₦airaland Forum

@rhymz

u are expending too much energy on lil stuff.do u hav a life outside of venting in public.u are too bitter to ever keep a woman and u definitely
are a nag.u remind me of the south african athlete with a puss.y and a dic.k and u are so hormonal i am wondering if  it's not that time of the month cos u reak of premenstrual syndrome.

agbaya ni ee

@rhymz

i dont mind putting u on a pension plan for free and being this dim witted,i guess any cart pusher in owerri can afford to do same.

olodo ni bobo yii sha,talking punctuations and sh.it,u inferiority complex infested excuse for life,how i go dey follow u drag grammar on top nairaland.where hav u been? what do u know?

i couldn't employ u as my doormat even if u came with a billion referrals from ur daily maluse.oponu osi attempting intelligence

@funke

hey

@rhymz

how do i begin to address u wasting the gray and white matter in ur decaying cerebral faculties attempting to educate me about the usage of the words ''mojo'' and ''stench''.how dare u?

it is a public forum and people are free to say whatever but mediocre court jesters like u are prohibited,didn't u see the warning on top of the page?

and the fool actually looked    

start reading from now till ur great grand daughter or son is born and yet u will never be able to refer to urself as a contemporary of any one of my many well tutored proteges.

@rhymz

thanks to mojo and masturbation,u sef dey feel like badooo.when last did u straff a human that didn't stench[i didn't say stink mind u]
i neither said chick cos u obviously ymca and i dare u to ever decipher that u and ur amoeba level intelligence.


@lashontae

thanks darling for starting this amazing thread cos somehow it gave me funke and a retarded pal that claims to rhyme.
i dont understand these things i.e ur situation hence i cannot comment,however i enjoy watching drama that does not include me so maybe u should come quick with it.

rhymz:
Kush and Funkybabe can you two mofoz stop this nonsense you are doing, you are boring the thread with your shitty gists. Kush if you want to test your player skillz go and try it on some real girl you can actually see and see how you will fare instead of this rubbish rat chase, 4ck mehn! What kinda real guy does this nonsense?? And Funkybabe stop indulging him, if you are already feeling his dry yarns, why not just hand him your details and save us this boredom. The two of you are just killing the MOJO of this thread, WTF!!. . .

u this guy on my tail again.isnt it pretty obvious u just made probation.i can smell your testosterone from here having been rendered poo incontinent after all the homothugs finished with ur sorry behind.just out of curiousity,what brand of diapers do u wear[pampers i suppose]
i understand u are superman,shame u dont like women and bout being a player, i aint messi bro,i am his coach 'maradonna' with trophies from way back.

i no get ur time cos u and your opinion just dont count.sorry bro and if you still dey vex,pokunsoo mennnnnnnnnnn

thank u miss,u need to see the grin on my face realizin u might just be me ticket to naija bliss.

can u pls send a full picture to my box in a sec

funke how i go vex for u,i hav tried to update this thing ooo,cant seem to get a hang of it,can i check yours.pls dont goooooo.

i no plan comot this night,so pls dont sentence me to boredom,

i hav 2 requests

give it up for kushe the comic frog whatever that means

my 'posts' make u laugh but my every thought of u makes my heart skip and i am actually excited to be here longing for your next post

didnt realize i was green and slimy with a penchant for women that smell amazing  

funke,

ur profile aint changed,why not update it for a sec and delete afterwards.i hope u know i aint playing?

funke,

i am sure u've seen quite a number of stuff like u and i,how do the stories usually end if i may ask?especially the long distance tings,i always though u was in london i dont know why.

[quote author=fu.
now u hav a sense of humour,only makes the crave graver.wish u was here babes

@funkybabay

after some stories i've read here,i find it difficult to trust people's intentions and as much as i want to talk to u,i dont want the wrong people calling or mailin me and i guess u prolly got the same fear to.if it was here i could say sunday afternoon,victoria station by the upper crust booth or the swatch one say 2pm.see me dreaming,only tells u i wish u were here but naija brethren are somein else.

i need to talk to u and i am hoping u can facilitate that somehow cos i cant think straight for a bit

funkybaby:
are you sure?


okay. you havemy attention.

ki lo fe?

u

@funkybaby

just dey give me smileys,off my cloth for december,pursue me enter street con pour me water from on top.

