₦airaland Forum

I don’t think she expects to get her day in court. This was precipitated by another sexual allegation against the pastor. For her is more of let me share my story so a future victim will be on alert. It happened in 1999, obviously there will be no viable evidence to prosecute.

hisexcellency34:
I feel Timi's pain. But what evidence will he and his wife tender In court now for a rape case that happened over 10 years ago? Even if the wife can describe the length and width of Pastor Fat Oyinbo's dick, he may have done surgery to either enlarge or reduce it.

My advice is, if you want a good lawyer to win this case for you get Prof . Itse Sagay or Mike Ozekhome. You can't win with Falana

Thank you!!! Nigerians always conflate the two. Yes as a Christian he can be forgiven, but that has nothing to do with society. He still owes society justice. Society needs to get justice for the victims, society needs to also protect future victims.

festacman:
As Christians, Pastor Fatoyinbo is forgiven upfront but he needs HELP, Mrs. Dakolo needs healing and society needs justice to deter other predators.

If you go by most posts by men here on NL, rape is very rare. Never happens, if it does, only to children. Women, na they can never be raped, rape allegations are only made to bring men down.

They look like two different people.

The boyfriend will then move on to a new girlfriend. Freedom, lost; Sister, gone.

Don’t all these personality test thingies occur on a spectrum? maybe she is the worst kind lol I guess she feels how she feels.

Magnoliaa:


Diagnosed? You mean you were 'diagnosed with the INFJ personality type?' How is that possible?

And I disagree with you. I'm not a fan of arguments, discussions claiming this type is best, this type is this or that--all types have their good and bad sides.

The INFJ type isn't the worst (Gandhi, Mother Theresa, Jesus Christ and Martin Luther King Jr are of these types). Some of the greatest writers, artists, poets are INFJs. They are empaths, deeply insightful, altruistic, very complex--and seek to make the world better. I'd like to know why you think it's the worst though.

I love it, I'm proud to be one.

Other types are the ones that wish to be one, an INFJ or are obsessed with them. This is what I've seen on Facebook groups sha.

Biglittlelois:
Did you read the rest of my comment? Or you just highlighted the one that suits you.

I don’t want to derail the thread further.

Yes that may be your wish, but that is not the reality. Humans from other parts of the world still get their nutrition from animals or animal products (e.g eggs). We are still part of the food chain. Maybe in the future humans will learn/develop to rely less on animals for food but we are not there yet.

Abstaining from eating meat or animal products is a privilege.

How many economies in the world are developed enough to create an agricultural system that completely replaces the nutrients we get from animals? Even Hindus that don’t eat meat for religious reasons, only the upper-class exclusively avoid eating meat, fish and eggs. Even those that strictly avoid eating meat, fish and eggs, most still consume milk. They are lactovegetarian.

AgentOfAllah:
On what basis do you claim that most meat eaters eat it for survival? Yes, people 'eat' for survival, but there is a panoply of cheaply and readily available food options most people could survive on other than animal meat.

Quality20:
We live in a culture that doesn't admit that women need sex every bit as much as a man, if not more.
Conservatives put women on a romantic pedestal. Women are vaginal and sexless. Feminists deny women need men for anything.
Sex and love have become horribly confused. When religion held sway, they were inseparable (I.e. marriage). But today "Sexual liberation" has freed sex from love. It has taken love's place. Millions of men and women behave like addicts. They use sex to assuage a desperate craving for love that only love can satisfy.
Men are "rapists " because they are not giving women the love they need. The result is self-loathing and resentment against men. Feminism first makes women and men incompatible then it exploits women's frustration and rage.
"WHAT DOES A WOMAN WANT? " woman wants to be loved. She will do everything for love, even if she has to become a feminist.

Where did you hear/see that?

Apples and oranges. One is a sexual gratification causing injury to a living animal. The other is killing an animal for survival. One is rape the other is humans being part of a food chain. Ethical vegetarians/vegans might argue killing animals is inhumane but at least most people do it for survival.

tartar9:
Lol...but slaughtering them like animals and using them for peppersoup is consensual right

Apples and oranges. Bestiality infringes on the rights of the animal. An animal can’t consent to sex. Bestiality is a non consensual sex- rape.

On the surface, it shouldn’t be morally wrong but some cultures have been conditioned to view it as disgusting and immoral. It’s icky to me though.

tartar9:
Well,if you think homosexuality isnt wrong and support gay rights then incest or bestiality shouldn't be wrong either.Live and let live,isnt it

Lol you think the dude became rich in Nigeria by being a mumu? All these people they only help in a way you will still be dependent on them. The OP is smart and he is already on his way to being successful, why not stay on that lane and marry the person he loves rather than trying to deceive another girl because of an apartment, a car, possible CEO. His boss did not get to be where he is in Nigeria by being foolish, so the OP should be careful he doesn’t lose everything because of long throat.

