Ileke-IdI:


keep switching. Infact tomorrow, your father can even be Hausa.
Lots of you on NL with nefarious agenda. Na today?

Ileke-IdI:


At first you said your mom was Yoruba and your dad was Igbo, later you said your mom was igbo and your dad was Yoruba.
If you guys must come on NL to lie, why not go over yor story before you post it.
What's my offspring got to do with this thread? Truss me, my baby is sleeping peacefully as I type.

PS: There is no Nigerian unity.

Ileke-IdI:



I think the main question is why Yoruba women do not marry Igbo men. Yoruba women also marry out of their tribe, yet they side step Igbo men. it's not a question of how Igbo men don't marry Yoruba women, because even Igbo women marry outside of Igboland (Yoruba, Deltans, Urhobo, etc) once they have seen better outside.

The other main question to ask is why many Nigerian women marry Yoruba men in large.

I noticed that a Igbo men tend to complain about Yoruba men and Igbo women, why is that? You all seem to be making up different excuses; either blaming Yoruba women or calling your igbo women outcasts. I'm suspecting that the poster is an Igbo man because her family story does not match up.

V_Official®:
..not being sentimental buh... i can't believe what all the "grown ups" are talking about is food, food n food....
Oops! maybe coz i'm very good at it n rarely go for local dishes... i'd rather we talked more about 'killer' ideas than food, dish, amala et al....
ok, lemme start... what if we have:
1). A reality tv show about real life debates like these or,
2.) Cooking competitions involving contestants from all tribes and..
3.) maybe... just a drama about stuffs like these...
...'coz i'm sure this thread among others is a real life proof that producers will definitely be interested...
any other person seeing it my way?

alj harem: @ Nri Priest, I saw your post the other day but decided not to post on this thread again to see the direction of the thread.
I really don't want to get into this discussion but there are somethings I must point out.

1. There are Yoruba women married to Igbo men. Although it is rare because yoruba women would likely marry Yorubas, Hausa, Fulani and Edo/Itsekiri also foreigners outside africa. Very rarely do you see Yoruba women marry Igbos due the standards they demand from there men. Everything is not by brunt force and strength, A yoruba woman would only marry you if you are confident and very clever. I know this for a fact, those yoruba women that marry Igbo men find something in that Igbo man that is special otherwise it is rare. This does not mean they are tribalistic or look down on people, their standards are just high.

2. @ Mimifowon I think you have the wrong interpretation or just a wrong preconception about yorubas in general. If your father is indeed a yoruba man, you should ask him what he saw in your mother for him to marry her. Also ask YOUR mother why she married him. That way you get a feel of what is going on.

3. Igbo women are indeed amazing and I that I am talking have dated quite a few. They are easy going once they love you, good cooks etc very good qualities but so are there Yoruba women counterpart if you meet the right one. Although again the standards of yoruba women are high and I am not talking of the random ones, I am talking about the one from an average family (not too rich not too poor) yes their standards are high. The highest standard in women can be found in fulani women. They are quite difficult to get followed by yoruba then hausa.

4. @ Mbatuku2, I understand your point on variety in dishes. I must admit that is a fault yoruba women need to work on but not that they can't cook, Yes they can cook in general.

5. Yoruba men don't marry based on ethnicity. They marry any human in skirt or at least the ones I know have seen since my existence and any yoruba man would tell you the same. This applies to Igbo women as well, thus I think that is why they "gel" better than even Igbo men to Igbo women or Yoruba men to Yoruba women. The standards of Igbo men are high and so are the standards of Yoruba women, thus the clash (this is another speculation).



I hope all is well

tpia@:



you got it backwards (intentionally?).

igbos value beauty greatly.

yorubas are the ones who esteem character more.

vicoloni: A close friend of mine just called to inform me that a young lady whom he just met casually recently just called and told him she is pregnant for him. He was still trying to absorb this rather funny claim only for her elder sister to call and rain threats on him.

My friend is a practising xtian and happily married with children. He claimed to have given her a lift about a month ago because she is the younger sister to a former neighbour.

If I didnt know my friend very well i would not have doubted the girl's claim.

Kindly offer advise on what he should do. I have a feeling some people are just trying to smear his good public name. My friend is a respected minister of God in my area.

Regards.

tanimola22:

How many naija PhD from Federal and State Universities can stand foot to foot with their mates internationally?

Have you all tried to bother whether her work was published in a top international journal that many PhD holders can only dream about? Have you all bothered to know whether she had a co-supervisor from another country, say US or UK, who made sure she did a world class thesis?