see as i dey shiver in this winter's cold,longing for warmth in your warm embrace and all i get are smiling faces

abeg make person tish me as una dey toast all the naija girls wey dey die for una for naija

update your profile for a min so i can extract wat me needs so we can stop this pda[public display of affection],heard naija girls would rather binge on a pint than hav a mushy man

if naa oyinbo or elderly naija spinster for london,we for don do naming ceremony of our first pikin by now

but u is a chick,rare gem,scarce,hard to find,so why do i expect u to come cheap? watch me as i get rio tinto all the way from australia and we will mine every ounce of you out of your hiding place.babes u are my chosen jewel and one day pretty soon i will be adorned by you.

funkybaby:




iwo bobo yi, what have you been drinking?

lots of water babes

but i'm serious now,see as all man dey laff me,dey call me woman wrapper.

koriwon blow,a man that is down need fear no fall,babes i am down on my knees hitting on a chick in the presence of whoever and i dont care cos i am serious about u.it started like a joke but mafimisere ,iwonimofe mennn

i was lost at work today,just staring at me screen realizing there was a  massive difference between scoring big with scores of chicks and belonging to one special woman and suddenly boredom hit me,

i want a naija chick,eventho it scares the sh.it out of me,i miss the chemistry with one of our own.i want to eat real meat again and not lamb and sushi.finally,like tevin campbell sang, i'm ready

funkybaby,toba lo break heart mi peren,mo tibe finally fun naija niyen.

@funkybaby

i still dey here oooo,and u just dey take me dey play,kodabayii

@reality101

u have always been my brother till u taseed me,soye eemodekofefiye ee pe mi o baje ooo,owo mba me niikan aint no joke bro,modee mo iwe me on top mannn

my brain is ivy league,my education ivy league,my crib ivy league,my whip ivy league and guess what

the babe i'm loving, IVY LEAGUE

@funkybaby that was u in caps

my guy,no long thing,ija tipari.we could hav a drink when next i'm in town.cheers bro

@funkybaby

i just came across your engagement list and instantly t.i anything u like starts playing in me head

a range rover 2010 HSE babes throw it in the bag

summer in the seychelles,winter in the swiss alps babes its on me,throw it in the bag

no fear ooo,i no be yahoooo boy oooo,i am just recession proof

@funkybaby

abeg lets take it away from here and hav we some private dialogue maybe all these prying eyes would allow u send me more and then maybe we can do us some concrete yans.

i am hitting on you if that spells it out clearly and i am definitely not interested in entertaining nlers,however it would be more than a delight to entertain you,so howbout ur email add,bb pin,somein to just take me away from here.

i am listening to only me by tuface and heiiiiiii,i just took early morning flight

malorope omo pe iwo nikan lo ma lowo,malorope nobe gbogbo wa wey go make this money
ki ori reality 101 dema blow danu as he dey try shi.t the tuber of yam sized beef for yoruba people wey him chop

@reality101

get an interpreter cos idi e ma faya gbeyin gbeyin nii adult sized pampers to the rescue of this retarded egbon

@funkybaby

babi mii shooo color ree,ka jo ma rockiii,babi miii shooo color ree ka jo ma rockiii
sama jo ma logbayi pe ooo,lugba lugba,

see as my toosh ass turn rasoo on top uuuu??na waaa oooooooo
mo serious gan ooooo,mo de mean eeee baje baje

i like the hairline and the bridge of the nose and i hav imagined the rest of thine face all day
oh lookest thou what thee has done to me speaking king james english in 2010 and lovin every bit of it

jokes apart,i like this girl and maybe i need me some help,fuuuuuunke jooooooooooooooo now

@funkybaby

babi mii shooo color ree,ka jo ma rockiii,babi miii shooo color ree ka jo ma rockiii
sama jo ma logbayi pe ooo,lugba lugba,

see as my toosh ass turn rasoo on top uuuu??na waaa oooooooo
mo serious gan ooooo,mo de mean eeee baje baje

i like the hairline and the bridge of the nose and i hav imagined the rest of thine face all day
oh lookest thou what thee has done to me speaking king james english in 2010 and lovin every bit of it

jokes apart,i like this girl and maybe i need me some help,fuuuuuunke jooooooooooooooo now

i hope the reality surnamed 101 is smart enough to deduce the above post of mine was dedicated to him and all who concur with anti yoruba sentiments

@funkybaby

see as u chin me,na waaa ooo.anyways no love lost,still gbadun uuuuuuu to smitherings


