was a girl who never spent a dime on me. In the cost of our relationship I spent over 350k and Lost 2.4m because of pressure to impress her. I went into wrong investment, the demands were too much, she even ask me to empty my savings for her. With all this I never touched her in 2+ yrs of relationship.
What broke the carmels back was during our premarital counseling we had serious issue, she went to knack another guy who obviously had more money... I blasted her, she said alot if things that because of the money I spent on her I don't want to leave her. I left her to go she came back I never accepted her back, she wanted to use tears to manipulate me still I refuse I let her into my life. I let go of the money.
When she went to tell my pastor lies... My pastor told her blunt truth, I can trust (me) but for you I can't trust you to be faithful.
The last time I check she was pregnant out of wedlock and rope a guy into marriage with the pregnancy.
I fear this gender on a daily basis... I have seen alot with my eyes ooooo.
Oh God give me a decent girl to wife.