₦airaland Forum

Dagger111:
In 2016 she told me her salary was N35,000. And then two years later, when she got promoted, I asked about her salary and she said, “Oh these people, don’t mind them. They added only N8,000 to my old salary. Because of her meager salary, I’ve taken up so many responsibilities in the house without complaint. I pay for utilities and pay for food. I pay the fees of our two kids, clothe them, and take care of their medical bills. When my wife sends me a grocery list, she adds sanitary pads. She buys dresses and clothes, comes to show them to me, and asks me to pay for them. She started talking about a car when our second child came in. Things weren’t good on my side so I asked her to give me some time. She said, “I’ve saved something. I can add it to what you have so you pay me when your money comes.”

I agreed and took that money from her, topped it up to get her a car. For three months my ears never rest. She would wake up at dawn and ask me to pay what I owed her. I got tired and paid the money when I didn’t have much in my account.

One evening, I turned my laptop on and saw a lot of emails. I checked and it was my wife’s email that had been opened. I asked her, “Did you use my laptop?” She answered, “Yeah I was checking something.” I told her, “Then you didn’t log out.” She answered, “I forgot. Please log out for me.” I was about to log out when something caught my attention. I saw a mail with the subject, “January Payslip.” I opened and started going through. When I saw her gross salary, I was shocked. N654,734? And this girl has been crying poverty?

I went through the details. That night I couldn’t sleep. I was angry. I felt let down. I felt cheated. I felt played. We’ve been married for six good years and my wife earned that much without my knowledge? How much she earned didn’t bother me a lot than what she was using that money for. I decided not to talk immediately but rather do a little bit of investigation.

All my life I’ve held the view that it wasn’t right for anyone to go through their partner’s phone. It’s an invasion of privacy and it breeds mistrust in the relationship but that night, going through her phone was the only way to find out what I was looking for. I started with her best friend. Nothing much was found. Her family had a Whatsapp group. I read the messages there. I got few hints. I went through the chat with her father and that was when I realized my wife had bought a piece of land and had started building. Her father was in charge of the project. He had sent photos of the various stages of the building. At some point, her father said, “Thank you for helping out your brother. He would have been home had it not been you.”

She has only one brother—her senior brother. I went to look for the chat between them. Her senior brother lost his job and was home doing nothing so my wife bought her Hyundai i10 to use for Uber. Every week, her brother rendered an account and they split the money. From all indications, my wife was doing well for herself while she plays poor so she could rely on my salary. Why would she do that? I thought I was being a supportive husband so my wife could be proud of the man she married. When we bought land, it was her name and my name that appeared on the land title. That car I bought for her with a loan from her bears her name. I didn’t mind. I believed what’s hers was also mine.

The next morning she realized I wasn’t looking well. I was boiling on the inside but looking for a good opportunity to start the conversation. When I calmed down a little, I asked her, “So why would you do that to me?” She asked, “What have I done?” I answered, “You bought land, you never told me. You started building on it, you never told me. When are you going to tell me?” She was shocked. She asked, “Who told you all that?” I said, “Your father did.” She stood quiet for a while. She asked, “Why would my father tell you all that? What were you people talking about” I said, “I don’t know. You can ask him.”

We left it there. Some minutes later she came to me with her phone: “My father wants to talk to you.” The phone was already on a loudspeaker. Her father was clearly angry. He asked, almost shouting, “You said I told you my daughter has a building? Where did I say that and when?”
I asked, “Is it not true that my wife has a building project going on that you’re supervising?” He asked me, “I told you that?” I asked him, “Is it true or not?” After the back and forth I told them, “I read your messages last night. I saw the pictures. I read the various budget you had sent to my wife. I read the confirmation of the money receipts that you sent her. You’re a man. Would you be happy if your wife does this to you?” He started fumbling. He started apologizing saying he thought I was aware.”

My wife stood there motionless, didn’t know what to say. When her father hung up, I told her everything I knew, from her salary to the car she bought for her brother. I said, “Yet, even your sanitary pad, I buy them. You think I’m a fool? You’ll use your money to acquire your own properties and live on mine because you’re my wife? I hear. We’ll see.”