SmallmebigGod:
So you think. He just need to be smart, take enough to soon be independent then gerrout if need be

Well, the boss/in-law can take everything back if he has a misstep. So he has to always fall in line.

SmallmebigGod:
Who control elp?

21. Can you overlook/ignore some sh!t?

Skateboard:
Nigerian men are amongst the sexiest men in the world, wonderfully created by the Creator and blessed in all departments. The average Nigerian man is well built, chiselled body like that of Kratos, blessed with the biggest Phallus in the world and always ready to put in the work when called to the other room.

https://punchyinfo.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/boat-couple.jpg

As you might have known by now, the population ratio of women to men in the world is higher hence the battle for women to secure a man to marry is an uphill task especially in the Nigerian economy that is not favourable. Even though many men are willing to marry, most do not have the financial capability to see through this monumental task. On the other hand, Nigerian men are randy and most prefer sleeping with so many women instead of settling down with one. As a woman or lady, what are the signs a Nigerian man wants to marry you? This is a tough question, to be honest, but there are always strong indications.

He Respects You: Respect is key. As a lady, if you are in a relationship with any guy and he doesn’t respect you, he can never marry you. If he doesn’t respect you, he has no regard for you and you are just like the average girl to him.

Love comes with respect, a man that truly loves you will respect you. This a big sign if any man is going to get married to you.

He is Concerned About Your Growth and Development: There are men that just want sex every time in a relationship, they never demand from you anything else, they don’t care about your goals or aspirations as long as you satisfy them in the other room, it’s hard to see this type of relationship heading anywhere except the man is just a low-life person.

One of the key signs a Nigerian man wants to marry is he getting worried about your growth and development.

Introduces You to His Family: [s]There is a saying – Family is all. Family has gone beyond those that are birthed by the same bloodline, someone who has been there for you all your life is equally a family.
A man introducing you to his family means he likes so much and his probably thinking long term for the both of you. This doesn’t guarantee 100% certainty of getting married to him but it’s a very big sign.[/s]

He Plans His Life with You: This is a no brainer, if any guy is getting married to a lady, he will have to plan his life with the lady included in it. Talks like how his job affects both of you, if he moves apartment, he wants to travel, talk of moving elsewhere and many more sensitive plans are obvious signs a Nigerian man wants to marry you.

So, ladies, if your intending husband to be in your mind does not share his goals and plans with you, just know he is using you to pass away the time temporarily.

He Misses You and Is Concerned about Your Well Being: A marriage without love will eventually hit the rocks. If a man is truly in love with you as a lady, he will be willing to marry you. When he truly loves you, he misses you and is concerned about your wellbeing wherever you are.

My sister, if a Nigerian man is going to get married to you, you will know from this explanation.

He’s Always There for You: If anything happens to you, he is not himself. Whenever you need him, he makes the effort to be there and he at least follows up with you if he couldn’t be there.

One of the biggest signs a Nigerian man that wants to marry you is he putting you first and making sure you navigate problems together.

He Talks About Marriage-Related Issues: There are lots of players and time-wasting Nigerian men, men like this do not care about any marriage talk, they always shun you when you bring this matter up. If a man sees his future with you, he talks about marriage issues and sometimes he lets slip by saying he is actually going to get married to you.

He Has No Problem Meeting Your Family: As a lady, you love a guy so much and you want him to meet your family, if your man is always dodging this request, he sees no point in doing it coz he doesn’t see a future with you. He’s only with you for his selfish gains and sexual pleasure.

No matter how busy your man is, if he loves you and is willing to marry you, he will create the time to know your family if you request such from him.

He Reassures You of His Love: See, relationships are not always smooth and plain-sailing, there will always be ups and downs. If a man constantly reassures you of his love in difficult times, he sees the future with you.

We all need reassurances, one of the biggest signs a Nigerian man wants to marry you is him always reminding you how he loves you.

He Apologizes and Wants to Settle Differences: When your man picks up on trivial issues and gets angry at all times without trying to apologize or settle differences, he is surely wasting your time.

A man who loves you and wants to be with you will always want to settle differences and see both of you happy, it’s just simple as that.

Wrapping Up: Getting married is a big decision and requires commitment from both the man and the woman. Nothing is always cast in stone and the points listed here are strong signs a Nigerian man wants to marry you. At the end of the day, the signs are always there for you to see. As a lady, do not be blinded when the signs are obvious.


