₦airaland Forum

ogmask:
Ameachi what about the coastal rail line from calabar to Lagos? All we hear is Abuja- kano, Lagos- ibadan, warri - itakpe....what about the brand new coastal rail you guys campaigned with in 2015?

Bros,

Calabar-PH-Onne Deep Sea Port is among the $22.9b borrowing plan. Isn't that a good start?

Faddd:
This is commendable, I think this government is serious

You think? Bros, this is the most serious govt.

Kingspin:
A country where people pray for NEPA to bring light.

You can go pretends but Nigeria cannot last under suffering and smiling.

Finding hope in the midst of no hope without action. Keep back moving.

Delusions Grandeur ..

If Nigerian had outlived your ancestors, is it you that was born yesterday that will now see.it go down? Meanwhile wrt NEPA, except you're lazy,.then you should have no problem getting mix of alternate electricity.

dontbothermuch:
That junk you are seeing there, believe me, it's really difficult to manufacture. The steering works, the gear works, the brake works, the junk moves. It is not an easy task oh! It's just sponsor.

The better way you can condemn this work is to explain why yours is yet to either exist or leave the garage

Jungleluv5:

HeavenlyBang: :
This piece of writing is nonsensical.

How is it Mercedes-powered? Because you want it to be?

Then you mention the AMG V12 Pagani uses? What does that have to do with this?

If the maker truly wanted a performance engine, he'd looking into Chevy's LS series. Small, tunable, cheap. Not a humongous V12 by Mercedes that likely costs over $30k.

Car journalism in Nigeria is a mess.

please show me your own production before condemning others

Bros,

Ignore "Magazine-Engineers" jare.....

uuzba:
The boy has work to do. He carried too much load on his head.
Car can either be engine& performance focused
and Design/body focused.
He didn't pass any of the two exam. The body has some issues and the engine has some issues as well.
If we take the car on all those oyibo stunt runs, powerglides and all that TopGear stuff, the performance will fail as well.

I advice that boy to just focus on one aspect first and get it right.
Do the body of the car very fine first.

Bros,

That is why it's called a "Prototype". The report even has it that commercial version is 2yrs away; why are you guys just ignorantly forming over-sabi

Flier:
He is probably lying,where did he get money to buy that engine
Any engine that can go from 0-120km in less than 5 seconds should cost a fortune

Unfortunately some of you think the limitations of your knowledge is the limit of knowledge.......

As far back as year 2000, a BMW 5Series (2000 model) a.k.a Coja that people drive on the streets hit that speed in 5secs. What is so special......

Automotive1:

MusaDanladi1: :
AutoJosh you be fool + very useless blogger how will you be comparing this pangolo with a whole Pagani Huayra that's how you went to compare Innoson with G63 the other time. You will never do research.Yes we have to give the young hardworking man his dues. He did a fantastic job but your write up just reeks of trash.

Why the insults?

Try to read and understand...

Nobody is comparing "Benni Purrie" to an established Pagani...

We only want you to know that sourcing for a more powerful engine, just like how Pagani and Aston Martin used Mercedes engine, will make the lovely car one of the best.

Why are you explaining what his comprehension deficit could not pick a first time. You sure he will a second?

HeavenlyBang:
This piece of writing is nonsensical.

How is it Mercedes-powered? Because you want it to be?

Then you mention the AMG V12 Pagani uses? What does that have to do with this?

If the maker truly wanted a performance engine, he'd looking into Chevy's LS series. Small, tunable, cheap. Not a humongous V12 by Mercedes that likely costs over $30k.

Car journalism in Nigeria is a mess.

As neutral person, I do not see any expert-analysis in your condemnation of his use of "Mercedes-powered" engine, rather than some ol' reash of "this is better than that". You recommended an alternative that you called "performance engine" yet the characteristics quoted is "small, tunable and cheap", no mention of its performance characteristics itself.... Not sure if someone looking for performance engines will be cheap-conscious for starters.

Yet you yab car journalism?

madridguy:
She went into our room and locked the door , she was in there for a long time and the next morning , her mother and older brother was at the house and she came out of the room with her and our baby stuff and she said she was leaving me for good. I told her how sorry I was but her mother told me to get out of their faces and they left the house.

Bros, this may sound somehow but you never get wife.

