₦airaland Forum

Timagex:
DISCLAIMER : READ THIS AT NIGHT FOR MAXIMUM ENJOYMENT!


　　The year was 2014 and I have just been hired to cover a christian burial ceremony in Ibadan where I was based. It was my first burial job, so, it was a big deal. I was not in the least nervous because I have attended burials and seen dead bodies before. Little did I know that I was in for an experience. A typical Nigerian christian burial ceremony usually has lined up activities like the wake, the service of songs, lying in state, etc. My experience happened shortly after the wake. The wake is usually conducted around the early evening time of the day. The coffin containing the “papa or mama” will be laid in a decorated room and people will come to pay their respect. This is called the lying in state. The arrangement was the same at this burial. The deceased was a bit popular in the area and this resulted in a large turnout. I was not able to take some essential and important shots because of the crowd, so, I had to patiently wait. It was around some minutes to 7pm when I finally had my chance to take pictures as most of the guests had left by then. I got into the room, left the door opened, turned on my reliable nikon d40x and started taking my own “essential shots” of the decorations, the coffin alone, etc. and then it happened!

Guy, you funny die.

O na nu!

I will miss seeing that her big bumbum in bomshort on TV.

Oga Dave, abeg travel from Port Harcourt to Warri, then Sapele to Benin.

Make you see wetin Nigerians dey go through.

OLAADEGBU:
I Was Security Guard And Now President; Nigeria Can Accommodate Everyone – Tinubu Tells Nigerians In India.

No bi Mobil they say him work?

bennybuhari:
DSS has become so useless, interfering in tailor matter
Is that not the work of police

You are not well.

Na wa o

This should have been a police case na.

There's a big problem with Nigerian security personnel. Once they have gun, they think themselves as demigods.

Also, that Tavor series gun DSS (I also see some NAVY officer with it too) use should be handled carefully. It's not a gun to threaten someone with, because it discharges at the slightest trigger.

God will continue to punish Muhammadu Buhari wherever he is. He brought all these nonsense upon Nigeria

Acekidc4:
Which Judge get the mind to Nullify this already done and dusted peaceful Election 🤔 as in see Men Dem Na🙄 Judge go see all this Powerful Men and say him wan collect power from them 🤔 Inposicant!!

As Acekid who buys petrol at 100 naira per litre in APC filling station.

I maintain that PEPT will favour Peter Obi or Atiku, but Supreme Court will hand back to Tinubu.

PEPT may favour Peter Obi and Atiku, but Supreme Court will give it back to Tinubu.

This I have seen.

Biko, before you quote me, I am fully #OBIDIENT.

CJStarz:
Dora onye Igbo. Nnem keekwanu?

Adi'm mma, nna m

That small boy (I senior am) called Messi na agba boolu!

Onye egwu kara aka ka obu. Better player.

I like as he didn't go to Middle East

DSS and Mary Odili.....that thing una dey find, una go soon see am.

Dottore:
More expo on the long awaited Tribunal judgment is coming out.
Mary Odili gave Expo 1.
DSS just gave Expo 2.
Fellow Nigerians una eye don clear. Brace yourselves for the next 3 years with BAT.

Pray and Hope for the best.

Exactly 💯

Onochie House of commotion.

Who is that small boy running his mouth.

Acekidc4:
An eye for an eye only make the world go blind.

NO. This is a very useless statement I have heard in my life.

An eye for an eye will not make the world go blind, it will only make people to be cautious in dealing with others.

helinues:
This one go sit down for his house go dey dish orders.

Eish

Something is actually wrong with you.

Vinnie2000:
For Older and Established players like Ronaldo and Benzema, CORRECT!

For YOUNGER players Like Allain St Maximin, NO!

As a Player When you Retire, you want to look Back on your Career and smile @the Trophies won and Impact you made in the Game.😊

This is the Mistake JayJay Okocha and Odion Ighalo made.
They Put MONEY ahead of Trophies/Personal Accolades and Regretted it.😒

I Just Hope Victor Osihmen does not Make same Terrible Mistake!🤨🙁

You sabi football

Princejydo:
Good afternoon nairalander, pls in my apartment, the bore hole is sunk besides the soakaway and now the soakaway is full, and the water is usually coming out especially during the raining season. I want to ask that is it safe to drink the water. Though we have been drinking it since I got there around 2019 but now the soakaway is full and the caretaker has refused to do the needfull

Whether the Soakaway is full or not, don't drink that water, even after evacuation.