Anyway sha, any naija PhD holder that thinks this girl does not merit her PhD should come out and state why.

T22

mbatuku2:

Well, for me, I consider tall women(who are not obesed) with good facial features as beautiful.



I think the only complaint here is yoruba women cant cook. Culinary skills are some of the last things a man would find out when dating a woman.

You make it look like there's something inate that will never allow an Igbo man to find a yoruba woman as an ideal mate. I'm yet to see it, though. You better dont buy into false information. There are many Igbo man/yoruba women marriages. I saw a lot myself when growing up and still know a quite a number till date.

One_Naira:

Of course there are beauties among the yoruba communities. Beauties and wowo's are in every community. You are not getting what i'm saying, I said overall the attraction is not there between the two groups. Even though you'll see it once in awhile here and there but overall if you count the entire community it's a rarity. Maybe another direction might clear what i'm trying to say. Take Ethiopians for a example, once in awhile you'll see an Ethiopian man dating a west African or even akata but overall it not common because of the same attraction policy. Another illustration Ghanaian for an example, even though Nigerians and Ghanaians have been interacting with each other alot longer than Nigerians and Zimbabweans or Nigerians and south-African, Nigerian and South African marital status is alot higher than Ghanaian and Nigerian marriage which again all boils down to attraction. Let's be realistic if it didn't happen in lagos, it didn't happen in asaba, it didn't happen in PH and didn't happen in USA, it probably won't happen in ontisha, enugu, etc.

IMO both



Dude yeah. We both have different taste. In my opinion, omotola is very average

My yardstick for attraction is beauty (physical), attitude (confident), educated, strong, can cook, can clean, not-dependent, etc

Aqva:

A 25 years old lady has bagged a Ph.D At Babcock University.
A good feat i must say but i would have been more impressed if it was a Federal University. Just saying.

http://www.punchng.com/education/25-year-old-bags-phd-in-babcock/

mbatuku2:

You made some valid points that got me thinking in a new perspective. But I have a feeling you might not be perfectly correct. What is standard for mutual attraction? Looks? character? I know there's a generalization about yoruba girls not being good-looking, but there are quite a handful that are more beautiful than the average Igbo girl. Omotola Jalade comes to mind. Maybe I need to understand your yardstick for attraction.

mbatuku2:

Are you into acting? You seem like someone I've met before? All what you've said fits into her profile.

Odenigbo Aroli: @mimifonwon,you said earlier that your mum spoke yoruba; I will like to know where she was raised andwhen she learned yoruba?

anonymous6:

Look I know in America who ever raised you is the culture most likely you will live and at times identify as; and I have seen that example with mixed race Americans, especially who are half black, and coincidentally many mixed race people in America have non-black mothers so many of them call themselves mixed, at times white, only a few of this generation call themselves Black only the old school biracials(like OBAMA) still claim that now. plus it is a little grey because you have some who will act black but only date & marry their white side and vice versa, etc.

When it comes to mixed tribal people of Nigeria their are two ways I see them follow, it is either they claim and identify both sides(like the OP and V official) or they claim and live one side. I have cousins in Nigeria and their mother is not Yoruba or Nigerian, and they claim only yoruba and both are married to yoruba women, I have a friend who has a edo father and yoruba mom and she claims both sides but majority of the time socially hangs out with yoruba's & she only goes out with yoruba men, one who happened to be a cousin of mine at one point, I have another friend who has a hausa father and yoruba mom(both parents are christain) but leans toward her yoruba side. I know four females who are mixed yoruba/igbo and were born and raised in Nigeria(two have igbo fathers & two have igbo mothers); One is a free spirit and identifies both, three claim yoruba and they all ended up marrying yoruba men but they are not afriad to say their igbo side when asked. the funny part the two that claims yoruba have igbo fathers, one loves her igbo father and she hangs out with edo alot and igbo but when it comes to social gatherings she mostly goes to yoruba gatherings and always dated yoruba men before she ended up marrying one, the other ones father wasn't really there for her due to family issues and the biafra war. One of them who claims yoruba but has a igbo mother, is actually closer to her mother then her father, and her father is even half yoruba and igbo, so sometimes it is weird how things end up at times.

So am I considering the identity of these children from these union? Yes but their identity happens to depends on many things from parents, culture, experiences and etc. In African culture though who ever the father is that is what the child is, and to a extent it is correct but sometimes that rule goes out the window depending on certain things. I feel in the olden days of Nigeria this rule would have been clear cut by now a days things are slowly changing but I do think to a extent the old rule of africa will still remain since many Nigerians follow culture/tribal culture.