I'm even wondering if the whole thing is not a script...

xtremeTall:
Hello!!,please kindly spare your 1 minutes and advise me because i think ive been following the wrong path for 5 years...

I completed my secondary School Education in 2014 and since then I've been Applying for the Nigeria Armed forces recruitments,i had wrote their Aptitude Test Exams like 8 to 9 times before i eventually passed the Airforce Exams for 2017.

i went for their Physical screening in Kaduna,we undergo staunch health Screening."Thier medical facilities there are Top notch o"..anyway,i was disqualified for ill health reason,(i have a short sightedness),with tears in my eye i inform my Dad who had been very supportive the news.


To cut my story short,i had been doing some work i don't really like since i gave up Career in the Nigeria Armed force.I am determined to go back to the university and study Law,,i know my parents would be glad to know i had came up with this idea but I'm thinking at 23?..IS IT POSSIBLE..i need your advise pls


Mods pls help

Get to it quickly. Imagine your life as a lawyer and the beauty that comes with the fact that you achieved your life dreams. Imagine yourself in 10yrs time if you don't take this step and the regret you will feel for not taking the steps

Kingspin:
Travel or no travel. Saying the truth shall set one free. Nigeria is ugly

So how do you rationalize your plight, condemned to a place you deem ugly? As for me, I am having a country I am prouder of and happier to contribute in building.

2special:
Why not you guys hear from the other party before condemning him... My advice is for you to file for a divorce if you're legally marry to him.... See a lawyer.

In fact her narrative leaves a lot of missing pieces, that I doubt this is just a case of abuse alone. All I read here a bits and pieces, disjointed stories and many at times as if you both have been in unnecessary competition with each other.

This write up also smacks attempts at self justification for an intended illegality. You cannot run away with the kids and stay incommunicado. He will get a judgment against you, you will be found within a week and you will loose the custody of your children.

If you're no more interested, just say so, file for divorce and get it properly

Kingspin:
Picture or no picture. The Nigerian destination is ugly. It reflects on the citizen. Stay-put.

You remind of those "egbons" that kept dreaming dreaming of "travelling out"....till they turn 50.....

Kingspin:
Staying without hope is better option

Send me pictures when you get to your destination

Kingspin:
Stop living a false hope country. Can't you see and feel this is not real?

Is it your hope ?

Ryan03:
lol, nothing to forgive bro, she was the first wife. He didn't even marry the others, they were all concubines but we refer to them as wives out of respect.

Then your Dad is what the Yorubas call "Baba Gbogbo aye" - "Father of Nations". That scenario, I can only empathize with your mum, as one can imagine what she had to bear........

Joekisses:
I had taken my time to go through the view of each and everyone one of you about this thread, each persons view is totally plausible but, if only all these opinions could be merged as one then we all would live a better life. The truth is I took interest in this thread and it's the first ever am to reply to since I became a nairalander why? Because am 30+ now and reading yet I just made peace with my dad about two months ago because my mum always made sure I avoided him, even while she prayed for me most times all she ever wanted was a promise that I never entertain anything from my dads side.my dad was given the option the chose between getting married or going to school, he chose school, then he and my mum were both secondarians when he got mum pregnant. My mum has suffered a lot and dropped out of school as a result. As a result, just last month my mum threatened to disown me when she found out I had been communicating with dad n family, I also got to realise that she had sworn that it won't never be well with him until he comes to plead with her and from the look of it all's not well with him. To cut it short, after her threat to me I summoned the courage to tell her that even if he is a mad man he remains my dad, one thing I promised her is he definitely would come to beg her forgiveness and then she remained mute since then and we are cool now. It's up to me to fix my dad and mum up now. My dad had is options and a young lad and made a choice that am sure almost every young man would make same and my mum felt betrayed and has suffered as a result of my pregnancy but, with God and a determined son this two could be settled someday. Point to take my dad has nothing to offer me financially but, where am from, your originality could affect you a long way, so I need that name.

My guess, Your mum is still in love with your Dad. She's just very angry..........

PHIPEX:
@ All these women badmouthing the OP's decision. None of you have bothered to ask the OP how his mother felt by his decision to forgive, you all are herding in gender solidarity. What has the OP gained all these years they were enemies?

