₦airaland Forum

netotse:
omo...I have used style to tell my madam several times o...I have no problem washing plates, changing light bulbs, fiddling with stuff but ask me to sweep, cook or arrange clothes and my body will start to do one kind (I understand there will be times I need to do more and that's fine).

I must admit I didn't really think that way until my Mum sat me down a couple of months back, my position has shifted a great deal.

EfemenaXY:
Masquerade indeed-ie!

My dear, t'isn't my fault na. How're you though?

Chillisauce:
There is this story of a guy who was asking my friend out then in school. So he invited us for dinner or lunch(can't remember ) in a fast food joint.

After eating the chicken. You know as per effizy, we left the bones
This guy finished chewing his chicken bones and started eating my friends chicken bone. He was like ."the best part of the meat".
I couldn't contain my laugh, for a joke, I wispered to my friend that he can as well crack my own chicken bones

The thing pain my friend ehn but she said nothing .

Anyway, after a while I asked about the guy from her.
Girl, what about your bone cracker
She said she Don sack am .

Just a joke but you never know who might be hurting.
Anyway its past. I Don repent.
I wouldn't mind if he was cracking his own bone, but to crack another person bone join. Omoh the thing Don pass be careful.

As thelish asked me if I crack the cover. I just remember this story.

kaboninc:
Exactly!

And also expect her to meet her own aspect of the financial obligations.

netotse:
You have a point here...even if a couple splits the bills in half there would still be this expectation that she should carry out all the typical wifely duties.

I intend to bear the bulk of the burden financially, where possible. Especially since I think housework(cleaning, washing arranging et al...DIY/washing plates isn't housework to me ) is a waste of my time. I think your model works fine, if you ask me.

senoreetah:
congrats missmalachi on the birth of ur princess, God bless her..

US scan keep moving my EDD backward, at 6 weeks it was 16/03/15, 10+2 it was 14/03/15 did another yesterday 12/03/15...and I got to see my baby yesterday for d first time with dh, he( with faith) was just moving his leg and hands up and down not allowing the dr show us more details...God see all belleful mamas through and meet us at d point of our needs

iyomomo:
Mama's please raise ur voices towards heaven on behalf of my mum's best friends daughter in law (her name is Beauty) and her baby, she had an emergency preterm CS yesterday due to high bp at 7 months, she's still being monitored and not transferred to d Ward yet, baby in incubator, docs say she's strong. It shall end in praise for them and everyone here. Amen

Culled and edited from NBC News 2014

Carrin Jade is a lawyer, a yoga teacher, a freelance writer and — in her spare time — a mother to two young children. Her life is a dizzying stream of activity, made busier by the fact that she and her husband have chosen to raise their kids without the help of a nanny or full-time babysitter – just the occasional assistance of family members.

“I’ve always been wired to do too much,” said Jade, who is in her thirties and lives in New York City. “My brother is not quite the same way; I can’t just say it was the way I was raised.”

Her husband, also a lawyer, isn’t wired that way, either, but Jade says he helps out wherever he can. Jade’s days are long: She and her husband trade off working from home to watch their four-year-old and two-year-old; at night, they eat dinner after the kids have gone to sleep, then Jade stays up to plan family activities or make grocery lists.

“There are days when I’ve barely slept when I’m wondering how I’m going to get through it,” she said. “Sometimes I have more peace about it, and other times, I feel like I’m on the verge of a breakdown.”

But Jade says she can’t imagine living any other way.

She’s not alone. Despite decades of strides in the professional world, women still take on more than their share of work around the home and lag behind men when it comes to taking free time for themselves, experts say.

According to a U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics survey from June, 82 percent of women spent time doing housework, cooking or other household management on an average day, versus just 65 percent of men – and women spend longer per day doing these chores.

Total workload breakdown – time spent on housework, childcare, running errands and paid work – varies by spouses' employment status, said Sara Raley, an associate professor of sociology at McDaniel College in Maryland. “If you look at women who work part-time who are married to men who work full-time, then the workloads are about even,” she said. But in families with working mothers of young children and families with no children, women do more overall work than men.

Even female breadwinners on average do more housework and childcare than their husbands, studies have found. (Stay-at-home dads are an exception.)

With this week’s release of the Shriver Report, a document looking at women’s lives in post-recession America, NBC News asked social science experts why so many women take on so much.

Taking on 'invisible' chores

One culprit? Deep-rooted cultural assumptions about women’s position in and outside the home, says Debora Spar, president of Barnard College.

“We’ve had centuries of expectations of women’s roles, and they’re all around child-rearing, home-keeping and husband maintenance,” said Spar, author of “Wonder Women: Sex, Power, and the Quest for Perfection.” “We added to those expectations the opportunities for women to enter the workforce, but we never really, societally, rejiggered what women were supposed to do at home.”

Even young women assume that they'll bear the burden of domestic chores in marriage, said Janelle Fetterolf, a graduate student pursuing her Ph.D. in psychology at Rutgers.

In a 2011 study of more than 100 undergraduate females, women said they expected to do 60 percent of housework when they got married, Fetterolf found. “Regardless of how much they thought they would be working and their educational attainment, they always expected to do more housework and childcare than their spouse,” she said. Men were more likely than women to say men should be providing financially and that women should be taking care of the housework and childcare.

