₦airaland Forum

How about we play a game..
Find your birthday month, day and
year and form a sentence...
Jan : I need
Feb : I killed
Mar : I slept with
Apr : I raped
May : I slapped
Jun : I hugged
Jul : I played with
Aug : I jumped on
Sep : I got drunk with
Oct : I spit on
Nov : I kissed
Dec : I love
SELECT A DAY
01- Someone
02- a donkey
03- a monkey
04- a baboon
05- an elephant
06- my cousin
07- my girlfriend/boyfriend
08- Ronaldo
09- Nicky Minaj
10- a clown
11- a drunkard
12- a virgin
13- a hobo
14- a genius
15- a gorilla
16- Chris Brown
17- a pig
18- a model
19- my pet
20- my dog
21- my first love
22- my ex
23- an old man
24- a dinosaur
25- Kim Kardashian
26- a prostitute
27- the lecturer
28- my best friend
29- a cat
30- an old friend
31- an idiot
Select the year of birth...
1980- in a bar
1981- in a car park
1982- in a dirty pond
1983- in an ocean
1984- in a police van
1985- in a garage
1986- in a forest
1987- in a swimming pool
1988- in a toilet
1989- in a garden
1990- in a hotel room
1991- in a bus
1992- in a taxi
1993- on my bed
1994- in the river
1995- in our room
1996- on the playground
1997 with out my pants
1998 on the house roof
1999 with my eyes open
2000 but I'm lying...

corperscorner:

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?

IJEBUS CALL IT OGON!

SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

' See that aeroplane going! My dad is the pilot' I remember that to be one of my fables I gave friends in High School. As you all know, a school is a gathering of humans with different characters and attitudes. You get to meet some extra ordinary jovial people and some crazily weirdos you would wonder if they were humans.


And for the fact that there are a lot of people claiming they are rich in their family, you wouldn't want to be caught off guard. You also want to belong and claim your family owns Computer Village, even.

I had an imaginary uncle then in London that brought stuffs for me, I always told my friends. My uncle travelled every week to London. And when he came back, he made sure he came with a different car and a lot of goodies.

I once told my friends my uncle brought a Chewing Gum that never loses its taste. You will chew and chew and it continues to get sweetened the more it stays in your mouth. I was telling Samuel the other day on how I chewed the gum for 3days and later spat it out. He asked why I did that, since it doesn't lose its taste. I knew I had been caught off guard. But I still tried to cover up telling him I wanted to try the Macaroni flavour.

I claimed my younger ones were given birth to in the States, Tulsa, Oklahoma to be precise. I wasn't there at their birth, but I once went with my dad to celebrate my younger brothers birthday, when he was 3. We decided not to go by Flight. We took a speed boat instead and we spent 3 days on Sea.

Told them there were so many bus tops on the sea and what they basically sold are fishes. That there was a fish that looked like a Lion, people of that locality called it Fishion. I told them we saw Mermaids when we got to the American Sea. And they were waving at us. That mermaids are friendly beings and not evil.

Mind you, it wasn't me alone that did this. A guy came to join us then in SS2 . Abiola would tell us he spent his summers in Chicago, Michael Jordan was his next door neighbour. They practiced basketball together everymorning and immediately after practice, they always had enough to eat. We all believed anyway as this guy looked American.

I remember Toke, a girl like that. They had almost everything you mentioned that you have in your family, even the latest. There was a time a certain girl's parents bought a Mercedes Benz 200. Toke said her dad had 3 Mercedes Benz 2000 and it didn't run on petrol, but Olive Oil and it could recognize all of them in the family. Anytime they entered into the car, The car would mention their name and welcome them.

Ramon was someone we all believed his fables should have been noticed by the Military as this guy could make you believe anything. His lies were not on 4G Networks self, they run on Optical Fibers. Ramon once told us his Dad Rode on Bicycle to Saudi Arabia. and when we asked him how he crossed the sea, he said the bicycle was a special one and it could fly.

I also remember him telling us they had a tree in the compound that bore different fruits. That his dad was presented with that by a Djin in the desert, while he was travelling.

Dimeji made us to under that his dad fought in the World War 1. He fought along side the Germans and was decorated with so much Awards for his gallantry. That after World War I, he came back to fight Africa War 1 and was later invited to assist China in the Asia War 3. He surely capitalised on the fact that we might not be able to unravel the truth since the event happened in way past.

High school was fun anyway. Though we all later realized we were scoping each other as in one way or the other, we got to know where everyother person lived and we never saw anything we claimed to have.