Trust was lost. Love was broken. We had to find a new way of living our lives going forward. Her father called me every morning and evening apologizing for everything and sometimes taking up the blame so I didn’t have to blame his daughter. I told him, “The emotional state I’m in right now, it would be hard to think straight or think forgiveness. Just give me space.” Three days later, they were in our house. The father, the mother, and the senior brother. They came to apologize. “Don’t let this break up the beautiful marriage you both have. If nothing at all, consider the kids and be lenient in your judgment.”

I listened to them. My position was still the same. “I need time to clear my mind. Just leave me alone to think.” From last month to this moment that I’m writing this, my wife had changed totally. She doesn’t ask for money but the house is being run smoothly. She has started paying for things she never paid for but that doesn’t move me. She has taught me a very great lesson and I’m taking it seriously. That in everything, I have to look out for myself and my family first. Lastly she told me, “If you want us to change the names on those properties, we can do so.” Guess whose name is on the property…her father’s name.”

I told her, “You don’t need to change anything. They are yours. You suffered for them so you can decide what you want to do with them.” The land I bought has our names. I’m selling it and take my money back. The car she’s driving has her name. I put a for-sale sticker on it some weeks ago. She agreed she’ll pay for the car. I’ve given her two months to pay up or I sell it and take my money.
She’s getting the message and I’m glad. Each one for himself, God for us all.
She keeps asking if I’m going to leave her. I keep telling her I won’t but if she wants a separation for a period, I will gladly give her. I’m not going to leave the marriage. I would give us some time to heal and see what may happen but when it comes to money, I’ve taken the lesson she taught me through her actions.

What will you do if you are in my position and feeling deeply hurt??

No need asking people what they thought.

I like a man of action. I love that you have shown her you won't take her deceit lying low and you have made steps to sell off some stuffs. She thought she had you but you showed you are a man. She was sorry because you caught her, not because she is really sorry.

Whatever you decide to do moving forward, I support you. She really messed up though

SpatialKing:
We are not interested in your Lagos bro...

I'm from imo state

I'm currently pursuing a fully funded PhD Statistics degree here in the US
We are just 3 Africans in my department

Lmaooo..and you think you are the only state with students in Top US schools?

God!!! You guys chestbeat too much. Just calm down.

Goodday90:
Some people always say that Ekiti is the most Educated state and they have no evidence to back that up,just the bogus claim that every home in Ekiti has a Professor which has not been proven by any data

Boss....the people of that state read a lot. Not that other states are not catching up sha

Holluwhakemmy:
Yes of course

Lol, yinmu...

Oya go away...enough chit chat!!!

Animegirl:
Sometimes Nigerian Men scare the hell out of me. They say "when a child is good it is the father, but once the child is bad the mother takes all the insult" you men are quick to insult women but you forget the roles you played while raising your kids.

Sir, with all due respect you're unintelligent. How does getting married to a bad woman relates with what the son said? That he condemned his father coming out to the public saying issues which are meant to be in private.

Go and sit down jor...see her mouth

Holluwhakemmy:
No food for you today for claiming UK as your dream land

So if I claim US or Canada, I go get pounded yam and egusi soup?

Holluwhakemmy:
That's your dream land go there no argument

Go to the kitchen and cook for me. Loudmouth

Twoclans:
Naso.

2clans!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Where you been? Compliments anyways!!

Holluwhakemmy:
If UK is your dream land so shall it be for you

Kemi, if you quote me again....I go show you pepper!!!

Ajegunle chicken. Someone wey never travel abroad before dey get preference.

ukaface:
All these Nigerians in UK can’t believe they finally went to a developed country so most times they are overwhelmed and can’t contain some things that ought to hide their stupidity, they just open mouth and talk about everything. Some stupid set of nincompoop. WTF

The annoying is on TikTok
Gosh! NIGERIANS IN UK SHUT UP NAAAAAAA. Hiaaa
Na only Una

Thank you. Something we both agree on.

Holluwhakemmy:
I preferred USA or Canada. UK is like Lagos to me

Have you been to the airport before?

See her mouth like UK!!! Iffa wooze you

iwaeda:
The mind is a dangerous thing to over look. It is better you give yourself space to iron things out. Nevertheless, trust her for the honesty to tell you the truth, from her body manner, she didn't enjoy the affair in camp. But if you will always revert to this any time you quarrel, LET HER GO please. Forgive and forget, if you truly want to marry her.

