₦airaland Forum

444croopy:
Too many ajee butters these days

Why do you think so?

To abdicate your masculine nature because society condemns it - is not virtuous. It is an act of self-betrayal.Your masculinity requires neither acceptance nor approval. To seek the same, is to desecrate the sanctity, the essence of masculinity & a violation of your integrity.

Lalasticlala pls help move to the front page

Shortyyy:
It's exactly the same traits of strong women that men can't handle. It's either they label her a bitter feminist, man hater, evening newspaper, heartless, lesbian etc.

Hi Shortyyy, my biased and confused friend. I've missed you o.

Strong women do not compete with men rather they embrace their feminity which is where their happiness and true power lies unlike confused selfish women who don't know what they want. Selfish women are deluded, unhappy, frustrated and confused feminists.



Selfish women are single women

Vulcanheph:
Dear Op
This thread of yours touched the deepest parts of my soul and my spirit will never rest if I don't give you something for it no matter how small it is.... Please send me your number (even if na recharge card make I send)

thanks but I prefer to send my account number instead. Already have enough subscription.


I appreciate your kindness by the way

marvel2011:
This applicable in 1876

...and is still applicable till now. Try get stronger, you'll love the results. It'll actually help you 80% in your relationships and life as a whole

Georgekyrian:
Nice piece OP

Thank you

Phayzz:
Thought i was the only one who didn't understand what she wrote

You see it too? I thought I was losing my reading skills

Magnoliaa:
[color=deeppink]You try. You try. Wohuuup. **claps hard in a standing ovation**. Your crying theatrics are awesome. You're on your way to winning an Oscar if you keep it up. [/color]


[color=deeppink]Mai deer, it's not my fault you see the Op's list as exceptional, oh. It's really not. Yes. More. Perfection + an utopian feminist love is goals. Your pity has got no purpose to serve. It gladdens me how my standards even stood out for you, actually. You don't know me and so I do not care about your judgment on my 'one-sided' whatever.

Bonus tip: I've been through the shii list up there in my early teenage years, so... ya.[/color]


[color=deeppink] If I like I should reply kfciucdhhyfdr khdhitdrhigrhi hireciobfukhfthujihgy htrciyvdhigf..
Hm. Not too bad for a closing remark/epilogue. I'll score you 1.1/2, sha.[/color]

Speak English please

gaius01:
Mtcheeew !!!
You should go and write yours. People like you are nothing but bug, you can't write anything meaningful rather you will be looking for post to unleash your feminist theory. Can you see that is the reason you ain't married. Change your ideology, I have never seen a married feminist doing well in her home even she scale through to marry.

You were expecting more?? Are you kidding me?? More ?? I pity the man that you are dating or engage to, more asin you want him to be perfect when the girl is bias with her one side ideology of feminism.

If you like reply this post with an insult am not expecting less than that from a feminist..
Good day!!!

I wonder what she'll teach her son in the future.

But to be sincere, women don't like being told what they are nor appreciate any thing that reminds them of what they are, so they're likely to argue or come up with conspiracy theories. Don't argue with them. You won't win. Just manipulate them and you'll appreciate them the more.

gaius01:
Arrrrrrrh

What a tidbit, Op you wrote well.

Wow wow wow this certainly the kind of man am becoming. I can't wait to reach that apogee !!

Good for you. I wish most men were strong enough to lead and not the weaklings we have today. Weak men mostly complain of their women's attitudes, strong men mould her.

Magnoliaa:
[color=deeppink]And these are "strong," how?

Mtchew.

If these are STroNg then I wonder how your "leasts" and "averages" would be like, lmao. I expected more.[/color]

Sorry to dissapoint you.

The definition of masculinity and manhood is ever-changing and evolving with the times. Gone are the days when only males who drove rugged cars and were eager to square up and fight were considered strong men. And with this steadily shifting narrative on what strength in men entails, there are naturally people who are unable to deal with it.

Strong men make amazing partners. They are fantastic friends, family members and more. But some women may have difficulty accepting the new trend of masculinity and all the things that make men so strong.

Here are the 10 traits of strong men that women can't handle

1. [color=navy] They prefer to promote peace over violence [/color]

Violence is seldom the answer, and a strong man knows that he doesn’t have to use his muscles to showcase his problem-solving skills. When faced with an awkward situation, he uses his mind and heart to overcome it instead of turning to aggression.

