₦airaland Forum

How about how to survive snake(cobra, adder, viper) bites. What emergency tips would be helpful?

kollinzgee:
That means you have health issues mine still stands upright even just seeing a lady ass i am erect.

The GOAT award goes to you bro. Btw, if you started ncha at the age of 16 and you’ve acquired lots of award in that field for 15 years…then your 29 years age maths is faulty….so maybe the habit doesn’t cause hair loss, low sperm count etc but in your case it has affected your arithmetic abilities.

wman:
The husband must be stupid to believe that his wife has been having sex with the pure water seller without her consent :.

Several times…without her consent

He will arrive with bags of ‘pure water’ then the woman will open the gate, let him inside the bedroom, lock door gbam in Fela’s voice…then the man will have sex with her ‘without her consent’….then he will leave to return later to repeat the act…without her consent…

Let’s celebrate ladies and gentlemen. National grid has not collapsed in 2022. Isn’t this some good news and something to be proud of as a Nigerian?

epondudu:
These stats don't illustrate the stark reality on the ground, how many Igbos are educated?, these are biased and tribal-oriented stats, the Yorubas are the most educated in this country, in terms of the population you won't find a family in Yorubaland without an at least secondary certificates but you can find whole family members from the east selling spare part in Lagos without even a primary school certificate all in the guise of an apprentice.

I wonder how those illiterate apprentices write and dish out receipts and invoices.

I also wonder how those illiterate apprentices manage to cheat highly literate folks like you…apparently someone can’t read the big graphics on the product packs….it’s amazing how people like you come online to lament that you were sold Samson or Samisong phones instead of Samsung

Do you know the meaning of literacy mister?

I wouldn’t touched any of these. There’s nothing appetising about both. They actually look nauseating.

Same as what one lady from ghana posts here on Nairaland. These foods look like sacrifices you’d present to some badass deities.
Badly presented and no attempt to remove the fins on those fishes. I salute people that consume these.
Yuck…. Second photo look like roadkill in some muddy water.

Asgard73:
OBi and his noise makers


Very unserious party with a politically dull candinate

It’s candidate. You dyslexic bigot.

budaatum:
I'll spray that new grass with Gamalin20 so their cattle love it more!

After Gammalin20, the herdsmen will respond with Avtomat Kalashnikova 47.

thebosstrevor1:
Peter obi has perfected the strategy of how to get sympathy from average joes if you are wealthy.

1. Carry your bag by yourself.
2. Fly economy class
3. Always discuss with the average joe
4. Wear the same type of clothes and shoes
5. Sit among the average joes even if you given a high table
6. Always take pictures with them.

Results = the average joe will think you are humble and a good person.

You can’t do the above 6 without being an average Joe yourself. You can’t be a pretender and pull that off consistently. The average Joe knows who is acting and who doesn’t.

It’s all jokes.

Puyol and Casillas are not gays.

KEVIND:
Eye dey pain you? If you can see anything he said. At least you can see this one I quoted below:

He said,
"The 2023 general election is almost here but I must tell you again that God is against the Muslim-Muslim presidential ticket of the All Progressives Congress (APC). God will go against pastors who support the Muslim-Muslim ticket. God will cause bitterness permanently in their lives. God will not give any Christian rest who supports any Muslim-Muslim ticket. This ticket is not healthy for our nation. It is not good for Nigeria; it is not good for Christianity. There is a satanic agenda in that ticket which Nigeria will regret in the nearest future."

The man didn’t say anything. His words were full of ambiguity.

Tinubu will be the president and Shettima will be the Vice President. The economy and security might get worse with rising inflation, kidnappings, robbery and police brutalities.

The man would only claim that he warned Nigerians about Muslim-Muslim ticket just like he is claiming that Saraki would’ve been a better option.

Ayodele saw nothing.

Quintopia:
What ''hope and optimism'' did your illiterate village-stuck grandfather and grandmother have during colonial rule?

Care to tell us?

You sound like one nairalander who manifests all the classical symptoms of schizophrenia.

He was awkward in language and manners when he posted. I can’t remember if he highlighted his bad languages.

It’s either you are trying to copy him or he metamorphosed.

Pls don’t try to be like him. He was a miserable soul when he posted.

He had the moniker ROSSIKKI, Rossimki etc. don’t try to be that man.

LocalStandard1:
Apple users are living in the past, many cheaper phones now can do what they boast about even more.

There are iPhone users like us who still love Apple products.
It’s not about bragging. iPhone is a very good phone and I’ll be getting the 14 pro max soon

Zonefree:
Die that your nonsense instinct right now!

Do you know what these women plan doing with the kidnapped kid?
You can't be at the comfort of your house and be saying what you don't know. They're kidnappers and they were treated the right way.

Taking them to the Police untouched will warrant them to continue from the trade upon their release. Whatever it takes to eradicate crime in Nigeria is totally acceptable by sane Nigerians.

From the information above, there’s nothing to prove that they kidnapped any child. These people should’ve been handed over to the police for questioning and yes they might be innocent of the crime they are being accused of.

I’ve witnessed a man nearly killed over theft. It turned out he wasn’t and the mob didn’t give him the chance to speak. This particular man nearly died, by the time the mob discovered their error, they all disappeared.

ArmaniUhuru:
The groom from APC has gone to treat his erectile dysfunction on the day of his marriage introduction.