She didn't enjoy the affair bawo?

Una simps dey fall my hand. Have you ever seen any woman that confessed to enjoying her affair after being caught?

payaseriy:
Nor go reason those big grama advise o

Okpo na Okpo. For that gal to yarn u that small one, na be say she don over do many tinz wey u nor know.

Imagine how the small boy take Carry her two legs up and dig her leg. Imagine how she take dey scream "baby fuk me harder". And he nor go even spend dime sef... everybody dey chop her free of charge bt na u be the emekpa wey go put her for house

God Forbid

Kai...you are wicked!!! I'm already feeling sad for OP. Shey na person gf dem dig mercilessly like this?

Stevenbright:
She did something wrong and she is trying to put the blame on you. Why didn't she called you to hear from you instead of making assumptions. Like she said, she has moved on and it is left for you to do the best thing for yourself too.

I can assure you that what she did over there is far worse than what she spilled. So, get ready for more wrongs and the blames put on you as the relationship continues.

Now this is the comment I'm looking for. Nice take.

Romanoff:
You didn't tell her you were going through personal challenges and will need some space to sort things put, you just ghosted her. Stop ghosting people, learn to communicate. She probably just assumed herself unattached after you ghosted her and with young girls these days, it's normal.

How do you people say someone is Godly just cause they look a certain way? You'll keep falling for wolves in sheep's clothing if you keep doing this. The bible says "by their fruits, you will know them". Meaning by their actions and behaviour, you will know if they are Godly or not. By your own fruits, are you Godly, by her own fruits, is she Godly? Can two work together unless they agree? Amos 3:3. If you're not Godly, you have no business looking for a Godly woman. If you're still a fornicator, looks like you're on the right path.

Sit down jor. Because he didn't call her for a while, she come cheat? Just 3 weeks camp oh. Kai, women never cease to amaze me. Olodho dey her blood and I can swear that she was chopped throughout service. OP must not continue biko.

UnfairLife7:
if you're completely faithful with her throughout the period of dating and courtship then you can let go if you wish. However, if you've ever cheated in one way or the other without her notice then you have to overlook and go ahead with the marital plan

SIMP!!!

letstalksense:
There is this lady I plan to marry, which I have made known to her already even before she travelled for her NYSC. Although she just came back from NYSC service recently. We are just discussing the way forward and on the process I was asking her about her sexual life and how recently she had sex. After insisting for her to answer. She opened up and told me she had a sexual relationship during her NYSC service. And the reason was because I didn't call her at a particular time so she thought I have find anther woman. And that was when I was having some personal challenges. According to her, they ended the sexual relationship in the camp. That she is sorry and all that. I didn't really expect that attitude from her as she seem to look responsible and Godlily. I was just disappointed even though I pretended like everything is well. And I was also thinking she had the courage to tell me the true.

Now I have to make my decision, but needs a matured advise and guidance from a mature mind please.

Do think I should continue my marriage plan with her?

Pease what do you advise I do?

Thanks in advance.

You'd be a mumu to believe the relationship ended for camp. She was voraciously chopped throughout the NYSC year. Any woman who confesses cheating MUST NEVER BE FORGIVEN.

Or she go give you a bastard!!!

godwon01:
Who are you to query what I was saying. I have lived in the country for more than 20yrs and I know how things turned around for several immigrants here. Some rejected asylum seekers get accepted into the system after loosing hope. This one has not get to that level. Go on your way please.

Daddy wa. No vex oh. Any Xmas gift for me?

Therock5555:
IMO the OPs approach was still childish.


Lemme share a little experience of mine.

I always have one strategy, almost every chick I've banged(except those I wanna hit only once and run)

I go all out on them, I take my time to figure out their bodies and give them a mind blowing sex, sex is all about communication, as long as you know what a lady wants, borehole pussy or not, they'll still cum.(hope you know not all Lesbian sex involve dildos?)



After that first sex, they're entrapped and then I go back to my one minute mode(I literally)😁😁

I still give them normal dose of orgasm but I don't put in much effort cause I already know their mumu buttons so most times they do the most work themselves if they want extra cums😁😁😁



I once had an FWB that peppered me before finally submitting pussy, she actually raped me(long story).