What is causing the leak?

Are you sure it's not the PSV that is popping on that truck. Probably, due to overloading?

NLC has lost its usefulness.

Nothing dey come out of NLC after Oshiomhole 's tenure.

Which beautiful city?

As a full Pitakwa guy, there's nothing beautiful about PH. The only road in PH is Aba road, which is even a 2-lane road.

But truth be told, driving in PH has become easier after all the overhead bridges (not flyover) Wike built.

These guys will work, that's in Nigeria's scale of measurement.

Blaze14k:
She's from elu. I will send you a message to ur inbox now

Just replied

Tinubu is an agbero, NURTW is an agbero group. So??

Na wa o

Naija don rugged

Obaseki, who did you vote for?

A man whose only manifesto was "emi lokan". Yet Nigerians were blinded by tribalism

Mbaaaaa.....e never start sef.

Una say Igbo man cannot be president of Nigeria, abi?


In case una no know........there's no tribe better prepared for the worst in this country than the Igbo people.

Cow wey no get tail, na God dey drive flies for am.

tballeyy:
Trump or no Trump is not Nigerians problem now ..all we need to b thinking now is how we can survives in this current situation in Nigeria.. things too hard
Let Trump face his problem 😠

Who did you vote for in the last election

Oduok:
Sending kids to holiday lessons makes no sense.

Most of you will make your kids go to school till they become useless. You took them to school at age 3 and abandon them there. During long vacation you still send them to school. To do what?

Can't you spend time to bond with your kids? What exactly are they going to achieve in school during vacation? Vacation lesson only favour school owners, not you. Allow kids rest for God's sake.

If you should engage kids during long vacation then teach them skills. Enrol your kids in centres that they can learn practical computer usage, coding, programming, painting and decoration, catering, musical instruments. Let them learn martial art, how to shot guns, how to wrestle. Teach them something beyond pure academics.

If a school should organize long vacation class then it should gear towards extra curricula activities - debate, modelling, music concert, science fair, mini project. How would you call kids back to school during holiday to learn Math, English, Chemistry, Social studies, accounting, by same teachers that taught them during school period. What is the difference? If these teachers knew what to teach why didn't they do it during normal school session.

Education is beyond memorizing facts. Give your kids opportunity to develop and be better prepare for life.

I don talk this same taya

Blaze14k:
I would like to use this opportunity to seek guidance based on the issue I have on ground. I believe it's igbos especially elderly person who is in a better position to give me a reasonable explanation. I told my mum my girlfriend is from ohafia, abia state and she instantly told me I can't get married to her. Her reason is because people from ohafia, arochukwu, izombe, and few other places in abia state are regarded as OSU. I complained to other members of my family but they also rejected her.

I have made some research personally and found out people from other part of igboland marry from those places. Now my question is why are they strongly rejecting her cos it doesn't make sense to call everybody from different local government in abia state OSU.

I've made more research on the girls family and found out they are king makers and her father belongs to eze's cabinet.

Her father and mine are no longer alive. They both have a traditional title and belong to eze's cabinet too. Please I need your advice cos I really want marry this girl. I also know that people encounter alot of difficulties when they want to get married. So I need a clarification from someone who has extensive knowledge on igbo tradition. Thank you

Ah! My Ohafia?

First, who told your mum Ohafia people are OSU? Your mum lacks history.

The best thing you will do for yourself is to marry that Ohafia girl.

Ohafia people are hospitable.

Inbox me, let tell you what to do. Which village in Ohafia is the girl from? What's the family name?

Your poor performance starts from preparing just one week to the interview date.

The problem with most Nigerians is they think interview is like a class examination where you have to read the toughest part of the course. No bi so.

The ability to communicate and be understood is what makes one ace any interview.

If you are fluent and have basic knowledge of the job you are applying, you will pass any interview.

My first job interview, the HR asked if I have a girlfriend, omo... I use that one hold them for blokos. I funnily narrated how we have been faring and how I will apply that skill on the job.

They all laughed and I got the job later.

Be a good communicator

Islie:
https://leadership.ng/aradel-holdings-modular-refinery-ready-for-operation-soon/

How soon is the soon?