The girl that claimed they had Mercedes Benz 2000, actually happened to be the daughter of a Commercial Bus Driver. Dimejis dad was just a Neighborhood Watch Official of the LAGOS State Government, Yes, Ramon's DAD was an Alahaji, but he never rode to Mecca, and they only happened to have lots of fruits in their compound that his mum simply sold them at the market

Mustiboy:
beware of scanners, ruuuun!!! and don't look back

hmmmmmmmmmmm

Hello Nlders, i know this is not meant for this section, but it is very urgent

This is very urgent, i want to know if My Oil ans gas career UK is real because i got a mail from them to come with attachments of my employment letter and UK visa application form



Please i need urgent response now


ANDREW'S CHAMBERS
Contact Name: Barrister EKE PETER
Designation: Legal Practitioner & Senior Advocate
Telephone: +2348189663133
Email: barr.peterudoh@gmail.com
Address:No. 4, Human Rights Avenue,(Formerly Club Road)
P.O.Box 726,Kano
Nigeria,

cc; Lalasticlala

Hello Nlders,

This is very urgent, i want to know if My Oil ans gas career UK is real because i got a mail from them to come with attachments of my employment letter and UK visa application form



Please i need urgent response now


ANDREW'S CHAMBERS
Contact Name: Barrister EKE PETER
Designation: Legal Practitioner & Senior Advocate
Telephone: +2348189663133
Email: barr.peterudoh@gmail.com
Address:No. 4, Human Rights Avenue,(Formerly Club Road)
P.O.Box 726,Kano
Nigeria,

cc; Lalasticlala

Saraki the player!!!

•Court to rule today


Some members of the Peoples Democratic
Party (PDP) have asked a Federal High Court
in Abuja to restrain the Senate from departing
from its standing rules in the appointment of
the Minority Leader for the Eighth National
Assembly.

The suit, aimed at frustrating the possible
emergence of former Akwa Ibom State
Governor, Senator Godswill Akpabio, as the
Senate’s Minority Leader, was filed by two
members of the PDP from Rivers and Imo
states.

The plaintiffs in the suit are Alaye Don Pedro
(Ward 8 Akuku-Toru Local Government Area,
Rivers State) and Okechukwu Ibeh of
Umukegwu/Umuopia in Ide Ato Local
Government Area, Imo State.

The suit has the Senate President, Bukola
Saraki (as the First respondent, followed by
Akpabio (as second respondents) and 16
others, who are members of the Southsouth
Senate Caucus.

They are Nelson Effiong, Bassey Albert,
Emmanuel Paulker, Ogola Foster, Ben Murray
Bruce, John Owan Enoh, Gershom Bassey,
Rose Oko, James Manager, Peter Nwaoboshi,
Ighoyota Amori, Clifford Ordia, Mathew
Urhoghide, George Thomson Sekibo, Olaka
Nwogu and Osinachukwu Ideozu.

It is the plaintiffs’ contention that the alleged
plot by some individuals to make Akpabio (a
first term senator) the Minority leader, was a
violation of Order 3(2) of the Senate Standing
Order 2015 (as amended).


Yesterday, the plaintiffs’ lawyer, Bankole
Akomolafe, argued his clients’ motion ex-parte
in which they sought orders restraining the
defendants from taking steps that could
negate the Senate’s ranking tradition.
Justice Kolawole, after listening to Akomolafe,
adjourned to today for ruling.

Four-time world player of the year, Lionel Mess was hosted in Gabon on Saturday July 18th by the country's President, Ali Bongo, for the brick laying of their new 22,000 seat stadium. He was chauffeur driven by the president himself around the streets of Libreville.
Messi officially started the building process at the Port-Gentil stadium, which will host Africa Cup of Nations matches in 2017. He came dressed in a casual pair of denim shorts and t-shirt
"When I was in Barcelona a few years ago, I met Messi who had told me that he would come to visit me in Libreville" said the Gabon president. "It's a promise he made me. He is a man of honour who just kept his word.".
There are reports that he was paid 3.5m Euros by Ali Bongo to make the appearance and it's causing a huge wahala in the country. More photos after the cut

dustmalik:
If true, then this is African Madness.

Seconded

Four-time world player of the year, Lionel Mess was hosted in Gabon on Saturday July 18th by the country's President, Ali Bongo, for the brick laying of their new 22,000 seat stadium. He was  chauffeur driven by the president himself around the streets of Libreville.

Messi officially started the building process at the Port-Gentil stadium, which will host Africa Cup of Nations matches in 2017. He came dressed in a casual pair of denim shorts and t-shirt

"When I was in Barcelona a few years ago, I met Messi who had told me that he would come to visit me in Libreville" said the Gabon president. "It's a promise he made me. He is a man of honour who just kept his word.".