For me though I don't take any of this personal but not all mixed tribal Nigerians follow one way of identifying, so I don't feel comfortable judging anybody about it cause their are some with the OP's background that would only claim Yoruba, so not everything is clear cut.

tpia@:



but are you considering the children of such unions and how this will affect their identity later in life.

well, i guess settling in lagos is always an option sha.

quarter this and two tenths that doesnt really cut it with people unless you're in the midst of similar fellows- eg the US or somewhere.

just theorizing here.

as per the op- she's not even happy someone asked her out, she wants to start abusing the guy because he called her igbo after she threw him a shocker about her background. If she knows what people can face in the name of marrying half tribes or is it half and halfs, she'd think properly.

anyway, she's still young.

acidtalk: I got a very big surprise earlier today.

A very good friend's father called me yesterday only to instruct me to come see him unfailinly today. When I got there, I was shocked as the old man told me myself and his two sons were going to help in out in the kitchen to cook for his wife's 62nd birthday as she was expected to fly in this afternoon (she has arrived).

He specifically wanted to prepare fish stew, meat stew, fried snail sauce,banga soup, salad, jollof and fried rice as well as egusi soup.

He did the "luck deep pick" by writting in paper what the four of use were going to prepare differently, long story short,

I was lucky to have selected the fish stew and egusi soup (but had to snap the fish stew with meat stew with my friend because I hadly or never even cook fish).


After preparing dinner and we serving it to the entire household with a few fimily friends who came to the small get together.
Without announcing who prepared what, to my greatest surprise it appeared by Egusi and and meat stew got a whole lot of compliments with the egusi being the overall winner (by everyone's vote). *winks*

After much talk about the idea of men knowing how to cook and how well it could help the homefront, I was struct by the statement of an elder man of over 80years saying at his age he still enters the kitchen once a while to help his wife out and that "a man should be Ashamed rather than proud for not knowing how to cook".

Fellow nairalnders do you agree with the above statement by this elderly man? A man who grew up from the very old generation where it was believed women should do ALL domestic chores. Without the man assisting.

V_Official®:
Hmm... cool thread!!!
Lemme say, from my point of view... Meine mutti ist aus central Nigeria und vati, a typical yoruba man. No big deal at home, although, as the OP had said-, tribalistic shits happen at home sometimes but non of them has in any way preached to me against any relationship with the easterners.... not until my paternal grandfather and some of my dad's friends sat me down(as the first child and only son). They told me specifically not to ever get married to an igbo woman. I asked several questions to know why it became as serious as they tagged it--,, all they had to say had a common tag "mo gbó (i heard) or wón so mí (they said)". I personally believe that despite the fact that we have our differences, history had its cut against the relationship some igbos (or "tagged" igbos) had had with foreigners. like boiling them alive or sacrificing of any sort.... them say, them say

tpia@:



and does that change the fact that you're half igbo?

while i dont necessarily support your ex boyfriend's attitude towards your background, why didnt you tell him beforehand that your mum is igbo? You dated for 3 months and he still didnt know?

If you're dating a yoruba person, that should be one of the first things you tell him, imo. Otherwise they'll be wondering why you dont act like an average yoruba.





as per the rest of your post and the thread title: its been hashed and rehashed many times over.

use the search function.

PrettyCindy: I know two person who had to change their name; one was formally Maureen while the other was Endurance. In some cases people are told by their pastors to to change and even provide them with new names.
Those who bear Endurance or Patience are told that they will always encounter stumbling blocks to in their various endeavours, Maureen means darkness, Linda means snake and so on and the list continues........

My name means goddess of the sun, someone actually told me to change it or stop answering it but i didn't.
So what do you think about names with negative meaning. Did you ever change your name?

anonymous6:

I can tell you are not tribalistic but your thread will be the breading ground for a tribal thread just to warn you. First of all majority of Yoruba men marry yoruba females but a significant amount are marrying igbo girls but it is not vice versa when it comes Yoruba females. Yoruba females and igbo men majority of time don't click(although I have witnessed two couples of that demographic), if a Yoruba female marrys out it would most likely be hausa if she is muslim or edo. I have noticed eastern Nigerian tribes easily marry amongst each other easily, plus their are always other tribes to marry into it is not by force for you to marry yoruba but my question for you is why does it concern you why it is not vice versa with Yoruba females?

ezotik: this story sounds very nollywoodish, a home video directed by oduwa imasuen

BlackPikiN:

How is your dad 35% Igbo since you said He's 100% yoruba.

SimonAndal: You're here fighting over his ethnicity or lack thereof, but correct me if I'm wrong but I'm sure he never identified with Nigeria in his interview.