@OP, you alone knew the burden you carried all these years, nothing beats forgiveness and peace. Forgiving your father does not imply taking sides with him against your mother. Your mother has played a role in your life and deserves all her due, your father has been assent and equally deserves to be heard and forgiven. Make him a prodigal father and God will bless your hustle.

You better don't vent too much about this immature and thoughtless little girls.

midnighter:
I am not trying to trivialise or dismiss the pain of mothers but the truth is that at times, they complain too much to the child and put them in the middle of things when that child doesnt even understand how the quarrel started.

Its not the child's fault that you are unhappy in your marriage; its not fair to keep lamenting and saddling them with unnecessary emotional baggage.

If you need somebody to confide in, to talk an adult who can properly console and advise you and dont keep dumping your emotions on your child

Your mother had a right to feel upset BUT shouldnt have put her tears on your shoulders; it just ended up pushing you away at the end

Its not a good behaviour at all; people should find the proper channels to field their emotions and not use their children... children are fragile to emotional stressors already without you adding your own

Madam,

I always salute when I find submissions from Emotionally Intelligent women. (No chauvinism intended)

Belafonte:
So, IceColdVeins, did you have the talk with your dad about why things ended the way they did and why he took the decision he did?

.....and what will that achieve or change in the grand scheme of things? What will be the objective of that? Freshen old wounds?

Cyberleets:
Mad people everywhere....most especially the ladies here.
Fish brains

It's a good thing op reconciled with his father...
You'll never realise how difficult it is to be a father unless you become one!!

My own father neglected me(not at my child hood)... He said some bad stuff to me... I decided to abandon him for life and probably change my surname sef.

I wanted him to apologize but mum will always tell me there's no way on earth my father will apologize to me cos it's not right. She wanted me to call him and probably apologize myself, I was adamant.

Long story short, dad finally called... Funny enough he called to tell me he has forgiven me...(not apology)

We met and we settled things...it feels good really!!

We all know it's hard for a man to hate his fellow man... We men are not wired that way unlike women that nag about everything. Look how they are nagging cos a guy wants to make peace with his dad.

Just like me I think the issue with the op and his father is personal...

Bros,

that his African Father's ways of apologizing..

edydeyemi:
OP Nice of you to reconcile with your dad. My father absconded when I was just nine years old and was absent for well over 19 years. My mum had to work her fingers to the bone raising four young boys; we literally lived from hand-to-mouth. Sadly she passed before she could reap the fruits of her labour.

True, I know my mother could be headstrong and impossible to get along with, but that in no way justifies my father for abandoning us for 19years. Well he came back begging a couple of years ago and I forgave him but that is where it ended. He lost all rights to a father-son relationship years ago.

Would I have forgiven him were mother still alive? Certainly not without her forgiving first; I owe her that that much. There was a time he tried flexing and claiming rights, I blocked him out completely. Now he has realised that I do not owe him a thing (well maybe a little for sending us to one of best primary schools in Ejigbo then) and stays in his lane while I say in mine. I call him once every couple of months and that's where it ends; He doesn't know where I live, he has seen my son only once and knows not to call me unnecessarily.

One thing I have learnt though is to Never be the man my father was. Once again, OP I salute your courage for trying to reconcile with him but never-ever let your mother feel betrayed considering all she sacrificed for you guys.

Cheers.

I respect you position....

My take....
You are yet to Forgive him

Ryan03:
lol, you even had a dad that provided for the family, your own good. My dad never contributed anything, I grew up to know he always tell us to go and meet our mum when ever we ask for anything even to our school fees. He was a womanizer (six wives), had fourteen children (he didn't cater for any of them). When I was 8, mum got fed up ( due to continuous beatings that sometimes lands her in the hospital) and moved out with us. He never looked for us till I was in js2. He tried forming a bond with us but wasn't successful because he was staying in another town. He died just before I could resume js3. How exactly do I forgive? Where do I start from? I try to act like it doesn't matter, peharps my mum did a good job, hustled for me and my sisters to the point where we are today but I know how difficult it was, I know how we go somedays without food, how we a were sent away from school because of books or exam fees, how we do trek long distance because we dont have t.fair and we couldn't afford a house in town hence we stayed in villages without schools, how we sometimes dont eat rice on Christmas day, how we dont usually wear Christmas clothes, how we depend on others to outgrown their clothes so we could have them. I try to forget those stuffs cause now we live more comfortably thank God mummy did her best to educate us so we could have jobs, I just can't lie to myself that I have forgiven him. It hurts, still hurts badly cc Luminouz

