₦airaland Forum

bennyrazz:
marriage shouldn't even be on the list of the African you come from. I mean girls in your country should not even Marry at all, what the heck, you don't need husbands. Leave men alone and achieve whatever you want to achieve.


Back to topic. This article above was surely written by a feminist, the moment women equate themselves with or strive to be more than men is the day this world would turn upside down. Do you know why? women don't think about repercussions.

You don't seem to understand poster,

He said women should value stuff like career, money studies first,

Marriage shouldn't be a do or die affair

Nigerian girls, not all African girls, where I come from marriage is last on the list for girls, and am from Africa too

I doubt that will change though, it is part of Nigerian culture, culture hardly change in people.

Kids especially little boys eat like there's no tomorrow , sometimes they experience growth spurts moments and have to eat more

Just feed him as much as he wants.

Siena:
[color=Blue]It's all well and good for you guys to berate the thread starter, a pregnant woman. As for those who are saying you're married to your inlaws too, you need them etc.

I can honestly say many of you know EXACTLY what the thread starter is on about, and where she's coming from, you just refuse to acknowledge what is glaringly obvious. This teen WAS being obstinate, bringing her bad manners from her own home to that of her hosts. The fact remains inlaws CAN be a pain in the posterior. I do NOT feel an 18-year-old girl needs to be asked for help in the home of her host. It's common sense.

Jeeze, in Nigeria, you would see a stranger in the street, struggling to lift a stack of firewood onto her head, or a comparably light bucket of water. It is pretty common to offer help to lift this load, in most cases, we do it without being asked! So tell me, why would this teen NEED to be asked to render assistance to her pregnant host, who is also a relative?

My myself and my wife have been on the receiving end of similar, where a house guest (a good friend of hers) would sit with her laptop, or hog the TV remote, not stirring till food was ready. She had her own bathroom, yet would NOT clean it up, leaving my wife to sort out the mess. She just did NOTHING! How old was this girl?

She was 30!

I can see inlaws CAN be useful, but I can also see they can be the world's biggest meddlers, who can seriously raise cain in your marital home, if you let them. This is also one of the reasons myself and my wife do NOT have inlaws from either side stay over for any length of time. The longest has been 3 nights, and that is more than enough. [/color]

You spoke like a thousand wise men

People need to learn etiquettes on becoming a houseguest

Pick after yourself, clean, help with house chores, how hard is that

A 18 year old girl should have taken over dishwashing, then the pregnant woman cooks, then they both clean the house, it ain't going to kill anyone that way life is easy( the HUSBAND has requested the girl to help she has refused, what is poster supposed to do, collapse her pregnancy self trying to make this girl food)

Talk about naughty guest we hosted a couple that would be getting up at 1 pm everyday to eat then sleep, lol, we had to give them a deadline to vacate, where do people learn this manners of overburdening the host, eating free and sleeping free lol

I'm with you, no in laws over from either sides, unless under very special circumstances, and a set day for departure has been set,
I'm raising 3 kids under 5 years and God forbid I have an extra person to take care of, I will lose my mind.

tivta:
Who do you now run to in times of trouble?

Same family.

Beautiful

Beutiful body
Cute baby

I like

tivta:
My dear, this is Africa, weather we like it or not we need the blessings of our parents before marriage, even the Bible says "honor your mother and father so your days might be long"...

This is Africa but I make my own decisions, no family involved

He does not want to marry you, please move on

If you push further he will use you

Please be glad if a man is at least sincere to give you excuses

Exponental:
is she pregnant? if yes...ignore!
if no....investigate.

Investigate what Or who Has she turned to a detective instead of looking for a husband she is busy trying to break her brothers marriage

And who will let her do her stooped investigation

I don't let people in my house anyhow In laws or my own family, I hope that woman does not allow her any visits

tivta:
Modified

Can any one here tell me the issues involved in dating or marrying a single mom? What are the pros and cons? The lady in question has a 7 year old daughter.

