yes

NOPE!!! Think about it, makes the same mistake 4 times Does not sound very bright.

Long distant relationship is near impossible, and very expensive. It takes a huge sacrifice.

Pinky, I was in your husbands situation. It ended in divorce. Please just realize your role as a step-mother. In your case, your there to support the father's decisions concerning the child. Establish your role and let him know your role.

Be willing to fight for your relationship. The thing about him looking at a new home with the ex is inappropriate. It might have felt familiar for him or he might reason that the mom needed to feel secure about where the child lives. It is still wrong, because you can not live your life around a child or the ex. You have to live your own lives. Next time let him know it is wrong.

People live in the past and on memories, but remember memories only exist in the mind and are not part of the real world. Why you holding on the card? get rid of it if your not going to do anything with it. Move to the present and on a loving relationship. About you husband comparing you. He is living in the past it is wrong it is called baggage.

Though your expectations might be unreasonable or emotional, he should respect your because your his wife. I wonder if you taught him how to respect you? Like I said fight for your relationship in a loving way. Jesus turned the other cheek, but he spoke the truth and just did not lie down and let people walk on him. Be assertive and take responsibility for you part in the relationship.

White towel Strange Nairaland customs!!! I bet your a really proud man to marry a virgin.

Both you and sis need to get rid of the fiance. You two are going to have to move on from this, because sadly your family, and that is the fact. Hopefully, you can look at it that your sister did you a favor.

Imagine if you two actually got married, you had some children spent 10 or 15 years of your life with this guy and you ended up in divorce.

I am American, I was sad we lost, but had to give recognition and adoration to the Ghana soccer team. They played a good game. The last goal was made while the guy was hit in the back and he twisted his body to make the kick. that was skill!!!

Women are always crying about equality, but in reality they are looking for a gender based social handout.

Women want men to buy them a drink, have an auto to take them out, purchase their dinner and date. Open doors for them, defend their honor. Don't let them get wet in the rain, while we have to park the car and get wet. If we get lucky, they want us to either have our own place or pay for the hotel. They want us to have a good job, while they can be mediocre. We have to buy them roses and chocolates. We pay for coffee. It is one sided. Yet, nowadays the modern women can barely cook and lacks domestic skill sets.

These feminist talk about equality? Get a grip. It is all one sided. Men if you hook up with a western woman. You can expect to give and not receive. You will be under appreciated, disrespected, and she will live with a sense of entitlement. In Cali it is a 75% divorce rate. Men are no longer interested in Cali women, we are looking for foreign brides from Russia, India, and the far east or Africa.

If your looking to be a player, Cali is the place cause there are a lot of single women here, cause the are not as desired.

Some people age poorly, some age gracefully. It all depends on your situation. Age is also dependent on lifestyle. I he a young 36? Just really depends. I personally would not like my daughter marrying a 36, unless he had a lot to make up for it in other ways. Like being a good responsible man, with good health.

Who cares is she is 5 yrs older? Go for it.

One sided, you poster make fun and wise cracks about men.  Is it ok to defame women?  

Okay.  Truth be told, I met a women that smells like the fish market?  She was in bed all covered up, pulled back the sheets, Blam!!! the smell hit me like a truck on a highway.  My nostrils burned, my eyes teared up.  My cucumber shrivled, like a kosher pickle.  Why!!!   I loved this women, spent weeks courting her.  She was the ONE!!!!  Dreams of family, and endless nights of love. All faded aways.

Life is a biotch!!!

Fear resides in the mind and Faith resides in the spirit.  Many people have fears, but with the strength of the the spirit, we overcome the material mindfull fears that have been conditioned into us from this material world.

If I were you, I would ask myself where this need to have a child comes from?  Is this strong desire a part of my ego centric thoughts that are worldly?  Or are they spiritual is of God's will?  Is surrogates God's will?  That is something I would do a lot of praying for.  With faith, I think God will provide you with direction.

Not sure about this post. You have it set up as if you are portraying men as perpetrators and women as victims. This is a stereotype that further degrades women and men.

Obviously she made a mistake with the text, but that is already passed, and yet you continue to bring it up or use it.  Human beings are the only animals that will continues to punish or suffer for the same mistake continuously,  makes no sense to continue to suffer for the past?