Of course, some women may be unused to this approach to problems from men. It may cause them to perceive these men as weak which is a very misguided view of the situation. Regardless, a strong man knows that there is wisdom in picking battles, finding compromises and promoting understanding and peace.

2. [color=navy] Strong men are ambitious[/color]

A strong man is highly ambitious. This ambition can often mean putting their careers and goals above any romantic attachments. It’s a highly respectable and positive decision, but it’s one that some women may take issue with, as it automatically lowers their position on the ladder of priority.

Of course, strong men know the value of balance too so are happy to balance their ambitions and family life once a relationship is more committed. But it is unlikely that the relationship will be anything more than of equal priority to their other goals, which is something that some women may dislike.

3. [color=navy] They know what they want[/color]

Being wishy is a historically weak quality no matter which gender is performing it. That’s why a strong man knows what it is that he wants and have no qualms about going for it without hesitation.

A strong man analyzes his wants and needs, reflecting on his wishes and actions to discover what he wants. This doesn’t mean that he has everything figured out. Instead, it shows that he is aware of his direction in life and he knows what the heart of his desires are.

On top of that, a man’s strength will not let anything stand between him and his goals. His positive thinking has no room for pessimism. Someone who slows him down or stops him from getting where he wants to be isn’t going to be kept around for long.

4. [color=navy]Strong men demand and provide honesty[/color]

A strong man doesn’t see any point in beating around the bush. He wants clear communication at all times. He sees no point in obscuring the truth with buttery, flowery speech. This is because he wants the honest constructive truth quickly and he believes that others would benefit from receiving such honesty.

It’s not unusual for women to occasionally desire a gentler type of speech from their partners. As such, the blunt directness of a strong man may be off-putting to them. But at the heart of it all, this is a man who wants clear communication and easy understanding and that is a positive thing for any relationship in the long run.

5. [color=navy] They take the lead[/color]

A strong man does not shy away from leadership roles. They are more than happy to take the reins and all the responsibility that comes with it. They can take the initiative and put in all the effort needed for it to work unlike the simps who wants their women to mother them.

But lots of women have bad experiences with being wrongfully mansplained to, or being treated as incompetent. As such, some women may misinterpret a strong man’s natural leadership abilities and command as an act of sexism.

But hang around him more and you’ll realize that he merely has a desire to take the initiative, regardless of the genders of everyone else in the room. All you need is positive thinking.

6. [color=navy]They know what they are worthy of[/color]

Many times, men are reduced to having to be “grateful” for the women they date. They have to express that they feel “lucky” and as though they should be thankful for a woman to want to date them at all.

But a strong man doesn’t have time for this type of self-deprecation. They know what they are worth and they know what they deserve. They refuse to stand for adverse treatment and will not settle for less than what is fair for them.

Sure, a strong man will feel lucky to have found his significant other but will also realistically know that they are valuable to the relationship too. They have something to offer just as their partner does. It is this type of positive thinking that keeps their self-esteem healthy and balanced.

7. [color=navy] They value their time alone[/color]

These types of men genuinely see the importance of being comfortable with being alone for their self-improvement. This means that a man of strength will always want a little time to himself once in a while.

In this time alone, he can meditate, reflect and be his person and that’s very important to a strong man. They want to be free to explore their hobbies and interests and they also want to have time to explore themselves. If someone takes his desire to be alone personally, he will cut them off.

8. [color=navy]Strong men are fiercely independent[/color]

They don’t need anyone to tell them what to do. They know how to care for themselves and don’t wish reliant on anyone neither do they want anyone to be excessively reliant on them, nor do they want to be controlled. Independence is essential to them.



Strong men have much to offer, whether to relationships, to their workplace, or to themselves. Women who can’t handle them are certainly missing out but these men don’t care about that. Instead, they’re happy waiting until the right person comes along.

If you’re a man who aspires to emanate these qualities, don’t let the fear of women being unable to keep up stop you. Your strength comes from within, not from the people around you. Besides, do you want a partner who doesn’t want you to be strong?

Being strong is something to be celebrated and appreciated and you’ll find that this strength propels you through life in ways no external person can do for you. So take that strength, nurture it and wear it proudly.



[color=navy] HOPE I'M MAKING SENSE[/color]

SmellySperm:
better than simping

How is abstaining from premarital sex simping ?

