₦airaland Forum

Akpos came home early
4rm office.
He was shocked to see
his wife with another
man (Jona). He told his
wife to get out of d
room. Then he said
"Jona, what are you
doing
here?" Jona replied "I
love ur wife and she
loves me too." To this,
Akpos said, I know she
loves me not you. After
a long
conversation, they
decideded "we'll hold our
guns and fire at each
other and pretend to be
dead, she will mourn
who she loves
most". The wife hears
the gunshots, she
enters d room, shocked
and surprised.
Suddenly she started
laughing loudly, rejoicing
and shouting, "Kay, get
out of that
wardrobe, these two
idiots are dead!". .
Akpos, pretending to be
dead, fainted from
there!

Fun Time!!!
Imagine If animals and
insects were on
facebook, we'll
be having posts and
comments like......
1. MOSQUITO WALL
POST:
Finally PHCN don off
light, blood sucking
things.
COMMENTS:
(a) Bleep up, dey don on
gen for my end.
(b) Abeg bros which
area you dey? My people
don fleet house.
2. DOG WALL POST:
Na wa oh..... I never even
stay reach 5mins, all
these calabar people
don dey eye me. *Ghost
mode activated, them
no go see me*
escaping things on my
mind.
COMMENTS: My
neighbour na calabar
too. The
man eyes no good for
where dogs dey... I go
bite am soo.
3. RAT WALL POST:
Omo na die I dey oh.....
No food for my master
kitchen. Na ehm books
go hear am nah. Ehn
think say I come ehm
house to watch tv abi?
COMMENT: Your master
stingy, disown am jor.
4. CHICKEN WALL POST:
On the 1st of Dec. I'll be
traveling for one
month, if you need my
attention, enter bush I
no fit shout. All these
xtians no be em at all.
COMMENT: No be only
you oh, I dey migrate
too.
5. HE-GOAT WALL POST:
Heat mood activated,
any she-goatonline for
sex chat?
COMMENTS:
(a) She-goat. @He-goat
you're a capital BIG fool.
(b) He-goat. @She-goat,
pretender, as if you
no dey feel Hot. Carry
your smelling backside
comot for post jor.
6. COCK WALL POST:
All these hen go dey run
like say dey no wan
do. But if you catch
them, dem go bend
quickly, set for doggy
style.
COMMENT: Your own
better nah, you dey
catch
them. The ones for my
area na fast and
furious. I don pursue
tire....
7. RAM WALL POST:
As Salah don dey reach,
na churchthings
from now on. (blood of
Jesus go cover me)...

Why worry over ASUU?
migrate from your
University to a private
UNI with the SAME
MATRIC NO; simply
TEXT "PORT" to 38312
for 50naira only

****R.I.P****
RIHANNA IS DEAD
Rihanna died this
morning at about
12:42am. According to
reliable source, she died
after an
unsuccessful surgery
that was performed on
her a day before.
Her burial is to be fixed
during the week. We are
going to miss you
Rihanna.
Rihanna Igbeho was a
23yrs old Primary School
Teacher from Edo
state, Nigeria.... R.I.P....

That_Dude_Fego: Ha! Funny how i won u though. .


OK. . Check this

I cruise to the brawl,in fine benz/ even pay the b o z o's bike fare/ Fego's known to fight fair/
. So when i rub his eye with 'alligator pepper' . . . He'll shed crocodile tears !/

We saw with great impact when/. Sidd breaks his hands,legs/ .
So this compatriot wont ' Arise' if we raised the Anthem' / .

U3 already proved this lady 'harmless' / like 'tank tops', the way he harmed him /
We saw him lose so much 'blood '. .with which U3 . 'paint the town red'/

His wackness will go back in depths / if i kick over his dirt /
. . So when i plant blows over his head/ kids will shout . .'old Roger is dead!!/

Im hatching plans . . while he's yet to count his chickens/ So , after this beating /
We'll see profs angry . . when marking , this Scripts/.
Cos he's a dull nigga, and couldn't. . 'Fill in, the gaps' in his teeth!!/

He cant step up to me . .

I cover generation gaps . . in record speed/ while he gets weak , .from jogging, his memory'/
So when we hear Scripts is Ill, . we laugh cos its in name only!!/.

While i rap , he starts to dance/and my fans start to laugh/ Cos all Script wore to the brawl . . was a birthday suit , with a hat to match! /

Js picture the wacko. . How,

as an angry invigilator, the way i tear scripts in shreds / for bending his head/ .
. . I Use ma goatee to strangle him there . .if he tries to 'beard' a lion,here in its lair!!/

While Im getting the girls . .

U corner boys, U no they shame/ . So if he claims he 'gettin heads' . .its Cos each time girls see him . . They throway face!!/

JESUS!!!