Source: https://punchyinfo.com/signs-a-nigerian-man-wants-to-marry-you/

That one does not work with most Yoruba men, that’s NO sign at all. Most Nigerian men know that most Nigerian girls start a relationship in the hopes that it leads to marriage. So all these points is what they use to give the girl hope. I have heard of guys going though the motions of buying a house together with their girlfriends, going house hunting lol of course they know there will be a breakup before he has to purchase one with her. lol fear Nigerian men!!!

An instagram model has alleged that she was sexually assaulted by Warda. This is his third allegation, he was also accused of sexual assault in Greece where he plays. The Egypt FA decided on the disciplinary actions after a social media conversation between Warda and some women were leaked online.

“Egypt national team officials announced on Wednesday excluding the national team winger, Amr Warda, from the team squad participating in 2019 Africa Cup of Nations in Egypt.

The team officials announced the decision to rule out Warda was due to his misbehavior and immoral actions.

The winger participated in the competition’s opening game against Zimbabwe which ended with a 1-0 victory for the Egyptians. Warda played the last 20 minutes after he replaced Abdallah El Said.

The decision comes ahead of the national team’s second game at the group stage on Wednesday night against DR Congo.

Warda is the second Egyptian player to be excluded from an African competition during the tournament after Ibrahim Said was excluded from the tournament in 2000 by the team coach at the time, Mahmoud”

*Egypt Today.

So he got you an apartment, he is about to buy you a car, he wants to choose a wife for you. Yea if you don’t want to be in control of your marriage go ahead with your boss’s daughter.

Divorce is ugly and nobody wants any part of that. However, there are some toxic marriages where divorce is the best option for the kids and everyone involved.

Also, your post is meant for Christian marriages. Not everybody subscribes to “a remarried spouse is in permanent adultery” the definition of adultery I know is when you have sex with someone other than your current spouse.

lol what a reach? OP, how did you make this connection?

Classic emotional blackmail and she is trying to manipulate you into not leaving her. Don’t waver in your decision, you can suggest/advice her on how to get help if she has suicide thoughts. Know that whatever happens it’s NOT your fault. You are even a gentleman, some guys they ghost you when they want to break up with you, no closure nothing.

lol where did I type that?

bigmic111:
you agreed indecent dressing plays are role at least.

why there is an increase of rape in Islamic countries is because of easy access to pornography and worst of all hypocrisy on the part of those that practice Islam there.

it is wrong to view pornography based on their religion but they still go ahead and do it in secret. now they get addicted to it and suddenly have the urge to try it out. etc

point is "indecency" is still the major root cause. every dysfunctional behavior in society have their pathways that have been studied but in this age and time, nobody wants to agree their "indecency" can serve as a trigger for rape either for themselves or for another poor victim(be it a baby)

Growing up you hear the standard phrase “our leaders are bad” to explain our bad economy. I gave up on Nigeria when I realized the people were the problem. An average Nigerian is out for himself, willing to defraud his fellow citizen. The culture worships money and scorns integrity. In Nigeria, success is measured by wealth and people are willing to get it from anywhere so they can show off and get adulations from Nigerians apathetic to the source of the wealth.

Tribalism, money-worshipping, make a very fertile environment for corrupt politicians to thrive. Most Nigerians if given the keys to the treasury will not act differently from our current politicians. Nigeria gets the government it deserves.

Like most crimes, for a rape to occur there has to be motive, opportunity and access. It has nothing to do with ‘indecent’ dressing or porn. If a rapist meets a woman dressed in a burka were he has opportunity and access he will rape her. Motives for rape varies, some get off from the power they wield over their victims, some hate and want to punish/humiliate their victims for rejecting their advances etc.

If porn and indecent dressing was a huge motivator why then do rapes happen in sharia countries, where the women are forced to cover up and little to no access to porn.

*modified.

Why not try dating her first?

Oh ok you reserve judgement for single women.
Got it.

bukatyne:
Signs.

We should respect the marital bond is different from we should condone immorality.

That was why I painstakingly used other examples that had nothing to do with indecent behaviour.

A man is to protect his wife: In this OP, Kim Kardashian is Mrs. West who is Mr. West's wife.

When we talk about Kim Kardashian as a woman, we can discuss her morality or lack of.

Yes you misread the OP. He said husbands should protect all wives even the ones that exposed their genitals to the world. So I am wondering why righteous bukatyne all of a sudden is parroting what some monikers have been telling you since which is “it’s people’s choices and we should mind our business”

TBH I was expecting your comment to be like the first two that would be in line with what you preach. I don’t want to derail the thread, I actually clicked on it because I thought it was about husbands protecting their wives from ‘evil’ in-laws. As you know I don’t care about what two grown adults do with their private life so I wasn’t even going to submit a post until I saw yours.