Stephenmoka4:
Truly people have mixed bed affairs with love, if the be affair is remove - how many would stay?

I can't tell but the right people will stay, the pretenders will leave.

Stephenmoka4:
Well it's getting common and if one party is into abstaining till marriage the, other will say they want to test or other excuse.

One have to find someone who matches similar interests.

If the person truly loves you, he/she will wait.
Sad that what most people term love today is just lust or mere infatuation. When they have a crush, their feelings most times is just to have sex with the person and not genuine love

Yusufisraelj:
Brilliant

Thanks

SmellySperm:
no testing,no dating

You're a flibbertigibbet

Yusufisraelj:
@bolded some relationship will require you change circles (friends). Yes you will change friends who your relationship offends or are negative towards your relationship. I'm not saying you don't take counsel.

Some people prefer you remain in a place in life and when you make progress it negatively affected them,you need to cut off. 100%

You're right but negative friends aren't friends.

We only need friends we can trust and dedicate ourselves to. If we find ourselves not being able to trust them, then they aren't genuinely our friends.

Relationships are also friendships and a healthy one won't separate us from our genuine friends all because, our true friends are similar to us, influence us positively and have an important part in our lives. Losing them will make us fall into depression, loneliness or even setbacks. Though having a new partner can make us not to give our friends our attention as before, it shouldn't make us completely leave them

Lalasticlala what do you think?

People say that trust is very important in a relationship. But, it’s a false concept. Time is the most important thing. With time grows trust, friendship, and an inseparable bond between your partner and you. Let your relationship be guided by time and it will be healthier. When relationships are handled in a hurry, there will be setbacks and regrets especially when it had eventually turned into marriage. A healthy relationship will never require you to sacrifice your friends, your dreams or your dignity. Heartbreak is not just a metaphor, it is real

CalliDora1:
Very true but unfortunately most men believe so much in it and kick against abstainence with silly excuses like, you have to test what you're buying first.

I'm even scared these days of dating cos most men have lost it when it comes to self discipline in sexual matters.

Tell them. Biko.

It goes both ways.

Traditionally, premarital relationships were viewed with contempt and disapproval, especially in African society. People were expected to save themselves for marriage and precocious premarital relationships were considered to have adverse effects on the individuals involved. However, over time that perception has changed to a large extent as more and more people get involved with longterm romantic relationships and marriage becomes a choice more than a life goal to be met, the need to be physically intimate with one’s partner has gained more acceptance. Even though intimacy between two people in a relationship can be hard to resist, it does come with its share of baggage and pitfalls.

I will be sharing some of the pitfalls and I will not be biased on each of them.

Premarital intimacy brings some the risks and damages such as:


1. One tends to lose interest in the partner

Premarital sex gives you both a chance to explore your sexual desires in every way possible. There is a high chance that what you experience in these sexual encounters with your partner may be very different from your expectations and vice-versa.

This increases the chances of either one or both of you losing interest in the other partner and can damage the long-term prospects of even the most secure and stable relationship in the long run. This is also termed as "see finish" by the average nigerian.

2. Premarital sex affects most relationships in a negative way

If you’re sexually active before marriage, chances are that you’re getting your action on the sly. This means having to lie to your family about your whereabouts. All this secrecy and tendency to lie can start affecting your relationship with your family and friends; and may even alienate you from the people who have been your strongest support system such as friends and family.

3. You may become the object of gossip

In the event that you’re unable to keep your sexual encounters hidden, you may find yourself in the thick of demeaning insults, unsettling gossip and speculations. Irrespective of how accepting people claim to be about it, years of conditioning prevents them from being completely comfortable with the idea of sexual encounters between unmarried partners. All this gossip and ‘bad reputation’ can be disconcerting to your family which will in turn, impact your peace of mind too.

4. Trauma in case of unwanted pregnancy

I once had a colleague who was consistently hooking up with a friend. Even though she had intense feelings for the guy, he remained noncommittal about the relationship. Yet, every now and again, they’d end up in bed together. After about six months of this back and forth, she got pregnant and the guy just up and vanished.

He switched off his phone after hearing the news and was unreachable for days. She had to go through the abortion alone and didn’t confide in anyone about the traumatic event for months afterwards. Needless to say, the experience scarred her for life. To make matter worse, the abortion led to infertility.