Two days later, I was working my play station up and she came in drunk and Hot, I passed on the opportunity and she went to bed, around midnight, I carry my cruise and konji follow her enter bed.

Babe wore only singlet, I shift am one side begin suck breast.

She woke up very angry, begin dey para for me say make I no dey touch her when she don sleep, say na lack of consent. I just laugh.


She say make I grab CD come straff since she's already up. I no reason am too much, I rush grab CD, strap on, begin finger her.


Next thing, babe said the way I was fingering her was degrading, that she didn't like it.

I didn't even say a word, I just stood up, removed CD, go flush up and came back to bed, turn sleep in peace.


By morning, she was touching me, I clear her say my erection dey expensive so I no fit dey waste am, so if she's ready, she knows what to do.


Naso this babe stand up go grab CD, undressed me, aroused me and ride me from beginning to end.



Was my pride hurt late in the night? Yes.


But from that day on, na different types of cowgirl she dey do with me, she always paid the price for trying me.





Sorry for the shalaying but as a chieftain of the red pill movement, you're supposed to correct a brother when he bleeps up, that's how he learns and not enhancing his pride.

I get your story but I still support OP. That girl had made up her mind to disgrace him and because the redpill is amoral, why should he let one borehole pussy girl wreck him? The girl blatantly disrespected him and said she would cheat if she married him. That's the lowest of the low. He fought back by gathering evidence so she could know he wasn't lame in bed. That got to her and she flew off the handle. In my experience , anytime a girl loses her shiit like that, it means you got to her. She hurt his pride, he hurts hers.

Was it what I would do? Probably not. But I support his delivery. That girl subconsciously would respect him, even when they are not dating anymore. Who better validates a man's prowess than a woman.

Goodlyhrt:
I have seriously and bitterly complained about my poverty state here and how I have lost all appetite to live this life.

I have been asking anybody and everybody who cared to listen for help so that I can at least stand like a man beside I went home this Christmas to see my ailing mom.

I never knew she was suffering from a stroke. Apparently, my dad and the others couldn't tell me the full gist knowing the kind of person I am.

I was so heartbroken when I met her for the first time in 5 years since I left for Lagos in search of greener pastures. I felt useless a thousand times.. I was weak from sorrow for my mum, her form was not a good sight.

She tried to convince me that all would be well and that she was even getting better. Then gradually I dropped feeling so bad at least to not add to the issue.

I smiled after two days of staying to cheer her up she must have greatly missed her boy. But I am deeply saddened every day since returning non-stop.

Right now nothing is stopping me from joining my friend who is into Yahoo Yahoo. Safe the fact it will break her heart because she is a hardcore religious person.

But I can't stand seeing her this way.

Infact I had to liquidate my computer business to be able to make the trip to Aba. So right now I don't have much option.

And I don't know how long it will take me to be able to start all over again in a new town as I am worried things might get worse and I wouldn't do much to stop or prevent it.

I don't know what to do right now just please someone advice me.

The high population of scammers on this site made me skeptical about any sob story.

If there is proof, I might consider helping you. If not, I'm not helping anyone.

Naijagram:
Seeking your thoughts, everyone!!!

I work as a salaried individual and earn around 400k monthly.

However, my girlfriend constantly asks for money. I give her almost 100k every month and she feels it's not enough for her. She's even voiced discontent, suggesting I only send her money when she explicitly requests it.

I'm beginning to suspect her motives, as she seems solely focused on my income.

She never suggests saving or helps in cutting costs; her primary interest lies in spending everything.
Despite my genuine love for her, I can't keep up with her demands. I had hopes for our future together, but it seems unlikely now.

I'm considering a breakup as a solution.

Has anyone navigated a similar situation?

SIMP
SIMPDERMORT

N.B: Rubbish lying OP.

Thastie:
I actually wanted to put context to the “concerns” but like my husband had told me before we were married “Never discuss our issues with family or friends, whatever we going through and we can’t resolve it between us then that means there’s no solution “


Not to talk of you a known nonentity on here. You lack insight plus intelligence. To just assume that things are black and white and put label on situations or just a version of what you read shows you do not understand how relationships or the world work.

