₦airaland Forum

greatbrian:
Are you serious? What of those that are good to go before that age

If you're good to go then you're good to go...I was just generalising

BreconHills:
Your advice is interesting, emotion evoking but quite wrong. It is extremely polar. It suggests that the .

Great, I think this is one of the best posts I have ever read

WildChild00:
In that case, "will you marry me"?

Hahaha do you know if you can meet my other requirements?

generationz:
Abeg wetin dey shele for hia?

I'm lost. They say Uyai don marry?

Lol babe, no be from my mouth o

He married a lady from here but it's not confirmed who she is

Hahahaha no be small great day ooo chai!

lilwetdick:
hmm, i see...marriage is a do or die affairs in Nigeria, some see it as a poverty elevation program while some as a means to get respect and be among.

a big problem here among men in Nigeria is that once a man start earning salary the next thing he thinks about is marriage, to me it is strange because i believe once a man starts earning salary should be time to know more about himself and try to experiment with life, take risk, instead of finding any girl who wanna settle down and rush into marriage.. the desperation to marry among men and women here is real and has lead to lot of troubles..marriage is a long game decision and needs to be gotten into with caution.

Exactly, that's what I'm thinking. Marriage is an upgraded status here when it's supposed to be more than that. And some people do it at the cost of some other valuable life experiences.

At least with all the delay and hardship, when you finally have the money won't you take a look around, develop yourself, travel, pursue some hobbies and interests and stuff like that

I believe by at least 32/33 the man would have seen everything he wanted to see and have a well-rounded perspective.

Some of them will be rushing so that their parents won't complain or to have a respect among others but later at times they will say the woman is nagging them and restricting their freedom.

But really it's because they feel they are missing out on something or that they feel suffocated, because some of that personal development is not there and they already have too many extra responsibilities to be able to pursue them fully

Hmm...I notice that he has good style and fashion sense...on top all his wickedness..

yazga:
No, I am using your 27 as a yardstick to when they start breeding besides, some or many are preggy even before the marriage is consumated

Being pregnant or not is besides the point here

lilwetdick:
i think divorce is stigmatised in developed countries subtly, i have heard the phrase many times "she cant keep a husband, keep away from her" nobody will tell you directly but behavior and body language will tell

i know that women are protected in times of divorce in developed countries but also i will not advice any strong and able person to be on welfare because you got no freedoom, the govt decides for you.

Yes, you're right about that. And people there still look down on/gossip about unmarried folks. Even in the tabloid newspapers you'll be reading horrible comments. But there's still a higher degree of personal agency than here.

Marriage will always be a standard for normality in every culture but I think we take it to the extreme here, to the detriment of other factors.

I'm not talking about welfare payments or depending on the state, I'm talking about services that help and advise people who are experiencing problems. They help people to make good decisions that mean that divorce or separation is not the end of the world unlike the catastrophe that happens here, especially when people don't have good family support.

Those welfare payments and state services can also be good as long as you just use them temporarily to help yourself out and don't hang on them for life.

grossintel:
I'm 26 and marriage is so much on my mind right now, I live in a family apartment, earn a decent income. My girlfriend doesn't live with me until we're married and I completely understand. It's not about religion but mindset, you marry when you feel you're ready, I'm ready to settle down with a life partner, but I'm not ready for kids smashing my TV or dragging my ps4 with me. Those are two different things, so maybe I'll be ready for that at 35

You really need to read the last sentence on that post you responded to.

lilwetdick:
i agree completely with you but i also noticed people who get married between age 20-27, get divorce easily than those who married when older,let also not forget that countries with good economy do have higher divorce rate than countries with developing economies.

Because divorce is not (as) stigmatised in developed countries unlike here where they will use marriage to insult people and people will suffer
In bad marriages until they slump and die

Plus women are less financially dependent on men and divorce laws try to provide for them to an extent. And there are government/welfare services to help people with domestic problems

Godtschild:
For a Nigerian man.

Economy and culture is a factor. Countries with good economy is 25-29. Once a man is through with school and gets a job immediately and has worked 2-5 years, what is he waiting for? In the US a 29 y/o man has already worked for 5-8 years, he has already bought his first house..

Yes, for a Nigerian man.

The condition here tends to scupper and delay people's plans so we gats to learn to fly without perching for a while

edward1106:
A normal white man would have committed suicide after the job loss. They rarely settle for less. Its mostly the black men abroad who do such.

Lol suicide ke

Those white guys will jejely take their redundancy pay and move to the rural area or to France/Spain and open a farm, restaurant or hotel.

Some of them can even be sacked from banking or consultancy jobs and start driving Uber or importing spare motor parts

Black (immigrant) men are pushed into accepting those lower-paying jobs because of discrimination or because their credentials are not accepted. You'll be trying to pass and they will be trying to trap you with one story of how they attended sososo university or were CEO of whichever company wherever they came from

That's even what makes some of them go crazy because they feel emasculated and start venting it on their families

yazga:
How? when you are 32 your kids is 5 yrs already, 37 ypur kids is 10 and 47 the kids is 20yrs

Faulty reasoning, you're assuming they will start breeding in the wedding car or what

yazga:
No oooooooooooooooo 27 is ideal

Too young

Lol maybe this should be blasted from all the church pulpits in port Harcourt because this is their PhD project...boys there can never leave somebody's building alone even if you've stayed there for years

Just2endowed2:
You are right and same time, you are wrong. The op husband was born with a silver spoon and this category of men or women doesn't know anything about house chores and with that, they won't support nor help in the house. It remind me of my colleague born with a silver spoon. She lack basic home training and she can nag, and disrespectful.