Unwanted pregnancies can have devastating consequences. If the partner does not support you during this trying time, you’re left to fend for yourself at a time when you may not have the emotional and financial prowess to deal with the situation. Even if abortion is an option, it can come with lifelong physical and psychological ramifications. Similarly, engaging in unprotected premarital sex and popping emergency contraceptive pill afterwards can also have serious side effects.

5. High risk of STDs

The hormones are raging, there are sparks flying and intense emotions at play. All of these factors can trigger an insatiable lust. In the heat of the moment, the thought of using protection may not even cross your mind or may seem inconsequential. However, if you’ve multiple partners or are engaging in sex with someone whose sexual history you have no clue about, you expose yourself to the risk of sexually transmitted diseases(STDs).

Whether it is itching, burning, rashes on your genitals or something serious as herpes or HIV, your sexual and reproductive health may be seriously compromised in the bargain. Besides, at that stage in your life, you may not have the resources or knowledge to deal with such medical complications independently.

6. Having sex changes your body

When you lose your virginity, your body undergoes physical as well as psychological changes. It’s almost as if you become a new person who looks different and has a changed perspective on everything. Your breasts swell up, your hips may feel wider, you may experience sudden sexual urges – all of this can be hard to process, especially if you become sexually active at a young age.

7. You step into your marriage with an emotional baggage

Sex is not just an act between two bodies, it is an engagement of the mind and subconscious too. That relationship may not work out in the long term, you move on and marry someone else but it becomes difficult to shake off the emotional baggage from your past completely. The feelings of anger, betrayal or even residual love can interfere with your ability to start a new relationship with a clean slate. That's one of the major reasons we have many divorcees today.

8. The premarital relationship may lead to infidelity

Having shared close physical intimacy with a person may increase the likelihood of infidelity after the relationship has run its course. Say you and your partner part ways, and you move on with another person. However, somewhere down the line, this old flame comes back into your life. In such cases, the likelihood of cheating on one’s present partner increases because you already share a comfort level with this other person from your past, so being with them feels familiar and comforting rather than unnatural or wrong.

9. Premarital sex can change your outlook toward love

This happens when you get physical intimacy is followed by heartbreak. You were physically and emotionally invested in the relationship. Perhaps, you were young and this was one of those fairytale romances where you automatically imagine a happily ever after. Then, your partner falls out of love and move on, and the cruel reality of life hits you. This can change your outlook toward love and you might start viewing everyone with suspicion. As a result, you may push away even a genuine person and struggle to establish a meaningful relationship again.

10. You risk spiritual damage

Religious conditioning and beliefs are a major influence on a person’s value system and thought process. Most religions advice against sexual intimacy in premarital relationships. If you’ve grown up in a deeply religious or spiritual environment, the physical intimacy between you and your partner may affect you spiritually. You may find it hard to connect with ‘your God’ as you did before, and that can have serious implications on the future course of your life since religion plays an important role in most people’s life.



I hope you’ll factor in these potential risks and consequences when making a decision about whether or not to take the plunge of sexual intimacy in premarital relationships. In the end, the right decision boils down to what works for you both individually and as a couple but if you’re doing it under pressure or out of fear of losing your significant other, I strongly recommend you don’t do it unless you want to.

Traditionally, premarital relationships were viewed with contempt and disapproval, especially in African society. People were expected to save themselves for marriage and precocious premarital relationships were considered to have adverse effects on the individuals involved. However, over time that perception has changed to a large extent as more and more people get involved with longterm romantic relationships and marriage becomes a choice more than a life goal to be met, the need to be physically intimate with one’s partner has gained more acceptance. Even though intimacy between two people in a relationship can be hard to resist, it does come with its share of baggage and pitfalls.

I will be sharing some of the pitfalls and I will not be biased on each of them.

Premarital intimacy brings some risks and damages such as:


1. One tends to lose interest in the partner

Premarital sex gives you both a chance to explore your sexual desires in every way possible. There is a high chance that what you experience in these sexual encounters with your partner may be very different from your expectations and vice-versa.

This increases the chances of either one or both of you losing interest in the other partner and can damage the long-term prospects of even the most secure and stable relationship in the long run. This is also termed as "see finish" by the average nigerian.