There are reports that he was paid 3.5m Euros by Ali Bongo to make the appearance and it's causing a huge wahala in the country. More photos after the cut

Hmmmmmmmm

Drhenrysaint:

una don start

It's not enough for us to stay in the office and believe that we can create solutions to the traffic challenge that we have in the state..." said Akin Ambode, the Governor of Lagos State, on an inspection tour of traffic hotspots last month. In his first few weeks in office, Ambode visited the 3rd Mainland Bridge, Oworonshoki, Ketu, Abule-egba, Alimosho, Mile 2, Apapa, Mile 2 and the Lekki-Ajah Expressway. On those visits he announced plans to widen roads, install traffic lights, build a footbridge (in Berger) and a flyover (in Ajah). He also ordered the relocation of a number of traffic-causing bus-parks.

Like in other megacities around the world, vehicular traffic is one of the most pressing challenges facing Lagos. It's especially acute here for one simple reason: Lagos is one of the biggest megacities in the world without a functioning city-wide rail system.

There's also one important thing worth noting: the paucity of existing road infrastructure in the city, relative to other cities. As I summed it up in a recent column of mine: "London's Thames River and Paris' Seine are each crossed by more than 30 bridges. Lagos, with more people than either city, and a larger body of water (a fifth of the land mass is covered by water, compared to less than five per cent of Greater London) has a grand total of three bridges crossing the lagoon."

Most of the projects mentioned in news reports of the Governor's tour are quick-win interventions, and will not in any obviate the need for investing billions of dollars in investments (over the next several years) to build new roads and bridges, and to complete a light-rail project that is now well behind schedule.

The latest quick-win solution unveiled by Ambode focuses on deploying modern communications technology. As a press statement put it: "The state will introduce a world class traffic information and management system. A smart network comprising of hundreds of cameras, road sensors and electronic displays have been specially designed to collect and deliver real time information to city commuters that will help regulate traffic. Highly visible displays and a mobile phone application will flag highly congested hotspots, suggest alternative routes and estimate arrival times – all in real time."

There are no details yet regarding the planned traffic management system. Factors that will need to be considered include mobile phone usage patterns in Lagos. Nigeria has one of the highest mobile phone penetrations in the world (in excess of 100 percent), about a third of those phones are smartphones -- but I haven't seen anything that disaggregates the national data by city or state (I imagine smartphone and Internet penetration in Lagos would be well above everywhere else in the country).

The previous government launched a radio station exclusively focused on providing traffic reports. If this new management system takes off as planned, it'd be a welcome addition, offering useful opportunities for synergy between online and offline mediums (old-fashioned radio in this case).

I'd end this post by saying the government would do well to pay attention to a number of existing applications, developed privately, and enjoying varying degrees of success across the state. I'm sure there are lessons and experience to be shared; no point repeating mistakes others have spent time and money figuring out.

Tsaboin: Live traffic cameras, available for viewing on a Mobile App.
Traffikator: Real-time traffic info using a combination of crowd-sourced traffic updates and geolocation.
TrafficLite: Android and Blackberry App that offers real-time reports and updates on traffic and road situations. Assembles real-time data (travelling speed, travelling times) by tracking road journeys of registered users.
Traffic Chief: Crowd-sourced traffic reports obtained from Twitter, and displayed interactively on Google Maps.
GidiTraffic: Crowd-sourced traffic reports (including photos and videos) obtained primarily through Twitter, and disseminated through Twitter as well as to subscribers to a Mobile App for Nokia and Android Phones.
Lagos Traffic Radio (96.1FM): Radio Station offering crowd-sourced, real-time traffic information.
If you know any other interesting interventions aimed at making it easier to drive through Lagos, please share them below as a comment

Hmmmmmmmm

This is the picture of the President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria with the Senate President.
From all indications, things isn't smooth between the two of them. GMB be like avoiding Saraki


But the question is; Must they sit together?

hmmmmmmmmmm

PassingShot:
No source?

America must be very stoopid to think they can impose their very corrupt way of life on Africa.

The Nigerian president that will work to reverse that anti-gay law is not yet born.

Sauce added with maggi

Abeg who get Obama number? I wanna f**k the guy ....... Devil incarnate!!!

The US Assistant Secretary of State for African Affairs, Linda Thomas-Greenfield, said this during a live-web chat with journalists in Washington. Our correspondent monitored the web chat in Abuja.

Thomas-Greenfield also said that America was not bothered that Chinese companies were fast taking over the African market from their US counterparts.

President Goodluck Jonathan had on January 7, 2014 assented to the Same Sex Marriage (Prohibition) Bill 2013 which criminalises homosexuality in the country.

On January 14 when it became public that the President had signed the bill into law, the US, Canada and the European Union openly expressed reservations over the law.