I hear you about the face book.  Facebook is nothing but a social networking site for booty calls.  Lots of wolves out there preying on silly women calling us men friends, when we are looking for some pssy on the side.  You are right to make her delete all contacts.  You should make her cancel her account, and set your expectations for your marriage to last for the long run.

Also remember, not every one is as smart(common sense) as yourself.  Some people we marry  make really bad decisions.  For example, some men or women are bad with money.  Point is: some make bad decisions and I have learned that you can not let people who make bad decisions lead in certain aspects for the relationship or marriage.  They should lead in other things, you are a team now work as ONE. Work with what we bring to the table.  In your case, as a married couple you have to be stronger in making the smart decisions to keep your family together, so learn the power dynamic in your marriage, and learn how to get your expectations met.  Not everyone is created equal, sometimes families need a leader, cause not everyone can lead.  Sounds like wifey can't lead in this aspect, so use your skills to lead here to keep the family together.  Maybe as she matures she will be able to, but right now if you let her your family will spiral to an end.

P.S. let the past go, no sense continue suffering, it is just the past and only exist in your mind, it is a dream or memory.  Come back to the present and enjoy this reality.  Peace &  love.

Sounds like your going to have a tough role being the step mother. I see you mentioned two problems:

1. Your not sure about the card, so clear it up with your husband. Just be open about and tell him how you feel. You feel insecure about the card, so just tell him in a way that he won't be defensive. Say something like," hey while I was cleaning, I noticed the father's day card and you know how women are. We sometimes feel strange with words about kissing the ex, Makes me feel insecure, cause our whole life and the future of our family takes the both of us. pause and , let him explain the card.

2nd problem: You don't like the idea the he sleeping with the kid. Your sounding like a jealous woman. Perfectly understandable, what step parents wants to share a spouse, lol.

Again, just tell him how you feel, be open and honest and communicate in a way that won't make him defensive. Just tell him he is your life and you miss him on those nights. Can we try and get the daughter to sleep on her own? Might be an opportunity in there to tell him you expectations that you need to make you happy in the long run.

Another suggestion is to do some research on "i feel statements" for conflict resolution, also look up "reflective listening". Those are just some pointers, hope it helps.

Kind of strange, but whether you believe some prophet has told you this or not, something in your surroundings must have triggered your feelings.

I would take any feeling that your life is threatoned as serious.

I semi recently married my wife, she is 44; I am 42.  She has never been married before; she was married to her career.  I was married once before to a younger woman 10 yrs younger. 

Personally I like older women.  Many of my older friends who have had experience with young women prefer older women.  Seems that people at our age have been conditioned on how to behave.  We have more experience and people skills.

My wife is a very beautiful woman.  She is very health conscious.  She also made sure she did not get emotionally used up waiting for her ONE, so she preserved her heart and protected it from many heart breaks; I am thankful.  She told me she believes if she slept around a lot, been in love with to many different guys, she would have become spiritually and mentally used up(numb), and when that one guy came along, she might not have anything left to give.

I am a very lucky man.  She reminds me that I am a very blessed man, lol.  I tell her she is very lucky to have me also.  It goes both ways.

I guess what I am saying is that what ever you do, make sure you do it for LOVE. not so much for age.

@28Schweet finally a woman who makes sense.

odiaero:

But I don't think every one can afford it

Of course, as a MAN you need to be financially responsible and make good financial decisions for your family, So if no money, make the best out of your honeymoon period. Just make sure to go do stuff. Do the best you can and love her and hold her. Treat her special it is an investment. She will cherish you.

She definitely knows what she is looking for. She is testing the waters, telling you don't waste her time if she is only going to be a casual fling.

I bet you won't be able to get any sx if you tell her you have no intent, jokingly, of marriage.

keep an open mind, go out for a few dates. Do not have sx, cause she might be obsessive type.

Just tell him or let him know your the jealouse type and don't want him to make any moves on the fiance. Also make sure your fiance knows to never be caught alone with he friend.

Yes, consider it part of the foundation of your marriage. Start it off with a positive experience. Also, after the honeymoon, protect your marriage for about a year. Don't pick up any new responsiblities and just focus on your love and intimantcy. NO in laws and such. just lots of love.