2. Premarital sex affects most relationships in a negative way

If you’re sexually active before marriage, chances are that you’re getting your action on the sly. This means having to lie to your family about your whereabouts. All this secrecy and tendency to lie can start affecting your relationship with your family and friends; and may even alienate you from the people who have been your strongest support system such as friends and family.

3. You may become the object of gossip

In the event that you’re unable to keep your sexual encounters hidden, you may find yourself in the thick of demeaning insults, unsettling gossip and speculations. Irrespective of how accepting people claim to be about it, years of conditioning prevents them from being completely comfortable with the idea of sexual encounters between unmarried partners. All this gossip and ‘bad reputation’ can be disconcerting to your family which will in turn, impact your peace of mind too.

4. Trauma in case of unwanted pregnancy

I once had a colleague who was consistently hooking up with a friend. Even though she had intense feelings for the guy, he remained noncommittal about the relationship. Yet, every now and again, they’d end up in bed together. After about six months of this back and forth, she got pregnant and the guy just up and vanished.

He switched off his phone after hearing the news and was unreachable for days. She had to go through the abortion alone and didn’t confide in anyone about the traumatic event for months afterwards. Needless to say, the experience scarred her for life. To make matter worse, the abortion led to infertility.

Unwanted pregnancies can have devastating consequences. If the partner does not support you during this trying time, you’re left to fend for yourself at a time when you may not have the emotional and financial prowess to deal with the situation. Even if abortion is an option, it can come with lifelong physical and psychological ramifications. Similarly, engaging in unprotected premarital sex and popping emergency contraceptive pill afterwards can also have serious side effects.

5. High risk of STDs

The hormones are raging, there are sparks flying and intense emotions at play. All of these factors can trigger an insatiable lust. In the heat of the moment, the thought of using protection may not even cross your mind or may seem inconsequential. However, if you’ve multiple partners or are engaging in sex with someone whose sexual history you have no clue about, you expose yourself to the risk of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

Whether it is itching, burning, rashes on your genitals or something serious as herpes or HIV, your sexual and reproductive health may be seriously compromised in the bargain. Besides, at that stage in your life, you may not have the resources or knowledge to deal with such medical complications independently.

6. Having sex changes your body

When you lose your virginity, your body undergoes physical as well as psychological changes. It’s almost as if you become a new person who looks different and has a changed perspective on everything. Your breasts swell up, your hips may feel wider, you may experience sudden sexual urges – all of this can be hard to process, especially if you become sexually active at a young age.

7. You step into your marriage with an emotional baggage

Sex is not just an act between two bodies, it is an engagement of the mind and subconscious too. That relationship may not work out in the long term, you move on and marry someone else but it becomes difficult to shake off the emotional baggage from your past completely. The feelings of anger, betrayal or even residual love can interfere with your ability to start a new relationship with a clean slate. That's one of the major reasons we have many divorcees today.

8. The premarital relationship may lead to infidelity

Having shared close physical intimacy with a person may increase the likelihood of infidelity after the relationship has run its course. Say you and your partner part ways, and you move on with another person. However, somewhere down the line, this old flame comes back into your life. In such cases, the likelihood of cheating on one’s present partner increases because you already share a comfort level with this other person from your past, so being with them feels familiar and comforting rather than unnatural or wrong.

9. Premarital sex can change your outlook toward love

This happens when what you get after physical intimacy is followed by heartbreak. You were physically and emotionally invested in the relationship. Perhaps, you were young and this was one of those fairytale romances where you automatically imagine a happily ever after. Then, your partner falls out of love and move on, and the cruel reality of life hits you. This can change your outlook toward love and you might start viewing everyone with suspicion. As a result, you may push away even a genuine person and struggle to establish a meaningful relationship again.

10. You risk spiritual damage

Religious conditioning and beliefs are a major influence on a person’s value system and thought process. Most religions advice against sexual intimacy in premarital relationships. If you’ve grown up in a deeply religious or spiritual environment, the physical intimacy between you and your partner may affect you spiritually. You may find it hard to connect with ‘your God’ as you did before, and that can have serious implications on the future course of your life since religion plays an important role in most people’s life.



I hope you’ll factor in these potential risks and consequences when making a decision about whether or not to take the plunge of sexual intimacy in premarital relationships. In the end, the right decision boils down to what works for you both individually and as a couple but if you’re doing it under pressure or out of fear of losing your significant other, I strongly recommend you don’t do it unless you want to.