[b]I charge wit d force of ten
bulls/ detaching d spinal cords off em fools/ listened 2d
master's voice...
Followed d normal
procedure/ "dont enter
2ru d window"/ left ma
enemies in a "web" of
confusion/ dey couldnt
configure/. . wif a nice
precision/ knock em off
position/ "took em out"
lik leisures/ cos dem, i
'out-numbered' lik
counting public figures/...
Wif a beta composure/ i
am sleek_ i am sharp_
My-lines-engraved/ i am
sick_ i am rap_ My
rhymes-in-flame/ effd
ya chick wif a stick/ dried tha juice in a quick lick/ those scenes shud be on a top rated porn flick/. . . nigga,
Lets tk a pick/ n u'll get
stoned lik u gave
medusa a peek/ so if u
think dat ya bad, i'll
treat u like "T.A ORJI
speech"/. . . . You will "Lie-in-
state"/ when it comes to flow, mine-is-great/ running the game wif good pace/. . . am feeling
(filling) myself i dont
need a norsel/ my hot
drools are measured by
thermocouple/ bin 2ru d
struggle/ so in dis
tussle/ b4 u show ur
muscle/ 4 trouble/ am d
kinda dude dat'l hv ya
fam body chopd n
puzzled/ in da muddle/
cos ma mind cuddle/ a
million rotten-thought/
2knock yall off/ ya
rockin-horse/ so comin-forth/ wif goons cocking-
guns/ i'l break yall like
brooms/ dey'l b gone so
soon/ wif massive
wounds/ wen canons
go boom/ in da bloody
afternoon/ wen i attack
mc's(em seas)... Jst 2
cause a ship-wreck/. . .
Leave-them/ in little-pigments/ n dis wack
rappers, i lead them/ cos am fly, but they are
little-piglets/. . . I possess da
cannibal hannibal lectar
flow/ wif da best
techs... Mechanical
radical metals, Yo!/ am
so sick, so ill, i need a
medical mental dose/ so
wif a flow-intense/ and no-pretense/ I carry-on/ pulling drive-bys wif toyota avalon/ "ram" into dis weak peeps wif ma
massive horns"/ so if u
think hiphop is "dead". . .
Am just an epitom of its
4kin "carrion"// BIATCH!!!
[/b]

dipo2much: u wan thife lines abi
enough punchlines lyin in the music thread already

lwkmd. . . La jst wetin dey my mind immediately ah see this topic.

The government
announced that if you
have
5 children your salary
will be increased by
50 percent.
Akpors heard the news
and said to his wife,
"Darling, I have a kid
with my girlfriend. I'm
going to bring him so we
can add him to our
4 kids."
When he came back, he
saw only one of his
children remaining. He
asked, "where are the
others?"
His wife replied, you are
not the only one
who heard the news,
"THEIR FATHERS HAVE
COME FOR THEM!"

Akpos was in love with
a certain girl, but never
had the guts to tell her.
One night, at around
11pm, he summoned
some courage and
sent her a text
message saying, 'I love
you, I wanna date u.
Please reply and tell me
how u feel. 'A few
seconds later he
received a message
alert on his phone. He
was sooo scared &
tensed to open it that
night, so he decided not
to check the reply until
in the morning when he
is less tensed.
When he woke up d
next day, he said his
prayers, did his morning
chores, brushed his
teeth,ate his breakfast,
took his bath, combed
his hair, then climbed
back in bed and gently
picked up his phone to
read the message.
As he started reading
this is what he saw...
Dear customer you have
insufficient balance to
complete your request.
kindly recharge your
account and try again.

Akpors was in a taxi chatting
with a
friend on facebook
and
suddenly discovered
that
the man sitting beside
him was
reading his
conversation.
Since akpors did not want to
embarrass
the man,
he decided to change the
topic of the chat;. . . . Abeg
oga, please
tell Kabiru
Sokoto or Abu Qaqa
that
I only took two of the
bombs we
just
manufactured for this
operation.
Let them
know
as well that I may find
it difficult to
get to the
target place before the
bombs explode because
there is
terrible
traffic
jam now but
nevertheless,
I am sure casualty
figure will be
high since we
are five in our taxi and
all
the vehicles in the
traffic will be affected
too. We have
less than
3minutes for the bomb
to go off
bye bye and
take care of my parents
and
siblings as
agreed. The Man,
without allowing
the taxi to
stop quickly
opened the taxi door
and jumped
out.

Wahala at a roadblock...
Akpors,driving the
latest BMW, was pulled
over by Naija policeman
at a roadblock...
"Congratulation s," said
the cop..."Because you
are wearing your
seatbelt you have just
won N500000 in an
Arrive Alive safety
competition!"
Akpors could hardly
believe his luck.
"So tell us what are you
going to do with your
cash?" asked the traffic
cop.
"Well, I guess I'm going
to get a driver's license,"
Akpors answered...
Awkward silence...
"Oh, don't listen to him!"
yelled the guy in the
passenger seat. "He
always tries to be
smart when he's
drunk..."
Another awkward
pause and a surprised
look on a policeman's
face...
Meanwhile this whole
noise and bustle wakes
up the third guy in the
back seat who just
took one look at the cop
and moaned, "Damn,I
told you stealing the
BMW was a bad idea! A
Mazda would have been
better..."
At that moment there
was a knock from the
boot and this voice
asked, "Are we over the
border yet?"
At this point the
policement,quit e
shocked, looks around
and asks, "Okey, my
brothers,how do we
share this money?

Paulina davies Peter (P.D.P)
Lucky Martins Abraham Ojo.=>L.M.A.O