Thomas-Greenfield, who said the US had adopted the protection of the rights of same-sex people as part of its foreign policies, vowed that Washington would continue to mount and sustain pressure on Nigeria and other countries to reverse their laws against the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Trans-gender community

She said, “As a government, it is one of the highest priorities and strongest values that discrimination against anyone based on their sexual orientation and gender identity is wrong. We believe human rights should be available to everybody.

“As a policy, we will continue to press the government of Nigeria as well as other governments who have provided legislation that discriminate against the LGBT community.”

Thomas-Greenfiled, who did not agree that pressuring Nigeria to reverse the anti-gay law amounted to interference, said the country and Uganda had the hardest legislation on the gay community.

She said, “This is very much a work in progress, but I think you will agree with me that the law in Nigeria really went far in discriminating against this community but also people who associate with them.

“So we will continue to press the government, to press the legislature to change these laws and provide human rights for all Nigerian people regardless of their sexual orientation.”

She, however, did not disclose if the US would impose sanctions on the countries with anti-gay laws to achieve its objectives.

Thomas-Greenfield was optimistic that the U.S would win the fight to protect the LGBT community.

She said, “With what is happening in the US, you can determine how far we are willing to go. We strongly believe human rights for all people and we are particularly opposed to legislation that actually targets the gay community for discrimination. So we are prepared to push this as a policy not just in Africa but across the world.


http://www.naij.com/away.php?to=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.punchng.com

Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho has refused to sanction the sale of midfielder John Mikel Obi, delivering a blow to United Arab Emirates suitors Al Ain and Al Wahda. The Nigeria international, who started only six league games last season, wants to leave Stamford Bridge after failing to hold down a regular starting place.

The 28-year-old, who has two years left on his contract, has been told he remains part of manager Mourinho’s future plans. “There’s absolutely no truth to reports linking Mikel with a move to Turkey or any Chinese club for that matter,” a source close to the talks said. “Only two clubs from the UAE showed strong interest last month but they could not meet his club’s valuation.

“Mikel has a contract with Chelsea until 2017, as things stand he will not be leaving the club this transfer window as speculated.

”Mikel who moved to Chelsea in the summer of 2006 has increasingly become a fringe member of the squad due to the form of Nemanja Matic. With the emergence of highly-rated midfielder Ruben Loftus-Cheek, the Super Eagle has fallen down the pecking order at the club ahead of the 2015/16 season. Fenerbahce are reportedly interested in signing Mikel but Chelsea will only listen to a US $16.8 million offer.

The Turkish club’s president Aziz Yildirim has told the local media they cannot meet Chelsea’s valuation. “Chelsea want 15 million euros and Mikel asked for €5 million a season over four years. We are talking 35 million euros,” Yildirim told reporters at their Topuk Yayla training ground.

Lemme pitch my tent here

Should in case

issokay!

Ok sir

Hmmmmmmmm

Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho has refused to sanction the sale of midfielder John Mikel Obi, delivering a blow to United Arab Emirates suitors Al Ain and Al Wahda. The Nigeria international, who started only six league games last season, wants to leave Stamford Bridge after failing to hold down a regular starting place.

The 28-year-old, who has two years left on his contract, has been told he remains part of manager Mourinho’s future plans. “There’s absolutely no truth to reports linking Mikel with a move to Turkey or any Chinese club for that matter,” a source close to the talks said. “Only two clubs from the UAE showed strong interest last month but they could not meet his club’s valuation.

“Mikel has a contract with Chelsea until 2017, as things stand he will not be leaving the club this transfer window as speculated.

”Mikel who moved to Chelsea in the summer of 2006 has increasingly become a fringe member of the squad due to the form of Nemanja Matic. With the emergence of highly-rated midfielder Ruben Loftus-Cheek, the Super Eagle has fallen down the pecking order at the club ahead of the 2015/16 season. Fenerbahce are reportedly interested in signing Mikel but Chelsea will only listen to a US $16.8 million offer.

The Turkish club’s president Aziz Yildirim has told the local media they cannot meet Chelsea’s valuation. “Chelsea want 15 million euros and Mikel asked for €5 million a season over four years. We are talking 35 million euros,” Yildirim told reporters at their Topuk Yayla training ground.

feldido:
Ok

una don start

The Governor of Sokoto State, Aminu Tambuwal has approved the immediate payment of July salaries to workers of the state ahead of the Eid-el-Fitr.

This was made known in a press statement by the governor’s Chief Press Secretary, Mallam Imam Imam today. It also stated that payment of salaries has commenced for all categories of workers in the state civil service.
The Governor ‎urged workers in the public service to reciprocate the government’s gesture by continuing to render invaluable services to the state.