His family members assure the bride's family that the dysfunction won't affect the performance of his conjugal responsibility once the marriage is finalized.

The bride is Nigeria.





Btw: which kind eye shettima take dey look Obi sef?

Okirikiri ka a na agba ukwu ose, a di ali ukwu ose enu....Oti okpo a di eti isi akwu...

Shettima can look but he can’t touch. Looking and frowning are his rights.


If you are not Igbo, find a Nwafor to interpret the above....
Obi has achieved a lot in reawakening the interests in most Nigerians...I think he should talk less though...

I also think that Shettima will win through Tinubu.

Pells:
Are you okay?
Is she fat or do you like boney girls

Am I ok? The question is are you ok?
That lady is fat mister. Some years ago, I’d drool over her but anymore. She’s got nothing to offer.

The wife shouldn’t worry because this lady is fat.

IrepChrist:
My testimony is a proof that every sin starts from the mind. While I was serving some years ago, it's was a rural community In northern Nigeria. There was this corper colleague that must have had sexual escapades with some fellow male corpers.

That faithful weekend everyone in the lodge had either travelled home or gone to town for the weekend. I was left with this lady. Around midnight she knocked my door and said she couldn't sleep alone. Sincerely I believed her because it was a quiet compound and the grave of the man who owns the house was there and everywhere was dark.

She came in and we shared the bed together. No one would ever believe me that we never had sex not even a romance.

The truth is my mind was not there and not that I was perfect... Afterwards everything went back to normal.



1 Corinthians 6:8
Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.

I couldn't run that night but God saved me.

How did you arrived the conclusion that this lady might have had sex with your fellow corpers?…from your story, this lady was really scared and your compound was lonely as everyone travelled…the grave of the former landlord added to the eeriness of the whole scene….she was really scared and needed some company.

If you had touched or initiated sex, I think that would’ve made you sex predator and some weak ass male who took advantage of the girl and her situation.

Don’t celebrate the fact that you held on and didn’t have sex with her. She wouldn’t have given it to you willingly.

Not every story should be shared on social media as I can see you doing a victory lap from your so called escape and victory over temptation.

richeeyo:
Na motor for jam u

You are not ok in the head.

Think9ja:


I watched the media chat live and all I can a say is, there are many sides to a story.

But I want you all to know this....

Peter Obi cannot and will not win the presidency. In fact, getting 5M votes will be an excellent performance.

So we are now left with two very bad options.

Atiku and
Tinubu.

It is now left for you to decide which is a lesser bad option among the two.

As for me, I choose Atiku.

By now, talks of an Obi presidency should start dying down.

But whether it dies down or not, reality will soon hit those still living in Dreamland.

I don’t think Obi will scratch the surface. Datti is a nobody and isn’t helping the Obi movement. If Datti does his job, LP will make an impact.

Atiku is going nowhere….we are then left with the last and a very horrific option.

My verdict. Tinubu will win. He will be the ceremonial head. Shettima will be the president. Nigeria will have it rough and very rough. Shettima won’t fix the security issues, he will make it worse.

Idamond:
so what's the work of the hospital and those people inside are they not meant to save life's..
many dead people should have survived but hospitals keep rejecting them.

The medical system and management in Nigeria is messed up. Not every healthcare facility can manage a trauma victim like this lady.

She should’ve been taken to a trauma hospital with expert Neuro surgeons, orthopaedic doctors etc and the hospital must have good imaging equipment and radiographers.

And she should’ve been transported to the emergency unit of a hospital in an ambulance supported by paramedics…they took her to the police station first!!! It’s really crazy what’s happening in Nigeria. The law need to be changed…a gun shot victim should be taken to a hospital first…it’s an emergency…the victim shouldn’t be going to the police station.

LIGHTROOM:
Hmm

I’ve been thinking of something like this. I’ll redesign the handle and put his face on it. Then make a big and wider broom or duster with his face on the top.

Then I’ll market them as ‘Able shiner for the show polish brushes and Table shiners for the big ones.

Trust me it’ll sell like hot cakes.

2Radii:
U make me laf

Na the woman she dey call large potato

Yam is a tuber crop and it’s not much different from potato. Yam is sometimes referred by non Africans as large potato.

Dalnadoni:
Bro now that she said she is leaving ynu because of dat...what i think you should just do is fvck the woman and ask her to talk to her dauther to stay. But note if you Bleep her once you will have to do it again. Your choice

If the mother in law is still of reproductive age then it’ll be a big wahala…

Imagine this man following your advice and the woman takes in How are we going to explain this one?

Modified…
Mother in law will deliver the daughter’s brother or sister.
His mother in law’s unborn child will be an uncle, an aunt, a brother or sister to the wife’s child.

I’m as confused as the op….Op you should’ve sorted this matter with your mother in law without involving your missus.

Kingozymandias:


What if the CNN reporter brings up his indictment for laundering the proceeds of drug trafficking in the United States?

I hope Baba won't slap the reporter o

Slap??..:.

With which hand?

Abdul05:
Come and thank tinubu for this ..

If he didn't lead buhari to power.l don't think south east would ever have this huge project.

The bridge has 16 toll gates where Easterners would pay before they use it. Who is fooling who?

I wonder if this boy is related to former super eagle’s player Obinna Nwaneri.