I’m not interested in engaging you. You’re not worth it. Direct your preconceived anger towards women elsewhere

Bla blah blaahhh

I have already caught you. No need trying to shalaye. I pity your husband. Dude thought he was wanted and never knew he was an option. Sooner or later, you will divorce him with this attitude of yours.

godwon01:
You have got a better chance to live in the UK. Don't worry, God will take control. It might not be what you thought of her.

What is this one saying bayi?🙄

Thastie:
One of the failed students of Ubunja.
You have an anger addiction and you are not enlightened. What married folks do not have conversations time to time? What married people do not have ongoing issues or new ones that they need to talk about?
You don’t know the context of the conversation I had with MY OWN husband before and when I traveled so we won’t be among the statistics of people who got here and divorced and you’re here spewing nonsense.

Why’s that women start acting like they don’t need a man when they start earning


Well, I have always had money. I have never been in a relationship where I wasn’t earning more or equally. It’s not only men that make money in Naija, that narrative needs to stop

Exactly why I quoted you. You are high on your own octane. No woman who married her husband with love will ever need to 'seriously talk with my husband before bringing him to the UK' it shows your pride and ego, telling us you brought him ON YOUR OWN TERMS and even after being in the UK, you still are having issues. Shioor.

Exactly why I also posted my story of the nurse. You are both sisters!!

Juliearth:
It doesn't take two wrongs to make a right. You didn't have to contact your former rendezvous to proof a point. I see that as childish, but I guess her comment bruised your ego and you reached out to them to get it back. To make matters worse, you traded words with the love of your life?


It seems sex is a big deal to her and if you two are not sexually compatible, cease and desist!

What should he trade with the love of his life, chicken or bitcoin?

Women dey fall my hand sha. What mumu advice is this biko?

Usmanovic95:
You Bleep up by sending those exes and hookup girl replies to her.You don't need to do that for any reason. You still went on to hurl and exchange insult with a woman, brother why!

Effective communication is key in relationships even when it comes to sexual aspect. If you don't communicate with her,you won't know about her sexual cravings and fantasies.A girl once told me she enjoys rough and aggressive sex,so any guy who meet with such a girl and wasn't aggressive won't get her satisfied no matter the size of the guy down town or the kind of energy he exert.

So if you claim you love her,get back to her and apologize and ask her about her sexual fantasies.Ask and don't just assume that you are doing the right thing because of the validation you got from the women you have encountered in the past,it's different strokes for different folks.

See you... You think women are some saints not to hurt? Dey play. I still say it that even though what he did may seem immature, I still like his response. Make that girl know say he sabi satisfy woman

richiemcgold:
I'll just chip in one piece of advice:

When you have issues with a woman and you don't know how to go about it, don't ever and ever seek advice from her fellow woman. E get why.

You may be right but in this case, I love his response.

MackIV:
Thanks!!!
Prior to this, I have blocked her everywhere. I'm trying to move on. I just need a Reality check.
Thanks. I'd have been busy, but my company is on holidays and i added my off time to the holidays. I don't really have who talk with. I'm a closeted person.

Go to the redpill thread and learn more

oyewale0001:
Firstly, I will start by asking who are your male friends? Don't you have responsible male friends that can advise you.
Secondly: because of woman, you went to another women which were your ex for verification sake and sent there reply to your woman. From one woman to another women. And you say you brain should not scatter. You sure say your brain still dey work. Look at the way you are messing yourself up among female gender. Your real problem is that you don't understand woman. You don't know our to relate with female gender deep down and that is why they are messing with you real big. Guys don't you have male friends? Wow.
Forget about the sexual part, you are not good in relating to females in general. Bro, female don't deserve too much attention and they still need it. If you give it to her to much, you will be use and if you don't give her, you will still be use. As a guy dealing with female, you must be ontop of your game two four seven. You "f" off big time. My advice for you is that you should just move on because remaining with that lady will be forever regret in your life. Because you and the lady sexual life is destroyed already.

Abeg, keep quiet. I liked how he handled it. She wanted to diickshame him and he refused. We already know the two are not compatible so why waste time?

Therock5555:
I can't waste my end of year advice untop this thread, I'll pass.


