₦airaland Forum

I karate hit obama at the dinner table because I was given 1,000,000 naira

toluxa1: I wonder ooo... anyway this is better.



Okonkwo the coffin maker was on his way to
deliver one of d coffins wen his car broke down.
Trying not to b late, he put d coffin on his head
and began heading to his destination.
A police team saw him and wanted to make
some money of him so dey challenged him:
"'where u dey carry dat thing go??"
Trust an Igbo man, now.
Okonkwo replied " I no like d place where dem
bury me so I dey relocate".
The police men all took 2 their heels!!!
(Disappear before danger)

This one really made me burst my bladder, I laff sotey I nearly shit for bodi!!!!

BOUNTYDOG: I ve seen where men push babies in the baby pushers,sometimes even 2kids & boarding buses in overseas,but I have never seen where a man carries the baby on his back.We forget the origin of the hips for women,it is meant for carrying babies.
What I see this man doing is risky as D baby will not be comfortable with his masculine bones & he wants to wash clothes,child might drop off his back as God never gifted him to carry babies on his back.

This is the best post ever, God bless u jare

WhyAWhy: [size=18pt]There are many men on this forum who are 1 cent worth of a man. I wonder what you think a man is.

Possibilities
1. His wife is cooking in the kitchen while he needs to do a quick laundry. Kitchen environment is not too good for a baby's respiratory health
2. His wife has gone to the market/is ill and he wants to save her from the trouble of carrying the baby around.

infact, you people should get a life! Sometimes i feel ashamed of being a man hearing the way some men think. What's wrong in this for crying out loud?!![/size]
[size=14pt]It takes more than having a pendulum to be called a man!!![/size]

M sure u talk like dis cos u r not married yet.

When u marry, u'll kno what's up.

Takes more than a pendulum abi

Danka7777: Useless typical women response...cute yourself! What is cute about this? When there is no money at home to feed that little baby, you women will not hesitate to jack him by the throat. My friend, drop that baby!

Correct talk jare

talina: This is adorable! No,this actually makes him MORE of a man!He loves his family and is right in there helping out and doesnt care what anyone else thinks!My interpretation anyways

So what u r tryin 2 say is that ur husband can do the same 4 u and u'll be happy wit it abi

What are nigerian ladies turnin into

Edikang-ikong: efik/ibibio

Na co-operation dey mak rice full for pot.

dani1luv: [size=13pt]We'd appreciate it if you could translate in English also, remember NL is a Public Forum! and some users and guest who visit here might not understand what you jez posted
Cheers![/size]

If he translated into english, u won't enjoy the joke...

This made me laugh 2day

Good day Dr. Bin.....

I hav a friend who is suffering from cerebrocerebelloencephalotrigeminomedulloangiomatosis

This was complicated by pneumoconiosiliconosarcoidohistoplasmocryptococcitis

Which further led to gastroenteroproctoentamoebovibrioescherichiosis

Please, help him, before it leads to..........














THE GREAT BEYOND!!!!!!!!

THANKS....... *lagusta*

Do u kno a white lady can bleach?

Do u kno u can use menses to do ketchup?

Do u kno u can use pepper water to clean up after poopin? Or peeing for ladies?

Do u kno u can use an atomic bomb to kill a mosquito?

Do u kno I hav once seen lady gaga @yaba tejuosho market?

Finally, do u kno u hav once in ur lives entered molue

Revolutnz: Presenter: Your excellency, this is the final question to win all of Nigeria's money in reserve.

GEJ: smiling...

Presenter: Remember,you've used your '50-50' and 'ask the audience' chance, you can only phone a friend.Here goes the question sir, 'Which of the following is the correct spelling:
a) umburella
b) umbrera
c) umblella
d) umbrella

GEJ: scratching his head...can I use my 'phone a friend' chance.

Presenter: Yes pls. And what's your friend called?

GEJ: Patience. My wife. Your 1st lady.

ROTFLMAO LWKMD LWTMB

Thanks 4 da posts y'all


@booqee hop I impressed u now,

BTW where is toygod?

I LAFF IN PIDGIN
I LAFF IN PIDGINER
I LAFF IN PIDGINEST!!!!!!

[quote author=freshmoney][/quote]Na wa ooo, dis joke too much, see comments......

A fat man saw an advertisement"Lose 5kg in a week". He called&said I would like to join! Lady: Ok! Be ready tomorrow at 6am. Next morning, he gets to
the office and he was taken to a room. He opens the door&finds a hot babe with shoes, underpants&shirt saying, "If u catch me u can sleep with me!"&the girlstarts
running. Man starts running but couldn't catch her. So, during the whole week exercise, he tried to catch her but couldn't&lost 5kg. He then asks for the 10kg
program. Next morning at 6am, he opens the door&saw even hotter babe in bikini saying if u catch me u can sleep wit me.
He lost 10kg that week. So, he thought this program is awesome! Lets try 25kg. The lady said"are you sure? Its really tough!!" "Why not" Next day at 6am he opens
the door expectingto see a Unclad babe but finds a Unclad man saying, "If I catch u, I will sleep with u!!" That week, he lost 40kg!...com c running!!!!!!

jeezybuck: You just made my day dear Thumbs up

Lagusta, shey na so you suppose dey claim familairity for this modern day ?

Guy, u dey jealous ni, m married wit a kid faaa!!!!!

obasijoy: @lagusta is a joke naa, is all about Yoruba ladies and respect/appreciation. No I'm not an air force secondary school alumnus. Cheers.

Ok, thanks

obasijoy: Yoruba ladies are too respectful. Today,I saw two yoruba ladies kneeling down after collecting some amount of money from the ATM.

Those ladies are from uptown jare, u can neva see any ibadan or ife chick doing that, maybe in ilorin sha......

BTW, did u attend air force second. Schl, d name sounds familiar

radar5: Take it home and enjoy your fortune.You reaped part of the two thieves' loot.Welcome subsidy to your home.

Seconded

Now this is serious

So what u r trying to say is that gbese or what's his name castrated the flies with his slush-smich-waka technique abi?

Well, I hav but one thing to say......

















RUUUUUUUBBBBBIIIISSSSSHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

toygod2: it means u r suffering from psychomodo epilepsy

NOOOO, he is either suffering from pseudotumor cerebri or pseudomyxoma peritonei

THE TOOTH FAIRY: my mom used to tell me that if my tooth fell off, the tooth fairy will change it to a one naira coin. Guess what, anytime I put the tooth under my pillow I always see a coin there next day, used it to buy guguru and epa!!!

But now, that's just fallacy!!!

Giggles

Funny enough to make me laugh in wolof

I am saying this because of two true scenarios that happened in my neighborhood..... One at home and the other at work..

My oga is a consultant and owns a big hospital. He always brags that he can never cheat on his wife. But, one day I barged into his office to inform him of an emergency when..... I caught him with the chief matron doing the do!!!!

I got home that day, still telling myself "it's not true" when I saw my neighbor, who is a pastor, escorting a lady out..... That's not the only lady ooo. The pastor is also married, so what will he be doing with countless ladies all alone in the house!!!

A consultant and a pastor, HABA!!! Married men do not exist. What do u think?

Ur black yansh lyk devil bible...

Ur "tumtum" belle lyk halleluyah band

U mess akara fly gate

U mess mosquito wear jeans

U mess kulikuli troway salute

U mess harmatan catch eba......

#GBAGAUN

Ooooh, the jokes section is getting better, LWTMB kudos