Well not all of them are like that, it depends on the persons upbringing and orientation

Felicity001:
Now, I bath our baby, drop him in school Mon -Fri, clean, mob, wash baby cloths even most times wash my wife's, go out for my rat race hustle, pick him up in the evenings, still foot the bills. Wifi is a banker who comes back tired late and goes to work most weekend. With all of these I still get complains how I can't provide sufficiently for the family.
Women!!! Who can satisfy you people

Please sir, just forgive her. You're doing fine. No need for the outside lady...just ignore her please

DrNueLpureHoney:
Hiaaa.... Nne, O gini ka umunwoke mere unu.... O bu zi ajo ihe na nwoke bu Onye Isi ezinaulo achoghi ndi oru ngoo na bee Ya?

Ya buzi na nwoke ibe m GA abuzi boi boi maka na ighi na ego adighizi?

MA na mgbe oji dI money.... Nwunye Ya ekwughi ihe o bula ooo

Nwanyi wete ego nri na mkpuru onwa Abuo.... ogbaa na newspaper na o na eweta ego nri.

I ain't siding anybody but the kinda advice you ladies dey give the lady no dey add up at all....... It ain't proper

You're just going outside of the point...So who is going to do the work The woman is not around and the guy said he doesn't want those people so what is it again

The money is not even the point because the lady doesn't even mind supporting them. I don't know which one is boy boy in your own house for goodness sake

Austineva:
hahahaha. It seems u are an Igbo person, right?

Yeah. Though my Igbo isn't too great do you know why the proverb I'm my signature means? I can't get a good translation anywhere

jaxxy:
Actually they got a professional female teacher from a skol bt the kids grades kept coming down, they had to stop her. The kids aren’t easy to handle and they kept asking for me. That’s why they kept calling me. Lol

Lol exactly

DrNueLpureHoney:
Funny enOugh... I wonder why you ladies that have commented on this particular topic... Why una dey take dx matter to another angle..

I pray that woman in question seek(s) better advice and visitation by the Holy Spirit... If not eeeh... What I foresee via dx particular matter ain't going to be something one can write home about.

I pray God restores peace in her home not with all dx kinda advice you ladies have given to her here

Even me, with that title I called you I pity the person who will call you for any kind of serious meeting because anything they ask you you too go dey just reason one kind strange thing without even bothering to listen to the story .

The man chased the househelps away i na-ekwu okwu Holy Spirit. You are just rushing to side with the man even when the man is wrong and using your father as an example when your father didn't do what the man is doing

jaxxy:
There are strangers that are sane and well behaved bt u have to be lucky to meet them. If u can identify a trust worthy staff keep and encouraged them. I have also had people and a foreign family trust me when I had to teach their kids just after my skol days. Little kids with their own big rooms each, a guy and 2 gals. These kids live like adults. After teaching them I have to also play games with them. It was a deal I struck with them so they pay more attention during the lesson, I taught them well, they had top grades all through and when I left the family kept calling me back to teach the kids bt I had gotten too busy then.

Exactly but how to tell if the person is normal is the problem.

They keep calling you because they know it would be difficult to find another person like that

Austineva:
hmm I tire for some women o but what surprise me d most is that, there are still very reasonable women. Women that reason like humans. That's y I can't totally give up on women cos a lot of them are very wise especially d Igbo women. That's y I can't marry outside Igbo land. Some women enh hmmmm

Lol yes oh, don't worry..this Christmas you will get home and pick your own lol

Theboss100:
Those two would av made a wonderful couple u kw But i dnt like name calling. I enjoyed their entertainment though

Lol very funny people

DrNueLpureHoney:
This is not what my dad told me..

My dad ain't that rich but still my mom respects and loves him.....she do provide for the family when my dad was down and no outsider got to hear about it till date.

Okpu uzu, didn't you see where the woman said the man keeps chasing all the househelps away

The man wouldn't need to do any of the chores if he would stop venting his frustrations on the innocent maids. So all those things you have written are misdirected.

Unless you're trying to say that your father acted like that? I hope not oh

DrNueLpureHoney:
Chaiii... Ya bu na nwoke ibe m GA arubazi oru House help okwa Ya?

So what do you suggest?? Why can't the guy do it! You people want to kill somebody's daughter

Theboss100:
Pls 4give him for calling u nematode

Lol you have become the nematode quencher for their matter...did you even ask her if she minds being called a nematode?

Is she complaining??

DrNueLpureHoney:
Chukwu agaghi ekwe........ He shouldn't subject himself to such kinda stuff.... He doing the chores should be out of will nii

Hm. Chukwu ga-ekwe ooo don't bring Him into your bad mentality please

Austineva:
am not surprised at ur comments cos I have seen it all on ur profile pix. Men need to be very careful when choosing a life partner cos I have seen it all. Majority of women are Devil

Hahahaha what did you see in her profile pic what is evil about it na

Fountainofyouth:
He is not depressed anything abeg, why won't he allow his wife get a maid after changing 4 maids in a year? He is just a vindictive and bitter person, he hates the fact that his wife is the one working and he is the one at home, he just wants to domesticate her by force nah, abi why else will he tell her to do it herself, someone that is working and obviously needs help at home.....

Its actually probably a mixture of depression and faulty character. My own is that he should seek help instead of being selfish

truthsayer009:
Use your Nigerian figures bikonu, 7 figures is 1M naira. Which one is 6 figures that our ladies would be shouting upandan

Lol oga leave am like that so that when we go abroad the conversation go translate well

Instead of somebody overhearing that 7 figure and thinking you must be a scammer