And op, you're still a child mentally.


Babe told you she ain't feeling you, you begin seek validation from exes and hook up partners then forwarded the messages to her, like who the hell does that?


Anyway that relationship is otilo, just find another girl date in 2024

I like his approach. It's good for his ego and for the girl to know he had satisfied women in the past. She was very rude in her approach so I liked his response. Borehole pussy dey pain women wella!😉

MackIV:
Please Help,

Good day Nlers, honestly I don't know where to start from, but I'd be brief as possible.

There's this young girl I'm dating and intended getting married to, I have gone to see her parent to make my intentions known. She has met my family as well.

History of how we met and started dating. She's in her 20s, a student in a private Uni in the South
.We were introduced by a cousin-sister of mine. In which We saw/met in lagos briefly as her parents live in Ikeja, Lagos, while I live in Surulere. At the early stage, while I return from work, i would drive to her parents house, we chill and hangout, Before she went back to school.
We continued communication, chatted and all. Shared deep conversation, secrets etc. Introduced me to course mates all of them knew me. She couldn't do without, Talking or Video calling me daily. If my number is unreachable, she would call my cousin-sister to know my where abouts or complain 1 or toos. We'd settle, we were inseparable. My parents observed I was always on Video Calls and started smiling much, because I would be in their place to chill to avoid traffic, before I head to my house.

Now the Dilemma, she came back from school this Christmas. I went to visit her, took her on a date/outing. After that, we went to my place to drop some stuffs.
Then we had sex, we already know we were gonna have sex, as we were already gonna get married already. Yeah, the sex wasn't the bomb, I was tired from work and outing, but the 1st and 2nd rounds duration was atleast 40 mins total. She was wet and creaming. After a while, She pushed me off and said she's tired and mood has gone.
We were still all in love, i come over to her place, we hangout and chill. The days I'd be off work, I'd tell her to come. She would give one excuse or the other.

Then, recently she sent me a text in the morning,
She can't get married to me or else she would be having extra marital affairs.
Haaa, my head burst. What did I do? She said she wasn't feeling me! Eh??!!

Immediately, I chatted about 2 exs, 2 hookup girls and a girl I disvirgined.

The 2 exs and the virgin, we all had a bad break up. Because I wasn't in love with any of them, I just wanted to knack that's all. When I was only handsome no cash, girls no dey like me like that. With cash, the girls started loving me, I felt any girl that liked me was about money. So I treated them bad.
1 of the Ex, said that she (my gf) doesn't love me, if not she will feel me. That I can knack well, she dey cum steady, if I remember when she used to tell me.

2. The other ex told me, that my girl might be wide down there. That my dick is OK, she feels it when we knack.

3. The hookup Girl:- She just said, Me na Knackerdemus. I no allow am rest. Small money wey i pay am, I wan kill an with fvck and she orgasm twice, say she no fit forget me.

The Virgin: was still angry, no reply. I used about 9 days to deflower her. Wasted many ky jelly etc

I did the tissue roll test, my dick struggles to enter the hole, but it enter when I force it.

So I forwarded the replies to her.

She got angry and started insulting me, that I am an idiot, bla bla bla etc

Me too i lost my home training, called her Borehole pu,ssy, how a young girl go get a wide pus'sy, When did she start having se,x ? Abortions, Too much Blue films
I HAVE ALL THE SCREENSHOTS, but for privacy.

I really love her, but I'm trying to move on. Right now, my head has been messed up.

I need your inputs, opinions.
I have tried messaging Sir Dickson and Agba to get a wider reach and opinion.

Thanks

Move to front page

Cc

Hahahahaha


I won't insult you because it's festive period.

But that girl wasn't feeling you sexually. You were too gentle with her. Then, borehole pussy is always easy to recognize because you won't feel anything as a man.

I don talk am ...

UK people and Cho Cho Cho like goddamn parrots!!!

Just see her forehead and her wide mouth. Two features of a basketmouth.
Her mentality also sucks. You are working at Harrod's as a sales girl and you came online to Yell? What if you are the manager or something? If you dey work for Royal Dutch, Shell, Chevron nko? Will you die?

I don't know what's with women and attention. They will die if they don't get any. She hasn't learned her lesson obviously.