Bros,

You case is even more complex and required a higher level of understanding. Let me cite an example (at the risk of you hating me for this.....); Your mum is wife number what? Anything aside from the first wife, logic tells me women should know the risky terrain a polygamous home is. Conventional wisdom tells us that in most cases, it is the wives in Polygamous homes that get to raise their children. As the number of wives increase, the input from the man reduces, except his wealth is that stupendous.......

Zukky123:
I really commend your efforts to reconcile with your dad, it takes great courage and serious ego-breaking to that. Don't listen to anything anyone would say on this platform, cos I'm sure you are an adult and have taken time to put many things into consideration having thought this through. This is a bold step, I just hope that your mum would also benefit from this reconciliation and hope your dad does not relapse again, cos it would become another cycle or even worse when you interfere in their matters again. Just know this means you cannot meddle in the affairs of ur family hence forth as you've sold the rights to do so, unless you want to keep sucking up to him.

Me myself I'm a victim of this paternal negligence.
Since 2018 marchl haven't been able to talk to my dad simply because I tried to make peace between him and my mum when they had their usual rift. I tried so hard no to pick sides, I tried so hard not to be rude, I tried so hard not to challenge my dad,, but yet we have become strangers only because I said ""daddy please it hasn't gotten to the level of using curse words".
Because I want peace I've tried severally to apologise and reconcile with him but to no avail. I call, he doesn't take my calls, I text but still no positive response. Even when I got paid my first salary during my housemanship I went with his favourite wine, and again before my service, I went with another wine and he kicked me out, the second time leaving me in front of his officce and driving off at night. Few days back I turned 26 and messaged him, but still no response. I know some people would say certain nasty things, I just need sensible advice regarding this matter because I don't know what to do again. And I want peace and also don't want to sell my rights to resolving family conflicts as I'm the first child and son.

I suggest you get to him through the following
1. Feverent prayers
2. Your Pastor/Reverend or Imam
3. His favourite family member or elder (his favorite sibling, female)

It may take a long while, but patiently stay the course. Avoid physical contacts for now until his heart softens. Send him text messages on birthdays and at distant intervals. Let him know you're praying for him.......

luminouz:
I feel your points.
The scenario you described happens more than often. I had to be very logical too while young or I would have resented my dad. I opened my eyes,saw things from his perspectives and knew that man would sell his soul to make his children prosper. He proved it to us all. Financial downturns sometimes make women very unruly at home and I understood that too. They are still together and waxing strong and I have learnt a valuable lesson.

Leave Bratislava alone. Dude or chick is running on emotional fumes and I totally get that.

Unfortunately this is what children of nowadays are yet to learn. Parents love each other both in strength and weaknesses. My fear for my own aged parents (Dad 84, Mum 79) with the way they "carry-each-other" even at old age is that if either one "caputs" today, expect the other to follow the next..

prizlezzlalasky:
Every one is entitled to their opinion,

That being said, we can't judge the father cause we ve not heard his side of the story......... Marriage is a misterious institution hence we should just concern ourselves with how the offsprings from the union will experience the love of a father and also unite their parents again.

But some people have started constructing the father's story na!

TheArchangel: :

This guy was single handedly raised by his mother while his father was wallowing in wealth. ....

greatme2good:
Op If your father was wretched and poor, would you have run back to him like a lost puppy?

TheArchangel:
This guy was single handedly raised by his mother while his father was wallowing in wealth. Now he is demonising his mother for the neglect he suffered from his father. I don't get it.

Most Nigerian women will most certainly prefer to cry in Benz than to wallow in poverty but your mother choose the safe option for her sanity and kid's sake. If you want to make peace with your father, kindly go ahead but do not belittle the sufferings of your mother to appease your conscience.