If your family is still deciding stuff for you, then marriage is not for you

Loisemm:
My sis, just relax because of ur condition. the girl feels she came on holiday as a guest (which is true). but she came at a wrong time I guess cos u are pregnant now n moreover there is no house maid or cook to wait on her. My advice is try ur best to make her holiday n her memory of u a good one. like one will treat a guest that will soon go. she may even stay to help u out after child birth if she begins to enjoy her stay. N u will not leave her with the impression that wives dont like inlaws. moreover at 18, wetin she know. she is still too young to fully comprehend what proper etiquette may be.

I like your comment, people are assuming she don't like the girl, it's the pregnancy factor,

She feels to overwhelmed to take care of the household plus a live in guest, very understandable ( pregnancy is not easy on every woman)

When I was pregnant I became dizzy and weak with any housework, I don't know what I would have done if I had family visiting and waiting for me to do stuff.

lovaleenny:
But if it was ur younger bro or sis u wudnt have minded cooking ba...or what if it was ur MIL...wud u still complain...let's be honest here from ur write up you've been beefing d gal before she even set foot into ur home...u think am not married toor if u need d girl's help "ask" and stop coming to NL to air ur frustration wen it can be sorted out if u apply maturity...u aint d first to get married neither are u d first to get pregnant...have a lovely evening

I personally have no problem sending my real brother and sister packing. It's only hard if they are in-laws because of the backlash

lovaleenny:
But if it was ur younger bro or sis u wudnt have minded cooking ba...or what if it was ur MIL...wud u still complain...let's be honest here from ur write up you've been beefing d gal before she even set foot into ur home...u think am not married toor if u need d girl's help "ask" and stop coming to NL to air ur frustration wen it can be sorted out if u apply maturity...u aint d first to get married neither are u d first to get pregnant...have a lovely evening

Stop attacking her. She just aired what she thought. She did not send anyone packing. She is pregnant abeg. Give her a break

V0lv0:
Extremely. They are very xenophobic especially to Ghanaians, South Africans and Kenyans. It's really sickening and while I initially first came on this site as a way to get in touch with other African brothers and sisters I have actually gotten more than I bargained for and the extreme hate and nasty comments can make even mother theresa become a terrorist

Anyways good luck. It can be really draining though. There are some nice people and they tend to be the most "westernized' of the lot

You have spoken like a 1000 wise men, my dear,

The look down on fellow Africans especially from Ghana, Kenya and South Africa

They call fellow Africans black which is one thing I never understand from Nigerians( an intelligent person will know that subsaharan Africa is black and that is our identity in the world) unique and beautiful

Just come in to this forum with an open mind and don't take anything personal

praxisnetworks:
No way! She should dig deeper....

What should she dig for, is she a skunk or raccoon to dig sand,

This one is a potential trouble maker that needs to find a husband immediately to get busy

Her brother is an adult and does not need a nosy watchman, who will let her come dig, she will be thrown out like a ball, then they will sit down condemn their daughter in law

Because they are mean and selfish

Nothing wrong love conquers

Onegai:
I know what it is to be heavy but simple words can diffuse a small issue. Instead shes already reading meanings into stuff that hasn't happened and planning for war in the future (in her mind she's calling it "setting boundaries". Had she told that girl and she refused to help, ehen...



my dear...

maybe it's the pregnancy raging hormones lol,

babeabike:
Lol @ let go sharp sharp.

Me don't want to tell her because my husband has indirectly say things like : Go help aunty in the kitchen and all sorts"

Is it not better not to come around at all,than allow them come and they carry stories to their houses that you are wicked and all those touchy stories.

Sincerely I have no problem with the babe,as I type we are on our way to ikeja taking her out so she can just add fun to her visit (this outing is on my advice oo

I'm just thinking if most inlaws will give this posture,there is no point coming around

I have zero tolerance for in laws tha meddle with my house affairs

I chose not to invite any of my sister in laws unless I know their character well, my other in laws are always welcomed especially brother in laws and their wives and kids.

Get to know your in laws better, avoid troublemakers in their midst, reward the wonderful ones,

And as a responsible sister in law, why did you not offer to help your brother, instead you walked out?

Onegai:
Osolobua, truly women are other women's problems. One is complaining about one 18 year old female cousin instead of minding her pregnancy, this one is accusing her SiL of doing jazz because her brother has become a considerate person.

Chai!