@yorubaspeakershater

if to say u sabi speak english maybe i for answer u,but u are an insignificant misallocation of an extremely useful resource called time and so while u process the above words i suggest the waste of weight and space that u are dive headlong into one of the lakes formed out of the erosion gullies on the way to your village you bloody literate ignoramus

@funkybaby

aint no stalker,but me stared some more at that profile pic early this morning meaning you probably were the backdrop forming the scenic beauty in my dreams last night.never hit on a naija chick on line cos they lot got too much venom and me hates drama,but care not what dem say it is a public forum bla bla bla, i gbadun uuuuuuuuuuuu die, unowatimean

not gonna check ur history on line cos me knows most chicks talk sh.it on line but cant do nada in real life.amoye enupo.so eventho i dont enjoy loud girls with a fiery foul tongue,i wanna stay in the moment and see this crush through.what are u doin in naija

aint due there till later in the year but i am serious,nawaaa ooo,kilofunmije,mo kaaan yo funeeeee anyhow.this must be internet jazz and ewo ee ni ka ma ri enu e ninu profile picture ee.babes how ego bii o and drain some testosterone cos we about to go on a magic carpet ride,i know uve seen a bit,but come see a whole new world and trust me ,aint bragging

sorry poster,funkybaby lo distract me

i heard this song on sunday in a friend's car so maybe u should get it on ur ipod and tear your roomate's ears thru a woofer connection.

igimu jinaa sori,
oye ko kilo fun ee ,we no be mate oo,
i'm in my lane ooo
tobade koja aiye ree
mo le gboko lowo eee

u know it,u know it.

@funkybaby

i normally wont check profile pictures,but i checked yours and forbidding u hav really ugly teeth,a crush suddenly drenched me like cold sweat.
i no send anyone and maybe we can hooks up.too bad me stays in london.iwo nko? bromley to be precise. hey!!!! july tiii deee oooo. summer romances go yapaaaaaaa,i think i am going back to naija chicks and its all cos of u.

my first love was older than me eventho we were classmates in primary school.we went to separate secondary schools and i lost touch eventho it was the most secret crush ever till someone told me what school she was in in ss3.i wrote her an amazing love letter and posted it hoping she would get it,i never got a reply till i left fgc odogbolu.however,a few months later i ran into an old friend who told me how to find her.
i found her only to realize the crush was mutual as she had received my love letter and fallen for my well crafted words but she wasnt what i was expecting.she was already 17 and looked intimidatingly stunning and beautiful beyond what i could anticipate.how could she be falling for a 16 yr old boy

and so this lovesick boy started doing crazy things like getting on a bus secetly[my parents didnt allow me go anywhere without the driver] to go see my babe who was always home as her kid sisters were still in school and then i started living out beverly hills 90210.i took my friend who had started driving to opress him but unfortunately he developed a crush on her and gave her his father's car to drive on one of our visits.
i was inside gisting with her cousin when i heard the loudest bang ever.she had wrecked my friend's car against her neighbor's gate.yawaa!!!

she was to leave for A levels a few weeks into our relationship and on the day she was leaving,i came to visit and were making out on the corridor in the house when someone knocked.she looked thru the peephole and it was her mum.her mum worked on marina ,what the heck was she doing at home at 12.she pushed me into her room standing in the middle of her luggage and i had literally died as my heart couldnt hav been inside my body beating at that rate.fortunately,her mum had just come to pick something and didnt come into her room,but being a small apartment,i could hear every word and every footstep till the door closed and she was gone.her parents were the strictest parents ever and my visits were as much an adventure for her as it was for me,and she told me if she had seen me,that was the end of her A levels. those were the days and to imagine we still went back to making out after her mum left and come to think of it,we never had sex till many years later in london and how that happened,now that is another crazy story.

nice thread,and i remember 2

growing up high on butter and too much superman,one day in 1988 after lesson at ilaka st in ilupeju,my dad's driver was waiting on the other side of a normal ilupeju road and ideally i should have crossed in 3 secs,but then i stalled.a white brand new daewoo racer was rushing towards me and instantly i remembered my hero superman and how he would have saved someone about to be hit by a car but stupidly there was nobody to be saved,i ran across the street with the car screeching only a few feet from me.i was high on adrenaline and the driver did not even come down to scold me neither did my dad's driver.i almost got killed out of adventure and escaped every form of punishment.