Among married couples, women often take on even more than they realize. On top of basic chores such as cooking and cleaning, “there are other things that women are doing that are almost invisible to them,” said Pamela Smock, a sociology professor at the University of Michigan. “That includes kin work, which means who sends out holiday cards, who has to get on the phone with the in-laws to make arrangements for Thanksgiving."

Letting go of perfect

Some women may not delegate to their male partners because they feel they are better at many chores – but even women who ask for assistance may not get it. “We got some signal that the guys are just slacking off. They’ll say they want to do something, and then they don’t follow through,” Rudman said. “Many men are certainly stepping up to do more, but it’s often not in their realm of expectations for themselves.”

And when men do help out with certain tasks, said Smock, they often choose chores with a “leisure component” — such as yard work or changing the oil in the car – that have a more flexible timetable than making dinner or putting a young child to bed each night.

“Women are racing all the time to try to have a perfect house and perfect kids and be a perfect cook,” she said. “Men, somehow, for whatever reason, seem to be better able to pick and choose, to focus on things they like and that are important to them, and let the other things go.”

To lessen the domestic load, Smock, the sociology professor, recommends women talk with husbands about the delegation of duties if they want to cut back.

“They’re going to have to somehow get their husbands to do more,” she said. “Come at the conversation with this kind of information. Don’t come at it in anger. Talk about what they need to do as partners for the long-term.”

5minsmadness:
Er, Kimoni, is anything the matter?

Aminat508:
Osogbo
Osun state
Nigeria

SonOfEl:
**laughs** levels kor.... ladder ni.... na so e pain you reach? anyway darling, I have NOTICED you. whether you accept it or not, women will always be women, but how a man REACTS to it put the woman in her place.

Personally, no woman can try to intimidate me and succeed, because at the end of the day, intelligence and wealth will always bow to wisdom. #fact.

kendrallmai:
Hello mamas
I'm new here been following this thread for for sometime though I discovered d thread quite late but I like to introduce myself ftm, 34 weeks gone, edd October.

Thank God my pregnancy has been stress free but recently I started feeling dis pain in my lower abdomen especially at nite making my stomach to b strong n difficult to switch sides, complained to my gyna he didn't give me any statisfying answer n I'm kind of scared.

5minsmadness:
This is because the people that go about INITIATING trouble are already here. The more civil people are the ones who respected the op and kept out. Else this thread would have been derailed long ago.

5minsmadness:
[/quote][quote author=kramfonos post=37591702] The Men's Lounge in the Family Section? There's nothing much to miss there. The men there are sexist and there are always back-and-forths with 'intruding' women who double as feminists. Next they discuss football, politics and reoccuring issues from Family Section threads.

The hate there is REAL, trust me. It's one of the reasons I am not regular there.

5minsmadness:
You are seriously paranoid.

Oh wait, you already admitted it.

Somtimes I let them slide from the Stairway and catch them as they fall. It's mad fun

MarvellousGod:
Op, more educated or richer to me is immaterial as long as she has a good character. .... Some business men that didn't go to school marry educated working class ladies who help out when business is in crisis and they're living happily. ...

You may even become richer and more educated tomorrow. ..so??

Anyway, it depends on what each individual looks out for in a partner. ....

SonOfEl:
yes I can, both don't expect her not to use it against you at some point, because that's a woman for you. mind you what makes you a man is much deeper than more money and a bigger career. you wise judgements in crucial issues makes her trust you and obey you, because she will respect your views. two, if you are a romantic lover and fantastic in BEDmatics, she will call you lord, trust me.... three, once you are not the nosy and possessive type, it makes her free and herself with you..... there are many more deep things that tames any amazon queen or lioness as so called.

Sagamite:
I know these clips would interest you women on girls night out.

See me flowing on a thread for girly discussions, and all these yeye women would still be asking me what I bring to the table.

Dem no know say I am a great conversationalist when I choose to talk. (Some women love to talk too much especially when they enjoy my conversations)

Sagamite:
Now this is the attitude that will make me happy as a man and spur me to want to be giving more and doing more for her.

Not some ediot that would look at me and be fuming that I should live my life trying to make her happy and it is her birthright.

What I would not like though, just like your husband, is the repeated "thank yous". I don't even need or look for one from girls. Just the body-language and smile of appreciation is enough. Thank yous are just a bit too embarassing especially after it is said more than once, you become speechless and don't know how to respond anymore.

mytestimony:
Kimoni ntorrrrr. I haf seen it.
Missmalachi she is cute o. See dimples see hair. Chei

Idowuogbo:
Ehen? Omo queen....posh lomo!

Idowuogbo:
I'm stalking you....i saw buredi agege

Ok bye!!

jaybee3:
We will work something out

damiso:
I catch you

opella:
O lala! Kimoni enjoy my dear, afternoon and dinner's healthy meal will balance everything

opella:
Thanks dear, am fine, i've completed my 30 days challenge, am into eating right and exercising 3x a week, though bread still remains my weakness, I can't imagine how my morning will be without bread and sardine