Imagine after the marital abandonment, I risked being demonised by the kids I suffered for

I hate abortion but this thread is making me to lean towards pro-choice.
Ladies beware . If you have had the babies already, start keeping tabs, school fees receipts, messages sent to him for assistances, your child's memorable moments on videos, the time he was contacted for his helps and the excuses he gave. Whether justifiable or not, put it down somewhere.
Keep a ledger of the financial helps you received from him.
Let your evidence fight for you before they use your sufferings to demonize you.

Chai! See how you added "spice" and ended up saying what he never said nor alluded to.....

IceColdVeins:
MODIFIED
Dont be quick to judge.
I am the only one at loggerheads with my dad, my other siblings are not. And I never demonised my mom, I love her and I have showered my care on her. I'm just trying to make peace within myself and make the family balanced. MY mom and dad are still together and happier than before. But the wounds dont ever heal.
Not that bro. I will always be on the side of every loyal woman and will treat them with love as well.
But I have now come to terms with the fact that no one is perfect, especially when it comes to marriage. During my childhood, I never saw things from the perspective OF my dad, we only kept on listening to mom's wailings(she suffered truthfully) but we never get to hear his own side of the story cos
a man never shows emotions. My reconcilation with dad is not a pat on his head for his wrongdoings but a move to make peace within myself.
You'll understand when you have a disagreement with your wife and your own children start taking sides.
I'm just trying to retrace my steps and lay a good foundation for my unborn children.

BRATISLAVA: :
When will he apologize to your mum? Or have you forgotten that part? You've forgotten why you didn't care about him? Another bro code moment. Maybe you've found yourself maltreating women, too, so now it's okay.

There is a conventional wisdom that in couple's fight, children will only understand the dimensions later in life. @Bratislava, I assume you're yet to reach that level of maturity. Let's put all assumptions of yours (not the IceColdVeins') into it, what had "playing the victim" achieved over the years? IceColdVeins' message is about reconciliation and peace. It's what we all need to find. The world will be a better place if we learn to "loose" on our egos and self-centeredness and "win" together.

A friend once advanced a position when we were growing up, that if parents fight, children should not take sides but rather seek to reconcile or get the best of amicable settlement out of the situation. The danger of taking sides could be that one parent is playing you against the other. Let me share a little story. An old senior colleague vowed that his sons will never have any contact with his wife. His wife had organized with some police women to arrest him and they paid thugs in cell who beat him to pulp in retaliation for his beating of his wife in a fight. Meanwhile, in my humble opinion, the wife is a kolo woman and I wondered how he encountered that accident of a woman. In connivance with these police women, they dealt with the man, it took the intervention of another colleague who's uncle is an assistant police commissioner to secure his release over a weekend. This man checked himself into an hospital as soon as he got out and was there for about a day.

He vowed that he was going to severe relationship with the woman, and the woman woll have nothing to do with the children. He even went as far as sending these boys to the US. Guess what? these boys still covertly gets to talk to their mum. The mother got through to a neighbour and the boys took calls in the neighbours house on the pretense they are going to play in the neighbour's house. This happend for a 7year period and the father does not know till date. The 2 boys are in the Uni in US. I would imagine they still communicate with their mother, much more send her stuffs. These boys are far gone in their studies and I doubt their father can do anything about it if he ever finds out.

SpyAC:

seankafor: :
madam, here is not where you pour your menstrual excretes and frustrations.
Kindly go to your family WhatsApp group and pour it there.. thank you

GOD BLESS NIGERIA cool(proudly and forever Nigerian)

ur a big fool for insulting that woman, sorry for whoever that bored u . Anu mpam.

xcuzzzz me!, is this latin?

classicpeezy:
At least Nigeria is now showing decisiveness... Enough of a womanish government. Any country that tries to play smart or stubborn should be shown it's place.

I flew BA last month after about 5years. I had abandoned the airline because of the harsh treatment to mete out to Nigerians especially on their economy class. Back then when you fly BA to the US, when you change planes at Heathrow, you will think you are moving from "Molue" to "Luxurious Bus". At wifey's insistence and after a horrible experience with another crap airline (Air Italy), I had to do BA. I was pleasantly surprised that they have upped the game for the Lagos-London route.

If we begin to share stories of shitty treatment Nigerians get on some of these Airlines, you will be shocked what people go through.

Kingspin:
You guys will always like to settlement for "GOD BLESS NIGERIA" whereas when you into Nigeria you see an empty and shapeless country

Then leave