Why would I stay off your posts and threads?

Modified

bukatyne:
1. Except I misread the OP, he was hammering on husbands protecting their wives and not slutty women. Let's stick to topic.

2. Kanye's choice is Kanye's business.He has the choice to marry whom he will. He has, and we should respect it. For instance, I can't go to Kanye's instagram page to call his wife a slut; it is NOT in my place to disrespect his wife.

3. Ok

4. This is not about women. I encourage everyone to do the right thing. Is it so bad telling men and women to maintain sexual purity/ stop having multiple sex partners, be respectful, decent, hardworking and other good virtues there are? Is there anything wrong with promoting decency in the society? While indecent people continue to promote indecency, I and others interested will continue to promote decency. Anybody not interested in decency should stay off my threads and posts. Sometimes I see mentions and I am wondering if I told women to stop going to school or achieving great things. All I have said is be decent and to achieve your dreams (easier), marry a good man!

5. My posts are plain enough for all to see that I have never promoted nor supported waywardness or indecency in men or women. I hold both parties to same standards and I even have a couple of threads addressing men.

A part of my post on another thread:

https://www.nairaland.com/4436386/transactional-vs-validational-sex#66768727

Based on all your posts here you have made it clear you disagreed with the lifestyle of ‘sluts’ so all of a sudden why are you okay with Kanye’s choice marrying and protecting a ‘slut’? Isn’t Kim one of the sluts that is making the world dangerous for your kids to grow up in? (Your words ). I am not considering Ray J because two consenting adults made a decision to make a sex tape together.

You lost me too, can’t decide wether you want women to live accordingly to pre-defined standards or you are for women making their own choices in how they live their lives. It seems for you that choice is only reserved for men.

bukatyne:
You have lost me.

This post would make sense if I condemned a Lady D for marrying a Charlie Boy.

Isn't it funny that you are not even considering R Jay that she made the video with.

This is not about man/ woman except you tell me you consider Kanye to be morally better than Kim Kardashian.

The post is about husbands protecting wives yet you still find a way to prove I hate/condemn women.

These things are principles.
It might not be a Kim: it might be a virgin who can't conceive; the husband should protect her.

It could be that his family doesn't like the way she cooks, he should protect her.

Etc.

lol this is a long write up for you? Ok let me make it short enough for you to understand. A man or woman can decide whatever they want, as long as they tell their partners or find whom they are equally yoked with.

If you had time to read my long write up, you wouldn’t have typed the bolded.

solite3:
no need for this long write up.
Maybe the husband is fine with it.

How about if a man places his job, or mother above his wife you all that are supporting her will quickly begin to condemn him.

Job or career shouldnt be above your spouse especially as a woman. If you dont sow good seeds taday you will only suffer the consequences in the future

oh Ok as long it’s a man you have no moral injunctions for him because it’s his choice but for a woman you roll out your moral edicts so you can save women from eternal damnation. Got it.

bukatyne:
Hahahahahahaha

If you understand marriage as I see it, my post would seem inconsistent.

This post is not about Kim or her choices; it is about Kanye's duty to her.

Whether Kim is indecent or not is a different matter.

Who will you blame? The blame goes to the foolish married man that broke an oath before God and man (witnesses and family) to be faithful and take no other.

lol you are not consistent at all. So you don’t have any moral instructions for Kim? All of a sudden you are okay with people’s choices? Because of you there’s a 20 page thread and counting of people losing their minds because you insist that your way is the right way for women. Why is kim different?

bukatyne:
I agree 100% with you.

Kanye knew who Kim was and is fantastic with it.

EOD.

Why did you say America? I was referring to the Nigerian society. Does the girl live in America? Anyways, just because you live in America doesn’t mean you can’t get influenced by Nigerian society. Your extended Nigerian family or if you live in a Nigerian community can influence your decision. Yes! Society does influence people’s decisions, in marriage, career, parenting style etc.

An armed robber (creates victims) vs A woman marrying a guy - apples and oranges. One is a crime, the other is not.

P.S I am not in support of her, yes, it’s her choice to choose career over marriage but I think she should have married a guy that shared her values and her vision, and not switch up on the poor dude after they got married.

solite3:
this is a very stupid comment, so it is society that forced you to marry even in American that is a so called free land? An arm robber can also blame society for the reason he took to stealing because sociey did not offer him a better option.

Did society point gun at you to make your decision?

All I see here is pride coupled with disdain for a husband and kid maybe the the husband begged her to marry him.