I can excuse the pregnant woman because she is overwhelmed, every pregnant woman can appreciate a little help

Oyind17:
She is not sick

Did they tell you, or just part of your investigation

Not all sick people lay in bed, your brother does not have to disclose to you all that is going on in his home

Cutehector:
i just dont think dat girl will come into a house and be all lazy... She might hav exaggerated things due to hatred she just had for her for no reason

Why would she exaggerate in a faceless forum? What would be her motive,

You probably haven't seen rude kids who refuse to do house chores even in their own homes? Then the parents send them to relatives and there they act worse.

Poster can try give this girl some chances, but I have seen kids like this, trust me

StefanSalvatore:
It's so not ryt, wat kind of boy boy is dat, her own husband. Who knows wat she might av him doing since dey r living 2geda.

Talk 2 ur broda first,it's from his response u'll knw if e jst volunteered (dat is sending him lyk an errand boy)or if not u knw there r crious issues in d marriage.

What are you implying what if the wife is sick

What if she suffered miscarriage

What if she has cramps, is dizzy and weak

DO THEY NEED A BILLBOARD THAT SAYS sick wife FOR NOSY INLAWS who cannot mind their own business.

Cutehector:
do u just get it at all? Pls try to understand my comment very well before embarrasin urself..

If anyone intends to live with people it is only normal that everyone chip in to help with house chores, especially with no maid, a pregnant woman, or a woman who has just delivered a baby, a busy husband,

Now everyone knows visiting and only waiting to be attended to, eat and sleep, will wear your host out,

I was once hosted abroad with a couple I hardly knew, they had two kids, my dear I did all and every house chore plus watching kids free, because I appreciated they offered me a place to sleep and eat fro free, when I left to go to school they almost cried I was only 19 years then.

Why would you go to your brothers unnoticed in this era of cell phones

You must have already made up preconceived ideas about your sister in law and you were investigating,

Please marry and move on busy body

babeabike:
Thanks,my husband has actually tried to talk to her.asking "why Av u locked urself in the room? Why not join my wife in the kitchen? Of course he is been careful because of future stories that touches because of cos he knows I won't go sweating in the kitchen if it was just d both of us in the house with my condition.So my husband feels guilty sef

I am an extreme extrovert and get along with people so easily.But I'm just like if inlaws are going to be coming around and be like this, I may not welcome any further.

Note oo: When she came,I took her to d room,laid the bed.gave her a new slippers she can wear around the house and said she should feel free to ask anything she needs.

I no try?

Years ago my dear I told hubby same thing, I said I don't want to see this your people because of my sister in law attitudes,

But I had to correct that because all my male in laws adore me, their wives and kids get along fine with me, so all you have to do is be diplomatic with in laws see who is good see who is bad, work with the good ones ignore the bad ones

If the only bad thing that your girl is doing is not helping in the house you and hubby can tell her nicely that in order to live there she has to abide with family rules and one of them is sharing chores or go home.

My sister in law was worse, gossiping about me, stealing my stuff, bad mouthing, I had to let her go sharp sharp

Maybe that girl is spoilt not much home training, however you

Shouldn't use her as yardstick to judge all in laws, especially if your mother in law is helpful, that is what counts

Talk to her, ask her why she does not want to help, assign one specific house chore for her see how it goes, then carry from there

sweatlana:
I read your story from start to finish. I feel Yorkshire pain however of really like to hear from your wife. Tell her to join NL and give her own particular of the story. And let the unbiased people judge.

You had to quote everything for you to offer no feasible advice, how can you advice someone suffering to make a mad woman come to post her side

cococandy:
Where are those anti-divorce marriage protectors on NL. Make Una come preach to this man to stay, protect his marriage and build his home in the face of violence and infidelity.
Suddenly so silent?

TV01.
And crew.

Enduring, fasting and praying in the mountain of fire, because divorce is a sin is always applicable to women only If it were a woman they would ask her to kneel down and beg,
Or they would demand to know what wrong she is doing

Now it's a man, they are hiding lol

If you are not familiar with this forums double standards

When you finally divorce and hide to start a new life

Remember to post her picture here so all this desperate men will not fall victims

That you friend though, he sank you alive, I would break his legs first, friend indeed, how did he know that maniac before hooking you.